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For the first seven seasons of The X-Files, the Opening Sequences had:
Jeez. I'm not sure "pitiful" was the effect they were going for, though. Where was I? Oh-yeah-sometime in the eighth season they added, in place of (snicker) The Lumbering Ghost, a small Mulder falling into a big eye. There is a whole section about Mulder and the eye coming up in "Leila Explains Why There Will Be No Second Or Third X-Files Movie" so, more on that later...
No genitalia...if they still manufacture sperms and eggs, they don't seem to have a way to get the two parts together, and probably don't have wombs, either. Once again, if you met up with this Alien you wouldn't be scared. He/she looks lost...like maybe the mothership has gone out of the calling area.
Then Mulder got too close to the truth. Imagine Mom telling him he wasn't human? Anyway, successful assimilation was proven by Mulder getting a human woman to want to have his baby.Now if this were "The Truth", and everyone found it out, Scully would be in an interesting position, much like the ancient Sabine women, who were carried off by, and made the wives of, conquering Roman soldiers. Years later, the Sabine men regrouped, and set off to attack the Romans to re-take their women. In the meantime, the women had grown to love their husbands and had given birth to, and raised, Roman sons. Fathers and brothers stood facing husbands and sons on the line of battle. The women ran into the space between, entreating both sides not to fight when, no matter who won, they would lose those they loved. What would Scully do if she had to choose between her Human mother and brother...and her Alien lover and son? Well, I think that would make an interesting conflict! I call dibs on writing it, too, unless it is a spoiler. Well, back to the Opening Scenes: So, anyway, they added Mulder falling into this big eye, which as near as I can tell, is Chris Carter's eye. About the Opening Scene of Mulder falling into the eye: Some people no doubt will be interested in knowing how they did that. Well, first you have to know that when Disney wanted to make "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" they commissioned an inventor to make a device to shrink stuff. I mean this is DISNEY, ok? They don't have to settle for camera lens tricks and oversized props, like a cereal bowl as big as an above-ground pool. So CC gives the Special Effects guys maybe a week's notice that he wants a spiffy new bunch of stuff for Season Eight. So, just by chance, the X-Files Special Effects guys are grousing about this at a bar with the Disney Props guys. A little money changes hands. They lure David Duchovny to a metal-plated enclosure (for some reason this particular metal doesn’t shrink,) with a new issue of "People Magazine." They suggest that they saw something about him in the "Chatter" section. ZAP!
Kim Manners: "Ready? Quiet! Take One..." Best Tweezer Grip (whispers): "3...2...1...(drops DD)" DD: "NUHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
GETHIMOUT! OW! OW! OW! DD: "SCREECH! GETMEOUT! OW! OW! OW!" "Kim Manners:"Cut!" CC: "OW! OW! OW!" and DD: "OW! OW! OW!" David Duchovny manages to crawl, sopping wet, out onto Chris' cheek. He enjoys a moment of respite, not seeing the huge tweezers swooping in from above and behind... Best Tweezer Grip: "Got 'im! ...Where's that ray? Stop wiggling! Hey! Hey! ...Whoops!" Kim Manners (looks down): "Oh crap." Pathetically, the tweezers hold only the vest and pullover turtleneck Dave Duchovney was wearing. The cameraman has caught all of this on film. He has climbed down from the stepladder. He lays on the floor so he can zoom in on Duchovny, who is sprawled on the floor. Duchovny's arm seems to be twisted in a very unnatural position. Suddenly, Duchovny gets up, and, to everyone’s amazement seemingly turns the arm around. The Laws of Nature operate differently as one gets smaller, apparently. They tweezer him back over to the metal plate and zap him back to size. Leila's Quiz for Alert Reading: What was the first thing Mr. Duchovny said when returned to his regular size over in the little metal enclosure? Highlight below for the answer. All of the film footage is usable. The part with Duchovny on the floor is used after Mat Beck adds in some backgrounds. They finish this and move on. They shoot all the scenes of David Duchovny for Season Eight out of order but based on whether Mulder is wearing the hospital gown, his casual clothes, his FBI suit, etc. After a week of shooting, they are shooting the scene in the Coroners Office, with DD in the coffin, last. It's 1:33 in the morning when the Director yells, "Cut! That wraps it, guys." Two new guys on the crew close the coffin and wheel it away. Later they come up to Chris Carter, who is in the post-production area, doing something or other...some sort of post-production thing. Everyone "in the know" has been giving him "a wide berth" since the eye shot. He is wearing an eye-patch. He is very miffed about having Mulder dropped into his eye, although he thinks it all came out looking great. Conveniently, Kim Manners and all the Special Effects guys have taken off to some far away location, which is a smart move on their part. The two new assistants barge in where angels fear to tread. Assistant #1: "Excuse me ...…where does the coffin go?" Chris Carter (slowly): "Wel...…where did we get it from?" Assistant #2 flips through script to find "The coffin is lifted out of the grave by a backhoe" and points it out to Assistant #1. Assistant #1: "Um...oh. I see." Chris Carter, a little impatiently: "It gets returned to where we got it from, OK?" As Carter turns back to his work, he rolls his one uncovered eye upward as he shakes his head slowly from side to side. PART THREE: or, They Have Saved Him His Special Chair
The two assistants are off looking for a backhoe, and they get distracted by a pool hall with a video arcade. Duchovney finishes using a small knife on the rental car key chain to loosen the coffin hardware, then he kicks it open. He doesn't have his wallet, only his fake FBI ID, so he has to hitchhike home. A light snow has fallen. He has to trudge several miles in the snow before he is picked up. He's getting pretty tired and hungry. Fortunately, the first ride he gets returns him to the LA area. He gets a second ride almost immediately. The third driver lets Duchovney off at the entrance to the Big Park. The streetlights have come on. A light rain has turned to a cold drizzle. As he walks along, there is a sound, like someone whistling and humming, sliding down six or seven notes. A car-like conveyance pulls up. Wheels descend from hatches. From seamless metal, two doors are delineated. From pinpoints of glass, windows spread out. The car rolls up and stops next to Duchovny. The window on the passenger side slides down. The Passenger Being, who sports sharp teeth and saliva that stretches in strings between his jaws when he speaks, hails Duchovny. Passenger Being: "Hi there! Gee, it sure is cold and rainy! Would you like a ride home?" Duchovny hesitates. The Passenger Being speaks again. Passenger Being (opening the door, he steps out to hold it open): "Your mom sent us to pick you up." Duchovny is about to answer this when the Driver Being, who also has a mouth like Carlsbad Caverns, picks up a sack from on the seat. He leans across the vehicle and holds it up. Driver Being: "I have a bag of candy! Let's go eat it!"
Duchovny: "Wow! Candy? Move over!" Duchovny crams into the tiny back seat. He takes the bag of candy and shakes some out into his hand. He selects seven jellybeans (two yellow, two white, one purple, one orange, and one green,) and pops them into his mouth. While he is preoccupied doing this, the Passenger Being climbs back in and slams the door. The windows shrink to pinpoints. The doors smooth out. The wheels retract. The vehicle ascends, making a noise like some one whistling and humming at the same time, sliding up about six or seven notes. Thanks for visiting my site! Leila March 26, 2002 Click here to go to my new story called Old Wine In New Skins Click here to go to very small lower case x-ish stories #4, 5, and 6 Click here to go to very small lower case x-ish stories #7 and 8 Click here to go to x-ISH Story 9 Click here to go to Memento Mulder Click here to go to Mulder And Scully Click here to go to The Re-Make of The X-Files Click here for The Torture Of Mulder They Will Not Show On TV! Click here for A Recent Portrait of Jeffrey Spender Click here to go to A Scully Moon Rises Over Mt. Mulder Click here to go to New Story Ideas! Click here to go to Two More New Show Ideas! These are Lone Gunmen stories Click here to go to a Re-creation of the Original Homepage of The Lone Gunmen site Click here to go to A Hunter Thompson Weekend Click here to go to The Three Moscateers Click here to go to one of the two different treatments of the ending of the story My Friend Flicker which has Scully/Doggett and A Wild Hair Day, the continuation of the story of Flicker, with Doggett/SecondAgent Click here to see one of two different treatments of the ending of the story My Friend Flicker, which is a Scully/Mulder story and then there is This Case is Closed, which is the continuation of the story of Flicker, with Scully/Mulder Click here to go to A Cruise To Nowhere
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