Not To Crazy To Get Busted

CHRIS

J.C.

NAME: Judy Cootie, yes that my real first and middle name...but I prefer J.C.
AGE: in earth years? well then I'm 5
FROM: a galaxy far, far away
SAYING: Never trust a bald barber, they have no respect for your hair.
FAVORITE MEMBER: Paulie baby!...and Rob...ahh damn, I just can't choose.
WHY I LIKE THEM: Well, just look at them!
OTHER: Ok, well I really should come clean and tell you about me...my name is really *^($%#@*^ and I have been sent here by my leader to study the human habit. In a plan to eventually take over the earth. But I told my leader to "stick it" when I fell in love with a 72 year old truck driver, with the hugest beer gut you have ever seen! We were married and he died on our honeymoon, freak accident with a gear stick, but thats another story for another time! Now I wander aimlessly hoping that Paul would someday love an alien, who in earth years is really 5 years old...(sigh)


JUSTIN
NAME: Justin, really Justine, but everyone calls me Justin
AGE: Let's just say I'm legal to consume alcohol in almost all countries
FROM: Chupacabra (on the wrong side of the tracks)
SAYING: Your face looks like it caught on fire and someone put it out with a pitchfork.
FAVORITE MEMBER: Robby "boobies" Thomas and Pauline
WHY I LIKE THEM: Well Rob because he's an alcoholic pervert, and Paul is a cross dresser. So it's an re-enforces my belief that just about everyone can make it famous
OTHER: Well I'm a bit of a butchika, I haven't worn a skirt EVER! I used to be in a barber shop quartet back in Stoke, Illinois. I don't wear underwear on Tuesday, from certain angles, my retainer looks like a Klingon warship. I like walks on the beach, and yes my momma wore combat boots. Oh and I have 4 inspirational words of advice for anyone who wants to make it in the world today: NEVER EAT YELLOW SNOW! and that's my story.

LANCE
NAME: LANCE, yes it's Lance, and yes I'm a girl. I am the youngest of 14 sisters and they all have nice normal names, but not me, noooo, I get stuck with Lance. My dad wanted a boy so he decides to punish me and stick me with a boy's name. They all have nice normal name's like Jen, Amanda, Brenda, Kelly...just to name a few....and i get Lance. I can't believe i get stuck with this name, I don't even have a middle name. Oh no, I'm not bitter.
AGE: old enough to smack your ass and call you Danny boy
FROM: 90 degrees longitude, 79 degrees latitude
SAYING: Your as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly.
FAVORITE MEMBER: gotta love the old man!
WHY I LIKE HIM: You can't go wrong with a guy that has unsightly gray hairs, and tries to act like a teenager from hell! Doesn't that just turn you on?
OTHER: Well I'm a former hand model, which my career ended 'cause of a freak typing accident (long story). So then I became a professional calligraphy writer, another freak accident involving ink and a whole lotta paper cuts (even longer story). I used to be a child actor, do you remember Joanie from the show Happy Days? Well I'm not her. Now I aptitude export exotic things, yes exciting job for a girl with a name like Lance. I like Teletubbies, hanging out with my friends, strawberry shakes, surf and turf (in that order), and full moons. I dislike Barney, hanging with people I don't like, banana shakes, surf without the turf, and half moons. My motto is live free and happy! And eat TACOS!