So where the hell are we?! Oh yeah... the WWF after 50+ years in the biz had just collapsed solely because of me... that's right... but before I was to leave town, I was to wrestle 2 more EWA Shows... we were at 48 Shows in the EWA's History, and 2 more would make 50! So we made it a point to get that 50th Show in before I left... so basically Show #49, I had stayed over night at WMX's one night, so we could get a quick show in the next morning... well interesting enough, EWA had it's first night match, as Walmart Joe and Suicide began brawling inside WMX's apartment, and eventually outside, where Walmart Joe absolutely decimated the Ninja's equally idiotic cousin! After Joe took the win, we all went inside to have a laugh, leaving Suicide laying there... well the next morning, the first match was to be myself versus... well, Suicide! And guess frickin' what?! He was still laying there in the exact position we left him in the evening before! Joe had pummeled him so bad, he couldn't even get up, not to mention he's a bit overweight... but that's beside the point! I walked over laughing, gave him a couple boot sandwiches, and Backflip Splashes his arse to Hell for the easy victory... pathetic... simply pathetic... I was disapointed on how easy this was... so I decided to defend my Title later that day to prove my championship value! So like a match later, I was up against the newcomer Disruptor, with my Title on the line! He was a big guy too, but trained in the arts of many a weapon I tells ye... but I was here to show him that this yard was not about how many weapons ya got, but how good you can wrestle! So we didn't have a huge match or anything, but in the end I proved skill over hardcore, finishing 'Ruptor with a Frog Splash! And that was tiny show #49...
So all I had left to do was EWA Show #50 right...? Wrong! Psykadelik wanted to have ONE MORE PXW Show before I left too! This was great! A Farewell to the PXW, the house that I built... the place that really cemented my career... I was happy to do this show... but ya know, I like to arrive fashionably late too... that's my style sometimes... but before I even got there, some damn crazy schist went down! Mr. Ex defeated Psykadelik fairly for the PXW World Title, in yet another Mr. Ex-upset! Crazy! But not as crazy as what happened next! The Commish immediately granted Mr. Splooge a World Title shot, for who knows what reasons, and with the help of the ref, Mr. Regular Everyday Man, Splooge defeated Execution, becoming the new PXW World Champ!!! Splooge a World Champ?! It was implausible! It was ridiculous! I had arrived a moment too late... and seeing this, I needed to pay back that idiot ref, Everyday Man! So after the next match, where he had defeated Janitor, I attacked that sumvb**** from behind in an impromptu match, because this Splooge victory upset me... not to mention I was just Bad@$$... and that I had never faced Everyday Man before... but ya know... I took him out, Moonsaulted his arse, and took the easy win... hehe! I rule! So anyways, in the next match, Psykadelik took back the World Title from Splooge... I ain't a fan of Psyk, but hell, I didn't wanna see Splooge drag down the EWA, so I was somewhat relieved... but 3 Title changes in one show? Is that a new record?! Anyways, Psyk confronted me backstage, asking me for one final match before I left... no Titles on the line, since I was banned by the Commish to any World Title shots(damn him!), but I agreed... Psycohol and Psykadelik one last time! Hell, what can I say? I was an excellent match! Possibly the best of our careers! We hit each of our finishers, and each kicked out! It was insane! But after both crashing through a pile of cardboard boxes, and being counted down for the ten, it was all over! Amazingly enough, we even found the decency to shake hands... I was surely thinking 'attack him!' in my head, but for some reason I held back... just in case we were not to meet in the yard again... respect was shown, and I had said goodbye to the PXW... now there was one more objective on my agenda... the EWA's 50th Anniversary!
And here we were... the EWA's 50th Show! Quite an extravaganza it was, with a mix of the old and the new Superstars of the EWA! Oldies making their short-term returns include "Notorious" Jevon Hill, Drixon Webb, Kamilian, and an appearance by Drakon... I indeed came out near the beginning of the show and announced my RETIREMENT from the EWA! That's right, years of Psyco-rocking-awesomeness in the EWA, and I was to call it quits here and now, because of my planned move downstate... who knew if I'd ever be back... but I wanted one last Title defense before I'd give up my Title... So it was me and Face one on one! We had a good match as always, and also as always, I pulled out the victory and made sure that I went out Champion! Then after forfeiting my Title due to retirement, Wolfman X claimed that the first man to pin Disruptor would be the new Champion! Well... there was a huge brawl amongst many superstars, including Kamilian, Fenix, White Devil, Drixon Webb, and of course Disruptor... the winner was the one to... pin Disruptor! And I was ref... it was chaos, and pure sloppiness... kind of a low point in the card... and in the end, Disruptor ran away, and nobody became the new Champ... so it would hafta be the Main Event, which I happened to be in... my last EWA Match ever... or so I'd have thought at the time... the whole show, we were hinting at tensions between Jevon and Wolfman X, but we fooled them all, as Jevon was actually on our side the whole time! And WMX was coming out of retirement for this one last match! Jevon and WMX, formerly the Titans, along with myself, who with WMX makes up the DOE! What a combo... and who were we to fight in EWA's 1st ever 6-Man Tag Match?! Newbies like Fenix, White Devil, and of course the Disruptor... whoever pinned Ruptor would be the new champ! That theoretically meant that I could become champion again after having just forfeited it... which would be asinine, since I would just forfeit it again! Hell WMX is officially retired, and would not be able to defend it if he won it... also asinine... and Jevon, he was semi-retired too... basically if any of us three won that Championship it would basically be a worthless reign, actually a dumb idea in the first place, but ah well, I don't make all the decisions round here... so we had an excellent Tag Match, and of course us "Legends" whomped the hell out of the Rooks! First down was White Devil who took a couple Double Chokeslams from Jevon and the Wolfman! Next to fall was Fenix at my hands, following a huge Frog Splash from WMX's back steps! Hell that was after we threw Disruptor off the Garage Roof! Ha that was a classic moment! Me and Jevon set a stack of boxes on fire as WMX pushed Disruptor off the roof into the flaming heap of wreckage! And the funniest part was after Ruptor rolled off to safety... the boxes didn't stop burning! The flames kept rising, getting bigger and bigger! Being that it was Wolfman's yard, he began panicking from the garage roof, screaming for us to put it out! But I couldn't get the hose to work! Oh man, it was funny! Anyways, Jevon I believe finally got that hose going, and we got the blaze out... and then it was back to business! WMX leapt off the roof, tackling Disruptor to the ground and so on! Eventually Wolfman had powerbombed Fenix off a tool chest onto some boxes, and that's where my Frog Splash and the pin came in... sorry for the time jumping... anyways... it was just the already beaten and bruised Disruptor left! Whoever beat him would be the new and quite Inane Paper Champion of the EWA! So I mean, I didn't want that honor, so I wasn't gonna make the pin, it'd have been if I never gave it up, it woulda been stupid... so I let WMX take the glory, with a huge Blitzkrieg on the near-300 pounder! WMX took the win, and his 7th EWA World Title! Granted he did dedicate it to his two Grandfathers who had passed away, a very noble cause, and the fact that he had been my fellow Doctor of Extreme for quite awhile... so I was cool with it... but seriously, he never defended it once, nor did we have an EWA Show for awhile after that... it was basically a worthless Title reign... he might as well have stayed at being a 6-time Champ... but History is History and that can't be changed... sorry for the criticism WMX, nothing personal, just the truth! Hehe!!!
So that was the end! EWA Show 50... it had come and gone, and only a couple days later I was in my car and off to Port Chester, down near the NYC! It was sad leaving all this behind upstate, but really I wasn't leaving anything behind, because as I noticed, all activity had completely come to a halt after I left! And in fact it was not only I who had left, but also two of my pals that have traveled with me everywhere... Mr. Execution, and Mr. Splooge! Yup, I have no clue where they went, but I gave 'em a ride as far as I was going... and they got out, grabbed their stuff, and headed down towards the city as far as I knew... so basically with us three missing from the wrestling scene, how could anyone continue? Natas and Drake had no intention of carrying on without us... the WWF would have been terrible with that diminished of a roster! The PXW had almost always depended on myself being there to get the guys motivated to wrestle... and now being gone, along with two of their other stars, there was no chance of them even thinking about wrestling... and with the EWA... I believe they were originally planning on going on, but with the loss of Walmart Joe, due to dislocating his thumb in a match with Mr. Ex in Show 50... and also a general loss of interest by a couple of the other new guys, it was over! I personally take responsibility for all their downfalls! Psycohol had single-handedly destroyed all backyard wrestling in the Norwich/Oneonta area! Hells yah! I kick arse!
So there I was... down in the PC, starting a new life... I only really planned to stay for the summer ya know... but I'd see... I basically replaced my usual summer wrestling with Ultimate Frisbee with the PC Crew! And I love those guys... the Port Chester Crew that I hung out with down there were the most real bunch of guys I knew! They weren't living fake lives in the images of what they see on TV... they were real, and probably the coolest buncha dudes I've ever known, and I miss 'em when I'm not there... so I had looked for a job all summer... down in the suburbs of New York Freakin' City... and ya know, you'da thunk you'd get called back by someone down there, being how big it is... but nada! I couldn't find a damn job in the big city!!! Pathetic! Well it's not really my fault... it's more George W. Bush's fault for being a crappy President and not being able to provide jobs for anyone... so as the unemployment rate rose, I just chilled back at my friend's place and wasted the summer away... but playing Soccer, Frisbee, Badminton, and Basketball, among other atheletic things with the Crew, I kept in quite good shape, and had my share of fun... but by mid-August I had to head back upstate! So there I was... back in good ol' Norwich, NY once again! And I was kinda hopin' that there would be wrestling waiting for me... but unfortunately there was not!
The only news of wrestling at all was a couple Guestbook entrys on WMX's website, between myself and Jevon! He threw out an open challenge to anyone for a wrestling match! Lucky as I was, I happened to be the first to see his post, and responded accordingly, with a statement that I accepted! This was actually back in the summer while I was downstate, when this originally happened... but even after I returned, the match kept getting delayed... Jevon couldn't get his arse up here to wrestle! I was ready and willing all the time, but without any transportation, he had no way to get up here... so I just sat on my arse and waited and waited... someday this match would hafta happen! Also, I'll just mention it briefly, but the Disruptor and a couple of the New Generationers wanted to start their own Fed, the EWF or something... rumors were abound, it looked like it was well under way to becoming a reality... but in the end, it never happened! So one opportunity for myself shot down! But back to the Jevon thing... we finally found a date that could work for us both... the day after Thanksgiving... my last wrestling match was like June 3rd, and now it was late November... I was definitely to be a bit rusty... but this is what I had been craving for so many months... to WRESTLE!!!
So I was all stuffed from a nice Thanksgiving Dinner the night before, and I drive out to WMX's place in Oneonta... Apparently it was to be myself vs. "Notorious" Jevon Hill! It's been awhile since I last fought the guy... but being that he defeated me for the EWA World Title in our last contest, it was time for revenge! And heck after the big EWA #50 Show, me and Wolfman decided we'd like to keep the EWA going even longer, so this officially became EWA #51: Thanksgiving Thrashing! Oh yeah... didn't Psycohol retire from the EWA? Yes I did... but ummm, it totally slipped my mind this day, and I accidentally fought an EWA Match again... I only thought about this after the show... so oh well, it was a special one-time guest return for Psycohol, right...? Ok, so Wolfman X was a bit undecided who to root for, being that he was a Doctor with me and a Titan with Jevon... and "Notorious" Jevon was no longer "Notorious," but now the "Wrestling Expert" Jevon Hill... sheesh, whatever... so there I go out into that freezing cold snow, anticipating a good match after several months tension to build on, and then Jevon appears to not be showing up... I'm looking around and around... no Jevon... then all of a sudden from behind he slams me with a hard Spear! He took the cover, and I was caught so off guard that he got the 1,2,3 to pin me! WHAT?! It's not that easy to beat Psycohol!!! NOBODY has EVER pinned Psycohol that QUICKLY!!! Impossible!!! So I challenged him to a rematch, since that one was basically a load of BS! A little skit goes by with Wolfman X, and Splooge and Mr. Ex who are asking to get back in... oh yah, did I mention that Wolfman X denounced his ownership of the EWA at this show, admitting it was getting in the way of certain things and not good for the business... so he was basically a Psycohol bodyguard for the time being... but now onto the rematch... Psycohol vs. "Wrestling Expert" Jevon Hill! This time it was fair, no cheap shots... surprisingly the match stayed quite low to the ground too... not too many power moves or high flying moves... possibly because this was in Wolfman X's brand-new backyard to his brand new house, and there was nothing really to jump off of... no good ol' picnic tables like we were used to... but we dealt with it... me and Jevon had a decent technicalish match, with a few reversals and submissions here and there... I tried to get him up for his own Finisher, the "Notorious Edge", but lucky for him he slipped out... in the end we worked our way out front, and exhausted from the extreme cold and our yard-rust, we battled it down to the last bit of energy we had! I finally hit a Splash off WMX's new porch to finish Jevon off and show him who the real winner was! No cheap moves there buddy, just good ol' fashion wrestling... and I won!!! Hahahaha!!! I rule!!! Jevon even tried to shake hands with me after the match or something, but I flat-out refused! Like I'd waste my body heat on that piece of trash! So that was that! Would it lead into a whole new Revolution of the EWA? No... but it was fun... so I sat around the rest of the winter... hum-dee-dum-dum... nothin'...
Oh but there was that small thing... apparently the PXW was having a 'Memory Show' of sorts... PXW's Top 25 Moments, hosted by the gay lovers as I like to call them, the Commissioner and private eye ace reporter, Richard Head... two total dorks... totally drag down the ratings I tell ya! So they invited me to stop by which I did in fact... yah I made a few of the moments, and actually came out and commented on the time I kicked PsychoRuff in the mouth... ah the good times... but seriously, I wasn't in the #1 moment?! What were they thinking when they did not choose the man who built PXW to lead the way??? Ah well... darn that Blob for totally powerbombing Psicon and ruining my '#1 Moment' chances! So anyways, as I said before, there was no wrestling for the rest of the winter... just sittin' around and being bored... until early that Spring, I surprisingly got a call from none other than Natas...
Yup, none other than Natas... the guy who was having that personal feud with my buddy Wolfman X... I don't remember if they had things patched up yet or not at this point, but even so, that personal feud will be underlying itself underneath their skins forever I'll tell ya... anyways, Natas was the least likely person I expected to hear from regarding wrestling... he seemd to have lost interest back near the end of the WWF... but now almost a year later, he came by saying he had some friends in his new town that wanted to see us wrestle, and a warm-up match to get us back into wrestling-mode couldn't hurt... so the plan was to get back into the groove so we could eventually show his friends all that crazy sh** we do! I was up for that! So we held a non-Federational Exhibition Match that April... and despite the yard-rust that we both showed, it was a very decent match, as is always between us two... quite technical too... many submissions, Sharpshooter reversals, the real Walls of Jericho... and what do I mean by 'real'? I mean the Walls, the way Jericho used to do it, when his opponent was almost vertical, not into a basic Boston Crab which it seems to be now, yet they still call it that... yah so I put that on Natas... and how would the match end? Natas catching me off-guard with the typical boot to the stomach and Stunner... hmmm, I feel a bit ashamed to still lose to this same finisher combo that he has beaten me with so many times before... yes, quite ashamed... if I were to ever meet him again, I would make sure this would not happen, because it's too damn predictable now... sure I lost, but at least I haven't lost my originality(Sticking my tongue out at Natas)! And what came of this Exhibition Match? Nada! No more matches, no revived WWF, no shows for Natas' friends, and only a couple rare sightings of Natas in the long time to follow... what happened to him after this? Not many know, but to us, his original group of friends til the end, Natas seemed to want nothing more than to get away from us and pretend we never existed... he stopped hangin' out with long-time friend Drakon, stopped talking with Wolfman X, and I myself hadn't heard from him in a long long time... so is this the end of the stories of Natas in my Autobiography? Maybe... maybe not... guess we'll hafta see if he pops back up again later or not, huh?
So after the match with Natas, it was getting to be summertime! High time for wrestling round these parts! I was set to go, and hoping Wolfman would get some of his friends together or maybe the PXW would make a short return or something... but what I got was a whole pot o' nothing! Now last summer I had a reason not to wrestle... I was away... this summer, I was all intending to wrestle my heart out... but nobody else was... so whereas last summer I replaced wrestling with Ultimate Frisbee, obviously I had to find something to replace it this summer too... and that replacement sport was local-Lake-swimmin'! Yeah, redneck all the way! Me and other friends would go up to nearby lakes, swim out to those floaty rafts and do flips and twists, and all kinds of aerial maneuvers off them! So I began to learn my Corkscrew Planchas, etc., etc.... hell, we started in April or May I'd say, and the water was freakin' colder than a witch's arsehole! Anyways, this carried on throughout the summer, until about mid- August... that's when I got the phonecall from Wolfman X to meet me at the old EWA Arena again for something BIG! I was there! What could it be?! Wrestling I hoped!!!
And wrestling it was Indeedo! At the ol' EWA Arena where everything used to happen, to everyone's surprise, Wolfman X officially denounced his retirement and announced his Full-Time Return to the sport! That's right! Wolfman X would no longer be the owner, or just some thug who beats people up when he feels like it... he was back to what he left behind almost exactly 2 years ago... Wrestling! And Hell, even though you can't really consider my "retirement" from the EWA a true retirement at all, the news of my fellow Doctor making his return prompted me to do the same! I announced my official end of EWA Retirement and was set to make my return too! The Doctors of Extreme were SO going to dominate this Fed!!! So we set up a couple Title Matches to give the EWA back it's champions... and of course we were setting the Doctors up for both major Titles... Wolfman X fought Mr. Execution for the IC Championship! But apparently my pal Wolfman didn't want such a lowly belt, and basically forfeited the match to Ex, walking off after giving him a beating and the Title... I myself had to face Face! Easy potatoes for me... Face ain't nobody! So I was basically destroying Face as usual, when out of nowhere, "Wrestling Expert" Jevon Hill runs out, clubbing me over the head a few times, and finally Rock Bottoming me onto a steel chair! Then he threw Face on top of me, and in one of the biggest upsets of all time, Face defeated me for his first-ever EWA World Title reign! Now that was an atrocity! Face a World Champion?! Ridiculous! And someday I swear it, Jevon would pay for this! Thinks he can run in and screw up my matches! Some nerve! So that show basically came out all wrong... Mr. Ex and Face as the Champs, when neither should have won... and heck, even Ninja let Splooge pin him earlier on to purposely take the Loserweight Title... so the outcome of every match here was opposite of what it should have been... the whole show was a freakin' farce!!!
A couple days after this show, I was to attend old PXW Alumni, Psykadelik’s wedding! And yes, as with Wolfman X’s a couple years back, I’d be playing ‘Usher’ again… so we had several PXW greats at this wedding, including myself, Lumberjack, Psicon, Mr. Regular Everyday Man, and Robert Lane! PsychoRuff and Hunter also showed up, and I can swear I saw Janitor, Mr. Splooge, and Mr. Execution somewhere! Anyways, we busted out some hot moves on the dance floor to Vanilla Ice and had a pretty good time… did I mention that Psyk’s bride was none other than Blond Devil Girl, who debuted at the last PXW Show? Crazy! But after all the fun of this day, it was back to the grind of the EWA…
And now with Wolfman X's return, this EWA was going to be a monthly thing basically... ya know, try to squeeze out one show a month if possible and keep it going... WMX made it clear that he wanted no more "Revolutions" in the EWA, just the EWA now... but we couldn't do much with just me, Wolfman X, and a bunch of good-for-nothin' Jobbah's. We had to recruit... and for our next show we got the return of the Disruptor and unfortunately another jobber, Suicide... so that added a bit, but we still needed more... and unexpectadely another guy did show up... completely new to the EWA... and he was rumored to be the nephew of none other than WWF/WCW's Crush/Brian Adams! His name... Max Delirium! He didn't talk too much, actually not at all... and he was not quite as big as his so-called Uncle Crush, but he seemed to have definite skills in an "RVD-esque" style... trying to outdo me huh?! I think not!
So anyways, the second show of the now 'ongoing EWA' was underway! Ya know I get there the night before and figure on sleeping over at Wolfman's house and being ready to wrestle with a good night's rest, instead of having to drive 45 minutes then wrestle... but who takes advantage of my sleeping over, but the Ninja! The little b@$t@rd purposely lost to Splooge at the last show so he could defeat somebody of awesome standards to give the Loserweight Title to... and coming in early in the morning, and seeing me laying on the couch asleep, he decided to wake up Shortcakes and exercise the Loserweight 24/7 clause!!! He gently laid his arm on top of me while I was a-Frickin'-sleep and pinned me on that couch like a no-good frickin' pansy-arse coward, and left me with the Loserweight Title! Me! Psycohol! Legend of all Legends, now the Loserweight Champion?!?! IMPOSSIBLE!!! Ninja would PAY!!! But of course I didn't know what had happened yet... I woke up, figuring he just left his Title laying around or something, not realizing it was now mine... and in the opening of the show when he showed me the video of what happened, I blew a damn gasket, and me and the Wolfman beat Ninja's arse down! And I coulda pinned him right there, giving him his Title back, but I had better plans for it, so I held off... anyways, out came Max Delirium, debuting by attacking myself and Wolfman... not a good idea... you don't mess with the Doctors, you know that! But he would be dealt with in due time too... so in the Main Event, we decided to have EWA's first-ever regular 2-on-2 Tag Team Match! Amazing huh? Over 5 years of EWA, and never a Tag Team Match? So it was the Doctors of Extreme vs. Mr. Execution and Face(later known as 'Facing Execution')! It was a Slobberknocker indeed! Ex and Face put on a decent show though... a decent show of getting their arses kicked!!! Bwahaha!!! But seriously, I had one of the craziest hardcore moments in this match! Not Hardcore as in jumping off a roof Hardcore, but Hardcore as in being a Hardcore Motherf***er, baby! That's right, as I delivered a hot Scissorkick Legdrop over Mr. Ex's head, my right hand came down on a rusty piece of metal that happened to be randomly laying there in the yard... I think it was the end of a table-leg from which WMX broke earlier... and it was sharp! It tore a huge gushing-red gash into my palm and blood was squirting everywhere... I tagged in WMX and told him I'd be right back! So as he took care of business, I sealed the deal that I am in fact Hardcore to the Core! I ran inside, grabbed a tissue, threw it over the gash, and then grabbed a roll of Duct Tape and wrapped it several times around my hand, cutting off all circulation! Then I headed back out and finished the match with a Duct Taped-up hand! That's the meaning of Hardcore right there boys! That's it! So we finished up the match, I think finally after WMX Gorilla Press-dropping myself onto Mr. Execution... Doctors of Extreme were victorious! And the show was over! So I went home, still Ducted up, and never went to the hospital for the stitches they most likely would have recommended... and had a huge bandage around my hand for like the next 3 weeks or so... I also renewed my Tetanis Shot shortly thereafter too, not knowing how long it had been since my last one... and I frickin' hate shots! Afraid to death of needles, but what must be done will be done... and my hand had time to heal for the next show, which was about a month later...
So the next show up in line was Columbus Day Crashtacular, appropriately named by myself, cuz I always got all the coolest ideas! Ya know... gotta pamper my ego hear and there... what little of it there is... anyways, I was only really set up for one match that day... against Face! And since he beat me and took the World Title a couple shows back, this was my shot at Revenge!!! No... not revenge... not vengence..... more like PUNISHMENT!!! Ok, I'm stealing that from the Punisher... so it was like Revenge, and since I had newly 'won' this Loserweight Title from that no-talent hack the Ninja, I decided that this match would not be for Face's World Title, but instead for my Loserweight Title! So when I defeated him, he would take the Loserweight Title and be the first and hopefully last ever man to hold both that and the Worls Title simutaneously! So I went in there, and we had a badass match of course! And of course Vengeance was served! You know what they say... Revenge is a dish served best cold... ok I keep taking movie quotes, so sue me that I'm a geek! So yah, I beat Face's arse that day, and that was about it...... oh yah, the end of the show... after Max Delirium had his happy little victory over Mr. Execution for the IC Title, Wolfman and I decided to go deliver him a congratulatory visit, in KICKING HIS @$$!!!!!!! For jumping out and attacking us at the last show, we about owed him this... and we even gave him his good ol' Uncle Crush's ol' Demolition Finisher, the Demolition Drop! Oh yah!!! And the show was to be over, until wait what's this... some girl walks out, calling herself Heroin, and she's apparently an old childhood friend of my buddy WMX's... so they talk, catching up on the good times of growing up in the NYC, etc., etc.... meanwhile I sneak up behind the gal and BAM! And clip her knee, her head hits the ground so hard she get's a concussion of sorts! Then me and WMX proceed to whoop on her ass, showing that we ain't afraid to beat up on girls, OH NO!!! It was good, a good good message to send out there! DO NOT **** with the Doctors of Extreme!!!! Ahhh good times... good times...
So anyways, next show... I decided to go out there and dedicate my match(es) to my pal Wolfman X! Since he has ran so many Jobber Gauntlets in his day, I decided I'd run one just for him and win it in his honor! This would be Thanksgiving Thrashing II by the way... may be a yearly thing? And I had my freakin' brand new Mohawk up today boys!!! Oh yah, it was hot!!! So I decided to start off with the worst, the New Loserweight Champion, who had just lost it to Face minutes earlier, Suicide!!! So let's see, I don't remember much from this bout, obviously meaning it was short and easy... so I destroyed Suicide, then up next I had Mr. Splooge I believe, who I also demolished... hit him with his own Savate Kick I did, then Backflip Splashing him inside a barrel! Then I took on the newcomer, soon to be retired and DEAD, 187! I don't remember much here either... so I must have absolutely destroyed 187... and finally in my last match of the Gauntlet, it was time to face the King of All Jobbers, the Ninja! And I had revenge to get on this Bugger too, for him pinning me as I was sleeping a couple shows ago, giving me the Loserweight Championship... he had it coming!!! But little did I realize this guy had improved so much over like the last year! He always sucked, about as bad as Splooge...... but funny thing is, he was bringin' skill to the backyard this time! He caught me with some armdrags and technical stuff I believe... but that just pissed me off! I soon brought the match out front, and used my own Psycohol-Mobile Car to climb onto and leap off at him!!! It was getting crazy, and I think for the first time ever, he hit me with his Savate Kick!!! But I kicked out, unphased!!! I climbed up to the porch and leapt off with the agility of a Lemur on crack and caught Ninja with a huge Flipping Press into a Roll-up sort of maneuver! 1..2..3! I had won the Gauntlet Match in the name of Dr. X! Oh yah, I kick much keister! Now after the show I left, but apparently WMX met up with old buddy Jevon Hill, and they together beat the Hell out of newcomer Suicide with baseball bats, and put him into a sleeping bag, slamming him against trees, and eventually drove him out to some remote cliff and threw him off the ledge!!! WMX and Jevon had KILLED 187!!! HOT!!! I wish I were there... I soon suggested to WMX that we, the Doctors of Extreme should KILL someone!!! That plan was in the works, and would happen soon down the line...
The next Card, our first ever EWA Show in December was also the opening of the first ever EWA Tag Team Title Tournament! Over like nearly 6 Years of EWA Excitement, there had never been a Tag Team Division or Titles for it! We were about to change that!!! And me and WMX, the Doctors of Extreme came out mocking the DEAD 187, and proclaimed we'd be walking out the Champs!!! So in the 1st Round of the Tourney, we were set up against General Incoherence and Suicide, an odd and unlikely combination, which obviously didn't work out at all... it wasn't a long match at all, and it was ended when WMX made Suicide tap out to the Anklelock Submission... eh, opening rounds are boring anyways... on to the 2nd Round! The 2nd Round got interesting indeed! It was the Doctors of Extreme vs. Shortcakes and the Gorilla!!! That's right, Shortcakes, Wolfman X's wife, and the Gorilla... who's the Gorilla?! The Gorilla is a returning Superstar from EWA1, who really did nothing but stand around and get beaten up and lose, rumored to be a girl under the mask... and these two had made it through Round One how??? Oh, they fought Splooge and the Ninja, that makes sense... Shortcakes actually did a very impressive job out there... but this was the Docs baby!!! WMX went out there showing no mercy for his own wife, and decimated her with a huge Big Boot-chair-to-her-face, which unfortunately was lost when the camera's batteries went out, but trust me, it was GOOD!!! Soon I came in and furthers the DOE's reputation for beating on girls! I pretended to help Shorty, but then gave her a Tilt-o-whirlish Slam and Frog Splash... and Backflip Splash!!! WMX then came back in, Chokeslamming her... and then somehow she slipped out of the Blitzkrieg and tagged in the Gorilla who tried to go apes**t on WMX, but ended up with a Blitzkrieg and pinfall for OUR win!!! Ok, so far, so easy, what would the Final Round hold for us?! Indeed it would be the toughest Round as well it should be... DOE vs. Max Delirium and the Disruptor!!! Two up and coming big-namers against two Legends like me and the Wolf! This was a really good quality match, the new guys showin' us why they were here to stay! But hell, we dished it back to them as much as they dished it to us!!! And in the end, DOE hits the Demolition Drop on Disruptor and takes the victory and the Tag Team Titles!!! Psycohol and Wolfman X are the first ever EWA Tag Team Champions!!! It was a hot hot moment, that I will always keep right up there near the top of my list!!! Of course Disruptor came out afterwards and attacked us during our celebration, but I won't let that ruin it! We'd get him another time!!! And indeed we did! That time was like a few minutes later, where we attacked him out front and beat him into a snowbank! Haha! Don't mess with the DOE buddy!!!
The next show was indeed a big one! Probably the biggest since EWA50! The night before the show (in actuality a few weeks before, but we wanted to tie it in, so we claimed it was the night before), some strange events took place... Wolfman X and I were in his place playing some pool, when out of nowhere, "Wrestling Expert" Jevon Hill's music hit and he came in, challenging us to a game of pool... he even had the audacity to request our Tag Titles be put on the line! Of course since he didn't have a partner, we refused... but that's when none other than legendary EWA Icon Ground Zero walked in!!! What the heck was he doing there?! I didn't know, but it was pretty frickin' cool to see him again! Apparently he was visiting from Florida shortly... so we're like ok, let's do this! But before we could even get started, that idiot Suicide came into the room challenging all four of us for his Loserweight Championship... besides Wolfman X, who likes beating Jobbers mercilessly, the rest of us pretty much ignored Suicide as WMX did the talking... so somehow WMX got us signed into this dumb match with Suicide where we all had to pin him once to win, or him pin any one of us once... so GZ and Jevon got a couple quick wins... I gave Suicide a hot scissor legdrop and Flipping Whoopie Cushion in WMX's own kitchen!!! First ever match in a kitchen! WMX Blitzkrieged him in the kitchen!!! Awesome! Then we took it outside, wjhere WMX climbed to the porch roof as I laid Suicide into a Snowbank for a Wolfman Legdrop from way up! Unfortunately it didn't go that way! You see, Wolfman X has this slight fascination with trying to be like Psycohol... he doesn't realize that he's 250 lbs., and should not be flying off high structures... he should stick to the ground. Well anyways, he don't care, so he goes for the Legdrop, slips and misses Suicide by at least 3 feet, landing face first into a snowbank! Oh indeed Ground Zero, Jevon, and myself got a GREAT laugh out of this! We laughed the rest of the night I believe... and you could tell by the spite in WMX's eyes that he had never been laughed at like that before! He was never the fool UNTIL NOW!!! Hahahaha!!! So pissed he was, that he climbed back up there and went for an easy Splash, busting open Suicide's nose at the same time... nope, he's no Psycohol... but speaking of that awesome little dude, Psycohol, being myself, planned to go up to the roof and give Suicide one of my own moves! I told WMX to hold him there for me, but when I got up there, WMX and Suicide were gone! And behind me were Jevon and Ground Zero! I'd been double-crossed! They hit me a few times, and then GZ threw me off the roof into the snowy yard below!!! The camera didn't catch it well, since it was so dark, but it was a hellacious fall! Conveniently enough, WMX came out seconds later to help me and see what happened! I admit, I was having my suspicions about Wolfman X... but onto the real show that happened "the next day..."
Ah yes, this was definitely a big show! 2 matches in, Natas made his SHOCKING return!!! Natas, the man who we haven't heard from in over a year... Natas, the man who seemingly found a new life, and wanted to leave his old one behind... Natas, the man who claimed he would NEVER wrestle and EWA Match again EVER!!! Well.... apparently he was moving to Florida in just a couple weeks (hey ain't Ground Zero living there too?)... so he wanted one last show! And he called me out, and openly admitted, although it was a toss-up what his favorite match was, I Psycohol was always the most fun to wrestle... not Wolfman X! That's right, I rule! And he wanted one last good match! So I gladly abliged! First though the Doctors of Extreme had a jokingly absurd Tag Team Title defense... against that EWA1 joke, the Gorilla, and a newcomer who would later be known as Psychotron! So basically it was us versus Psychotron the whole match, as the Gorilla watched from the side as usual... Psychotron was an ex-con or soemthing, who wore all orange and a paintball mask... near the end when he tried to Chokeslam me, I tried reversing it into a DDT, and accidentally ripped off his mask! He fell to the ground as WMX came out and beat him down with his own mask! Hilarious! I Backflipped his arse and took the pin! After that me and WMX had a plan for the Gorilla... we were gonna repeat the "187 incident"... this time killing the Gorilla! WMX tossed Gorilla into a snowbank as I climbed a 15 death structure built by WMX's dad! I leapt down with amazing accuracy, feet first into Gorilla's face!!! The feet flew up, the head got buried and imploded!!! The Gorilla was dead!!! I killed it!!! YES!!! And it looks awesome on tape! WMX then climbed up, trying to be Psycohol again, and actually hit a decent Splash... then I climbed and gave a splash, then WMX couldn't let me show him up I guess, and climbed again for another dive at the corpse of Gorilla! I didn't bother to go again, I knew WMX would just follow like the Lemming he is... he wouldn't let me show him up, even in my own style... so we beat the cadaver with a baseball bat and left... my next match, was the big one! Psycohol vs. Natas... for possibly the LAST TIME EVER?!?! Yup, we never thought we'd see him again before this, but this one could actually be it! He would be gone after this! So we were gonna put on a helluva show! He was an idiot of course to wear shorts and no gloves on the icy-like snow covering the old EWA Arena's backyard! So it went down! It was classic! I frickin' Powerbombed Natas to everyone's disbelief! I have never used the Powerbomb through my whole career, being that I was a smaller guy, but I figured if WMX is gonna steal from me, I'm gonna steal from him too! And I powerbombed Natas!but he fought back too... hell, he sent me face-first through a huge icicle hanging from the side of the house! We hit many a classic move... I climbed that 15 foot structure again, only to miss a Flipping Senton Bomb! It was grueling! Natas was bleeding everywhere because of the ice! In the end though, I pushed my way out of his Stunner, and gave him a huge Frog Splash from another structure built by WMX's awesome dad! 1,2,3!!! Psycohol had defeated Natas in his last ever EWA Match!!! But no wait, as we were readying to have the Main Event for a World Title Shot, between me, WMX, and the Disruptor, Natas came out and wanted in! so we let him! WMX started the match with Disruptor... soon it was me and Ruptor, until he pinned in Natas, who went right to work on me, and then tagged in my own partner Wolfman X! Gee, they expected us to fight? Best friends, Tag Champs? Yah right! I was ready for some goofing around... apparently WMX was not, he was taking me as a serious threat, as I was playing ring around the rosies and hopscotch all over him... I thought he'd play along, but he was clueless... in the end, I made him look like a fool, before Tagging in Natas who went right after the confused Wolfman... ooops... my bad... were we supposed to fight? Anyways, soon thereafter, I was tagged in again to face WMX... and seeing how he was last time I was in, I decided to just go at it with him! So we had our first clash since I'd say the end of EWA4, unless you wanna consider that hotel brawl in NYC... I delivered a Moonsault from the Table! Oh yah, Psycohol was getting daring! Anyways the match dragged on, and on... WMX eventually gave me a Chokeslam off of one of the backyard structures,a good 8 foot drop! And soon he missed Disruptor with a German Missile, nailing me over the head! And backed right into a Natas Stunner, and then got hooked right into Disruptor's Osaka Street Cutter!!! Disruptor made the pin! And won! How did Disruptor pin Psycohol?! I'll tell ya how!!! With the help of two other guys... 3 huge moves one after another! Would never happen one on one! NEVER!!! So with me out, they kept going! Yada yada yah... Disruptor tapped out to the Anklelock by WMX... yadda yah... then Wolfman X and Natas shook hands and walked off buddies or something?! Overall a no contest... so I guess I'm happy I don't take a loss in the record books, but still... my pal Wolfman walking off with Natas?! Just after he was being all chummy with Jevon and GZ, two guys that threw me off a roof... it was all getting fishy I tells ya... but I'm a trustworthy guy... a sucker maybe... anyways, that was the possible 'end of the story' for Natas, and he was off to Florida for a new life... and it was back to Oneonta for the next show for the rest of us... Next>>>
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