So at this next show, myself and the Wolfman decided to do something a little different... in the spectacular Opening, Wolfman X came runnin' on out there, cursin' like a Mofo, and throwing weapons and lawnmowers around, and holding his bat high in the air as usual! But he looked a bit.... trimmer, maybe shorter... was he on a massive diet...? No! It was me, Psycohol dressed as Wolfman X! Acting just like that egotistical sumvb*&$%! Then WMX came out with my classic ripped up pants and headband and all, jumping around like a Lemur on crack! WMX was Psycohol, Psycohol was WMX! The Doctors of Extreme had reversed roles! It was pretty funny... and throughout the show, I called commentary as WMX and vice versa... so anyways, we had this one match pitting WMX and me against Splooge and Ninja for the Tag Titles... I mean, this was a joke right? Like they had a chance... so we basically went out there and whooped a lot of arse! The interesting thing was... I was doing WMX moves, and he was attempting Psycohol moves... I delivered Big Boots, Cliffhangers, Chokeslams, and a nice Blitzkrieg onto a Table on Splooge! WMX, err, I mean PsycoMX delivered an Acid Drop, an attempted Handspring Clothesline (quite pathetic actually, but funny and effective), the Senton Flip and a very weak looking Backflip Splash (no flip really involved)... but it was all in good fun! And we did the Demolition Drop to finish the match, this time with me holding the victim (Splooge) and Dr. X with the Elbow! So that was to be it for us in that show, until Mr. Max Delirium wanted to throw a wrench into the whole conundrum... he and his new friend Vince Demented decided to kidnap WMX's wife Shortcakes after us Doctors sort of punked out Vince... apparently Max was stupid enough to want to defend his IC Title against both of us in a 3-Way Match! How stupid would you have to be to take on both Doctors?! Anyways, WMX wasn't too thrilled and seemed to care less for his wife... poor gal, Shortcakes really is a little cutie, and I felt bad for her... I didn't understand why WMX was being so harsh on her lately... so Wolfman was not accepting the challenge, but since Max had her all tied up with a bat or something to her throat, I gave in... I admit it, I felt bad for Shortcakes, I didn't want nothin' to happen to her cute little face... so I accepted the challenge for me and Wolfman! Of course Wolfman was pissed about this but what could he do? The match was on... but seriously, this whole Max/Shortcakes deal... it was all part of a master plan... you will find out later on, hehe! So WMX and me make our entrances, and then Max... I begin brawling with Max, and WMX, who's not too particularly interested in this match kind of just sits to the side on his new motorcycle, testing it out... well that was nice of him I guess... Max finally gives WMX a Clothesline to bring him into the match! And it looks like it's gonna be a DOE arsewhoopin', when Max apparently moves out of the way of one of my Crossbodies and Wolfman takes the impact! But ya know, I always kinda thought it looked like Wolfman purposely pushed him outta the way to take the shot and give himself an excuse to beat me up... hmmm... getting mighty suspicious now of my partner... anyways, Wolfman takes me by the hair and let's Max hit me with some flying maneuver! From there on in it was every man for himself! Wolfman was going after me, I after him, and Max after both of us and vice versa, blah blah blah! It was an excellent match, despite the little dispute me and WMX happened to be going through... finally near the end, we resolved our little argument and were back on the same side... WMX had just Blitzkrieged Max across a couple barrels, and he wanted me to assist in a Spike Powerbomb for the Finish! As WMX lifted Max up, Vince Demented ran out, nailing him across the back with a Kendo Stick! Simutaneously, Max grabbed my head and Diamond Cutted me to the grass! Max then proceeded to set up a chair and leap off with a huge Flying Splash across both of us, and getting the 1,2,3!!! Max Delirium had just beaten the Doctors of Extreme single-handedly!!! That was a huge shocker and upset! I couldn't believe it!!! Redemption would have to be paid someday...
But onto the next show... my first match was against some newcomer going by the name of Redneck Willy... he looked like a nice normal lookin' guy, seemed respectful... heck maybe he was a good fighter... NOPE! My first shot to him, and he falls like a bag of potatoes! I then proceed to unmercifully beat the crap out of this offense-less inanimate wrestler! I actually feel sorry for him, looking back on it... he didn't even try to give me one move, he just took the beating like a lifeless dummy! And after a few high flying moves, and my Backflip Splash, Willy was done! Psycohol takes the easy win, and Willy lays there looking like a sad joke... so finally at the end of the Card, it was Tag title defense time! This time against a formidable adversary, Facing Execution! Sure, we've beaten them once before, but they truly are the only real Tag Team besides us that deserves to even look at the Titles... so uh... we kicked their @$$e$, yah! We beat em up and down and all over the yard! They did some beating too, but uh, the DOE kicked a lot of @$$! Word! But then WMX started like his Gauntlet of Charging moves, ya know the Clothesline, the Knee, the Forearm, and the Moose Charge... or something like that, but I noticed his moves weren't totally connecting with Face... sort of weak versions of what I'm used to seeing... heck, maybe Wolfman was joking around and being funny... when he hit his weak Moose Charge he bounced off of Face, mockingly and fell to the ground pretending to be hurt... must be joking right? Face goes for the pinfall! 1, 2, WMX'll kick out... 3!!!! Facing Execution win the Tag Titles!!! WHAT?! WHAT THE...?!?! What the hell was Wolfman X doing, purposefully losing our Tag Titles for against these 2 hacks?! Well after their stupendous victory celebration, Wolfman gets up and says how he's sick of being held down by this Tag Team thing, and wants to go back to his jolly ol' roots or soemthing! He wraps a chainm around his fist, and frickin' Clobbers me over the forehead! Then, confused I get up, only to run into a Big Boot! What was going on here?! It all comes clear now! Him beating me up in that match at the last show was no accident, he meant to do it!!! That b@$t@rd!!! But that's ok... that's all good by me... cuz I was actually planning my turn on him well before this show... so this attack actually played right into my hands! Indeed it did! He went for the Chokeslam! I countered it with a version of a Hurricanrana! I then proceeded to beat his arse down and talk smack to his face! I climbed the Table and gave him a Flying Moonsault! How'd that feel Wolfman, huh? How'd that feel?! But that wasn't all I had up my sleeves... I raised WMX to his feet for one FINAL insult! His own wife Shortcakes walked out, kicked him in the balls and gave him a Stunner! And to add to that, she walks off arm-in-arm with me! "Psycohol and Shortcakes up in a tree...." you know the rest! That's right, Psycohol had just hooked up with Wolfman's wife, who he had so neglected over the past buncha shows! In your face! Ok, I am developing an attitude here, aren't I? Well after stealing his woman, I think I deserve to ya know... it's every guys dream to steal their best friends woman, am I right or am I right? I'm right! Ahhh, a brand new dawn for the EWA, the revival of one of the greatest feuds of all-time! The Doctors of Extreme were no more!!!
So what happens next you ask? Well at the opening of the next show, Wolfman and I both brought out lists of things that pissed us off about each other, and why we thought this break-up was justified! Wolfman brought up a few points, like I was checkin' out his wife's ass all the time, and I was making him look like a fool and stuff... whatever! The facts that I brought up were completely true however! Number one, being the fact that WMX set me up that one night when Jevon and Ground Zero were inconspicuously invited over to the house and happened to throw me off the roof! It was an obvious setup! Also, when WMX gave me a German Missile, leading to myself being pinned by Disruptor in a match!!! And still more.... the fact that Wolfman has been diving off rooves and high places, trying to mimmick my style, when his area of expertise lies on the ground, not in the air! So many reasons that he had been getting under my skin! Anyways, enough with that, we would settle our score later! During this card, Wolfman and his new thuggy buddy, General Incoherence took on Suicide in a Handicap Lair Match! Now I know Wolfman X could have ended this match in no longer than 13 seconds, since Suicide is such a loser, but instead the match drags on for what seemed to be nearly 20 or 30 or 50 minutes!!! Whatever the real time, it was ridiculous! Everytime they had Suicide beat, they'd pick him back up to show off some more! Perfect example of that over inflated ego in Wolfman's head! It's why Natas hated the guy, it's why I hate the guy! So to prove a point, I get my pal Max, and say that we're gonna take on Ninja (a Jobber who ranks well above Suicide in skill) in a Lair Match, and beat him in much quicker time! And that we did, it only took a few minutes with a little fun involved... Max and myself don't aim to bore the audience with excessively long one-sided matches, what's the point in em? Anyways, that was it for Psycohol in this card....... or was it? The Main Event pitted Mr. Execution vs. the Fake Mr. Execution for the World Title in a First Blood Match! Apparently this obvious faker to Mr. Ex's identity had been running around claiming to be Mr. Ex and attacking people at random over the past few shows... I'd never confronted the guy personally, but it shoulda been an interesting match to watch! This Fake Execution fought with such poise and dsedication of a Legend! His moves looked so familiar, but it was hard to point out exactly who he coulda been... he was flipping all over, and using high flying tactics... he was on fire! He was the obvious choice to be the next champ! That is, until Wolfman X stuck his nose where it didn't belong! He ran out grabbing the Fake Ex, and pulling off his mask, he revealed him to be none other than... ME!!! That's right, I, Psycohol was Fake Ex the whole time! But my plan for grabbing the World Title had just been ruined by WMX, who revealed me to everyone, and then proceeded to hit me in the forehead with his silver chain, busting me open to lose the First Blood Match! That son of a &*%$#!!! Revenge would definitely be needed!
Next show... my idea... how about everyone comes out to Oldies Music for this one show? Sounded awesome! Not 70's crap or classic rock, I mean like early Rock n Roll or Doo Wop! The cool sh*t!!! So that was the show's theme! Most everybody hated it, especially Disruptor, and Psychotron, and General... but screw them and whatever music they like! anyways, I came out to Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen! No song back in the day was as punk or hardcore as that song, and it fit me perfectly! Meanwhile Wolfman X goes and picks some fruity ballad for himself! Ha! Shows his character perfectly! So I saw that I was set to take on this relative newcomer Psychotron, and I wanted to bring him something special... and since the name 'Psychotron' basically sounds like he came straight from my ol' PXW stomping grounds, I figured I'd show him how matches were fought in the PXW! So I made this a PXW-Rules Match! Definition of a PXW-Rules Match: Camera follows action all the time, never in a fixed position, Guest Referees that are allowed to openly interfere, Other wrestlers' interference was somewhat allowed, and just chaos and much weapon-usage in general! It was gonna be hot! Right away, we got into the weapons of the new EWA Arena! Tron hit me over the head several times with cookie sheets and what not! But soon enough, I decided to drag this match out to the front yard, where I got into my car, and pulled out a bag full of PXW weapons to everyone's surprise! Me and Psychotron brawled like never before, I took a leap off my car onto him in the street, I slammed my car door repeatedly on his head, it was anarchy! Finally in the end, my chort Max Delirium came in, nailing Tron with a weapon shot, allowing me to get the pinfall! Oh yah!!! Bringin' back the PXW!!! So onto the Main Event... something never attempted before in EWA History! And EXTREME RUMBLE!!! Like the Royal Rumble, competitors would come out at intervals, and have to be thrown not over any ropes, but off the front yard ledge to be eliminated! But there were no 2 minute intervals, basically the next person could come out as soon as they want, or wait as long as they wanted... it was an awesome match indeed! It was in the end an 18-'Man' Rumble!!! There were men, women, and children involved! From Shortcakes and Heroin, to Teddy Girl and her brother, to the regular lineup of EWA Superstars, it was yet more chaos! By the time I got out there, I believe #17 out of 18 guys, all that were left were WMX, General Incoherence, and Disruptor! Me and Dis had to sort of fend off the other two, who were in obvious collaboration! But soon Dis was thrown out and it was up to me to survive! I took my shirt off, and choked the hell outta General, dropping him with a nice neckbreaker! Eventually I threw out Mr. Inco., and it was down to me and Wolfman X, former Doctors! We had a good brawl going, until the last man entered the Rumble, conveniently my friend Max Delirium! We took it to Wolfman X like no other! But somehow he got lucky and dodged one of Max's moves, sending Max crashing off the ledge into the side of the Psyco-mobile! It was truly down to Wolfman and myself now! We brawled in a fashion that hasn't been seen since the end of EWA4, until after trying to Powerslam me, the momentum of the slight downhill slope rolled us down and right off the ledge at the same time! In the case of tie, we were both declared Co-Winners of the Rumble! Not really the outcome I wanted, but it'd hafta do!
At the following show, Wolfman X shocked the world when he came out, followed by Dr. Evil (in new hockey-mask,cloak-wearing form), General Incoherence, and the Disruptor, and announced the formation of the Doctors of Xtreme (DOX)!!! Sure I was a bit shocked that Disruptor was actually teaming with Wolfman X, but really, I knew this was all just a pathetic attempt at getting back-up to face me, cuz he was obviously afraid! So whatever, myself and Max were well enough competition to take on these 4 goons! So we were apparently challenged to a match by Wolfman... Psyco and Max vs. Wolfman and General Inco, it was to be... but General had a date or something and had to skip out, so WMX pulled in Doctor Evil to fight with him! But before that would happen, I had a little bombshell to drop of my own! Shortcakes and I came out, introducing little Lizzy M'Gizzy, who's been backstage at the last few shows... but what we hadn't told anyone, nor have I mentioned in this Autobio up til right now, cuz it's a secret no more... is that 6 years ago, me and Shortcakes conceived Lizzy behind WMX's back, and not wanting to hurt him, sent her to an orphanage for 6 years! But since no one would take her, and since me and Shorty were no back together again, we decided to take our Lizzy back! That's right, Psycohol has been a daddy all this time! And you all thought I was a virgin! Mwahahaha!!! Anyways, with this news dropped, and WMX super-pissed, the match was on! WMX was furious, and in top form! I'll give Evil credit too... Dr. Evil wasn't bad at all... of course WMX's clash with myself was classic as always! I tried to hit some sort of Corkscrew Plancha on him too... dunno if it really Corkscrewed too much, but it was good stuff! And in the end, Max got the pin over Wolfman X with some nice little roll-up! Cakewalk! But after the match, while Shorty, Lizzy, and me were celebrating, some freaky music began playing, and... and... "It's Alive! It's Aliiiiive!!!" What the hell was going on?! Out walked Frankenstein?! I mean we had the Wolfman a few shows ago, taking on Wolfman X, but now apparently since WMX and Dr. Evil had combined forces, they had now created the Frankenstein monster in their basement to take care of me! Frankenstein was basically kicking my arse, and throwing me into trees, harder than I'd ever been thrown before! After getting a slight advantage, I declared this a Texas Death Match, cuz I didn't want this guy coming back once I was through with him! That's if I could get through him! His strength was unimaginable, but somehow I threw him into Shortcakes' car, got the keys from her, and drove off! When the cameras found us, I had brought Franky to somebody's house I didn't even know, and took him to the backyard! I threw Frank into the wooden Playground, and Dropkicked him into it, knocking it to the ground! Next I tossed him into the sheet metal side of some old rusty burnt down shed! After a Stinger Splash into it, I Frank's weight knocked the whole damn thing over! I threw him under it, and somehow managed to catch his head under one of the metal bars! I then jumped onto the shed, shifting all the weight onto Frankenstein's head! And it was official, he was dead!!! I mean, it was great getting to wrestle one of my Monster Movie icons to the death, but I mean it was ridiculous! This new DOX, a mockery of a once awesome team, had to be dealt with! And deal with them I would!
But first, in an amazing turn of events, the PXW was to have its first show in over 2 years!!! The Commish decided that Psykadelik had to defend his World Title before the 4th of July or he'd be stripped! So the show was on! I couldn't wait to get back and fight some of the old guys, and be away from Wolfman X and the EWA for once... but lo and behold, after reffing the match between newcomer Snake and the Janitor, who showed up?! None other that freakin' Wolfman X in MY PXW!!! He attacked the Janitor, and Chokeslammed him! He demanded I count the pin for him! But I refused naturally, since WMX should not have even been there! But apparently the PXW Commish had moved from loyalty to ratings, and he thought WMX would bring ratings or some $#!t!!! So I would be fired if I did not make the pin! So I pinned Janitor, and WMX took his first PXW win! I was pissed, but the Commish tried to make it up to me, by putting me in a match against some newcomer for the now vacated Psycho Xtreme Title! Since Lumberjack did not show to defend it, I guess he was stripped of his Title! So I came out, not knowing who to expect... and debuting in the PXW was this goofy hobo-clown faced character, Putty Man! Putty Man?! Wha-who?! Well he seemed to have some power behind him, but when he lost his cowboy hat, for some reason he seemed to lose all his power! So obviously I tried to keep the hat off him as much as possible, cuz everytime he got it back, he'd say "It's Putty Time!" and attack me with unrelenting fury! Finally having worked our way out to the parking lot area, I got the hat far enough away from him to land a Backflip Splash and pin him! But being a sympathetic guy, I gave the due his hat back... big mistake! "It's Putty Time!" was the last thing I heard before he attacked again, and took me out with the Donkey Punch! But hey, I was the new Psycho Xtreme Champ! That's all that matters right? Later in the show, Ninja and Face even showed up from the EWA! So disgraceful I thought this was to the PXW, but what could I do?! In the Main Event, Wolfman X weaseled his way into a match between Psykadelik and Mr. Ex for the PXW World Title, making it a 3-way match! This was by the way, the first time Psykadelik and WMX had stepped into the yard together to fight! In the end though, sick of how lame the PXW was, Psykadelik just laid down and let Mr. Ex beat him! Ex was now a 4-time PXW Champion, and Wolfman was confused! WMX confronted Psykadelik about it, and they soon came out to an agreement of how much they both hated me, Psycohol! So they called me out, apparently to make some 2-way beatdown or something... well at least that's what Wolfman X thought... cuz Psyk attacked him from behind, I attacked him! It was a surprise beatdown on his EWA-lovin' arse! I hit a nice Van Damminator, and Psyk hooked on his X-Faktor Submission hold! We had just schooled Wolfman X, and at the same time, reformed the original PXW Cool Pac! We put the hand-signs to the air, and the Pac was back!
Now heading back to the EWA, of course Wolfman was gonna be pissed about the little PXW happening... but first, to kind of mock the forming of the DOX, I devised a little plan involving a couple suckers... since Max wasn't around, I got his pal Vincent Demented in on my plan, and we asked Suicide and Redneck Willy (2 of EWA's Job Squad) to come out with us, and I suggested that since the DOX formed, we would need back-up... I asked the two idiots to join us in the new DoKtors of Extreme (another play on letters in the words)! They were all excited to go, and couldn't wait... that's about the time that me and Vince attacked the two dolts! Yah it was all a set-up, we're arseholes, whatever! The point is, we don't need no friggin' back-up against the new watered-down Doctors! No way! So Wolfman comes out next, and basically challenges me to a match because of all the stuff building up, and more importantly, the PXW attack! What'd he expect when he entered my home Federation? Did he expect to make it through the show unscathed? Anyways, I accepted, and later in the show it would be Wolfman X vs. Psycohol one-on-one for the first time in nearly 3 years! But first Vince and I had to take care of Redneck and Suicide, to yet further teach them a lesson! To sum it up... we mauled their @$$e$!!! Okay, Redneck wasn't drunk today apparently, and put up a little fight... but no problem, we still took care of business! I let Vince take the pinfall for his first EWA win! And the rest of the show passed on by, Jobbers galore, blah blah blah! And then it was time for the Main Event... getting late in the evening, and Wolfman X vs. Psycohol was about to explode!!! And an explosion it was! This match had it all, but don't 'WMX vs. Psyco' matches always have it all?! It was, by the way, a Finishers Match, where you had to perform your Finisher, then pin the guy to win... so we started in the front yard, we brawled down to some local railroad tracks, where I smacked WMX's head right into the rail! We worked our way back up to the yard, where he sidewalked slammed me off the porch! We went out back... we both debuted new moves, we both put each other through chairs and barrels, and boxes! WMX hit some Powerbombs and pinned me, but since they were not Blitzkriegs, they could not be counted! Then I gave him my Moonsault off the Table, but according to Wolfman X, it had to be off the ground! WTF?! Off the ground, off the table, what's the difference?! Off the Table is only an enhancement of my regular! C'mon! And apparently my old Handspring Clothesline/Senton Flip combo didn't count as a Finisher anymore either... hmmm... well eventually I hit my Moonsault, but couldn't make the cover in time due to exhaustion... he went for his Blitzkrieg, and I Frankensteined out of it! But soon enough, out of sheer luck, he somehow managed to work in his Blitzkrieg, and slammed me down hard on a bag of sticks and leaves! And he got the pin! $#!t!!!! If it weren't for him being a baby and calling my Moonsault off the Table a non-Finisher, I'da had this match won long ago! Sumvb@$#*!!! Whatever! Redemption would be paid for this in the near future, I guaranteed it! So the show was over, or so I thought... apparently after our Main Event, Mr. Splooge showed up late, and wanted to out-do our match with a huge Fed-wide Gauntlet, where he'd take on like everybody in site until he beat someone, and gave away his Loserweight Title... well, he went up against like 16 people or so, including EWA Stars, Girls, and children in the vicinity... I happened to be one of his last 'victims'... I was tryin' to find something to eat in the fridge, when he came in, challenging me to a match... I simply knocked him down, and gave him my Senton Flip on the kitchen floor, and pinned him... and he was back on his way to finding more people to beat... and for me, the show was finally over...
Now officially, after several years of writing this Autobiography, I have finally caught up with real-time! Yup, as of writing this, I have nothing more to write on my career, and the date is July 20th, 2004! My career started back in May of 1997, and it's been frickin'... 7 Years?!?! Wow!!! A Senior in High School to where I am now, which is like nowhere... crazy! Anyways, don't think that this Autobio is done by a longshot! Cuz as the shows keep 'a comin', I'll keep 'a addin' to this here thing! Who knows where or when it will stop.... if ever! Hopefully the answer is NEVER! MWAHAHAHA!!! Alright, onto the next show.... when it happens... ok, anytime now....
Well ok, before that show happens, let's get into something personal... Ya know, I have been in Wolfman X's Wedding, I have been in Psykadelik's Wedding... and I was hoping to attend most all the Weddings I could of any of my fellow Superstars... especially Cool Paccers! So when I heard Psicon was getting married (which was over 2 years before the wedding, way preplanned), I was already there as far as I was concerned... but only a couple months before the date Psicon tells me the Wedding is gonna be packed, and I won't be able to fit... chyah! So I'm like ok, I'll just make the reception... he soon comes up with an excuse that I can't make it to that either... so I had just been blown off by my fellow Cool Paccer, when every single other PXW Star, even enemies were invited to the ceremonies! Whoah! This was serious! Seriously insulting! Apparently a Mohawk-wearing Pagan was not welcome... because Psicon's uptight religious-freaky Bride did not want me to come? Why did she not want me to come? Apparently I made some Anti-Christian comment that she did not like on one of my AIM Away Messages... also I always sported a mohawk, which I could have put down ya know for the day... and rumor has it, I was going to "make a scene" or do something to upset their "perfect day?!" What?! And her super-scary religious dad and family would never accept an Individual such as myself... they would be scared of me! I would have ruined the whole day for them! Whatever! I had no bones with her before, and no "scene" was ever intended to happen... everything coulda been just fine... but now she goes and begs my pal Psicon to make these ridiculous excuses for me not to come! So now it's on between me and her! She wanted no problems? Well now she gots them! Psycohol now intends to make a scene any time he's sees her now! She wants a scene, I'll give her a scene! Why did Psicon make these dumb excuses? Why did Psicon not nut up to his girl and tell her that his friend of a few years IS coming whether she likes it or not? Why does Psicon not stick up for himself or his friends, yet do everything this manipulating witch says? It's cuz she's got his testicles in a jar in the top cupboard of her kitchen, and he can't do a thing about it! So because of that, I miss a Wedding I really wanted to attend, where all my other pals get to have the time of their lives, while I sit around and do nothing! If I ever get married (highly unlikely), I WILL invite Psicon, but not his puppet master... no, she will NOT be invited! But as for Psicon... as for that fellow... if he was ever to step into the PXW Arena again... I would personally make him feel all the pain I felt that day, only physically instead of emotionally! And his Cool Pac status would be drastically changed! Would Psicon ever return to the PXW with the threat from myself looming over his head?! And one last comment personally for his Bride, a bit of a personal comment... "HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!" Yes I hissed at you, you prejudicial street trollop!
Ok, enough on that subject... now onto the next show! Hell I shouldn't have even been at this next show, since my back had gone out only a week earlier... and yes, my back was still in immense pain, mostly cuz of a 12 hour workday a couple days before the show! So with my back in so much pain, what was I thinking?! Well I opened the show by coming out with my pals, Max Delirium and Vincent Demented and officially gave our stable a name... Psycho-Dementia! That's right, Psycho-Dementia was the unit that was gonna bring down the DOX! WMX and Dr. Evil came out representing them... we set up a match for later which would be WMX and General (who was yet to show up) vs. myself and Max Delirium! This would be the 2nd time we'd set this match up, but last time General had to cut out for a date or something... anyways, I didn't wanna wait, so I started a bit of a brawl right there, and all of us brawled off camera, and the flames were lit! So in my warm-up match for the Main Event, I was to take on DOX'er Dr. Evil for the first time! And hell, with my back nearly out, I had to make this quick... I probably shouldn't have even had this warm-up! But I went through with it in pain, and it wasn't long before Evil took control, and heck, he even hooked on his finisher, the Dragon Sleeper early, which wrenched my back like a Motha'! But using all the strength I had in me, despite all the pain, I somehow flipped myself backwards over him, reversing the Dragon Sleeper, and made him tap out to his own move!!! Mwahahaha!!! Luckily it wasn't a long match, so I had some left in me still for later! WMX had a good match with my pal Max, as I was being beaten unmercifully on the sidelines by my daughter Lizzy M'Gizzy, who was scratching me to hell with her super-sharp talons of death! Unfortunately WMX took that match, which pissed me off! Eventually though, we made it to the Main Event, but due to an elbow injury in his match with Wolfman, Max couldn't make it to be my partner, so it was me and Vince vs. WMX and General! I told Vince I'd probably let him take most of the action since my back was a mess... I did get in a couple times, but the first time in, where I thoroughly whomped on WMX, my back got a little bit thrown outta whack, so i tagged Vince back in... once tagged in again, WMX went to work on my back with a chair! Frickin' harsh dudes! Hurt like hell! Eventually I got out to rest again... in the end though, WMX hooked a Figure Four Leglock on Vince, and before I could break it, General kicked me out of the way, and my back was too sore to get back up quick enough, and Wolfman pinned Vince while still in the Figure Four! Sucks, and I blame myself partially for being so crippled that day! If I were in top condition, the results would have been different! After the match, Wolfman X chokeslammed me and Vince to add further insult to injury, and then picked up my woman Shortcakes and ran off with her!!! What?! I had fairly stolen her from him, he can't go stealing her back now! It's not fair! And it was against her will! Redemption would have to be paid!!! But first, my back would have to be healed!
But unfortunately my back did not agree with that... my back just felt like being out of commission for a full month, which gave me plenty of time to enjoy the Athens Olympics as I laid incapacitated at home, but gave me no motivation towards wrestling... but obviously the guys couldn't go with that excuse, they were gonna hold a show anyways... Wrestlecraze 2004! We hadn't had a Wrestlecraze since EWA2, and now it would be an every-ten-shows sorta deal... so a Gauntlet was set up where the winner would be the new EWA World Champ... apparently Mr. Ex pulled his groin or something and had to forfeit his Title... well I decided to go anyways, despite the pain... and the car ride over put me in more pain yet... I knew I wasn't gonna wrestle, so I just decided to lay there and do commentary the whole show... at the end of the tourney, it ended up being Wolfman X vs. fellow-DOX'er, the Disruptor! Before that match though, WMX brought out my Shortcakes and claimed he got her back and that she never liked or did anything with me! What vagrant claims these were! Me and Shortcakes were UP ALL NIGHT so many nights I tell ya!!! And he claims all the things I was saying were false! Sheesh! Well.. WMX beat the Disruptor, in what looked like his 8th World Title win, but there was a mystery man yet to come out who drew the final spot before the gauntlet... in pain, I came out to announce him... but when the music began, it all came clear to WMX that the mystery man was none other than ME! He turned him around, and received a solid chair shot over the cranium! I put my foot on his chest and took the easy victory! Psycohol, your new EWA World Champion! 6-Time Champ now! Of course if I had not used that underhanded tactic, and we made this a fair match, I wouldn't have lasted 10 seconds with my back out the way it was... but by using any means necessary, I took the win! And after I believe a couple years since the last time, I was finally EWA Champion once again!
Weeks later, as my back was almost fully recovered (FINALLY), we held the next card... I came out, and requested my first opponent be that black-wannabee, rap-wannabee General Incoherence... I was sick and tired of his $#&*!!! Wolfman X came out though and claimed that I was not really Lizzy M'Gizzy's father, and that Shortcakes was not her mom! I argued the point very well, but in the end he got me! Ok... it's true! Everything I had previously said about me and Shorty being Lizzy's parents was false... it was just a ruse to anger WMX further! She's really another one of Redn.. I mean Kevin James' kids (Redneck Willy had changed his name to Kevin James)... and ok I admit I did nothing nasty with Shortcakes, although I coulda if I wanted... but she had been with her husband WMX, and I wanted none of that nasty sl#t, ugh! Using her is what I was doing to get my revenge on the Wolfman, but I would not truly sink to the level of sleeping with... uck, let's get off that topic! UGH! So to my match with General... before the match, I made the stip that if I win, I get to choose a stip for his 1st match in the IC Tourney later... the IC Tourney which was coincidentally set up by the new Commish Putty Man... or so he says he was appointed Commish... although we had our doubts... anyways, me vs. General... my back was definitely still on the fritz, but not so bad that I couldn't kick a lot of arse at the same time! We had an awesome match, in our first-ever one-on-one bout! But in the end I managed to deliver a hot Acid Drop, sending him facefirst onto the butt-end of the barrel! And I pinned his arse, and told him in his 1st match of that tourney, the winner would have to name a white country singer before making any pinfall! Haha! And knowing how he loves rap and hates anything white, I knew it would be impossible for him to win! Contrary to mine and everyone else's beliefs though, he excelled in the knowledge of white country singers! And he went on to win the IC Title tourney! Dammit!
So up at the next show... the Universal Horror Show, properly named, since Frankenstein and Wolfman (not X) made appearances... I was brought out, and Wolfman X brings out this mystery opponent for me... hmmm, who could it be?! It ended up being who I least expected! Someone... or something actually that I KILLED!!! It was... the Gorilla!!!! But I killed it, how could it be?! Well, actually, it was the Gorilla II... Dr. Evil made a 2nd version, and now I was going to hafta face it... and as ya know, the first Gorilla sucked and couldn't fight an Armadillo if it tried... this one was a savage beast! It chased me down, it bit me, it picked my lice, it was insane! It even kicked out of my Standing Moonsault Finisher, with a chair on it!!! What did I hafta do to beat it?! Well to tell ya the truth, I got lucky with a rollup pinfall when it was trying to give me some move! Anyways, Psycohol prevailed! Later on in the show though, it was the rematch... Wolfman X vs. Psycohol! WMX wanted revenge apparently for that quick win I got a few shows back to win the Title! Well this was his chance! Anarchy Rules Match... the match that Natas invented back in the Renegade Shows! 5 different types of Falls, that can happen in any order! Lets see, we had the Tree Match in there, the Strap Match, the Break-a-printer-over-the-other-guy Match, a Off-the-Table-Legdrop Match, and my personal invention, the Superman Match(where yu had to crawl through the backseats of my car and come out the other side to win)! Let's see, there was lots of swinging around on the strap, dog leash, or whatever it was... also much fun out front, with my car, seein' who could get through it first and all... anyways, I took the Superman Match, just beating out WMX to take the 1st Fall... I also took the 2nd fall, hittinmg my scissor-legdrop off the table after his missed his Wolfman Legdrop! WMX then got lucky and beat me in the strap match, and quickly and brutally smashed the printer with a baseball bat, which was on me! Ouch, it was 2-2! I was desperate... we brawled, we fought, it was a helluva match! Finally, with the belt still up in the Tree(remember WMX has never won a Tree Match{against each other}, and I have never lost one) WMX wanted to finish me off... he set me up for the Blitzkrieg, but lucky for me, I was thinking at that very moment, and as he lifted me over his head, to my luck, the belt in the Tree was just above me! Big mistake WMX! I grabbed the belt and got slammed to the ground! I won! WMX to this day still claims that I cheated, and it wasn't fair! Whatever! If he had Blitzkrieged me 5 feet to the left, maybe he coulda won... but he's an idiot... always has been! Psycohol was still your EWA World Champion!
Now the next show we had was up at this kid's barn... a kid from Staten Island, calling himself Lil' Psycho... he was at the last show, and apparently a Backyard Wrestling Vet from downstate, invited us up to his barn to fight on matresses instead of the usual hard ground! What? Take the hardcore out of the EWA?! I mean we've seen his videos, and they were very good, but all done on matresses... we were used to ECW-style hardcore brawls, we didn't like to be restricted to a small area, but we said "heck, let's give it a shot!" Somehow Lil Psycho got a Title Shot at me, althought he was a newbie here, but hell, I was gonna show him how tough us EWA'ers were, although WMX and the returning Drixon did that already at the previous show! So me and Psycho went at it on his matresses! Yay, bouncy! Oh yah much fun indeed! He had some awesome moves, I'll admit, but the awkwardness of sticking to one area wasn't workin' for me! But he did in the end say it was a good match, proving that Psycohol can adapt to most any circumstance very well! And he was critical of a lot of our yard wrestling... wasn't good enough for him, not enough big super-duper moves, too much brawling... even us who did a lot of wrestlign moves, seemed not to be up to his standard apparently... well we were, I'll tell ya that, let his boys try what we do... anyone can bounce around on cusions, but not everyone can bounce around on hard ground for very long... anyways, I successfully defended my Title by pinning him after my Moonsault! The inner barn setting was kinda cool, but still not the same... at the end of the show, I was to defend my Title again! Against the returning Mr. Execution this time, who thought he'd been robbed of his Title when he was out on injury! So I said bring it on! We brawled all around outside the barn, into a ditch, over to some metal fences, and back into the barn, where I finished off Ex, proving myself to be the true champ! Who's next?! Next>>>
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