About Greg!
i said it before, i'll say it again. thanks to tony & pals for the pics!
Under massive construction!
About Greg
[control has temporarily been lost by King Portron and intercepted by the
powerful young Greg]
Mighty are the rivulets of lint that flow through my cardigans, and no
mortal man may cross them without a dustbuster, or at least a Super Shammy.
But if you happen to have either, you should be all set to catch a glimpse
of the shiny lead singer guy.
I am the shiny lead singer guy.
When I'm not with Zeke's Garage, I like to stay cooped up in a little box.
When I'm not in said box, I like to roam the streets of Manch Vegas and
Swarthmore. Being a pacifist, life can be hard in these ghettoes, as
everyone always wants to see if my bulging biceps are as powerful as they
look. Rest assured, dear reader, that they are. I could crush assailants'
heads like walnuts, but I would rather fend them off with a variety of
scathing snaps, such as the following ones, which I made up:
Yo momma's so conservative, she voted for Buchanan.
Yo momma's so fat, because she eats a lot.
Yo momma's fingers are so thick, which stems from the fact that she is fat.
Each of these remarks are guaranteed to put a big ol' frown on the faces of
evildoers. Then, run.
If you'd like to learn more about me, visit your local library. Then, you
can check out resources that I also enjoy checking out. Go to the music
section to listen to: Voice Farm, They Might Be Giants, Big Pig, Atom and
his Package, the Red Elvises, Screeching Weasel, the Rentals, Weezer, Cyndi
Lauper, Blink-182, Boris the Sprinkler, Carpet Patrol, Servotron, A-Ha, and
The Hooters.
Go to the comics place to read things like: Grendel, The Flash, St.
Swithin's Day, The Invisibles, The Watchmen, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac,
Jay and Silent Bob, Kane, 300, Batman, and many others. And if anyone out
there has Grendel #s 2 or 3 from the original Comico series, please give it
to me and you'll get into heaven.
Go to the movie/theatre store to see things like: Grosse Pointe Blank, The
Big Lebowski, Akira, the Seven Samurai, Clerks, Road Movie, King Lear, The
Hudsucker Proxy, Slappy and the Stinkers, Fargo, and plenty o' others.
Turn on the telly to see keen shows like The State, The Simpsons, The
Adventures of Pete and Pete, Maniac Mansion, and Breaker High. I should
note that the only one of these shows still in production is The Simpsons.
All others have been abandoned, leaving me in many tears.
So now you know a little bit more about me, and my nutty,
human-brain-eating way of life. Remember, kids, being a zombie is fun!
Join the gang! Ride the Wave! Have some fun! Spend your long, decaying,
existential afterlife! And while you're at it, bring you back some of that
moon-cheese for me, Greg, Emperor Portinopolous's secret vocals-boy.
-Super secret mystery!!!-
Can YOU figure out the grammar in that last sentence?
[Control restored to King
Portron]
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