Saturday, January 22
Future Hunters (1988) at 1:30 am ET/PT.
A warrior from the year 2025 travels back in time to find a spear that pierced the body of Jesus Christ. Why? Because he's trying to save the human race which also explains why he gets mixed up with neo-Nazis, Amazon warriors, a Mongolian horde, and a race of benevolent pygmies in the Philippine jungle. Confused? You should be. Richard Norton stars in this low-budget sci-fi adventure with elements "borrowed" from more successful films like Mad Max and Indiana Jones.
Rating: TV-14. If you are looking for MonsterVision host segments of a movie with kung fu (by Bruce Li), midgets, Nazis and Amazon warriors, you want Future Hunters. Not to be confused with Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode/movie #1004 Future War
100% Wierd: The Frozen Dead (1966) at 3:30 am
Dana Andrews stars as an obsessed scientist (it's not politically correct to call them "mad" anymore) determined to bring a slew of frozen Nazi officers back to life. There's a slight problem though. After being kept in an ice cold meat locker since the end of World War II, their brains don't work too well. To remedy this, Dana has his assistant procure a fresh brain. Don't ask, don't tell. Pretty soon there's a severed head in the secret laboratory giving telepathic instructions to the Nazi popsicles. You've got to tune in for this one if only for the insane climax! Michael Weldon, author of The Psychotronic Encyclopedia of Film, calls it "an unheralded wonder of silliness." There is no higher praise. Rating: TV-14.
Saturday, January 29
Planet of the Apes (1968) at 1 am ET/PT.
The tables are turned when a group of U.S. astronauts crash land on some unknown planet where apes are in charge and humans are treated like beasts of burden. Based on Pierre Boule's novel, Monkey Planet, this landmark entry in the sci-fi genre piles on the social commentary thanks to screenwriters Rod "Twilight Zone" Serling and Michael Wilson. Charlton Heston spends most of the movie half-naked and on the run while under the Oscar-winning makeup by John Chambers you might be able to identify Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, and Maurice Evans. Rating: TV-14-V
MonsterVision review & host segments from year 2000
Monstervision review & host segments from Joe Bob's 1999 Summerschool
Joe Bob's review of the parody movie Playmate Of The Apes
100% Wierd: Dr. Blood's Coffin (1961) at 4 am
After setting up a secret laboratory in an abandoned Cornish tin mine, a biochemist (Kieron Moore) begins experimenting with decaying flesh and living organs. A macabre early effort by director Sidney J. Furie who went on to direct The Ipcress File and The Leather Boys. 92m, Rating: TV-PG-V
Saturday, February 5
Piranha II: The Spawning (1981) at 1 am ET/PT
In this loose sequel to Piranha, scientific research produces a mutant creature - part piranha, part flying fish - which proceeds to breed and feast on the guests at a ritzy Carribean resort. It's hard to tell from the evidence here that director James Cameron would go on to make The Terminator, Aliens, and Titanic. Rating: TV-14-V. Joe Bob's reviews of Piranha and The Terminator
100% Wierd: She (1965) at 3:15 am
Ursula Andress is "She Who Must Be Obeyed," a 2,000 year old queen from the lost city of Kuma who remains youthful by bathing in the Flame of Eternal Life. When she meets rugged adventurer John Richardson, she recognizes him as her long-lost lover from a former lifetime. John, however, isn't too excited about jumping into those funny blue flames. Christopher Lee co-stars as Billali, a high priest who enjoys presenting human sacrifices for the Queen's delight, and Peter Cushing plays Major Holly, the only character immune to the insanity around him. Robert Day directed this lavish Hammer production which inspired the sequel, The Vengeance of She. Not to mention such tv series as Wonder Woman and Xena. Rating: TV-PG-V
Saturday, February 12
Critters (1986) at 12:40 am ET/PT
Small fur balls with sharp teeth escape an alien prison facility and escape to Earth where they find plenty of humans to bite. Their fun is soon interrupted by two extraterrestrial bounty hunters who have the ability to change shape at will. An entertaining sci-fi/horror comedy that spawned three sequels. Dee Wallace Stone and M. Emmet Walsh head the cast.
Rating: TV-14-V. >Monstervision Review & Host Segments for Critters
100% Wierd: Critters 4 (1992) at 2:40 am
Bounty hunter Charlie McFadden (Don Opper) finds himself on a derelict space station with a small crew of salvage workers and a bunch of critter eggs. Naturally the eggs hatch and a nasty "Krite" infestation begins. To add to the mayhem, crew member Brad Dourif is locked in a power struggle with the ship's central computer, Angela (the voice of Martine Beswick). An oddball mixture of comedy and sci-fi horror. Rating: TV-14-V.
Saturday, February 19
Breeders (1986) at 1:30 am ET/PT
Green insect alien rapists are setting up camp in the bowels of the Empire State Building for the imprisonment and impregnation of female virgins. Doctor Teresa Farley and cop Lance Lewman are the earthlings who plan to rock their world. Nasty special effects and some soft core sex scenes you won't see (Thank you TNT censors!) make this a must for the politically incorrect.
Rating: TV-14-V. Monstervision Review & Host Segments for Breeders
100% Wierd: The Minotaur (1961) at 3:45 am
Olympic decathon champion Bob Mathias versus the Wild Beast of Crete. Actually, it takes a while to get to the big match in this Italian import and when we do, Mister Bob fights dirty, using the-old-flaming-torch-in-the-eye trick. But enough about that. There's lots more to ogle here - scantily clad maidens being served up to the famished Minotaur and the luscious Rosanna Schiaffino in a dual role, one good, one evil. And if that doesn't appeal to you, how about the sight of helpless victims being tossed into a pit of wild dogs? Rating: TV-PG-V
Saturday, February 26
Project: Metalbeast (1995) at 12:30 am ET/PT
Werewolves, skin grafts, and cryogenics are just a few of the bizarre plot elements tossed together in this imaginative horror fantasy which opens with the military tracking a mysterious creature through the woods in Belgrade circa 1974. Barry Bostwick, Brian Brophy, Kim Delaney, and Mario Burgos head the cast. Rating: TV-14-V
Monstervision Review & Host Segments for Project Metalbeast Not to be confused with "Body Armor" (see April 22 below) or "Project Shadowchaser" - MonsterVision host segments for that one on tape but not yet transcribed.
100% Wierd: The Howling VII: New Moon Rising (1994) at 2:45 am
Number seven in the incredible Howling series, this entry is set in the backwoods hamlet of Pioneertown, California where the locals amuse themselves at the local saloon, pickin' and a-grinnin' to country-western standards like "Keep the Wolf Away from the Door." In between songs, a baffled cop (John Ramsen) tries to solve a series of grisly throat-rippings and his main suspect is a stranger from Australia. Rating: TV-14-LV. Monstervision original 100% Wierd description page, along with Howling 7 host segments from a previous broadcast on MonsterVision
See also Joe Bob's reviews of Howling 2, Howling 3, Howling 5, and Howling 6, though it won't help you any. Joe Bob says each movie in the series has nothing to do with any of the others...
Saturday, March 4
The Dead Zone (1983) at 1 am ET/PT.
A New England schoolteacher (Christopher Walken) is seriously injured in a car accident, goes into a coma, and doesn't come out of it for five years. When he awakens, he discovers that he possesses a strange power. Whenever he touches someone, he can see into their future and sometimes it isn't very pretty. Like when he crosses paths with a political candidate for the U. S. Senate (Martin Sheen). Based on the best-selling novel by Stephen King and directed by David Cronenberg. Rating: TV-14-LV. Monstervision review & host segments for "The Dead Zone"
100% Wierd: Wheels on Meals (1984) at 3:30 am
Jackie Chan and Yuen Biao are two food vendors trying to make a living selling Chinese meals on the streets of Barcelona. Their acquaintance with a beautiful heiress (Lola Forner) soon brings them into contact with detective Samo Hung, assigned to investigate her recent disappearance. Together the trio vow to track down the evil count (Herb Edelman) who has kidnapped the heiress with plans to siphon her inheritance. Great stunt work and exciting martial arts action highlight this comic adventure which is a high point in Chan's career in the eighties. The climatic fight between Chan and Benny Urquidez, one of his most formidable opponents, is still considered a classic match. By the way, Urquidez, a kickboxer with a 58-0 record, was nearly fired for hitting his co-stars too hard during the filming of Wheels on Meals. Blame it on Method acting. Rating: TV-14-LV.
Or would you rather see MonsterVision review and host segments for Big Trouble In Little China from 1997?
Saturday, March 11
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) at 11:30 pm
A high school cheerleader discovers she is descended from a courageous vampire hunter from the Dark Ages which probably explains her expertise at battling bloodsuckers. Kristy Swanson plays the somersaulting Valley Girl who takes on the evil Uno (Rutger Hauer) and his nocturnal followers. Donald Sutherland, Luke Perry, Candy Clark, and Paul "Pee-Wee Herman" Reubens round out the quirky cast. Based on a popular comic strip which also inspired the current television series. Rating: TV-14-V. Monstervision Review & Host Segments for Buffy
100% Wierd: It Lives Again (1978) at 3:30 am
Kathleen Ryan's worst fears about her troubled pregnancy are confirmed when she gives birth to a killer baby with sharp fangs and deadly claws. Her horrified husband, Frederic Forrest, convinces her to flee with him and the child to a hidden research facility where other mutant babies frolic in their cages. Meanwhile, the government issues an all-points-bulletin alert for the fugitive couple. Larry Cohen's highly political follow-up to "It's Alive" (showing next week in the 100% Wierd timeslot) co-stars John Ryan, Andrew Duggan, John Marley, and Eddie Constantine. Rating: TV-14-V.
Saturday, March 18
Skeeter (1993) at 12:45 am
What's worse than a swarm of mosquitos on a hot summer night? A swarm of giant killer mosquitos, that's what! Blame it on that toxic waste dump near the old mine. Tracy Griffith, Jim Youngs, Michael J. Pollard, Sarah Douglas, and Charles Napier are the human bait. Rating: TV-14-V
Monstervision Review & Host Segments for Skeeter
It's Alive (1975)
The worst pregnancy on record wasn't Rosemary's Baby after all! Sharon Farrell had a much harder time of it giving birth to this hideous little brat which promptly slaughtered every doctor and nurse in the delivery room. A cautionary tale about fertility drugs and other social issues directed by the eclectic Larry Cohen. Definitely a highpoint in the killer-baby genre. Rating: TV-14-V Original 100% Wierd page for It's Alive, along with Monstervision Review & Host Segments from a previous broadcast
Saturday, March 25
The Company of Wolves (1985) at 12:20 am
Sarah Patterson is plagued by strange dreams in which she and her family are living in a past century and werewolves are a common threat. One day she meets a tall, dark and handsome stranger with thick bushy eyebrows deep in the woods and....Neil Jordan's arty, Freudian variation on "Little Red Riding Hood" is full of startling imagery, bizarre special effects, and a stellar cast featuring Angela Lansbury, David Warner (Jack the Ripper in past Monstervision movie Time After Time), and Stephen Rea. Rating: TV-14-V. Joe Bob's review & Monstervision host segments for "A Company Of Wolves"
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1978)
Who killed beauty queen Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) and why did she hobnob with the subterranean lowlifes of Twin Peaks? Who is killer BOB, and what is the nature of his evil? What is the Black Lodge and what lurks behind its blood-red curtains? Who shot JR? Where are my socks? David Lynch's prequel to the cult TV series may or may not answer all these questions but it certainly deserves some kind of award for total weirdness. All the usual suspects are here plus cameos by Harry Dean Stanton (Repo Man), Calvin Lockhart, Kiefer Sutherland, musicians Chris Isaak and David Bowie, and many more. A past Monstervision feature. Rating: TV-14-LSV
Monstervision Review & Host Segments for Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.
Not to be confused with MonsterVision host segments for Twins (Schwarzenegger & Danny DeVito. Trust me)
Saturday, April 1
Voodoo (1995) at 12:45 am ET/PT
We've always suspected that college fraternities were devil-worshipping cults but this film proves it. Corey Feldman of Goonies wants to be frat boy in the worst way but first he has to go through the initiation process and it involves a live human sacrifice, namely his girlfriend.
Rating: TV-14-V. Joe Bob's review & MonsterVision host segments for Voodoo
* Technically, this is really the morning of Sunday, April 2. Call it an April's Fool joke by the TNT scheduling department.
Margot Kidder (Lois Lane in the Superman movie series) plays an amateur mystery writer on vacation in Malta who suddenly finds herself in the middle of an international espionage plot involving undercover agent Robert Hays. A tongue-in-cheek spoof from the Disney studios without the usual Disney goofyness. "Romancing The Stone" came out the following year using a similar plot. Coincidence? Leonard Maltin gives it 2 stars. Rating: TV-14. Original 100% Wierd page for Trenchcoat
Saturday, April 8
The Stepfather (1987) at 12:30 am ET/PT
Terry O'Quinn, in the title role, massacres his current family, assumes a new identity in a new town, and proceeds with a demented plan to create the perfect model family. Shelly Hack and Jill Schoelen are part of the master plan in this superior B-movie thriller that also works as a black comedy and a satire on American family values. Rating: TV-14-LV. Joe Bob's Monstervision review & host segments for The Stepfather, and his thoughts on the new "Charlie's Angels" movie...
The Seduction (1982) at 2:35 am ET/PT
All about a photographer and his obsession for a certain blonde anchorwoman. The stalker is Andrew Stevens and the object of his desire is Morgan Fairchild, a successful newscaster in Los Angeles. Watch in amazement as Stevens's pursuit of Fairchild escalates from persistent phone calls to telescope surveillance of her home to outrageous acts of violence. Rating: TV-14-V. Original 100% Wierd page for The Seduction
Saturday, April 15
My Boyfriend's Back (1993) at 1:15 am ET/PT Johnny Dingle's big plans for the senior prom are abruptly altered when he dies in a shooting incident while trying to protect his girlfriend. Despite this major setback, he manages to return from the grave to keep the date, even though he is now a flesh-eating ghoul. Originally titled, Johnny Zombie, this supernatural comedy stars Andrew Lowery, Traci Lind, Paul Dooley, Cloris Leachman (Nurse Ratchet in High Anxiety), Edward Herrmann and Mary Beth Hurt. Directed by former actor Bob Balaban (Parents). Rating: TV-14. My Boyfriend's Back Monstervision host segments & review
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
Five children win special tickets entitling them to a lifetime supply of candy and a personal tour of the mysterious Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory. Kids that don't abide by the rules, however, get more than they bargained for in this eccentric fantasy reminiscent of a Grimm's fairy tale. Based on the popular children's book by Roald Dahl, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is directed by Mel Stuart and stars Gene Wilder as the slightly creepy, unpredictable title character. Rating: G. Monstervision review & host segments of Willy Wonka
Saturday, April 22
Body Armor (1997) at 2 am ET/PT Matt McColm stars as a professional bodyguard/private detective/commando who is hired by his ex-girlfriend (Annabel Schofield) to track down her friend, Dr. Stanley Erhardt, who disappeared while working for KRAGO laboratories. The situation turns deadly when Matt is ambushed during his investigation and is injected with a lethal virus. A perfect drive-in movie with campy guest appearances by John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman, former model Carol Alt, and Clint Howard of The Icecream Man as Matt's goofy sidekick. Rating: TV-14-LV. Joe Bob Review & Monstervision Host Segments for Body Armor
Pet Shop (1994)
Welcome to Cactus Flats, Arizona where Mr. and Mrs. Zip run a rather peculiar pet shop. The most peculiar part is that Mr. and Mrs. Zip are aliens who fancy cowboy gear and don't stock normal pets in their store. Adding to the strangeness is a family that has just arrived in town, courtesy of a government protection program. A Charles Band production starring Jeff Michalski and Jane Morris. Rating: TV-PG Original 100% Wierd page for Pet Shop, a past MonsterVision movie Monstervision Review & Host Segments of Pet Shop
Saturday, April 29
Leviathan (1989) at 12:30 am
If you happen to discover any abandoned Russian submarines in the ocean depths, don't make the mistake of raiding their pantry and drinking the vodka. Why? Because it might not be vodka. It might be a genetic experiment disguised as a clear, odorless liquid. Daniel Stern finds out the hard way and some of his fellow crew members pay the consequences in this Alien wannabe which also stars Peter Weller, Amanda Pays, Richard Crenna (Rambo's boss), Ernie Hudson, Lisa Eilbacher, and Meg Foster. Rating: TV-14-DLV. MonsterVision host Segments & Joe Bob's Review of Leviathan, and his thoughts on "Alien" rip-offs...
Followed by two different 100% Wierd movies:
C.H.U.D.2: Bud the CHUD (1989) at 2:50 am ET/PT
A group of mischievous teenagers hijack a military experiment (a frozen corpse) and take it home with them only to discover that they have a cannibalistic zombie on their hands and it has a deadly bite. A sequel in name only, this horror-comedy stars Bill Calvert, Larry Cedar, and such familiar faces as Norman Fell, Gerritt Graham, June Lockhart, Clive Revill, and Bianca Jagger. Rating: TV-14-V. Original 100% Wierd page for CHUD 2
Curse of the Faceless Man (1958) at 4:35 am ET/PT
A huge calcified figure found buried near Pompeii is sent to an American museum where it begins to display strange qualities. Research indicates that 2,000 years ago it lived as Quintilius, an Etruscan slave-gladiator who loved the daughter of a Roman senator. Before you can say tana leaves, the calcified mummy is stalking a painter (Elaine Edwards) who is the reincarnation of his long-lost love in this "Bride of the Mummy" wannabe. Rating: TV-PG-V. Original 100% Wierd page for Faceless Man
Saturday, May 6
Beetlejuice (1988) at 1:30 am ET/PT
After accidentally drowning, a bewildered married couple return to haunt their lovely farm house which is now being abused by a gauche couple with a depressed teenage daughter (Winona Ryder). Are you laughing yet? There aren't too many comedies about the afterlife but this imaginative entry from Tim Burton is easily the best. Michael Keaton tries to steal the film as a demonic entity that gives Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin tips on how to exorcise their house of humans. The music score is by Danny Elfman with a little help from Harry Belafonte.
Rating: TV-PG-L, Monstervision host segments & review for Beetlejuice. This is the most popular link on the website.
House of Wax (1953)
One of Vincent Price's most famous roles, this remake of Mystery of the Wax Museum is about a demented museum curator who creates amazingly lifelike sculptures modeled on famous historical figures. In fact, Phyllis Kirk (Lois Lane in the 1950s Superman tv-series)thinks the new Joan of Arc addition looks a lot like her recently murdered roommate (Carolyn Jones of TV's Addams Family). Originally filmed in 3-D, you can still see evidence of this technique in the famous paddle-ball sequence and the fiery wax-melting climax. Rating: TV-PG-V Original 100% Wierd page for House Of Wax. MonsterVision review & partial host segments for House Of Wax
Saturday, May 13
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972) at 12:35 am ET/PT
Number four in the infamous apes series finds Caesar (Roddy McDowall), the son of Cornelius and Zira, leading a massive revolution against mankind for their enslavement of his species. You'll be rooting for the simians and not the sadistic humans in this violent entry which was seen by some film critics as a crude metaphor for the Civil Rights movement of the sixties.
Rating: TV-PG-V, Joe Bob's review & Monstervision host segments
Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995)
Jobe, the mentally deficient gardener turned evil super-genius, is back despite greatly exaggerated reports of his death. This time there's a power struggle over a dark and gritty L.A. while a gaggle of scruffy youngsters hope to save the day. Throw in a little virtual reality to keep the snazz ratings high and you've got all the ingredients for a real head-popper. Rating: TV-14-V. Original 100% Wierd page for Lawnmower Man 2
Outer Limits (b/w episode), 4:55 am
Invaders enter a geologist's body and force him to seek the man who knows their secret. Not to be confused with MonsterVision host segments of Outer Limits: Cold Hands, Warm Heart and "I Robot" starring William Shatner & Leonard Nimoy
Saturday, May 20
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) at 12:30 am ET/PT.
The futher adventures of everybody's favorite Road Warrior. In this third installment in the series from Down Under, Mad Max (Mel Gibson) arrives at the cutthroat city of Bartertown which is presided over by Aunty Entity (Tina Turner). Here, he is forced into a battle-to-the-death in a Roman-style arena before being exiled to the desert where he encounters a tribe of wild children and other surprises.
Rating: TV-14-V Joe Bob's review & Monstervision host segments
Michael Caine (the dirty rotten scoundrel)plays a cartoonist who has a real nasty accident and loses one of his favorite body parts. Well, actually he doesn't exactly lose it! Let's just say that breaking up is hard to do! Inspired by a Peter Lorre movie. Give them a hand.
Original 100% Wierd page for The Hand, a past MonsterVision movie Monstervision Review & Host Segments have now been added
Saturday, May 27
100% Wierd: "My Girl" (1991) at 1 am
An 11-year-old meets a boy (Macaulay Culkin) and grows up at her father (Dan Aykroyd)'s funeral home in the summer of '72. Directed by: Howard Zieff. With: Anna Chlumsky, Jamie Lee Curtis, Richard Masur, Griffin Dunne, Ann Nelson, Peter Michael Goetz, Jane Hallaren, Anthony R. Jones. Note: Adult Situations, Language (PG). Did you know you can rearrange the letters in "funeral" to spell "real fun"?
* There will be no MonsterVision feature due to a special TNT New Classics Weekend marathon featuring Rain Man, Beetlejuice (at 3:30 am Sunday night & 12:20 am Wednesday night 5-31-00), The Witches of Eastwick (a pre-Harry Potter movie), Somewhere In Time, and other major titles. Joe Bob won't get mad, he'll get even.
Actually, MonsterVision is taking a one week vacation so that Joe Bob can clean out the trailer and get to bed early for once! But we'll be back June 3.
Or if you want to stay up all night with USA Network movies, at midnight Saturday they're showing Addams Family movies for 4 hours in a row
Saturday, June 3
Hercules and the Amazon Women (1994) at 12:15 am ET/PT.
The first of several pilot films which led to the popular Hercules series and its spinoff, Xena, features Kevin Sorbo in the title role, Michael Hurst as his sidekick, Iolaus, and Linda (Lucy) Lawless as the aggressive leader of the Amazons. Stir in a dragon with multiplying heads, holes in the ground that devour people, and Anthony Quinn as Zeus and you have the makings of a fun fantasy-adventure. Rating: TV-14
Joe Bob's Hercules Review & Amazon Women Monstervision Host Segments
The Omega Man (1971)
Charlton Heston survives a nuclear holocaust only to realize he is being targeted for extinction by a band of religious mutants led by Anthony Zerbe. Along the way he discovers other survivors like himself and even finds time to indulge in an interracial romance with Rosanne Cash before getting down to a duel to the death with his nocturnal tormentors. Based on Richard Matheson's "I Am Legend" which was made into an Italian horror film starring Vincent Price ("The Last Man on Earth"). Rating: TV-14-V
Original 100% Wierd page for Omega Man, followed tonight by
1960s Outer Limits episode:
Aliens choose amusement-park-ride passengers to travel into space and battle enemy forces. Simon Oakland agreed to star in this episode provided that he "got to be the monster."
Saturday, June 10
Christine (1983) at 1:15 am ET/PT.
Car love takes on a whole new meaning in Stephen King's bestselling tale of a 1958 Plymouth Fury and the teenage boy (Keith Gordon) who becomes obsessed with her. Or is he possessed by her? John Carpenter directs this tender tale of auto-eroticism co-starring John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, and Harry Dean Stanton.
Rating: TV-14. Joe Bob's Review & Monstervision Host Segments of Christine
A drug dealer (Ron O'Neal) makes plans for an early retirement after one last final sale but it's easier said than done. Attacked by film critics at the time of its release for glamorizing the life of a drug dealer, this trendsetting exploitation flick now seems relatively harmless by today's standards. Of course, you won't see the casual nudity or hear the persistent obscenities but you can still enjoy the seventies fashions, the excellent Curtis Mayfield score (he appears in a nightclub sequence), and the on-location photography on the mean streets of Harlem. Rating: TV-14-V. Original 100% Wierd page for Superfly
Saturday, June 17
Within the Rock (1996) at 1:30 am
A meteor is hurling toward Earth and a crew of miners are sent to avert it's course with high-powered explosives. Gee, this sounds suspiciously like "Armageddon" which actually came out two years later. Hey, we smell a lawsuit! But this does have an extra twist which the latter blockbuster didn't copy. There's a nasty alien creature buried deep in the meteor and he's about to bust loose. Xander Berkeley, Caroline Barclay, and some other direct-to-video stars play potential monster meat.
Rating: TV-14 Joe Bob's Review & Monstervision Host Segments are within the rock
The Tattooed Hit Man (1974)
Bunta Sugawara stars as a lone hitman who takes on the Japanese mafia in this Asian action revenge drama. You would think tattoos would be a drawback for a hitman, but, well, see the original 100% Wierd page for Tattooed Hitman for further explanation. English language version. Rating: TV-14-V.
Saturday, June 24
"Virtual Assassin" aka Cyberjack (1995) at 1 am ET/PT.
Can a janitor save the world from a demented, albino gang leader intent on stealing a computer virus that could create international chaos? He can if he happens to be ex-cop Nick James (Michael Dudikoff), a guy who can climb up elevator cables, crawl through air ducts, and play shoot-em-up with the meanest robot police force around. The late Brion James royally chews up the scenary as the arch villain and Suki Kaiser is easy on the eyes as the resident computer genius.
Rating: TV-14-LV. Virtual Assassin MonsterVision Review & Host Segments
Jason and the Argonauts (1963) at 3:15 am
The Gods of Mount Olympus play chess with the lives of Jason and his crew as the latter go in search of the golden fleece. A bronze giant named Talos, an army of sword-wielding skeletons, winged harpies, and a seven-headed Hydra are just a few of the special effects highlights created by master magician Ray Harryhausen. The music is by Bernard Herrmann.
Rating: TV-PG-V. Original 100% Wierd page for Jason & The Argonauts, with link to MonsterVision host segments of Harryhousen's remake, Clash of the Titans
Saturday, July 1
Replikator (1994) at 12:30 am ET/PT.
Set in a future world where the ozone layer is history, this sci-fi thriller stars Michael St. Gerard as a cyberpunk who tries to prevent a ruthless criminal from creating havoc with a new technology which can replicate any kind of material, even human tissue.
Rating: TV-14-V. Replikator's Monstervision Review & Host Segments
Mystery on Monster Island (1981) at 2:45 am
Here's a unique obscurity! A Spanish import based on a Jules Verne adventure and starring Terence Stamp (villain in the most recent SW movie), Peter Cushing (Darth Vader's Admiral in the original SW), and Paul Naschy. The madness begins when the son of a wealthy shipowner is stranded on a volcanic island containing hidden treasure and rubbery monsters. Accompanying our hero (Ian Serra) is his foppish dance instructor, a mischievous chimpanzee, and a loyal servant.
Rating: TV-14. Original 100% Wierd page for this movie
Saturday, July 8
Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992) at 1:15 am
He Who Walks Behind the Rows returns to Gatlin, New Mexico to take revenge on the people who have poisoned his cornfields with toxic chemicals. Reporter John Garrett (Terence Knox) and his son Danny (Paul Scherrer) get caught up in the mayhew which includes a series of bizarre deaths: a doctor is stabbed by his own hypodermic, an invalid takes a ride through a plate glass window, etc. Rating: TV-14-V.
Joe Bob's Review & Final Monstervision Host Segments. Joe Bob says TNT didn't tell him in advance that the show had been cancelled, so there are no goodbyes or anything. He says TNT "is putting out the story" that MonsterVision ended by mutual consent...
Not to be confused with Joe Bob's review of Psycho Scarecrow, "The cornfield protects those who protect it" (it's Canadian, eh?)
Monstervision 1999 Movies, Summerschool to December