Agents Mulder and Scully were on the way back from assisting the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in British Columbia (see previous x-ISH story #2a,) when they were ordered by their boss, Assistant Director Skinner, to make a pick-up run at Area 51. They stopped for a sleepover in Las Vegas. During the night a sinister Las Vegas ooze-The Golden Ooze-oozed in under the motel room door and attacked Mulder. It covered him. He sparkled. Like a Golden Girl. But not as dead. Yet. The slime begins to layer itself in certain areas-the groin, the nipples, the earlobes, and the feet, building itself up like coral into the beginnings of a gaudy costume.

Mulder awakes early, uncomfortable to find a large fan of pink feathers has grown from the small of his back as well as in a plume on his head. A panicked run to the mirror reveals that his face now looks like a girl except there's something not quite right about the chin and mouth, and the Adam's Apple is too big.

He and Scully stumble into Asst. Dir. Skinner's office, Mulder clutching his trenchcoat and hat tightly to keep the feather fans under wraps.

"It was like this, Sir," begins Scully. "Agent Mulder came to my motel room to use my Magic Fingers. It was completely innocent. Then, later on... well, he was goo-ed."

"Are you telling me that Agent Mulder was...good?" asks a shocked but perversely interested Asst. Dir. Skinner. He exchanges a leer with The Cigarette Smoking Man, who is hanging from a silky thread near a web in the darkest corner.

"No! He was goo-ed." explains Scully. "Look!" she says, pulling off the hat and coat. A dazzling Mulder preens his tailfeathers.

"There's something not quite right about the chin and mouth." says Asst. Dir. Skinner.

"And the Adam's Apple is too big," The Cigarette Smoking Man adds.

"No, no! It's Mulder!" yells Scully.

He is immediately put into isolation, of course.

"Now, see here!" Asst. Dir. Skinner rumbles, pacing at the door to the isolation room. "Black Oil, Green Pus, Shooting, Torching, Gutting- these are all tough, masculine ways to be offed. So! these scummy aliens want to subject us to Cross-Dressing? I don't THINK so." Skinner's eyes narrow to slits. The glistening plaque has now crept into the most intimate parts of Mulder's body. Sometimes Scully has to touch Mulder in those sensitive areas. "Tee hee hee!" giggles Mulder, his laugh more effeminate with each invasive probe.

On the fourth day Skinner takes Scully aside. "Look, we may have to give him an euthanasia shot and then burn the body." growls Skinner, sympathetically, (like, for him...)

Mulder buffs his nails, unaware of his predicament.

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