The Asskins Approved, Low Crap Website!

8/13/2004 - No News Today

Sorry, but I'm just getting a little tired of the news of the day. The "Gayvornator" James McGreevey's resigning, Hurricanes Charlie and Bonnie threatening the Florida coast, the president getting a favorable bump in his approval rating and in the polls, or more of the SwiftBoat vets coming out against Lurch. If you want the news, click on the links. For now, a bit of fun.

Man, someone overdid it on the Botox treatments! Anyways, I will be making a fun photoshopped images joke page here in the next few days, so if you want more funny pictures like that.. well, it's being worked on.

8/12/2004 - A Sensitive War on Terror??

Earlier this week , John F-in' Kerry told America that he'd fight a "More sensitive war on terror". What the HELL is that supposed to mean? How in the hell is a WAR supposed to be SENSITIVE!? The purpose of war is to kill so many of the enemy that they no longer have the ability to resist. It is NOT hearts and minds, appeasement, sensitivity to cultural issues or any other mamby-pamby PC leftist philosophy. I mean, what the hell is going to happen in a "sensitive" war? I think I may know what Lurch tends to do:

Paint all military apparatus in a calming neutral color.

All soldiers will be required to attend a minimum of 50 hrs of sensitivity training per year.

We will have no enemies. Just "disgruntled humans with firearms"

After every shot fired, the soldier will be required to stand up and apologize.

All enemy POWs will recieve manicures, massages, and endless apologies from U.S. MPs.

All cease-fire negotiations will be live on the Oprah Winfrey show.

I'm sure Patton is spinning in his grave right now. How about this for sensitivity. We put the old "Have a Nice Day" smiley face stickers on MOABs we intend on leveling a city with. See? Sens-A-Tive!

An album I'd like to see

8/10/2004 - You Might Be A Liberal If:

If you think the best way to care about a disease is to wear a ribbon...

If you think that pouring blood on a $1,500 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but if anyone protests outside an abortion clinic, they're extremists...

If you think the New York Times is fair and balanced, but Fox News is ultra right-wing...

If you say "we"won the Cold War, but you opposed everything Ronald Reagan did to win it...

If you burned all your "RUSH" records out of principle when Mr. Limbaugh's show went nation-wide in the late 80's...

If you believe that the people in the fly-over states are ignorant idiots yet think that high-school dropout actors are political geniuses...

If you can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy...

If you think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese...

If you think Jimmy Carter's face should be on Mount Rushmore...

If you think the Flat Tax rate should be 95%...

If you've considered trading in your SUV for a Yugo..

If you'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock...

If you would accept a car ride from Ted Kennedy...

You just might be a liberal! More to come in part two next week.

Which Vietnam Vet supports Kerry? (hint: Back Row center)

8/09/2004 - Swiftboat Vets Talk About Kerry's War Record

If you've been watching CNN this last few days, you might not know this but there's been about 220 Vietnam War veterans who served directly with Kerry coming out on his war record, and calling him "unfit for command". It's a huge slap in the face towards Kerry and he's already set to sic the DNC lawyers on their campaign (big surprise there). Does that mean Kerry DOES that something to hide? Well, I suggest you check out the site and decide for yourself.

Now here as a community service, I present the common liberal, DNC Kool-Aid drinker responses, and the rebuttals to those whacked out claims. DNC talking points in Italics, my comments in bold.

"You didn't serve in Vietnam, so you can't comment on it!" Yeah. I wasn't even BORN yet! But since Kerry decided to campaign on HIS record, it's time to see it from the view of those who DID serve with him. If Kerry didn't make a big deal about his "war hero" status, neither would anyone else.

"Well, the SwiftVet guys weren't even on the same boat!" Well, I have seen clips of swift boat runs in Vietnam on the History Channel and other sources and they usually travel in groups of two to four. Besides, the men that served with him and traveled with him on these routes would know better about his actions taken better than anyone else.

"This is all just part of George Bush's vile attack! Actually, no. The SwiftBoat Veterans for Truth is funded by donors to the cause. Mainly a wealthy homebuilder in Houston named Bob R. Perry, who yes.. has given money to Republicans as well, but Bush and the RNC have nothing to do with this ad.

"Bush should condemn the ads!" Why? They might hold some truth, and if THAT's the case, let's see Kerry denounce some of the ads that feature Bush as Hitler, Michael Moore's mockumentary, or the pot-shots that Gore, Dean, and Kennedy keep taking on an almost daily basis.

"But Bush IS Hitler!" Yeah, yeah... back to DU with your psychotic ass and take your tin-foil hat with ya!"