Buffy stared out the window. The momentum of the bus was making her drowsy but she could not sleep. Inside she was crying, wishing she was with Giles and the others. She knew she had made the right decision about killing Angel. There was nothing else she could have done, she had to save the world………again.
She thought of her Mom back in Sunnydale, all alone. She thought of the good times they had had and the bad times they had struggled through together. Then she remembered her Mom's last words, "If you leave now, don't ever think of coming back." Those words hurt her more than she could admit, even now five days later she couldn't accept them. She wished she could have explained about being a Slayer, or at least been given a chance to. Earlier she had thought of different ways she could have broke the news to her Mom and none of them she liked. Only one could her Mom possibly would have accepted and that was if Giles had told her. Giles had a way of phasing things and he made things sound so light and fun. Plus he enjoyed saying "In every generation there is a chosen one……". She could imagine him smiling at the thought of the end of the world and laughing at the thought of nuclear warfare. Without realizing it Buffy laughed out loud but she was saddened when she thought of Jenny. Giles had loved her a lot and the way Angel had arranged the murder made Buffy scream with pain inside. Buffy wished she was with Giles as he always helped her and advised her but now she was alone. She tried to take her mind of Sunnydale by looking out the window.
Cars whizzed past, each going their separate ways with their separate lives and their separate dreams. Buffy envied everyone of them, as they didn't have to save the world, they got to enjoy it. She hated being a Slayer. She had felt this way when she had first moved to Sunnydale. She had lost all her friends, her family was split up and she knew nothing would ever be the same. Giles and the Slayerettes made her happy with her destiny, they helped her face it and accept it. She remembered when Willow had said they were the Slayerettes. The Slayer, the Watcher and the Slayerettes; a full team. Oh don't forget a vampire with a soul, a perfect addition to the group, ready to fight evil then to fight good; a perfect team mate don't you think? She hated Willow for being successful in restoring Angel's soul. It had been so hard killing the one she loved and it would have been so much easier to kill the one she hated. She knew it wasn't Willow's fault but she didn't know who to blame for all her pain. She laughed at herself when she realized she had begun thinking about Sunnydale again even though it brought her so much sadness.
Xander's face came to her mind and she saw the love he had for Cordelia, the friendly love he had for Willow and the love he had for her. He had helped her in a lot of battles and was always there when she needed him. His constant stubborn persistence and annoyance at Angel had made Buffy mad before but now she accepted and was glad of it. She wondered what he was doing? Buffy leaned back in her chair and wriggled around until she was comfy. She closed her eyes but all she could see was Angel's haunting face. She heard someone shout so she looked around, a familiar face caught her eye. It looked like Spike but it wasn't, it was just someone like him. He must be half way around the world by now. She shouldn't have let him go, she was a Vampire Slayer not a car sales person. It wasn't her place to make deals. She realized she had something in common with Spike and the thought made her shiver with fright. They both loved someone with all their hearts and souls (if they had one). Instantly Buffy thought of Angel. She thought of his secretive smile, his tortured eyes, his lonesome past, his voice, his hair, his lips and then she thought of the look he had given her when he was being sucked into hell. Without realizing it she had started to cry and now she was sobbing uncontrollably.
"Hey young one don't cry, want a hanky?"
The soft voice brought her out of her memories and she looked around to see from whom it was coming. It was an old man, with a worn out but pleasant face. He was holding out a tissue and Buffy took it, thanking him.
"Run away from home did you? I did that once, you should go back, your friends and family miss you, they need you."
The old man coughed lightly and turned away to talk to someone else. Buffy dwelt on his words. Maybe he was right, maybe she should go back. The momentum of the bus was making her drowsy but she still could not sleep.
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