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"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff" Frank Zappa

Last month's birthdays

The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course TV's hyperactive Aussie naturalist Steve Irwin stars as himself in this good-natured family adventure that finds the fearless critter wrangler trying to protect an endangered croc - one that has swallowed a top-secret satellite beacon that's being sought by the CIA. Believing the agents to be poachers, Irwin and his wife Terri try to evade their pursuers while getting the scaly reptile to safety in the Outback, adopting a baby kangaroo, and dodging poisonous spiders and snakes in the process. Crikey! The Disorderly Orderly When he flunks out of medical school, a bumbling but well meaning klutz takes an orderly job at a sanitarium, where his chameleon-like tendency to mimic the symptoms of the patients wreaks havoc. Jerry Lewis stars in this classically loony 1960s comedy. Funny Money Chevy Chase stars in this adaptation of the British play about a mild-mannered wax fruit company executive whose accidental briefcase mix-up results in him attempting to steal five million dollars from the Mob during the middle of an increasingly manic surprise party. Penelope Ann Miller and Armand Assante costar in this comical farce. Rated R for Violence, Adult Language & Content Goin' Native: The Indian Comedy Slam This history-making original concert showcases the funniest Native American comedians performing today, gathered together on one stage. Featured alongside host Charlie Hill are Larry Omaha, Howie Miller and four up-and-comers making their mark on the standup scene: Marc Yaffee, Jim Rule, Vaughn Eagle Bear and JR Redwater. Rating TVMA, 80 Mins, Adult Language & Content House of Usher (2007) The former lover of Rick Usher and best friend of his sister Maddy returns to their family home to attend the latter's funeral and discovers the sinister secrets of the Usher clan in this modern adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe's short story starring Izabella Miko, Austin Nichols and Beth Grant. Previous version starred Vincent Price Lars and the Real Girl (2007) His entire town goes along with the delusion when a shy, lonely young man buys a blow-up doll on the internet & begins treating her as his beloved girlfriend in this quirky, Oscar-nominated comedy starring Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider, Kelli Garner & Patricia Clarkson. Rated PG13 Ninja Cheerleaders Three college students conceal triple identities as cheerleaders, strippers and Ninja assassins while trying to rescue their kidnapped sensei from the Mob in this tongue-in-cheek action comedy starring Trishelle Cannatella, Ginny Weirick, Maitland McConnell, George Takei and Michael Pare. Rated R for Nudity, Violence, Adult Language & Content Rescue Dawn (2006) Christian Bale stars in the true story of Dieter Dengler, a U.S. fighter pilot who was shot down over Laos during the Vietnam War, then escaped from captivity in a brutal POW camp to reach safety after a harrowing trek through the jungle. Steve Zahn and Jeremy Davies costar in this gripping tale of survival, directed by the legendary Werner Herzog. Rated PG13 Scary Movie 2 Hilarious 2001 horror spoof of haunted house and possession movies starring Tim Curry as a creepy professor who invites four students to spend the weekend at his spooky mansion, with ghostly results. Anna Faris and Tori Spelling costar in this lampoon. Andy Richter, James Woods, Veronica Cartwright, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Chris Elliott, and Richard Moll as the Hell House Ghost. Rated R for Violence, Adult Language & Content Scream A box office smash that launched a movie franchise, this horror classic stars Neve Campbell as a grief-stricken teenager who suspects that a fresh rash of teen murders is somehow linked to the mysterious killing of her mother one year ago. Her theory is shared by an ambitious, ruthless tabloid reporter investigating the gory deaths with the aid of a bumbling deputy. Drew Barrymore, Skeet Ulrich, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Rose McGowan, Jamie Kennedy, Matthew Lillard and Liev Schreiber costar in this blockbuster from director Wes Craven. Rated R for Graphic Violence, Adult Language & Content Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th (2000) This wacky satire of teen horror spoofs every convention of its vapid genre with broadly funny style, following the efforts of a high school principal (Coolio) and a TV reporter (Tiffani Amber Thiessen) to uncover the truth about a series of slayings on campus. Tom Arnold, Shirley Jones and Jimmie Walker costar in this delightfully absurd lampoon. Rated R for Violence, Adult Language & Content The Spirit A classic comics character inspired this gritty, hard-boiled thriller about a slain cop (Gabriel Macht) whose ghost returns to his hometown to defeat a corrupt, murderous villain called The Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson). Eva Mendes costars in this visually dazzling adaptation rated PG13 Sliver Sharon Stone stars in this adaptation of Ira Levin's novel by screenwriter Joe Eszterhas and director Phillip Noyce. She plays Carly Norris, a recently divorced editor who becomes attracted to two of her new neighbors at a deluxe high-rise apartment building. One (Tom Berenger) is a popular writer, while the other (William Baldwin) is her landlord, a wealthy man hiding an erotic, voyeuristic secret. Polly Walker and Martin Landau costar. Strange Invaders A college professor searching for his missing wife and daughter finds an even bigger mystery in his spouse's hometown, a rural, all-American village overrun by alien invaders from outer space. Paul LeMat, Nancy Allen and Diana Scarwid star in this tribute to '50s-era sci-fi films rated PG. Sum Of All Fears Ben Affleck takes over the role of hero CIA agent Jack Ryan in this box office hit based on the best-selling novel by Tom Clancy. Low-level analyst Ryan is elevated to prominence by his expertise on an obscure strongman (Ciaran Hinds) after the politician's surprising ascendancy to the Russian presidency. But that's just the tip of a very large, very lethal iceberg involving neo-Nazis and a nuclear warhead smuggled into the U.S. by terrorists. Morgan Freeman, Bridget Moynihan and Liev Schreiber costar in this espionage adventure Twilight Saga, The: New Moon The popular "Twilight" movie series continues with this blockbuster second entry in the teen horror saga, which finds Bella (Kristen Stewart) heartbroken over the departure of her true love Edward (Robert Pattinson) while evading a vengeful vampire and befriending Jacob (Taylor Lautner), a classmate with mysteries and secrets of his own.

Twilight Saga, The: Eclipse
On the eve of high school graduation, Bella (Kristen Stewart) is forced to choose between her love for her vampire boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattinson) and her friendship with the werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner), while a string of murders ravages Seattle. David Slade directs the third entry in the popular "Twilight" series. Who's Your Caddy? (2007) Denied membership in an exclusive Hamptons country club, the millionaire rapper C-Note (Antwan Andre Patton) pulls off a clever real estate deal that guarantees him admission but also touches off a war with the club's snobby elite. Jeffrey Jones (Stay Tuned), Andy Milonakis and Faizon Love costar in this hilarious comedy of golf, rap, and class tension rated PG13. Zombie Honeymoon (2004) When a beach-front encounter with a zombie during their honeymoon results in a groom with a taste for human flesh, a newlywed bride tries to make the best of a rapidly deteriorating situation in this romantic horror comedy starring Tracy Coogan and Graham Sibley. Rated R for Nudity, Graphic Violence, Adult Language & Content 1408 A short story by Stephen King becomes this horror hit about a travel writer (John Cusack) who spends his nights debunking haunted hotel rooms--until he encounters one legendary site that turns out to be the real, terrifying deal. Samuel L. Jackson & Mary McCormack costar in this chilling adaptation. Rated PG13 for Mild Violence, Adult Language & Content



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Month-long movie listings for Showtime #2 (Showtime Too), Showtime Showcase, Showtime Extreme, Showtime Beyond, Showtime Women, and Showtime's Family Zone channels. Showtime HD appears to have the same listings as Showtime (above)

"Beware faux miracle workers, yogis, dervishes, televangelists, zealots and cult leaders. Penn and Teller have you in their cross-hairs with a new series that strives to spark controversy, headlines and water cooler fisticuffs!"
Why is the series title called "Penn & Teller: Bullshit!" you ask? Penn says the Showtime lawyers told them that if they called a UFO Alien Abduction Therapist a fake or fraud, they could get sued, but if they just called it "Bullshit!" they couldn't sue because that's a personal opinion and everyone is entitled to their opinion in a free country. That's why. Unless you think that explanation by Penn is just BS; some of the episodes are seen on Showtime or Showtime #2

There's no crying in baseball

Do you have Arachnophobia?

Previously on The Movie Channel:
March-April 2012
January-February 2012
December 2011
December 2010
December 2009
December 2008
December 2007
December 2006

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The Movie Channel was launched in 1973 as The Star Channel, a regional pay service. It went national as The Movie Channel in 1979, then merged with Showtime in 1983, and spun off Flix channel in 1992 to feature classic older movies like Whatever Happened To Baby Jane. Movie hosts on TMC have included Joe Bob Briggs before he went over to the dark side (TNT's Monstervision)

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Jeepers Creepers where'd you get those eyes?

Battling Aces? I could've had a G-8. Remember that the next time 1930s robots attack New York