Mood: special
Now Playing: The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack
So I'm not sure where to start. A lot of time has gone by and even more things have happened. So how do I feel? Discouraged, maybe. A little incomplete (but I'm working on that). For about the last week I have wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. This isn't exactly what I expected.
So I've realized a lot lately. I have realized that my life just wouldn't be mine without drama (even if it's only under the surface). I have realized that one thing I need most is stability, something I've never had in my life. I have realized that sometimes I project characteristic onto something as an excuse not to let it go. I have realized that I can't live without music in my life. I have realized that deep down I know why I feel the way I do. I have realized that I am afraid for the people whom I miss. I have realized that the way I was raised has affected my self esteem for life, which in turn explains why I allow people to walk all over me. I have realized that there are some things I have no control over (but I haven't accepted it). I have realized that my dreams have faded and what's left as a goal is the life most people live as they dream the dreams I used to. I have realized that my supposed gibberish makes sense to someone out there, but it's not anyone who gets to hear (read) it. I have realized that there are some things I just can't admit, even to myself.
"AND I, JACK, THE PUMPKIN KING, have grown so tired of the same old thing."
"Oh somewhere deep inside of these bones, an emptiness began to grow; there's something out there, far from my home, a longing that I've never known."
"Oh there's an empty place in my bones that calls out for something unknown."
"Does nothing for these empty tears."
"I sense there's something in the wind that feels like tragedy's at hand."
"And though I'd like to stand by him, can't shake this feeling that I have; the worst is just around the bend."
"Does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it's not to be."
"And will we ever end up together? No, I think not. It's never to become, for I am not The One."
"What have I done? What have I done? How could I be so blind? All is lost. Where was I? Spoiled all. Spoiled all. Everything's gone all wrong. What have I done? What have I done? Find a deep canyon to hide in, in a million years they'll find me only dust"
"Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?"
"My dearest friend, if you don't mind, I'd like to join you by your side, where we can gaze into the stars, and sit together, now and forever, for it is plain as anyone can see, we're simply meant to be."