The Luscious, Luscious Sound of Zeke's Garage.

Ahh, the sound of Zeke's Garage.
Life is sweet!

Click on a song title below to read crap about it.
The Songs:

Cremeland | Claudia Stop Eating Our Spaghetti | Dave is a Punk Rocker | I wanna meet Delta Burke |
Bird-faced Bastard |
Sellin out with Sarah | Zeke's Garage v. Hanson | Our Favorite Actors |
Chelsea Clinton Love Song |
The Video Game Song | Oi-Oi-Oyster Crackers | The Samurai Song |
Slurpeeland |
Jack Frost | Anime | Keanu | Girls Girls Girls | She's So Dumb |
Scurvy Knaves |
Arthur Keith and the Piltdown Dancers | Digimon ami |
Earth Angel - The Penguins | Weird Lookin Woman - Boris the Sprinkler | Rockaway Beach - The Ramones |
Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones |
Saturday Night - Bay City Rollers | Dammit - Blink 182

Lyrics shall go here. top

Claudia Stop Eating Our Spaghetti
Lyrics shall go here. top

Dave is a Punk Rocker
Lyrics shall go here. top

I Wanna Meet Delta Burke
Lyrics shall go here. top

Birdfaced Bastard
Lyrics shall go here. top

Sellin out with Sarah
Lyrics shall go here. top

Zeke's Garage Vs. Hanson
Lyrics shall go here. top

Our Favorite Actors
Lyrics shall go here. top

Chelsea Clinton Love Song
Lyrics shall go here. top

Videogame Song
Girl, meeting you was a moment that I'll always remember.
It happened a couple months ago, in late September.
I saved you from the dragon, yeah, I saved the whole land,
All thanks to the fire flower I hold in my hand.

When I twitch my thumbs
Link moves his bums.
Mario runs fast for me
When I hit button B.

I always got the high score when I played Excitebike.
Howard Philips was my god, I was his acolyte.
All the kids, they played outside, and frolicked in the mists,
But I beat them in the arcades, with my twitching wrists.


In level 5 of StarTropics, I always kicked butt,
But I always wondered to myself: Is Samus Aran a slut?
The beeps and whistles and bright lights kept my senses entertained.
If I could get enough of those 1-ups, I could power up my brain.


Oi-Oi-Oyster Crackers
Every winter, my diet would consist primarily of soup,
And I needed something to soak up the broth:
Something round and crispy, but not froot loops;
Something that would keep me warm in case I go to Hoth.

Chorus: Oi! Oyster Crackers!

I love their salty taste, coated in NaCl.
They go great with soup, and sometimes with salad.
I hope the guy who invented them didn't go to hell.
I love those crackers so much I composed this ballad.


I hope the third-world country that produces this food
Never stops, because I love those crackers in a box.
To get them, I would even look at Nancy Reagan nude.
Everybody knows that little starchy cracker rocks.

Chorus x3

Samurai Song
Wandering from town to town, to see if there's any ninjas around,
Where there's a crime wave, I'll fight it. I hope when I fight, I don't bite it.
I could save the villagers from looters, thieves, and pillagers.
I'll be hailed as brave and grand, and have warriors at my command.

And I'll be a warrior supreme;
I'll be the best you've ever seen. (Keen!)
When I arrive, Evil says bye-bye.
I wanna be a samurai.
I would give my right eye to hold a sword 'til the day I die.
I'm gonna be a samurai.

I could save fair geisha girls, then travel back around the world,
Hold a katana in each fist, but I'll miss drinking Sunkist.
It'll be great because I wanna be in a film by Kurosawa.
If I died, they'd all get teary; failure warrants hara-kiri.


I would live by the code of Bushido, I would live in a dojo,
I would drink Sake and eat rice and sell my services for the right price.
My hair tied back atop my head, I hope that I won't end up dead.
When I'm in the midst of combat, I'll fight more fiercely than a wombat.


Sometimes we get all blue, and that's when we know
We gotta get out of here; to Merrimack we go!
We'll eat some nachos, suck down Slurpees, smoke a cigarette,
It may seem childish, but that hasn't stopped us yet.

7-11, with your Slurpees,
7-11, with your Slurpees,
7-11, with your Slurpees,
We're grubby urban kids, we love your Slurpees.

We all must wait for the machine to defrost.
(If you like this song, you may enjoy Jack Frost.
We beg and plead for the cashier to turn the machine on please,
We want to get the pain and pleasure from a good brain freeze.


Standing in the parking lot is fun for you and I,
Unless a golden scarab beetle flies into your eye.
We love this place so much, we're never going home,
I'll drink a Slurpee, you will too, 'cause hey, when in Rome....
(You should travel and see lots of nice things)


Jack Frost
He will sneak into your home.
He's got a melting/freezing power.
He will kill you when you're all alone
In order to make sure you'll be devoured.

Jack Frost, Jack FrostFrostFrostFrostFrostFrostFrostFrost,
He's a killer snowball (oi oi, oi oi oi oi!)
Jack Frost, Jack FrostFrostFrostFrostFrostFrostFrostFrost,
He will kill you all.

Even when you melt him, he'll re-form again,
In order to ensure that you'll be mauled.
He's not a snow-woman, he's one o' them snowmen,
'Cause he's got snowballs.


He is made entirely of snow.
He is not made of moss; no, he is not mossy.
His body temperature is 70 below,
And you know, he ain't no freakin' Frosty.


Tetsuo was a young bike punk, but filled with cosmic powers.
His friends told him that he stunk, now Tokyo he'll devour,
So watch out for that little kid;
He's something to fear-a,
'Cause deep inside his brain they hid
The power of Akira!

Anime, Anime
The nerds are right when they all say
Anime, Anime
It can brighten my whole day.

In a world post-apocalyptic, a dark stranger appears.
Mysterious and cryptic, he hunts the vampyres.
He'll fight evil in the land,
And just in case you're wondering,
Yes, that's a face that's on his hand,
'Cause he's Vampire Hunter D!
Anime, Anime
The nerds are right when they all say
Anime, Anime
It can brighten my whole day.
A small boy needs to save the earth, him and his robot friend.
Maybe soon they'll prove their worth, so good wins in the end.
So pack your bags, come on, come on,
And don't forget your carry-on,
You'll face the might that is Neon
Genesis, project: Evangelion!
Anime, Anime
The nerds are right when they all say
Anime, Anime
It can brighten my whole day.
Anime, Anime
It fills me with elation
Anime, Anime
We all love Japanimation!

In Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure you were king.
Your hair was puffy, you were stupid, but you still kicked arse.
But then came Speed and Chain Reaction and lots of other things,
Which made us wonder, "Are they supposed to bad? Are they a farce?"
Then we realized each one had a serious intent.
Too bad for you that from our griping you are not exempt.

Keanu, Keanu,
You made a great Ted when you were opposite Bill.
Keanu, What's the matter with you?
Your career has gone steadily downhill.

Some would call your acting style calm and understated.
Some would say that it's more real, and simply naturalistic.
And yet this acting "style" simply makes us aggravated;
It ticks us off so much that we want to go ballistic.

Why could you not have stayed as Ted? You did in Parenthood.
Sadly, this was your last role that was any good.


You once had an adventure that was truly excellent,
In a time-traveling phone booth that was even cooler than Doc's car,
But since then, you have made nothing that I would want to rent,
So now you simply sit around, playing with your Dog Star.

But I guess that Sandra Bullock's even lower than you,
'Cause at least you had the dignity not to make Speed 2.


Girls Girls Girls
Some have been all around the world,
And sure, they've seen all kinds of girls,
But though we haven't seen the rest,
We know those in NH are best.

Girls Girls Girls (Hey, she's a cutie)
Girls Girls Girls (A teenage beauty)
Girls Girls Girls (We love them all)
Girls Girls Girls

If we were stars, those girls would bop
To our sparkly bubblegum pop.
That's why we dig the fairer sex,
And now we sound like MTX.

Chorus x2

Sadly, most of those who go
To our periodic shows
Tend to be mostly grubby and male,
But even so, we all still hail...

Chorus x2

She's So Dumb
When I first met you, I was smitten;
By the love bug, I'd been bitten.
I was hit by the arrows of cupid,
Then I realized, you're so stupid.

At first I'd hoped someday, we'd be
But I don't know why I thought you were cool;
You've got the depth of a wading pool.

You're so dumb, you're so dumb,
I'm sorry, but you're not the girl for me.
You're so dumb, you're so dumb,
You've got the intelligence of a dead maple tree.

And I don't mean to make you upset,
'Cause you're the sweetest girl I've ever met,
And spending time with you would be magnifique
Just so long as you didn't speak.


Though at first I thought you were pretty, it
Now seems that you're an idiot.
You're even hotter than uranium.
Too bad there's nothing in your cranium.


Scurvy Knaves
When you're sailing along in the great Atlantic,
Feeling calm, and none too frantic,
Your boat is rockin' with a gentle motion
As you cruise on through the ocean.
The salty breeze blows through your hair,
And on the horizon, nothing's there
Except for one speck, growing larger,
And on it's mast, the Jolly Roger.

Pirates! Coming to the shores of your happy hometown!
Pirates! We obey our thieving killer queen!
Pirates! Your imperial ships will never keep us down!
Pirates! We're rascally, we've scurvy, and we're mean!

Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! Be a pirate!
Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! Be a pirate!

Careful ye don't come to close or else we will just maul ya,
'Cause there's nothing else that can give us as much joy
As finding out that you're a traitor, so we can keel-haul ya!
Us sea-dogs will sail on! Ahoy-oi-oi!

Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! Be a pirate!
Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! We be pirates!
Arrrrrr! We want you!
We want you as a pirate recruit!

So join us if you want: we don't mean to be nags,
And sail off with us low-down scalliwags.
Though we're bearded, with eyepatches, and look none too cute,
We're fun to hang around with, and we'll even share our loot.

Arthur Keith and the Piltdown Dancers
The jaw of a baboon and a human cranium,
You adhered to a theory we believe no more.
With the body of an ape, and a human's brain, he comes,
Giving rise to a more modern Homo.

Arthur Keith, admit it, you were wrong.
Arthur Keith, you're out of luck.
Arthur Keith, your theories don't belong;
Arthur Keith: you suck.

You take random pebbles and you call them tools,
Your concept of evolution's a myth.
You and your compatriots were a bunch of fools
For believing in eoliths.

You fail to grasp the concept that we are one species,
And as for your ideas on war, we think
That they are worth about as much as feces.
Many anthropologists agree: you stink.

Anthropology was set back fifty years
By your theories, which were just noisy,
When you made sure Piltdown Man would be revered
Instead of such species as boi-oi-oisei.

It's not that we are trying to call you a liar,
But it's hard to give credence to what you say,
Since your theories put you only slightly higher
Than krazy katastrophist Georges Cuvier.

Digimon Song
Lyrics shall go here. top

Earth Angel
Lyrics shall go here. top

Weird Lookin' Woman
Lyrics shall go here. top

Rockaway Beach
Lyrics shall go here. top

Blitzkrieg Bop
Lyrics shall go here. top

Saturday Night
Lyrics shall go here. top

Lyrics shall go here. top
Wanna Buy a Tape?
Tapes Available...

The Adventures Of Superdog.. ..$4 format(s) available - Just cassette tapes
Wookies And Cookies... ..$4 format(s) available - Just cassette tapes

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