I'm Not Losing You “With everything that just happened today, I couldn’t help but smile. Block out the fight, and I’ve got a perfect day. Now I couldn’t wait for January 4. That was the next time I was going to see them. I’d be seeing them from right up close, just like it used to be. How excited was I? After everyone, including my crew, had dispersed, I sat down on my couch, and settled for a nap.
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A Story of Dedication to Those I Love
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“Wake me up when it’s January 4th.” I said to whoever was standing behind me in the room. And with that, I dozed off.
“2:55 you’re picking me up, right?” Sam said to me before she hung up the phone. “Same place, right?”
“Yes, yes I am. Not like I can forget.” I replied to her. We were enjoying our usual 10:00 am conversation. She calls me from her school every day just to bother me because she’s bored. But today it was different. Today was the day. The two of us discussed our excitement for tonight’s show. We’d be seeing Vi3 again, up close. It was going to feel like the old days were back. Only in the old days, Vi3 didn’t headline a show that sold out the Allstate Arena.
“Hey, are you and Rachel going to wear your outfits tonight?” Sam asked.
“Maybe, I’ll bring mine along and see what we decide.” I replied. Rachel and I had created these outfits for the 2002 Halloween Bash that Justin and his family just loved. We were “Justin’s Angels.” We had made these shirts and pants and wore wings…it was really cute. And we felt inspired this year to make a new set of “angel” outfits. So what did I do? I got creative again. And these were even better than the original ones. We had decided to just make shirts this time, and go all out on those. So I picked up two matching shirts from Charlotte Russe, got some fabric paint, some rhinestones, and dusted off my sewing machine. They had turned out perfect. We decided to kind of go with a Chicago Cubs theme, and used these white “fairy like” shirts as the top. They were part sheer, and part solid, and we had lightly dyed the solid parts of the two red and blue. Rachel took the red and I took the blue. I had decorated them with all the rhinestones and a little bit of paint. Across the front of it, in iron-on crystals, it said “Justin’s Angels” and right under it, we had “Made in Vi3 Heaven.” On the back, I had written in glow-in-the-dark paint and a few rhinestones, “Rachel and Mya. Justin Angels since 2000.” They were really pretty, and really stood out.
“Well alright. Whatever you decide. Well, bell’s gonna ring, so I gotta go.” Sam finished. As I hung up the phone, I went and pulled out my angel shirt. I looked at it, and I tried it on and found what I could wear with it to complete the look. Of course it had to be something Rachel could match, so I had settled on just a plain pair of black pants. Rather simple. And just in case we decided not to wear those tonight, I picked out something else.
I glanced at the clock on my dresser, and realized I had to get going. I had a hair appointment pretty soon, and if I didn’t leave right away, I was going to be late. It was once again time to change my style and color. I was thinking of going with a shoulder length, razor layered cut, and then changing my color once again. I had already been every color there is, so I decided to pick a few out. Maybe keep the brown as a base and then add a ton of blonde highlights and a few burgundy ones. Or maybe black. I didn’t quite know yet. I just wanted something dramatic. But I had the whole drive there to figure it out.
I jumped in my car and took a drive. Turning on the radio, the first thing I heard was Brian Middelton talking about the guys on the radio. He said,
“And these Chicago guys will be performing tonight for a sold out crowd at the Allstate Arena. Here’s Vi3 with a little flashback music for you, on B96.” And then the beginning of “Backstage Girl” started. I smiled and turned it up a little louder so I could sing along without feeling like an idiot. I couldn’t wait for tonight. I let the song play as I drove, until it was over. Then I had to put in my mix tape. Mix tape of Vi3 stuff that is…
Arriving at Armand’s right on time, I walked in and was greeted by Kristin. She asked what I was planning on going for this time, since she knew I liked to mess around with my hair. I had finally decided on something while I was in the car. I described it to her the best I could. I said that I wanted to make the bottom layers all black, but change the top completely. I wanted the top to be blonde, with a few black streaks going through. And then I described the cut I was going for. She paused for a moment, played with my hair a little, and nodded.
“Got it. I think we should be able to do that. As a matter of fact…” she walked over to the magazine that was sitting on the table behind her, and she picked up a picture of Christina Aguilera. “Is this kind of what you’re going for with the blonde with black?” The style on Christina was just the color idea that I was thinking of. I nodded and said that’s exactly what I was looking for, but just with the underside being black. Kristin nodded back and said, “Great. We should definitely be able to do that one.”
While I was getting my hair shampooed and while she started to put some of the color on my hair, I started daydreaming about tonight. I started to predict the show in my head. I pictured the guys doing their thing, I pictured the lights, the stage, the choreography, the smiles on their faces, the excitement in their eyes…and then I pictured the crowd. I thought about all the thousands of fans screaming and cheering and singing along with the show. I pictured some of them crying, I pictured some of them laughing, and I pictured some of them jumping up and down with painted faces and tour tee shirts. Just the thought of seeing that excited me. I smiled while she was messing around with my hair, and before I knew it, it was time to rinse it all out.
“Well, looks great. Is this light enough of a blonde for you?” she asked before taking the bleach out. I looked up at the mirror, and saw that my hair was blonde. And I mean blonde. I told her it was perfect, and with that, she rinsed all the bleach out of it. From there, I got everything else done. The underside, the streaks, and the cut. By the time she was finished, I was really excited with it all. It was exactly how I wanted it, and I was totally ready to go out and show everyone. I looked at my watch. It was now 1:45, and it was a waste of time for me to go back to my dorm when I had to be back here in an hour to pick up Sam, so I decided to just go home. I had everything I needed for tonight with me anyway, so there was no point in going back. In the middle of my singing along to “Oh No” on my mix tape, my phone rang. It was Sam. I answered with,
“What are you doing calling me now? Shouldn’t you be in class?” She laughed and said,
“I forgot that we get out early today. We’re out now, so just come now. Where are you anyway? I called at 1:30 when we got out, and you didn’t answer.”
“Oh, I just got my hair done. Cut and colored just the way I want it.”
“And how is ‘just the way you want it’ exactly?” she asked.
“Haha, you’ll see when I get you. I’ll be there in like ten to fifteen minutes.” And I hung up the phone. I drove over to pick her up, and found her waiting for me in the lot. I had put my hat over my hair so she couldn’t see quite yet what I had done. All she could see was the black on the bottom and a little bit of blonde sticking out. I told her I needed to swing by my house and such to get some cash for tonight, so after we dropped everything off by her house, we made a trip to mine. The second we walked in the door, the first thing she did was rip off my hat. She saw what I had done, and freaked out.
“Oh my god it’s so blonde! VERY Christina Aguilera.”
“Is that good or bad?” I asked, laughing.
“Well, it’s good if that’s what you’re going for.” She laughed back. “I love it.”
“Good. Because so do I.”
“You know, the guys are gonna FREAK!” She exclaimed. “Lucas is going to make fun of you again for changing your hair more than he does!”
I laughed. It was true. I remember when he accused me of doing that back in Milwaukee after I first cut off all my hair. He came out and the first thing he said to me was,
“DUDE! You change your hair more than I DO!” and since then, I guess he was right. I had been messing around with my hair quite a bit. It was amazing to me that all of it was still on my head.
I ran around the house trying to pull the last of my needs together, and showed Sam our angel outfits.
“Oh my god. You are SUCH a dork.” She said when she looked at the front and what it said. Then I turned it around and showed her the back. She read it and exclaimed,
“Yeeeah! ORIGINAL’S rule!” and went to give me a high five, but I just gave her a weird look and left her hanging. I put my outfits back in my bag, and we packed up everything I needed.
“Camera…check. Film…check. Makeup…check. Brush…check. Clothes…check.” Alright. I was set to go. We brought our stuff out to the car, bracing the cold again. We threw it all in the trunk, and we started driving to Rachel’s house, where we were all meeting to go to the show.
Rachel and Mardy were sitting in the front room when we arrived at about 2:30. The first words I heard out of their mouths besides hello were “Oh my god she’s a blonde!” and “Hello Miss Aguilera.” I just smiled and said,
“Yeah, thanks.” And laughed. Rachel asked me the question I was supposed to be asking her.
“Hey Mya, are we going to wear our angel outfits tonight? Or are we saving those for when we can actually talk to them?”
“Well we can wear them if you want, I’m fine either way.” I said to her.
“Just wear them. Because who knows when the next show is going to be.” Mardy said. So Rachel and I agreed to wear them tonight.
“Wait, wings or no wings?” Rachel asked.
“No wings. They got in the way last time, and they’re going to cover up our stuff on the back.”
“Good point.” She replied. So we nixed the wings. We did our hair and got dressed in record time. Then it was time for me to start on my makeup. That took me forever to do. Especially since I had a ton of glitter as my eye shadow. Like I had it at Dance Club One back in the day. Only this time I wasn’t half naked in the hotel room when they decided to show up. To this day, I still think of Danielle whenever anyone mentions the words “naked,” “car window,” “Dance Club One,” or “hotel room.” Man I have some weird memories. But hey, it’s all part of the game.
“Mya!!!! Come on, let’s go!” I heard Sam yelling from the other room.
“I’m coming, I’m coming. Hold on a second and let me close the glitter.” I replied.
“What, no sparkly dandruff this time?” asked Rachel,
“Ha freakin’ ha ha ha.” Was my reply. I was not going to spill the glitter on my outfit this time. The four of us hopped in the car, in our normal seats, and we were off to see the boys.
Arriving about an hour before they opened the doors, we parked the car, and walked around a little bit to keep warm, and at the same time, look for people we knew. We saw some faces we recognized, but more than anything, we saw massive groups of new fans. Already decked out in Vi3 gear that they had previously had. I would bet they can’t wait to get inside and get their hands on the new stuff. I know between the four of us, we were going to have at least one of everything they were selling. That was a given. We kept walking around, and finally we saw someone we knew.
“Hey, it’s Shilpa and Sadia.” I said, pointing to two girls walking our way. They waved at us as we waved back.
“What IS up?” was Shilpa’s greeting. Sadia said her hello’s to everyone as well. Then she asked the famous question.
“So Mya, what’s the hot outfit today, since I KNOW you always have one.” I hesitated to open up my coat because it was so cold, but Rachel and I both decided to show her. We opened up our coats, regretting that we did the second our skin hit the air, and showed Sadia and Shilpa our outfits.
“Awe those are hot!” Sadia said to us.
“Yeah, and Mya’s BLONDE!” said Samantha.
“What do you mean blonde?” Shilpa asked. “I thought she was already blonde? Oh wait, that’s right, she just acted that way.” For that I hit her big fat winter coat. As always, Shilpa had her stacks of flyers and stickers, which she gladly passed out to the four of us. Her next move was ripping off my hat to see my hair. I screamed a little bit, and tried to cover it up. I finally gave up the struggle and let them see my new do.
“Awe, it’s so cute Mya! I love it! Very Christina Aguilera.” Sadia exclaimed.
“Thanks. I just got it done today.” I replied. We carried on a small conversation for a few minutes until we saw another familiar face. This time it wasn’t a fan, it was none other than EB. He was walking outside to the Denali, talking to B96’s own Steve. (Yes, the personal accessory Steve.)
“EB!!!” Shilpa yelled in his direction. He turned and waved. He kept walking to the car and talking to Steve. On his way back, he saw that we were still around, and came over and said hello.
“What’s up y’all?” He said, greeting us all with high fives and hugs. “Are you excited yet?”
“Umm, of COURSE we’re excited. We have second row seats.” Said Mardy.
“Well then, you BETTER be excited!” He looked just as thrilled about the show as we were. “They’re putting on an awesome show. You guys just HAVE to see it. We were in Detroit last night, and they LOVED it. Even the critics gave it a good review, so that’s a big thumbs up for us.”
“Here’s hoping the Chicago critics will too! Because you know how they can be…if it’s not the Stones or Bruce Springsteen they give it a bad review.” I said. Steve laughed because he knew it was true.
“Haha you’re definitely right. So who cares about Chicago critics, right?”
“Right!” we all said in unison.
“Well we’re going to head back inside, it’s cold out here. See y’all inside!” Erik said, getting ready to walk away. We all said good-bye and kept walking towards the line to get in.
The now six of us took our place in line and passed out flyers when the security guards and cops weren’t watching. We all know that if they see you they start asking you for a permit and whatnot, so we do it while their backs are turned. It’s a little Vi3 Fan trick. By 5:30 when they opened up the doors, Shilpa had passed out a good number of her flyers and stickers. Sadia had passed out quite a few and so had we. Entering the building finally, we felt the gust of heat hit our frozen faces.
“Ah. Heat!” Sadia and Rachel both exclaimed. I asked Shilpa where her seats were.
“Oh they’re pretty out there.” She laughed. “We’re in…wait let me check…section 112, row E seats 25-26.”
“That’s not THAT bad. We were over there for the Halloween Bash one year. We saw everything that went on really.”
“Oh really? Then alright. Sounds good. But it’s no ‘second row’ like you guys.” She said, mocking us a little. I laughed and promised her I’d take a ton of pictures for her. We split up from them, and our two groups went our separate ways. As for my crew, our first stop was the merchandise cart. We were going to snatch up the good stuff before it was gone. Looking at all of the tour merchandise, I realized that I was going to be spending my $100 completely. There were 3 different tee shirts, two hats (one I already had though.) programs, stickers, lanyards, a tour sweatshirt, the Team Vi3 sweatshirt, CD’s posters and photo cards. We decided to each get a different tee shirt and then figure out what we needed from there. I ended up getting one tee, the tour sweatshirt, a program one poster and a couple stickers. Yeah, my $100 was gone. I just knew there was a reason I had saved that money. I shoved all the stuff I bought into my backpack, except for my program. I held onto that as we went to find our seats. We passed through all the people on the 100 level, passed through the farther back floor seats and made our way up to our row. As we were climbing into our second row, we counted the seats, and came to a dead stop when we realized that there was something right next to us. It was a catwalk. Yes, a catwalk was right next to my seat. Sam begged me to trade with her, and I told her HELL NO. Sorry, this was MY seat. I picked the lucky ticket. Oh it was going to be a good time. And I was going to have some nice pictures for Shilpa and the girls to see.
I started flipping through the program and looking at all the stuff they had written along with all the new pictures. I stopped dead when I came to the two page spread in the middle. Still staring at the page, I started hitting whoever was next to me. And it just happened to be Rachel.
“Ouch. What?” She asked. I said nothing and pointed to the photo. She looked at it and screamed. “OH MY GOD! THEY WORE THEM!” Immediately Samantha and Mardy looked over our shoulders to see what we were freaking out about. When they looked down, they screamed out of excitement as well. There were Justin, Jackie and Lucas, wearing the personalized jerseys that we had gotten them for Christmas in 2002. I almost started to cry I was so excited. The four of us were so wrapped up in seeing our boys in our gifts, that we didn’t notice the group of people that sat down behind us. I just saw a shadow appear on the page, and a voice say,
“What are we looking at?” the voice sounded rather familiar, so the four of us turned around. Standing right behind us and looking over our shoulders was Mr. Roman. Standing behind him was the Roman clan. Mom, Dana, a few other relatives as well were included. We turned to the clan and said hello. It turns out that they had the seats behind us. Once again, Mrs. Roman noticed the outfits that Rachel and I had made.
“Oh goodness. Here we go again. I LOVE these outfits girls!”
“Oh thanks! Mya made them again.” Rachel said. She looked at me and smiled.
“You MADE these?” she asked in disbelief.
“Well, kind of. The shirts came just plain white, I added the color and the writing and stuff.” I replied.
“Well they are just adorable. And once again, I must take a picture of you two. Always adorable. Always.” Rachel and I stood together while she took our picture. “So, are you girls ready for the show?” she asked as she was putting her camera by her feet.
“We were born ready momma.” Sam said.
“I bet you were.”
“Hey, our seats couldn’t be any better. We’ve got you guys behind us and the guys in front of us, it just doesn’t get any better than this!” Mardy replied to the both of them. While we carried on a conversation with the Roman clan, I glanced down at my watch. It was just about 7:00, and the venue was almost completely full. I couldn’t find an empty seat anywhere, and that just amazed me to no end. And then it happened. The lights slowly started to go down. The show was on its way.
“Here we go!” I heard Mr. Roman yell into the air. That’s right. Here we go!
