You Might Be A Liberal If....
An album I'd like to see
The hits I got when I made a fun little list copying the popular (and hilarious) Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck", and putting a little political twist on it.. man, you readers came through.. and I enjoyed reading your e-mails and comments. Thus, I have decided to go ahead and archive the list and add it as a fun part of TSRD. If you have any others you'd like to contribute, feel free to e-mail me.
You Might Be A Liberal If:
If you think the best way to care about a disease is to wear a ribbon...
If you think that pouring blood on a $1,500 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but if anyone protests outside an abortion clinic, they're extremists...
If you think the New York Times is fair and balanced, but Fox News is ultra right-wing...
If you say "we"won the Cold War, but you opposed everything Ronald Reagan did to win it...
If you burned all your "RUSH" records out of principle when Mr. Limbaugh's show went nation-wide in the late 80's...
If you believe that the people in the fly-over states are ignorant idiots yet think that high-school dropout actors are political geniuses...
If you can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy...
If you think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese...
If you think Jimmy Carter's face should be on Mount Rushmore...
If you think the Flat Tax rate should be 95%...
If you've considered trading in your SUV for a Yugo..
If you'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock...
If you would accept a car ride from Ted Kennedy...
You think homophobia is a far worse social disease than herpes.
You think Hillary and her village are better off raising your kid than you.
You speak out on the "evils of corporate America" but spend a great deal of your time at Starbucks.
You think the miltary ought to be holding bake sales to pay for weapons.
Your chest is scratched like one of Freddy Kruger's victims after hugging to many trees.
Your favorite Marx brother was Karl.
You take pride in owning a VW bus rather than a 2004 SUV (and still owe 10 more payments).
You think that a few more months of U.N. sanctions and Saddam Hussein would fold like rookie poker player.
You think anyone who doesn't find Will & Grace funny is a homophobe.
You think that it's wrong to execute a convicted serial killer, but abortion on demand is a constitutional right.
You think it was a strech for Rob Reiner to play a liberal in "All in the Family".
You believe in more conspiracy theories about Bush than the X-files could come up with.
You think the black middle class was just a myth started by Newt Gingrich.
You pray to "The Woman Upstairs".
You really believed Al Gore invented the internet.
You look at Yassir Arafat as a "man of peace".
You think that Bush is a flip-flopper, but Kerry is the epitome of consistancy.