Click Here if you don't know what "Click Here" means
Mike Nelson was a panelist/commentator in the 2004 docu series SUPER SECRET MOVIE RULES on VH-1. The series is repeated occasionally.
The Shadow was on USA Network recently (Mike Nelson's mind is still fogged from seeing it)
***** SYFY channel episodes of MST3K aired at 9 am Saturdays (EST/Pacific),
No episodes are scheduled for broadcast this year
It's probably Crow's fault. Click here for his apology
Click Here for your all-time favorite website on the internet
I apologize if there are any mistakes on this page. I didn't want to be a barber, I wanted to be a Lumberjack
Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard starred John Travolta in the year 3000. But Mike Nelson and his robot friends don't sound impressed in this clip. And please don't hold a Grudge (Mike had trouble understanding the Japanese version. It's as if he fell into some kind of Matrix). But was it really that hard to make fun of Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars: the Phantom Menace? At least Star Trek 6 has William Shatner. Now Star Trek 5 was much easier to make fun of, though this clip is a little better. And Brando's remake of a certain monster movie was ripe for the taking. Come on, give it a try. Be a Daredevil. And I hope you don't think Stallone is Over The Top. Or was that Nicolas Cage they were watching in The Wicker Man? I guess they're Lost in a silly Reign of Fire with a Wolverine in X-Men, The Movie. Besides, Arnold's busy with Terminator 3, before getting to the Crossroads (among the finest Britney Spears movies ever made) of running for Governor of California. Would you like a Cocktail while you wait for Harrison Ford to do something in Firewall...maybe he'll wake up in this other Firewall clip.
Forget it, I'm going to see what happens when Darth Vader's brother Chad joins Mike & the guys to watch Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Well, OK, that didn't go well, let's try a Star Wars Episode II RiffTrax clip without Vader. Here's the Trailer, as remastered by Tom and Crow. It all has something to do with the Fellowship of the Ring where the hills are alive with something. Or would you rather join Mike for a short about Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey? I'll be at the Road House with a monster truck and a Top Gun singing about the Fifth Element on Halloween. Don't mind me, I'm a Troll Too, a movie that has nothing to do with the sniper in XxX. What movies will they riff in 2007? Well, this shakey-cam interview probably won't help. Either Brokeback Mountain or Titanic. I think. It's a Design For Dreaming. I'm just Appreciating Our Parents, and other Alphabet Antics. Come to think of it, Mike and the bots made fun of "Titanic" already, in this look at The Oscars (1997). And why does Mike think that Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory was so weird?
Would you like to play a game? Wargames is on this week. Or if you prefer, Max Headrooom Squares has now been loaded onto this website including all 18 questions/answers and Max's original comments
Click here to watch Plan 9 from Outer Space in its entirety free of charge
*********************************************************************** Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie was seen in August 2006 on Showtime's Sundance channelClick here if you've finally gotten the voice of Jar Jar Binks out of your head (or to stop the music playing)
*********************************************************************** listings not yet available for the year 2525 (if Man is still alive, if Woman can survive) Sorry I didn't update this page sooner, I blame the space monkeys, and anyway Gremlins ate my computer... And then a Poltergeist ate my Doppleganger. They're almost as bad as Hobgoblins. MST3000 short about railroad safety Click here for cool version of time & date By the way, what happened to the planet Alderon? I keep getting this error message and This page cannot be displayed either
Here by mistake? Click Here to return to your previous page anywhere on the internet (how cool is that link?)
AFI has announced results of the 100 Greatest Heroes and Villains poll, and Arnold the Governator made both lists!
The James Bond page has been improved by adding visible text (why doesn't anyone tell me these things?)
Review & host segment for What's Up Tiger Lily
Had enough war? Visit "Zor and Zam"
Usually, the episodes run in order, but if an infinite number of monkeys were sitting at an infinite number of typewriters, they would have come up with the above schedule...
Click here for MST episodes, all 3 Sci-Fi channel years
Previously funny episodes on Comedy Central, all 7 years
Or click here for Monstervision with a link to Joe Bob's new website. You can also find host segments there for a movie reviewed by Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark...unpleasant dreams!
A handful of videos of the episodes (and The Movie) are still available:
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie(1996)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Atomic Brain(1994)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Red Zone Cuba(1994)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Eegah(1993)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Mitchell(1993)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Unearthly(1992)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Brain That Wouldn't Die(1991)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Cave Dwellers(1991)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Pod People(1991)
A book is available about Mystery Science Theater 3000, as well as the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, and Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese (I think Mike now writes for Timmybighands.com)
Or would you rather just read every Harry Potter book you can get your hands on?
Frequently Asked Questions
Best movies by Japanese guys in monster-suits ever made
Monstervision host segments page
Best Unofficial MST3000 website
Or check out last month's funny license plates
He's dead Jim
Cartoonist with writer's block
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! If you are Scrooge, click here
Click here for the live-actors version of
And now a word about Summer Rerun Season"Our old mistakes do come back to haunt us. Especially with video." Peter O'Toole (1988)
Previous Broadcasts: 12/08/2001 Space Mutiny #820 (it's got space, it's got mutiny, it's filmed in an old warehouse) 12/15/2001 Soultaker #1001 12/22/2001 Hamlet #1009 12/29/2001 Bat People #1010 01/05/2002 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank #822, Raul Julia like you've never seen him before! 01/12/2002 The Final Sacrifice #910 01/19/2002 Quest of the Delta Knights (#913) not to be confused with the Delta Queen, a steamboat on the Mississippi River 01/26/2002 Parts: The Clonus Horror #811, send in the clones 02/02/2002 Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders #1003 02/09/2002 Prince Of Space #816 (he's a real prince) 02/16/2002 The Girl in Gold Boots (not everyone can make a cheap movie this bad) 02/23/2002 Devil Fish (just when you thought it was safe to go back in the devil ocean) 03/02/2002 Future War #1004 03/09/2002 Hobgoblins #907, not to be confused with Gremlins 03/16/2002 Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues #1006 (and continues, and continues) 03/23/2002 Final Justice #1008 03/30/2002 Time Chasers #821 06-APR-02 Danger: Diabolik #1013 Note: John Phillip Law, the villain in DIABOLIK, also plays the blind angel in Monstervision movie Barbarella 13-APR-02 A Touch Of Satan #908, & a pinch of salt 20-APR-02 The Horrors Of Spider Island #1011, (oh the horror, the horror) 27-APR-02 Invasion Of The Neptune Men #819 04-MAY-02 Giant Spider Invasion #810, get the giant Raid 11-MAY-02 Track Of The Moon Beast #1007 (silly old moon beast) 18-MAY-02 Squirm #1012 25-MAY-02 No episode for Memorial Day, celebrate by thanking those who are kicking Taliban butt 01-JUN-02 Soultaker #1001 (and you thought Martin Sheen looks gloomy on The West Wing) 08-JUN-02 The Screaming Skull #912 15-JUN-02 Bat People #1010 (any comparison with Batman is purely wishful thinking on the filmmaker's part) 22-JUN-02 Phantom Planet #902 29-JUN-02 Hamlet #1009 (the best dubbed German tv-movie version of Shakespeare, ever) 07-SEP-02 Future War #1004 14-SEP-02 Prince Of Space #816 21-SEP-02 Invasion Of The Neptune Men #819 (at least they're not from Uranus) 28-SEP-02 Time Chasers #821 05-OCT-02 Giant Spider Invasion #810, get the giant Raid 12-OCT-02 The Horrors Of Spider Island #1011, (oh the horror, the horror) 19-OCT-02 Squirm #1012 26-OCT-02 A Touch Of Satan #908, & a pinch of salt 02-NOV-02 Hamlet #1009 (the best dubbed German tv-movie version of Shakespeare, ever) 09-NOV-02 Bat People #1010 (any comparison with Batman is purely wishful thinking on the filmmaker's part) 16-NOV-02 Soultaker #1001 (and you thought Martin Sheen looks gloomy on The West Wing) By the way, Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs also has a review of Soultaker 23-NOV-02 No episode due to international plot against movie fans 30-NOV-02 No episode due to international plot against movie fans (part 2) 7-DEC-02 Japanese attack Pearl Harbor again on cable, but still no MST-3000 movie 14-DEC-02 Yet more non-MST3000 programming 21-DEC-02 Track Of The Moon Beast #1007 28-DEC-02 Final Justice #1008 04-JAN-03 BOGGY CREEK II, AND THE LEGEND CONTINUES #1006 11-JAN-03 Space Mutiny #820 (it's got space, it's got mutiny, it's filmed in an old warehouse) 18-JAN-03 Phantom Planet #902 25-JAN-03 The Screaming Skull #912 01-FEB-03 DEVIL FISH #911 08-FEB-03 FUTURE WAR #1004 15-FEB-03 OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK #822 22-FEB-03 FINAL SACRIFICE #910 01-MAR-03 HAMLET #1009 08-MAR-03 SPACE MUTINY #820 15-MAR-03 TIME CHASERS #821 22-MAR-03 A TOUCH OF SATAN #908 29-MAR-03 BAT PEOPLE #1010 05-APR-03 SQUIRM #1012 12-APR-03 SOULTAKER #1001 19-APR-03 QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS #913 26-APR-03 THE GIRL IN THE GOLD BOOTS #1002 03-MAY-03 INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN #819 10-MAY-03 THE HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND (1011) 17-MAY-03 GIANT SPIDER INVASION (810) 24-MAY-03 MERLIN'S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS (1003) 31-MAY-03 DEVIL FISH #911 07-JUN-03 FINAL JUSTICE #1008 14-JUN-03 PRINCE OF SPACE #816 (he's a real prince) 28-JUN-03 SQUIRM #1012 (you'll never look at worms or springs the same again) 05-JUL-03 FINAL SACRIFICE #910 12-JUL-03 TRACK OF THE MOON BEAST #1007 (silly old moon beast) 19-JUL-03 SCREAMING SKULL #912 (he's guilty, guilty, really guilty!) 26-JUL-03 PHANTOM PLANET #902 02-AUG-03 Girl In The Gold Boots #1002 09-AUG-03 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank #822, Raul Julia like you've never seen him before! 16-AUG-03 BOGGY CREEK 2: And The Legend Continues #1006 23-AUG-03 Hamlet #1009 (the best dubbed German tv-movie version of Shakespeare, ever) 30-AUG-03 Quest of the Delta Knights (#913) not to be confused with the Delta Queen, a steamboat on the Mississippi River 06-SEP-03 THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION #810 13-SEP-03 SCREAMING SKULL #912 20-SEP-03 THE HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND #1011 27-SEP-03 INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN #819 04-OCT-03 MERLIN'S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS 11-OCT-03 FINAL JUSTICE 18-OCT-03 PRINCE OF SPACE 25-OCT-03 No episode due to special programming 01-NOV-03 TRACK OF THE MOON BEAST #1007 08-NOV-03 PHANTOM PLANET #902 15-NOV-03 THE GIRL IN THE GOLD BOOTS #1002 22-NOV-03 OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK #822 13-DEC-03 HAMLET #1009 20-DEC-03 QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS #913 27-DEC-03 THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION #810 03-JAN-04 HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND #1011 10-JAN-04 FINAL JUSTICE #1008 17-JAN-04 INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN #819 24-JAN-04 BOGGY CREEK II, THE LEGEND CONTINUES #1006 31-JAN-04 SCREAMING SKULL #912 No eps scheduled by SCIFI Channel after January 2004 MST-3000: The Movie (Mike Nelson's review) was on Starz and Sundance recently, see Monstervision page for scheduleEpisodes broadcast since 12/99 to mid-2002 Every episode, by title & one-line description
Every episode, in alphabetical order, all ten years
Or here for steam calliope music
Watch Swamp Women (1955) in its entirety free of charge (no host segments)
Not to be confused with episode #503 Swamp Diamonds (which included the short What To Do On A Date)
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Note: If this page does not look right, there may be a screw loose in the webmaster. You rang?
"Don't buy a cardboard belt" Mel Brooks (1974)
"You better cut the pizza into 4 pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat 6." Yogi Berra"
"Do or do not. There is no try" Yoda
Official Mystery Science Theater 3000 homepage at Scifi Channel's website (archived in 1996)
Other columns by MST3000's writers (archived from 1999)
MST3000 images including some much too big to post here
Davy Jones wants your soul at world's end (it sounded better than pieces of whatever was in our pockets)
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I think I love you
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Hitchcock had Vertigo
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