Liberal - English Dictionary
You have to admire the Left sometimes. They are loud, they are proud, and can unintentionally be a good laugh to the rest of us in the normal world. I mean, just look at the above picture!
But we have no way of communicating with them. They speak in a totally different language, known as "libberish". I have cracked the code and have provided a service in translating bits and pieces of their language so that someday, we'll be able to discuss and debate with them. Or maybe they'll just still call conservatives "Nazis". Who knows? But keep in mind, I'm trying to help break the language barrier here.
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A
Abortion: Post-conception contraception. The true answer to make up for some women's licentious promiscuity instead of sexual responsibility.
American Civil Liberties Union: Our official guarantor of all our rights and liberties. Affirmative Action: A leg-up on the unfair competition in a facist, capitialistic world for minorities who can't do it alone, because we know they're inferior and can't get up off the couch without our help.
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B
Bias: Warped, prejudicial slant on news coverage by Faux News and Rush Limbaugh. As far as mainstream media goes, it's non-existant. Bigot: A Conservative Republican.
Bush, George W.: The most evil man alive, more so than bin Laden and Saddam put together. A dumb, racist, manipulative, war mongering cowboy. A true threat to our cause of raising taxes and killing babies.
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C
Capitalism: The most loathsome sociopolitical monetary philosophy in all human history created by White Supremacist European Patriarchs.
Centrist: Liberals
Christians: Ignorant blind followers of a racist, imperialistic cult. Judiasm is also in this category.
Conservatives: Oppressive, money-hungry bigots. Facsists, Nazis, Warmongers. See also Republicans.
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D
Democrats: The true party of America.
Diversity: Something that needs to brought into all schools, offices, newsrooms, health clubs, etc. Unless you're a conservative, white, heterosexual male. Then you ought to be punished for being so.
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E
Extinction: What we all face if we don't listen to Al Gore.
Extremists: Anyone who disagrees with our liberal ways which is most people who are right of center.
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F
Facist: A conservative Republican.
Freedom of Speech:Something every citizen ought to have a right to, unless you're a Conservative. Then it's Hate Speech, and should be censored.
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G
Gangs: A group of disenfranchised, disadvatanged inner-city youths.
God: A construct of primitive Americans to justify their bigotry and homophobia; the only thing you can't talk about in schools
Government Funds:The answer to every social problem in existance by taking away more money from dolts who work and pay taxes and giving it to unwed mothers, minorities, spotted owls, etc.
Guns:The most Politically Incorrect devices in the whole world. They have a mind and an evil spirit of their own. Guns kill people, all by themselves.
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H
Hate:What motivates conservatives.
Health Care: Should be free, and listed as a civil right in the Constitution.
Heterosexuality: A lifestyle that should not be granted any special rights.
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I
Intolerance: Something conservatives and Republicans are guilty of everytime they open their mouths.
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J
Jingoistic: Anyone who flies an American flag outside their house or has a "God Bless America" bumper sticker on their gas-guzzling SUV. -------------------------------------------------------------------
K
Kyoto Accord: An international agreement to punish wealthy nations with the guise of protecting the environment.
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L
Liberals: Ummm... we prefer the term "moderate" or "centrist".
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M
Marxism: The most brilliant economic plan in existance.
Morality: An entity which should be defined by personal choice.
MoveOn.org A non-partisan public interest group.
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N
Nazi: A conservative.
Neo-Conservative: Traitor, but still a Nazi
Non-partisan Group: Democratic special interest group, I.E. People For The American Way, MoveOn.org, etc.
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O
Oil: A resource that SUVs guzzle and Bush wants to steal. Open-minded: Thinking "progressively".
Oppression: Having a conservative Republican in office.
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P
Personal Responsibility: Neo-con's code words for racism and homophobia.
Prayer: Hate speech that should be banned in the constitution.
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Q
Quota: A great idea towards diversity in the work place.
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R
Racist: Anyone who is opposed to Affirmative Action or the immigration of undocumented workers.
Reagan, Ronald: Created greed and despair in the 1980's and toppled utopia in the Soviet Union. Also known as Ronald Raygun
Right Wing Conspiracy: The Neo-Cons attempt to smear our exhalted leader Bill Clinton just because he had sex with an intern.
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S
Self-Esteem: That which an unfeeling society denies its young people through the pressure of competitive sporting games and "good grades" in school.
Seperation Of Church And State: A constitutional right guaranteeing teaching condom use and homosexuality in the classroom to your 5 year old and keeping those Christ O' Facists' mouths shut.
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T
Talk Radio: A vast squakbox for the right-wing extremists to shout out hate speech for their mind-numbed robot listeners.
Terrorism: A judgemental term used by the far-right wing to scare people. Also, the Bush cabal's code for "an excuse to wipe out all brown people and steal their oil."
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U
Unilateral: The type of action taken when the United States goes to war without France's, The UN's, and Jane Fonda's permission.
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W
War: An obsolete way of settling disputes with rogue nations who "sponser terrorism".
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If you are more fluent in "libberish: than I, please feel free to e-mail me, so you can share your knowledge, so that someday, we may be able to communicate with liberals in their native tounge. That is, if we HAVE to talk to liberals.