These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the SYFY Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...
In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff. John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing
Today's schedule sponsored by Motel Hell, when only the very worst will do
This month, 2017
April 1 - If you're still celebrating New Year's Day today, you're an April Fool
4/1/1954 Bill creating the Air Force Academy signed by President Eisenhower
4/1/1989 Congress proclaims National Model Railroad Day
4/1/1894 The French Ripper, Joseph Vacher, considered cured and released from an asylum, went on a killing spree
4/1/2010 Ed Roberts died, developer of the calculator and computer kits, employed young Bill Gates and Paul Allen in the 1970s
4/1/2010 John Forsythe died, actor "Bachelor Father", Dynasty, and Charlie's voice in Charlie's Angels
4/2/1887 First vestibule passenger train in service, by the Pennsylvania RR
4/2/39 Marvin Gaye born, singer "Sexual Healing" hit #1 on pop chart 13 times in 17 years
4/2/1805 Hans Christian Andersen born "The Little Mermaid"
4/3/66 Folk singer Peter Tork plays at The Troubadour in Hollywood after auditioning for NBC's TV series The Monkees
4/3/74 a series of 148 tornadoes hit 13 states leaving damage over 2500 miles
4/3/26 Gus Grissom born, first man to fly twice in space as an astronaut, died along with Ed White when Apollo One caught fire inside the capsule on launchpad 1/27/67
4/4/68 Riots break out in 30 cities after the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr.
4/4/2012 Grumpy Cat born
4/4/1915 Muddy Waters born (d. 4/30/83) singer
4/4/2013 Roger Ebert died, movie critic
4/4/2009 Jody McRea died, played Bonehead in several of Frankie and Annette's "Beach" movies
4/5/39 Ronnie White born, singer
4/5/1900 Spencer Tracy born (died 10/6/67) actor, Captains Courageous, Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad World
4/5/12 Thomas Kinkade died, "painted lights" artist
4/6/37 Merle Haggard born, singer
4/6/45 Bob Marley born (d. 1981) singer
4/6/44 Michelle Phillips born, singer The Mamas and the Papas
4/7/12 Mike Wallace died, newscaster for "60 Minutes"
4/7/49 John Oates born, singer Hall and Oates "Private Eyes"
4/8/74 Chris Kyle born, US Navy SEAL and author of American Sniper about his Iraq War experience (died 2013)
4/8/73 Pablo Picasso died, painter, printmaker and sculptor (born 1881)
4/8/75 Minnie Riperton gets a gold record for Loving You featuring her 5-octave singing and bird calls
4/8/2013 Margaret Thatcher died, former Prime Minister (UK)
4/8/2013 Annette Funicello (70) died, singer actress from Mickey Mouse Club to the Beach movies
4/8/2010 John Schoenherr died, artist who painted hundreds of sci-fi book and magazine covers inc. "Dune"
4/9/2017 Palm Sunday
4/9/2011 Sidney Lumet died (director) 12 Angry Men, Network, The Verdict
4/9/1932 Carl Perkins born, don't step on his blue suede shoes
4/9/2010 Meinhardt Raabe died, the Munchkin coroner who pronounced the witch's sister dead in 1939's Wizard Of Oz
4/9/45 Dietrich Bonhoeffer executed on order of Hitler, was a Lutheran pastor and vocal anti-Nazi
4/10/2017 Passover begins at sundown
4/10/56 Nat King Cole attacked and severely beaten by white segregationists while onstage in Birmingham, Alabama
4/10/2010 Dixie Carter died, actress "Designing Women" TV-series, wife of Hal Holbrook
4/10/62 Stuart Sutcliffe died (21), bassist for The Beatles for 2 years
4/11/2017 Full Moon, lock Larry Talbot in his room
4/11/57 "Hellcats Of The Navy" premieres, starring Ronald Reagan and Nancy Davis
4/11/70 Paul McCartney leaves the Beatles citing differences with John & Yoko Ono
4/11/13 Jonathan Winters died (87) actor/comedian
4/12/54 Bill Haley and the Comets record "Rock Around The Clock," later used in two movies
4/12/50 David Cassidy born, singer/actor The Partridge Family
4/12/40 Herbie Hancock born, singer
4/12/25 Tiny Tim born, singer Tiptoe Through The Tulips
4/12/2009 Marilyn Chambers (model/adult star) died, star of some Ivory Snow TV-commercials before they found out she was a porn star inc. Joe Bob's favorite Behind The Green Door
4/13 Thomas Jefferson birthday (no longer observed)
4/13/2017 Holy Thursday / Jueves Santo
4/13/1846 Pennsylvania Railroad chartered
4/13/60 Maj. R.M. White is 1st to pilot X-15 rocket plane
4/13/65 The Beatles get a Grammy as Best New Artist of 1964
4/13/46 Al Green born, singer
4/13/12 Jonathan Frid died, star of TV-series Dark Shadows
4/14/2017 Good Friday
4/14/35 Loretta Lynn born, singer
4/15/1986 US planes bomb Libya in retaliation for terrorist activities
4/15/2013 Terrorist from Saudi Arabia and two Chechens set off two bombs at end of Boston Marathon, 3 dead and over 100 injured
4/16/2017 Easter Sunday (Domingo de Resurreccion)
4/16/47 Most of Texas City, TX, destroyed by fire when ship carrying ammonium nitrate exploded, 3500 dead or injured
4/16/49 Berlin Air Lift delivered 12,940 tons of supplies in 24 hours during Soviet blockade
4/16/63 Jimmy Osmond born, youngest of the singing Osmond Brothers
4/16/39 Dusty Springfield, singer
4/16/2013 Pat Summerall (82) died, sportscaster for CBS and Fox Sports for over 40 years and 16 Super Bowls
4/17/2017 Easter (Canada, UK, Australia)
4/17/2011 Michael Sarrazin died, actor The Reincarnation of Peter Proud and They Shoot Horses Don't They?
4/17/1970 Paul McCartney releases his 1st solo album after his temporary break with the Beatles
4/17/2013 Explosion at fertilizer plant in West, Texas, over 100 injured, some dead
4/18/1775 Paul Revere rides to warn the militia that General Gage is on the move
4/18/1880 Marshfield, MO, destroyed by 24 tornadoes in one day
4/18/1934 Burlington Zephyr dedicated, later renamed California Zephyr
4/18/1942 Lt. Col. Doolittle leads 16 bomber raid on Tokyo in retaliation for Pearl Harbor
4/18/2012 Dick Clark died, host of American Bandstand and annual televised New Years Day from New York
4/18/2012 A motorcycle lost in Japan's tidal wave over a year earlier washed up on the west coast of Canada in its storage container 4000 miles away
4/19/1919 1st non-stop flight Chicago-NY
4/19/33 Jayne Mansfield born, actress known as "The Blonde Bombshell" in 1950s & 1960s, died on 6/29/67 in a car crash
4/19/1775 Skirmish at Lexington, then Concord, Minutemen ambush redcoats & blockade Boston
4/19/67 Somethin Stupid goes gold, the only hit duet by Frank Sinatra and daughter Nancy Sinatra
4/19/72 Former school teacher Roberta Flack gets her 1st gold record for The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
4/19/95 Truck bomb in Oklahoma City damaged over 200 buildings and killed 168 people, 2 were convicted for the bombing
4/19/2011 Elisabeth Sladen died, actress in Doctor Who TV-series for 40 years as Sarah Jane Smith
4/19/2010 George Scithers died, editor of Isaac Asimov Magazine and the new Weird Tales
4/19/2009 J.G. Ballard (author) died, "Empire Of The Sun" novel & movie were based on his life in WW2
4/20/1769 Chief Pontiac of the Ottawa is murdered
4/20/1893 Harold Lloyd born (died 1971), one of most famous comic stars of silent film era
4/20/59 Puppy Love released, 13 year old Dolly Parton's first song single
4/20/2010 Dorothy Height died (98), civil rights activist with Martin Luther King
4/21/2016 Prince died, enigmatic singer/songwriter, born June 7, 1958. We can't party like it's 1999 anymore
4/22/38 Glen Campbell born, singer
4/22/50 Peter Frampton born, singer
4/23/1866 Westinghouse patents first railroad air brake
4/23/56 Elvis Presley debuts in Las Vegas as opening act for comic Shecky Greene but is fired after 1 week for poor reception, Elvis refuses to return to Vegas for 13 years. Heartbreak Hotel hits #1 on the pop chart the same week in 1956
4/23/36 Roy Orbison born, singer
4/23/2011 Norio Ohga died (born 1930) inventor of the music CD, later president of Sony
4/27/2017 Holocaust Remembrance Day in Israel
4/24/62 USAF used an orbiting satellite for 1st time to transmit TV images
4/24/59 Final broadcast of radio's "Your Hit Parade" featuring popular music since 4/20/35
4/24/72 John Lennon releases single "Woman Is the Nigger of the World" but radio stations refuse to play it
4/24/74 Bud Abbott died (76), of comedy team Abbott & Costello
4/25/1507 Mapmaker Martin Waldseemuller names the new world "America," the 1st map to show it as a separate continent
4/25/2010 Dorothy Provine died, actress in movies inc. It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World
4/25/1972 George Sanders died, starred as The Saint and The Falcon in several movies, as Mr. Freeze in 1960s Batman TV-series
4/26/2017 New Moon, werewolf threat level green
4/26/42 Bobby Rydell born, singer
4/26/73 Irene Ryan died, movie actress and Granny in TV's The Beverly Hillbillies (born 1902)
4/26/86 Soviet Russia denies anything unusual at Chernobyl nuclear plant, until radioactive cloud later reaches western Europe
4/26/2011 Phoebe Snow died (born 1950) singer "Poetry Man"
4/26/70 Gypsy Rose Lee (stripper, actress, writer) died, musical Gypsy based on her life, toured with the USO
4/27 Secretary's Day
4/27/1865 Boiler exploded in Mississippi River boat Sultana near Memphis, over 1500 dead
4/27/1931 Warmest temperature on record for state of Hawaii, 100 degrees F. in Pahala
4/27/59 Sheena Easton born, singer
4/27/44 Cuba Gooding born, singer "Everybody Play The Fool" (1972)
4/28/54 Big Joe Turner's sexually suggestive "Shake Rattle & Roll" hits #3 on R&B chart. A cleaned up version was later a hit for Bill Haley & the Comets
4/28/2011 William Campbell died, actor best known to Star Trek fans as "The Squire of Gothos"
4/29/1918 Lt. Eddie Rickenbacker shot down 1st enemy plane
4/29/1873 Railroad knuckle coupler patented to replace dangerous link-and-pin couplers
4/29/1899 Duke Ellington (jazz great) born, died 5/24/74
4/29/70 George Harrison of The Beatles releases his 1st solo album
4/29/76 Singer Bruce Springsteen jumps the fence at Graceland wanting to meet Elvis, he is ejected by security
4/29/47 Tommy James born, singer
4/30/1900 Casey Jones tells his fireman to jump while he attempts to stop train
4/30/91 A cyclone hit Bangladesh killing over 130,000 and leaving 9,000,000 homeless
4/30/33 Willie Nelson born, singer/actor
4/30/70 Inger Stevens killed herself, star of b/w TV-series The Farmer's Daughter
4/30/74 Agnes Moorehead died, frequent costar with Orson Welles inc. as Margo in radio's The Shadow starring Welles , mother-in-law Endora in TV's Bewitched
4/30/56 Vice President and later Senator Barkley died (60) while making a speech, coined term "the Veep"
5/1/25 Astronaut Scott Carpenter born
5/1/39 Judy Collins born singer
5/1/44 Rita Coolidge born singer
5/1/67 Tim McGraw born, Country singer
5/1/41 Orson Welles' Citizen Kane premieres in New York
5/1/57 Larry King's 1st day on the radio, is the caller there?
5/1/65 Nine records were set by a YF12A interceptor that hit 2062 mph at 80,000 foot altitude
5/1/1971 Amtrak begins operations
5/1/2015 Grace Lee Whitney died (85) born April 1 1930. Yeoman Janice Rand on Star Trek
5/1/1954 Alan Freed hosts his 1st rock concert inc. the Clovers and Muddy Waters, sells out at $2 per ticket
5/1/1967 Elvis Presley marries Priscilla, daughter of an army colonel he met while serving in Germany. She had moved to Graceland at age 16, in a separate house
5/1/1979 Elton John becomes the first pop music star to perform in Israel
5/1/1939 Saudi Arabian crude oil is loaded onto a tanker for the first time, at Ras Tanura
5/1/1776 The Illuminati founded in Bavaria
6/19/2016 Anton Yelchin died (27) Russian-born actor best known for playing Chekov in recent two Star Trek films and a recent Terminator movie as Kyle Reese. He got out of his car in his driveway when it accidentally rolled crushing him. His family filed suit against Chrysler on August 2 for not issuing a recall for the known defect Google announced new computer keyboard on April 1 2016, for people in Japan addicted to smart phones
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs started on The Movie Channel: TMC schedule
"While other people come upon roadkill and see a dead animal, I see a new hat" Beth Beverly, Taxidermist
Half of the DNA in humans and bananas is the same, does that mean we are all half bananas?
Ray Harryhausen's legendary stop-motion creatures defined blockbuster special effects for decades and inspired entire generations of filmmakers. He died May 7th, 2013 at the age of 92.
Other deaths in 2013 included Tom Laughlin, star of the Bill Jack movies, and Peter O'Toole, costar of Supergirl movie and "My Favorite Year."
Note: Joe Bob's video host segments for "Blood Feast" have been added to the Blood & Donuts page cause I can't remember where I put the transcript for Blood Feast
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff" Frank Zappa Click here for the planet Alderran from the 1st Star Wars movie. The Shadow Knows
Peter Graves of Mission Impossible (TV-series) and the movie Airplane, has died. His son tried to help but to no avail. Walter Koenig's son Andrew, a childstar on "Growing Pains" as Boner, has been found dead of suicide. Members of the cast of Star Trek and Growing Pains have sent their sympathy to the family; he had been treated for depression and went off his meds. Walter Koenig asks that anyone wrestling with depression please get help or call someone
Josh Friedman (the Terminator TV series) is casting for a new Charlie's Angels TV-series on ABC and Moonlight's Alex O'Loughlin is close to an agreement to play the Jack Lord role in a new Hawaii 5-0. NBC has ordered several new pilots to fill the hole in primetime left by Jay Leno returning to the Tonight Show, including a new Rockford Files by the creator of TV's House, and a dramedy starring David Tennant (Who?) called "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" (I hope that's just a working title). American Movie Classics is adapting "The Walking Dead" zombie comic book for a new TV-series on the cable channel known for Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Starz is already running episodes of Sam Raimi's "Spartacus: Blood & Sand," with Lucy Lawless (Xena) as a Roman vamp. Remember Terry O'Quinn from the Monstervision feature Stepfather 2? He's no longer Mr. Nice Guy on the TV-series "Lost." He told TV Guide in January 2010 that in the 6th & final season, his character's "on a mission and he's a dark presence, almost like the devil. The more the others know about him, the more fear he inspires."
Hey, are you kids watching Play-Mate Of The Apes?
Note: Star Trek The Next Generation is on the SYFY channel as well as WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri
Zombieland full-length trailer #2
There are no zombies in Washington DC because they eat brains
In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis
Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Films
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer. Click here to please Zardoz.
He's Always Russian Around
Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help
What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?
Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency
Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts
If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime? A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days
Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com
Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.
----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------
The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it one of the most expensive movies ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself) Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)
If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.
MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese
Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere) There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision
See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.
This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).
There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.
If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.
"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)
People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.
The drive-in will never die!!!
"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator, Joe Bob
"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton
In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!
Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)
Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2˝˘ worth
Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!
Playboy Magazine has a new edition for married people, the centerfold is the same every month
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!
The chief characteristic of institutions is that if they have a purpose when they are started, it is forgotten as they mature"
Robert M. Hutchins
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking ~~ Amazon.com sucks ~~
International Women's Day was created by The Socialist Party of America in 1909. Soviet Russia proclaimed it in 1922, followed by the United Nations in the 1970s.
In the USA they used paper dollars until the collapse of 2017 when everyone switched to digital beads