These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the SYFY Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...
In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff. John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing
Today's schedule sponsored by Motel Hell, when only the very worst will do
This month, 2017
6/1/1959 Billboard mag. says some teens are using latest technology to tape music off radio instead of buying it
6/1/1967 First non-stop trans-Atlantic flight by a helicopter, by two HH3Es, New York-Paris
6/1/1982 Norfolk and Western merges with Southern Railway, becoming one of five largest railroads in USA
6/1/2014 Ann B. Davis died, the maid in TV's The Brady Bunch (born 5/3/26)
6/1/2014 Tom Rounds died, co-creator/producer of America's Top 40 hosted by Casey Kasem
6/1/2015 Kate Chappell died, special effects artist Game of Thrones and Divergent, killed on safari by lion attack
6/1/1926 Andy Griffith born (actor/singer) died July 3, 2012. Opie's dad in the '60s, Matlock later
6/1 Canadian Forces Day
6/2 Queen's Birthday (New Zealand)
6/2 Ascension Day
6/2/1865 US Civil War ends
6/2/1967 "Race riots" break out in black section of Boston, by the end of the month riots break out in Florida,
Ohio, Georgia and New York. National Guard called in
6/2/2012 Richard Dawson died (79) born 11/20/32. Family Feud host, a Laugh-in and Hogan's Heroes regular
6/3/1808 Jefferson Davis born, Senator for Mississippi (D), US Sec. of War (1853), Pres. of Confederacy,
Confederate Memorial Day in Kentucky, Luisiana and Tennessee
6/3/2016 Muhammad Ali died (74) born January 17, 1942. King of the World (especially in heavyweight boxing)
6/4/1917 First Pulitzer Prizes
6/4/1942 Japan attempts to follow up attack on Pearl Harbor with Midway Islands, but this time the US Navy is
ready and attacks all four Japanese aircraft carriers, destroying them in Battle of Midway
6/5/1947 Marshall Plan created for recovery of Europe
6/5/2004 Former President Ronald Reagan died
6/5/2012 Ray Bradbury (91) died, author/futurist (born August 22, 1920) The Martian Chronicles and Fahrenheit 451
6/5/1783 First balloon flight
6/6/2017 National Drive-In Movie Day, there are only 322 of them left in the USA
6/6/1944 D-Day landing begins before dawn, Hitler doesn't react for 72 hours believing Patton will lead real
attack elsewhere across the English Channel at a narrower point
6/6/1919 Canadian National Railways (CN) incorporated
6/6/2015 Vincent Bugliosi (80) Prosecuted Charles Manson, co-wrote Helter Skelter on the Manson Family murders
6/6/2016 Theresa Saldana died (61) born August 20, 1954. Co-starred in Raging Bull, her career was interupted by
a 1982 knife attack by a stalker, she later starred in a movie about the attack
6/7/1913 Mt. McKinley's highest peak reached three years after 2nd highest peak was climbed by others
6/7/2015 Christopher Lee died (93) born May 27, 1922; last movie released in 2016. He was offered a role in
the 1977 Star Wars movie but recommended his friend Peter Cushing as the Admiral instead
6/8/2015 Mary Ellen Trainor died (64) mom in The Goonies, kidnapped sister in Romancing the Stone, psychatrist in Lethal Weapon movies
6/8/2012 Frank Cady died (96) born September 8, 1915. Mr. Drucker on Green Acres and Petticoat Junction tv-series
6/9 Queen's Birthday (Australia)
6/9/2017 Full Moon, lock Larry Talbut in his room this first day of Summer
6/9/1934 Donald Duck born
6/9/1959 the George Washington launched, first US submarine able to carry and launch Polaris missile
6/9/2017 Adam West died (88) actor best known as 1960's Batman on TV for 3 seasons, and voice of the Mayor in
Seth MacDarlane's "Family Guy" TV-series
6/9/1986 US presidential commission issued its report on the space shuttle Challenger explosion
6/10/1915 Saul Bellow born
6/10/2016 Gordie Howe died (87) born March 31, 1928. 32 years of professional hockey, known as "Mr. Hockey"
6/10/1984 US missile in a test shoots down incoming missile in space for the first time
6/11/1913 Vince Lombardi born
6/11/1976 San Francisco Latin/rock-fusion group Santana's album AMIGOS goes gold
Ron Moody died (91) Fagin in Oliver!, Eastenders, was considered to play Doctor Who, but he turned it down
6/12 Philippine Independence Day
6/12/1929 Anne Frank born, author "The Diary of Anne Frank"
6/12/1973 Dismantling of the Reader RR began, America's last all-steam freight railroad
6/12/1987 President Reagan in Berlin says, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!
6/12/2015 Rick Ducommun died (63) The 'burbs, Groundhog Day, other movies/TV shows in addition to years of stand-up
6/12/2016 Janet Waldo died (96) born February 2, 1920. 60 year career Meet Corliss Archer on the radio, Judy on The Jetsons
6/13/1982 King Khalid of Saudi Arabia died, succeeded by Prince Fahd
6/13/1983 Pioneer 10 passed Neptune, becoming the first object from Earth to leave the solar system
6/14 Flag Day
6/14/1775 U S Army established
6/14/1976 Beatles album Rock N Roll Music released by Capitol after expiration of agreements with Apple, goes gold
6/14/2016 Ann Morgan Guilbert died (87), born October 16, 1928. Millie on The Dick Van Dyke Show, Yetta on The Nanny
6/15 Magna Carta Day (signed in 1215, limiting the King's powers)
6/15/1982 Argentine troops in the Falkland Islands officially surrendered ending the war with Great Britain,
General Galtieri later resigned as president of Argentina and the ruling junta itself eventually collapsed
6/16/1884 First roller coaster completed, relied on gravity alone to keep wheels on rails
6/16/1955 teenage twins Mario & Aldo Andretti arrive in America, within 4 years they were winning races in a
Hudson Hornet until a crash put Aldo in a coma for 2 months and wrecked the car. Aldo recovered but eventually
retired after another crash in 1969. Later, Mario was the youngest driver (at 25) to be named Rookie of the Year
6/17/1970 Poleroid camera patented, self-developing photos
6/17/1967 Communist China exploded its first hydrogen bomb
6/17/1945 Art Bell born, late night radio host "Coast To Coast" until 2007, currently rerun as "Somewhere In Time"
6/18/1815 Napoleon has his Waterloo
6/18/2017 Father's Day (3rd Sunday)
6/18/1986 small passenger plane and a passenger sight-seeing helicopter collided over Grand Canyon, all 25 killed
6/19/1964 Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) begins construction in California, first self-driving passenger trains
6/19/1976 Blue Oyster Cult gets their first hit album, containing song Don't Fear The Reaper
6/19/2016 Anton Yelchin died (27) Russian-born actor best known for playing Chekov in recent two Star Trek films
6/19/2013 Slim Whitman died (89) born January 20, 1924. Guitarist and yodeler better-known in Europe than America
6/20/1977 Alaskan Pipeline born
6/21/2017 Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, the longest day of Summer, Winter Solstice in the South
6/21/1964 Three civil rights workers disappeared in Mississippi (bodies found in August)
6/21/1966 The Rolling Stones sue 14 New York city hotels for publicly banning them for bad behavior
6/21/2001 Australia sets world record heaviest train ever operated
6/21/1982 (35 years ago) John Hinckley JR. found not guilty by reason of insanity of shooting Ronald Reagan and
Jim Brady (who never fully recovered and years later died of his injuries)
6/21/1982 son born to Princess Diana, making him 2nd in line to the throne after his father Prince Charles
6/22/1944 GI Bill Of Rights signed
6/22/2015 James Horner died (61) composer, score of Titanic, Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan, Apollo 13 and Avatar
6/23/2015 Dick Van Patten died (96) Eight is Enough, Mel Brooks movies, brother of Joyce Van Patten
6/22/2016 England (the UK) voted to leave the European Union, liberals freaked out, Prime Minister resigns
6/23/2013 Richard Matheson died (87) born February 20, 1926. Twilight Zone episodes inc Nightmare at 20,000 Feet
6/23/1967 US Senate censures Senator Dodd for using campaign funds for personal use
6/24/2017 Moon completely dark, werewolf threat level low
6/24/1947 First UFO sighting reported in newspapers as "saucer-shaped"
6/24 St. Jean Baptiste Day in Canada
6/24/1949 First western TV-series starts, "Hopalong Cassidy" on NBC
6/24/1983 space shuttle Challenger successfully landed after its 2nd flight, including astronaut Sally Ride
6/25/1942 General Eisenhower takes command of US forces in Europe
6/25/1950 North Korea invades South Korea, triggering war with the United States
6/25/1982 Alexander Haig resigned as US secretary of state
6/25/2015 Patrick Macnee died (93) born February 6, 1922. Steed in The Avengers, 007 film A View To A Kill
6/25/2016 Rollercoaster in England fell 30 feet to the ground, 11 victims, there had been previous "incidents"
6/25/2017 Ramadan begins
6/26/1945 UN charter signed
6/26/1483 Richard III becomes king of England
6/27/1880 Helen Keller born, see Google, which will probably have a doodle
6/27/1968 US nuclear submarine Scorpion disappears with 99 crewmen
6/28/1914 Archduke Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary assassinated, leading to WWI
6/28/1919 World War One officially ended, fighting had ceased on the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918
6/28/2015 Jack Carter died (93) born June 24, 1922. Acerbic comic, appeared on many Friar's Club Roasts
6/29/1956 Federal Aid Highway Act, to connect all 50 states by Interstate Highways
6/29/1949 US troops withdraw from Korea following WW2
6/29/1995 US space shuttle docks with Russian space station for the first time
6/29/1964 Fidel Castro's sister Juanita defects and appears on Mexico City TV station
6/30/1953 First Corvette produced
6/30/1956 two airliners collided over the Grand Canyon, 128 dead
6/30/1977 US Post Office ends regular Railway Post Office (RPO) service on passenger trains in favor of Airmail
6/30/1971 Indian Reservation by Paul Revere and the Raiders become a hit Gold Record
6/30/1971 National voting age lowered from 21 to 18 years old, 26th Ammendment ratified
6/30/1971 three Soyuz cosmonauts found dead after 24 days in space and successful reentry
7/1/1982 WABC-AM radio switches from rock music to talk radio format
7/1/2014 Natoly Kornukov died (72) Soviet-Russian military officer who ordered KAL-007 airliner to be shot down in 1980s
7/1/2015 Sir Nicholas Winton died (106) born May 19, 1909. In 1939, he helped over 600 children flee Czechoslovakia to foster homes in England, part of Kindertransport, before the Nazis closed the borders. Most of the children's parents later died in Nazi camps
7/1/2016 First death in a self-driving car (in May) announced by Tesla, car's camera could not distinguish between side of white semi-trailer and bright sky
7/1 Canada Day, eh? Previously known as Dominion Day (1867 confederation, 150 years ago)
Here's some advice from your friendly stock broker: #1. The market is going up, buy stock because you don’t want to miss out #2. The market is going down, buy stocks because they are cheaper and it’s a great buying opportunity!
6/19/2016 Anton Yelchin died (27) Russian-born actor best known for playing Chekov in recent two Star Trek films and a recent Terminator movie as Kyle Reese. He got out of his car in his driveway when it accidentally rolled crushing him. His family filed suit against Chrysler on August 2 for not issuing a recall for the known defect Google announced new computer keyboard on April 1 2016, for people in Japan addicted to smart phones
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs started on The Movie Channel: TMC schedule
"While other people come upon roadkill and see a dead animal, I see a new hat" Beth Beverly, Taxidermist
Half of the DNA in humans and bananas is the same, does that mean we are all half bananas?
Ray Harryhausen's legendary stop-motion creatures defined blockbuster special effects for decades and inspired entire generations of filmmakers. He died May 7th, 2013 at the age of 92.
Other deaths in 2013 included Tom Laughlin, star of the Bill Jack movies, and Peter O'Toole, costar of Supergirl movie and "My Favorite Year."
Note: Joe Bob's video host segments for "Blood Feast" have been added to the Blood & Donuts page cause I can't remember where I put the transcript for Blood Feast
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff" Frank Zappa Click here for the planet Alderran from the 1st Star Wars movie. The Shadow Knows
Peter Graves of Mission Impossible (TV-series) and the movie Airplane, has died. His son tried to help but to no avail. Walter Koenig's son Andrew, a childstar on "Growing Pains" as Boner, has been found dead of suicide. Members of the cast of Star Trek and Growing Pains have sent their sympathy to the family; he had been treated for depression and went off his meds. Walter Koenig asks that anyone wrestling with depression please get help or call someone
Josh Friedman (the Terminator TV series) is casting for a new Charlie's Angels TV-series on ABC and Moonlight's Alex O'Loughlin is close to an agreement to play the Jack Lord role in a new Hawaii 5-0. NBC has ordered several new pilots to fill the hole in primetime left by Jay Leno returning to the Tonight Show, including a new Rockford Files by the creator of TV's House, and a dramedy starring David Tennant (Who?) called "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" (I hope that's just a working title). American Movie Classics is adapting "The Walking Dead" zombie comic book for a new TV-series on the cable channel known for Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Starz is already running episodes of Sam Raimi's "Spartacus: Blood & Sand," with Lucy Lawless (Xena) as a Roman vamp. Remember Terry O'Quinn from the Monstervision feature Stepfather 2? He's no longer Mr. Nice Guy on the TV-series "Lost." He told TV Guide in January 2010 that in the 6th & final season, his character's "on a mission and he's a dark presence, almost like the devil. The more the others know about him, the more fear he inspires."
Hey, are you kids watching Play-Mate Of The Apes?
Note: Star Trek The Next Generation is on the SYFY channel as well as WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri
Zombieland full-length trailer #2
There are no zombies in Washington DC because they eat brains
In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis
Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Films
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer. Click here to please Zardoz.
He's Always Russian Around
Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help
What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?
Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency
Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts
If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime? A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days
Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com
Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.
----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------
The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it one of the most expensive movies ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself) Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)
If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.
MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese
Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere) There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision
See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.
This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).
There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.
If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.
"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)
People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.
The drive-in will never die!!!
"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator, Joe Bob
"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton
In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!
Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)
Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2˝˘ worth
Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!
Playboy Magazine has a new edition for married people, the centerfold is the same every month
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!
The chief characteristic of institutions is that if they have a purpose when they are started, it is forgotten as they mature"
Robert M. Hutchins
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking ~~ Amazon.com sucks ~~
International Women's Day was created by The Socialist Party of America in 1909. Soviet Russia proclaimed it in 1922, followed by the United Nations in the 1970s.
In the USA they used paper dollars until the collapse of 2017 when everyone switched to digital beads