The lamest sequel parade of any horror
series begins with Sybil Danning as Queen of the Werewolves,
appearing in a kinky swinging-nekkid-werewolf scene, then
exposing her breasts 13 additional times during closing-credit
"instant replays." Most of the flick consists of Reb Brown and
Annie McEnroe walking around Czechoslovakia staring at a bunch of
tap-dancing jugglers and magicians with bad teeth and saying
things like "Do you see that dwarf staring at us? Should we
follow him?" They're trying to find out why a bimbo TV reporter
in El Lay turned into a slobbering wolf-woman right before she
died. An added bonus is Christopher Lee, as Stefan the occult
investigator, stumbling around under the full moon trying to find
Sybil's hideout so he can bust up the Werewolf Sabbath, drive a
titanium stake through her heart (silver doesn't work anymore),
and demonstrate some special effects that look like somebody took
a green Crayola and painted a gravity field around him. In their
final battle to the death, Christopher and Sybil perform Duelling
Poses for the Hollywood Wax Museum.
32 breasts, 28 of them
18 dead bodies.
32 dead werewolves.
Werewolf Sex Army.
Face-eating attack bat.
Extras from "Bachelor Party" attacked by gorilla
One speaking midget.
Additional midgets in midget parts.
Exploding midget eyes.
Gratuitous punk band.
Gratuitous puppet show.
Directed by Philippe Mora, who
somehow continued to get jobs after "The Return of Captain Invincible."
© 2000 Joe Bob Briggs. All Rights