... I'm Neko, click me to follow your curser
Click me again to stop

Original Monstervision Drive-In page


Monstervision Movie Reviews and Host Segments, and 100% Wierd Listings for your viewing pleasure this month
Monstervision 1997 logo

Welcome to the Mostervision page.

FAQ (frequently asked question): What's the difference between Monstervision on TNT and Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the Sci-Fi channel?
Monster jokes "There are 3 types of people in the world - those who are good at math and those who aren't."

Past movies have included Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, all 3 Poltergeist movies (in a row, the same night), Back to the Future, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Stephen King's The Dead Zone and Christine, and even a couple of films they also made fun of on MST3K...
Following the Monster Vision movie or movies was a film that TNT considers "100% Wierd". Sometimes it has something to do with the evening's selection (2 Godzilla movies were followed by "All Monsters Attack") and sometimes not. Sometimes "100% Wierd" was just a short film, Bigfoot: Man or Beast ... which is about 50% wierd. Or the classic Japanese TV-series Ultra 7, or Gilligan's Island, which is just plain silly. Each summer, Professor Joe Bob Briggs would conduct his own Summer School

These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the SYFY Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...

Books by Joe Bob Briggs are available from his Amazon.com direct link

In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff.
John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing

MonsterVision movies transcripts list so far

Today's schedule sponsored by Motel Hell, when only the very worst will do

This month, 2018

April 1 - If you're still celebrating New Year's Day today, you're an April Fool
4/1/2018 Easter Sunday (Domingo de Resurreccion)
4/1/1954 Bill creating the Air Force Academy signed by President Eisenhower
4/1/1989 Congress proclaims National Model Railroad Day
4/1/1894 The French Ripper, Joseph Vacher, considered cured and released from an asylum, went on a killing spree
4/1/2010 Ed Roberts died, developer of the calculator and computer kits, employed young Bill Gates and Paul Allen in the 1970s
4/1/2010 John Forsythe died, actor "Bachelor Father", Dynasty, and Charlie's voice in Charlie's Angels
4/2/2018 Easter Monday (UK, Canada, Australia, NZ)
4/2/1887 First vestibule passenger train in service, by the Pennsylvania RR
4/2/1939 Marvin Gaye born, singer "Sexual Healing" hit #1 on pop chart 13 times in 17 years
4/2/1805 Hans Christian Andersen born "The Little Mermaid"
4/3/1966 Folk singer Peter Tork plays at The Troubadour in Hollywood after auditioning for NBC's TV series The Monkees
4/3/1974 a series of 148 tornadoes hit 13 states leaving damage over 2500 miles
4/3/1926 Gus Grissom born, first man to fly twice in space as an astronaut, died along with Ed White when Apollo One caught fire inside the capsule on launchpad 1/27/67
4/4/1968 Riots break out in 30 cities after the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr.
4/4/2012 Grumpy Cat born
4/4/1915 Muddy Waters born (d. 4/30/83) singer
4/4/2013 Roger Ebert died, movie critic
4/4/2009 Jody McRea died, played Bonehead in several of Frankie and Annette's "Beach" movies
4/5/1939 Ronnie White born, singer
4/5/1900 Spencer Tracy born (died 10/6/67) actor, Captains Courageous, Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad World
4/5/2012 Thomas Kinkade died, "painted lights" artist
4/6/1937 Merle Haggard born, singer
4/6/1945 Bob Marley born (d. 1981) singer
4/6/1944 Michelle Phillips born, singer The Mamas and the Papas
4/7/2012 Mike Wallace died, newscaster for "60 Minutes"
4/7/1949 John Oates born, singer Hall and Oates "Private Eyes"
4/8/2018 Eastern Orthodox Easter
4/8/1974 Chris Kyle born, US Navy SEAL and author of American Sniper about his Iraq War experience (died 2013)
4/8/2073 Pablo Picasso died, painter, printmaker and sculptor (born 1881)
4/8/1975 Minnie Riperton gets a gold record for Loving You featuring her 5-octave singing and bird calls
4/8/2013 Margaret Thatcher died, former Prime Minister (UK)
4/8/2013 Annette Funicello (70) died, singer actress from Mickey Mouse Club to the Beach movies
4/8/2010 John Schoenherr died, artist who painted hundreds of sci-fi book and magazine covers inc. "Dune"
4/9/2011 Sidney Lumet died (director) 12 Angry Men, Network, The Verdict
4/9/1932 Carl Perkins born, don't step on his blue suede shoes
4/9/2010 Meinhardt Raabe died, the Munchkin coroner who pronounced the witch's sister dead in 1939's Wizard Of Oz
4/9/1945 Dietrich Bonhoeffer executed on orders of Hitler, was a Lutheran pastor and vocal anti-Nazi
4/10/1956 Nat King Cole attacked and severely beaten by white segregationists while onstage in Birmingham, Alabama
4/10/2010 Dixie Carter died, actress "Designing Women" TV-series, wife of Hal Holbrook
4/10/1962 Stuart Sutcliffe died (21), bassist for The Beatles for 2 years
4/11/1957 "Hellcats Of The Navy" premieres, starring Ronald Reagan and Nancy Davis
4/11/1970 Paul McCartney leaves the Beatles citing differences with John and Yoko Ono
4/11/2013 Jonathan Winters died (87) actor/comedian 4/12/2018 Holocaust Remembrance Day
4/12/1954 Bill Haley and the Comets record "Rock Around The Clock," later used in two movies
4/12/1950 David Cassidy born, singer/actor The Partridge Family
4/12/1940 Herbie Hancock born, singer
4/12/1925 Tiny Tim born, singer Tiptoe Through The Tulips
4/12/2009 Marilyn Chambers (model/adult star) died, star of some Ivory Snow TV-commercials before they found out she was a porn star inc. Joe Bob's favorite Behind The Green Door
4/13 Thomas Jefferson birthday (no longer observed)
4/13/1846 Pennsylvania Railroad chartered
4/13/1960 Maj. R.M. White is 1st to pilot X-15 rocket plane
4/13/1965 The Beatles get a Grammy as Best New Artist of 1964
4/13/1946 Al Green born, singer
4/13/2012 Jonathan Frid died, star of TV-series Dark Shadows
4/13/2018 Art Bell died (72) on Friday the 13th, first host of radio's Coast To Coast
4/14/1935 Loretta Lynn born, singer
4/15/2018 New Moon, werewolf threat level green
4/15/1986 US planes bomb Libya in retaliation for terrorist activities
4/15/2013 Terrorist from Saudi Arabia and two Chechens set off two bombs at end of Boston Marathon, 3 dead and over 100 injured
4/15/2018 R. Lee Ermey died (74) award-nominated role as Gunnery Sgt. Hartman in Full Metal Jacket (1987)
4/16/1947 Most of Texas City, TX, destroyed by fire when ship carrying ammonium nitrate exploded, 3500 dead or injured
4/16/1949 Berlin Air Lift delivered 12,940 tons of supplies in 24 hours during Soviet blockade
4/16/1963 Jimmy Osmond born, youngest of the singing Osmond Brothers
4/16/1939 Dusty Springfield born, singer
4/16/2013 Pat Summerall (82) died, sportscaster for CBS and Fox Sports for over 40 years and 16 Super Bowls
4/16/2018 Emancipation Day observed, a legal holiday in the District of Columbia, Internal Revenue closed
4/16/2018 Harry Anderson died (65) best known as Judge Harry Stone on the sitcom Night Court and a recurring conman in Cheers
4/17/2018 Income Tax deadline in USA due to holiday yesterday
4/17/2011 Michael Sarrazin died, actor The Reincarnation of Peter Proud and They Shoot Horses Don't They?
4/17/1970 Paul McCartney releases his first solo album after his temporary break with the Beatles
4/17/2013 Explosion at fertilizer plant in West, Texas, over 100 injured, some dead
4/18/1775 Paul Revere rides to warn the militia that General Gage is on the move
4/18/1880 Marshfield, MO, destroyed by 24 tornadoes in one day
4/18/1934 Burlington Zephyr dedicated, later renamed California Zephyr
4/18/1942 Lt. Col. Doolittle leads 16 bomber raid on Tokyo in retaliation for Pearl Harbor
4/18/2012 Dick Clark died, host of American Bandstand and annual televised New Years Day from New York
4/18/2012 A motorcycle lost in Japan's tidal wave over a year earlier washed up on the west coast of Canada in its storage container 4000 miles away
4/19/1919 1st non-stop flight Chicago-NY
4/19/1933 Jayne Mansfield born, actress known as "The Blonde Bombshell" in 1950s & 1960s, died on 6/29/67 in a car crash
4/19/1775 Skirmish at Lexington, then Concord, Minutemen ambush redcoats & blockade Boston
4/19/1967 Somethin Stupid goes gold, the only hit duet by Frank Sinatra and daughter Nancy Sinatra
4/19/1972 Former school teacher Roberta Flack gets her 1st gold record for The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
4/19/1995 Truck bomb in Oklahoma City damaged over 200 buildings and killed 168 people, 2 were convicted for the bombing
4/19/2011 Elisabeth Sladen died, actress in Doctor Who TV-series for 40 years as Sarah Jane Smith
4/19/2010 George Scithers died, editor of Isaac Asimov Magazine and the new Weird Tales
4/19/2009 J.G. Ballard (author) died, "Empire Of The Sun" novel and movie were based on his life in WW2
4/20/1769 Chief Pontiac of the Ottawa is murdered
4/20/1893 Harold Lloyd born (died 1971), one of most famous comic stars of silent film era
4/20/1959 Puppy Love released, 13 year old Dolly Parton's first song single
4/20/2010 Dorothy Height died (98), civil rights activist with Martin Luther King
4/21/2016 Prince died, enigmatic singer/songwriter, born June 7, 1958. We can't party like it's 1999 anymore
4/22/1938 Glen Campbell born, singer
4/22/1950 Peter Frampton born, singer
4/23/1866 Westinghouse patents first railroad air brake
4/23/1956 Elvis Presley debuts in Las Vegas as opening act for comic Shecky Greene but is fired after 1 week for poor reception, Elvis refuses to return to Vegas for 13 years. Heartbreak Hotel hits #1 on the pop chart the same week in 1956
4/23/1936 Roy Orbison born, singer
4/23/2011 Norio Ohga died (born 1930) inventor of the music CD, later president of Sony
4/24/1962 USAF used an orbiting satellite for 1st time to transmit TV images
4/24/1959 Final broadcast of radio's "Your Hit Parade" featuring popular music since 4/20/35
4/24/1972 John Lennon releases single "Woman Is the Nigger of the World" but radio stations refuse to play it
4/24/1974 Bud Abbott died (76), of comedy team Abbott & Costello
4/25/2018 Secretary's Day, stop chasing her around the desk
4/25/1507 Mapmaker Martin Waldseemuller names the new world "America," the first map to show it as a separate continent
4/25/2010 Dorothy Provine died, actress in movies inc. It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World
4/25/1972 George Sanders died, starred as The Saint and The Falcon in several movies, as Mr. Freeze in 1960s Batman TV-series
4/26/1942 Bobby Rydell born, singer
4/26/1973 Irene Ryan died, movie actress and Granny in TV's The Beverly Hillbillies (born 1902)
4/26/1986 Soviet Russia denies anything unusual at Chernobyl nuclear plant, until radioactive cloud later reaches western Europe
4/26/2011 Phoebe Snow died (born 1950) singer "Poetry Man"
4/26/1970 Gypsy Rose Lee (stripper, actress, writer) died, musical Gypsy based on her life, toured with the USO
4/27/1865 Boiler exploded in Mississippi River boat Sultana near Memphis, over 1500 dead
4/27/1931 Warmest temperature on record for state of Hawaii, 100 degrees F. in Pahala
4/27/1959 Sheena Easton born, singer
4/27/1944 Cuba Gooding born, singer "Everybody Play The Fool" (1972)
4/28/1954 Big Joe Turner's sexually suggestive "Shake Rattle & Roll" hits #3 on R&B chart. A cleaned up version was later a hit for Bill Haley & the Comets
4/28/2011 William Campbell died, actor best known to Star Trek fans as "The Squire of Gothos"
4/29/2018 Full Moon, lock Larry Talbot in his room
4/29/1918 Lt. Eddie Rickenbacker shot down first enemy plane
4/29/1873 Railroad knuckle coupler patented to replace dangerous link-and-pin couplers
4/29/1899 Duke Ellington (jazz great) born, died 5/24/74
4/29/1970 George Harrison of The Beatles releases his 1st solo album
4/29/1976 Singer Bruce Springsteen jumps the fence at Graceland wanting to meet Elvis, he is ejected by security
4/29/1947 Tommy James born, singer
4/30/1900 Casey Jones tells his fireman to jump while he attempts to stop train
4/30/1991 A cyclone hit Bangladesh killing over 130,000 and leaving 9,000,000 homeless
4/30/1933 Willie Nelson born, singer/actor
4/30/1970 Inger Stevens killed herself, star of b/w TV-series The Farmer's Daughter
4/30/1974 Agnes Moorehead died, frequent costar with Orson Welles inc. as Margo in radio's The Shadow starring Welles , mother-in-law Endora in TV's Bewitched
4/30/1956 Vice President and later Senator Barkley died (60) while making a speech, coined term "the Veep"
5/1/1925 Astronaut Scott Carpenter born
5/1/1939 Judy Collins born singer
5/1/1944 Rita Coolidge born singer
5/1/1967 Tim McGraw born, Country singer
5/1/1941 Orson Welles' Citizen Kane premieres in New York
5/1/1957 Larry King's 1st day on the radio, is the caller there?
5/1/1965 Nine records were set by a YF12A interceptor that hit 2062 mph at 80,000 foot altitude
5/1/1971 Amtrak begins operations
5/1/2015 Grace Lee Whitney died (85) born April 1 1930. Yeoman Janice Rand on Star Trek
5/1/1954 Alan Freed hosts his 1st rock concert inc. the Clovers and Muddy Waters, sells out at $2 per ticket
5/1/1967 Elvis Presley marries Priscilla, daughter of an army colonel he met while serving in Germany. She had moved to Graceland at age 16, in a separate house
5/1/1979 Elton John becomes the first pop music star to perform in Israel
5/1/1939 Saudi Arabian crude oil is loaded onto a tanker for the first time, at Ras Tanura
5/1/1776 The Illuminati founded in Bavaria, at least that's what they told me
* "...the Government of the United States... gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance. ...May the children of the Stock of Abraham, who dwell in this land, continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other Inhabitants; while every one shall sit in safety under his own vine and figtree, and there shall be none to make him afraid. May the father of all mercies scatter light and not darkness in our paths, and make us all in our several vocations useful here, and in his own due time and way everlastingly happy." — Letter of George Washington to the Hebrew Congregation in Newport, Rhode Island [1790]

This week's movies on HBO & Cinemax
Check out Area 51 plus the previous 50 Areas

Here's some advice from your friendly stock broker:
#1. The market is going up, buy stock because you don’t want to miss out
#2. The market is going down, buy stocks because they are cheaper and it’s a great buying opportunity!

6/19/2016 Anton Yelchin died (27) Russian-born actor best known for playing Chekov in recent two Star Trek films and a recent Terminator movie as Kyle Reese. He got out of his car in his driveway when it accidentally rolled crushing him. His family filed suit against Chrysler on August 2 for not issuing a recall for the known defect
Google announced new computer keyboard on April 1 2016, for people in Japan addicted to smart phones
The Wizard Of Oz in 5 minutes

As reviewed by a guy stuck in space with two robots named Crow and Tom Servo
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs started on The Movie Channel: TMC schedule
"While other people come upon roadkill and see a dead animal, I see a new hat" Beth Beverly, Taxidermist
Half of the DNA in humans and bananas is the same, does that mean we are all half bananas?

Ray Harryhausen's legendary stop-motion creatures defined blockbuster special effects for decades and inspired entire generations of filmmakers. He died May 7th, 2013 at the age of 92.
Other deaths in 2013 included Tom Laughlin, star of the Bill Jack movies, and Peter O'Toole, costar of Supergirl movie and "My Favorite Year."

Note: Joe Bob's video host segments for "Blood Feast" have been added to the Blood & Donuts page cause I can't remember where I put the transcript for Blood Feast
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff" Frank Zappa
Click here for the planet Alderran from the 1st Star Wars movie. The Shadow Knows
Peter Graves of Mission Impossible (TV-series) and the movie Airplane, has died. His son tried to help but to no avail. Walter Koenig's son Andrew, a childstar on "Growing Pains" as Boner, has been found dead of suicide. Members of the cast of Star Trek and Growing Pains have sent their sympathy to the family; he had been treated for depression and went off his meds. Walter Koenig asks that anyone wrestling with depression please get help or call someone

Josh Friedman (the Terminator TV series) is casting for a new Charlie's Angels TV-series on ABC and Moonlight's Alex O'Loughlin is close to an agreement to play the Jack Lord role in a new Hawaii 5-0. NBC has ordered several new pilots to fill the hole in primetime left by Jay Leno returning to the Tonight Show, including a new Rockford Files by the creator of TV's House, and a dramedy starring David Tennant (Who?) called "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" (I hope that's just a working title). American Movie Classics is adapting "The Walking Dead" zombie comic book for a new TV-series on the cable channel known for Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Starz is already running episodes of Sam Raimi's "Spartacus: Blood & Sand," with Lucy Lawless (Xena) as a Roman vamp. Remember Terry O'Quinn from the Monstervision feature Stepfather 2? He's no longer Mr. Nice Guy on the TV-series "Lost." He told TV Guide in January 2010 that in the 6th & final season, his character's "on a mission and he's a dark presence, almost like the devil. The more the others know about him, the more fear he inspires."
Hey, are you kids watching Play-Mate Of The Apes?
There are former MonsterVision movies on the following entire-month channel's pages. Whenever possible, I have made the movie titles on these pages MonsterVision review/host segments links:
American Movie Classics ... Turner Classic Movies ... A&E ... History Channel ... Independent Film Channel ... Encore ... Starz ... Starz in Black ... Starz Edge ... Starz Comedy ... Encore's Mystery ... Drama and Action Channels and Wam ... HBO & Cinemax ... Showtime ... Showtime's Flix Channel ... The Movie Channel ... Showtime's Family Zone and Sundance ... Showtime #2 (Showtime Too), Showtime Showcase, Showtime Extreme, Showtime Beyond, Showtime Women ... Showtime Next. Showtime HD appears to be the same as Showtime ... Starz Cinema ... Starz HDTV ... Encore Westerns ... MoviePlex ... RetroPlex ... Starz Kids & Family and Encore's Love Channel ... SciFi Channel movies & TV-marathons ... USA Network movies. Bravo!
Fox Movie Channel no longer has monthly listings, just a non-text daily list on their flash website
See Dinner & A Movie page for upcoming TBS Dinner & A Movie (Fridays), Movie & A Makeover (Saturdays), TBS Movie Extra (Thursdays & Sundays)

Note: Star Trek The Next Generation is on the SYFY channel as well as WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri

Zombieland full-length trailer #2

There are no zombies in Washington DC because they eat brains

I don't care what you've heard, most of Air America Radio's programs are still on the air

In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis

Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Films
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling
ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer. Click here to please Zardoz.

He's Always Russian Around

Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help

What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?

Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:

John Wayne's opinion of gun control
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency

Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts

If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime?
A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days

Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com

Make your own banners completely free of charge at IntantBannerCreator.com

Previous MonsterVision listings here (in 2010)

Review Me

Monstervision's 100% Weird

A full-color recreation of Joe Bob's Saturday Night homepage (1999/2000) is now viewable. The links all work now, I think.
BBC will stop playing April Fools Day pranks when penguins fly

Yes, that's Terry Jones of Monty Python as the host, 2008
How it was created

Of course, April is also the month of the annual Spaghetti Harvest

Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.

Check out the new ad for Indiana Jones 4 (2008)

MST3K is Back!   - RiffTrax

More weird videos posted at the Ripley's Believe It Or Not pages

1980s eps of Knight Rider have moved to MyRTN: Retro Television Network, available in 40 states so far

Click Here if you don't know what "Click Here" means
Click here if you think your job sucks. What's up, Tiger Lily?

MonsterVision Bios of Joe Bob and Honey the Mail Girl. And of course, Professor Joe Bob also has his own Q&A page

Joe Bob Briggs interview (January 2006) page 1, page 2...Interview with Mike Nelson of MST3000

----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------

The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it one of the most expensive movies ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself)
Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)

Ed Wood (with Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi, as he was filming Plan 9 from Outer Space) is seen occasionally on AMC's sister station, Independent Film Channel

Joe Bob Briggs interview from November 2006 is now archived online

You've heard about it, check it out for yourself. The George Orwell spoof: Why 2008 won't be like 1984 put together by a fan of Obama

Clip posted at YouTube: Bob Denver intros Mysterious Island for TNT's MonsterVision

If this link doesn't work it's not my fault (no pathetic excuses)

Would you like to have Joe Bob speak at
your next meeting or corporate event?
Fill out this form, so that he can get back
to you with all the exciting details!

Aslan Take them The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe theatrical trailers swiped from
have been moved to the new
Chronicles of Narnia movie page
Aslan is on the move. Sequels coming soon

Check out Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 & 3 or the Flying Dutchman may get you with its kracken

Golden Age of Radio online including The Shadow and Doc Savage

Happy Halloween from Dr. Loomis
Webmasters, feel free to link to this entire page - http://www.Monstervision.org
There will never be popups or popunders here, though I do enjoy a good apple popover now and then if its cooked right

Remember, it's just Five Million Years To Earth

If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.

MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese

Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere)
There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision

Joe Bob's unlisted phone numberClick here for Joe Bob's secret home phone number

This vast website devoted to Monstervision built and maintained by half-vast fans

Best movies ever made by Japanese guys in monster suits...with links to Monstervision's host segments for "Godzilla" and "Godzilla vs Mothra" (Joe Bob just loved the tiny women who sing to Mothra)

A word from God

Big Trouble In Little China fans, for a free computer game based on your favorite movie, go to the Big Trouble In Little China computer game on the Wingkong.net fan website for free download. And don't worry if you don't get the rules right away, you weren't brought into this world to get it, Mr. Burton.
And here's Kurt Russell's opinion of Osama Bin Ladin.
Email: scifans@gmail

Click here to sign up for a weekly Email from Joe Bob, news you can't use, guaranteed. Want to drop Joe Bob a note? Send email to joebob@joebobbriggs.com

Longer version of that music the Phantom plays on a pipe organ

Click here for Christine (the movie review & host segments, not the demon-possessed car from Hell itself)

Or visit Boris Karloff, he's lonely

Kolchak, the Night Stalker page

Lock your doors, lock your windows, and click here for the "Halloween" movies

Halloween is 20 years old, happy birthday!

Animated graphics © 2003 by The Animation Factory.

Be vewy vewy qwiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Bad, bad talking-cat

® Monstervision is a registered trademark of nobody

This electric site
Help keep this on a popup-free website. Buy something from our sponsors!
Click here to hear your computer scream again

Or here for Return of the Living Dead

Please note: this website is for intelligent people, not this guy
Was that the boogie-man?

Guess who's coming to dinner

Welcome to the party, pal

Monstervision Error 404 Page (it's fun)

See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.

Episodes of Wierd Science can be seen on Starz channel "Wam" What do you little maniacs want to do first?

The Visitors are coming to the Sci-Fi Channel in a remake of "V" with Robert Englund of Nightmare On Elm Street as a "friendly" alien

Greetings from The Visitors

Hamster Dance!

Or visit the Neko homepage

Click here if you want to be a spammer

Note: if you want to printout this page, be sure your printer is set to black ink & no background. And that it has ink in it. And paper


What was the question again?

42% of all statistics are fake

10 Reasons Not To Kill George Bush

Your uncle was a monkey, swinging through the trees
Or don't you believe in Human origins?

Willard! There are rats in the basement!

"The majority is always wrong" - Steve McQueen
Terrorists are not cowards, they're the enemy...Annihilate them
Joe Bob Briggs

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and ookie, they're altogether spooky, the Addams Family.

It's A Joke, Son (256k video mp4)

Important Note: This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).

There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.

If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.

"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)

People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.

The drive-in will never die!!!

"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator,
Joe Bob

"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton

Many more blonde jokes

The latest blond joke is in the Miss Teenage America contest from someplace on the maps known as Carolina (not near Asian countries or the Iraq) and all of you U.S. Americans can see it here

What's the difference between Congress and a clown college? Some people still respect clowns

Heroes of 9/11 and 3000 Names

This page © the great and powerful Bill Laidlaw. Coca Cola has been 100% cocaine-free since 1929, when they replaced it with caffeine.

In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!

Legal crap for this world wide website

Happy New Year from my cat
Fun fact: As of 1995, Yahoo.com had a indexed over 15,000 websites!

Some graphics on this page are from the Angelfire Graphics Library...That's the fact, Jack

Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)

Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2˝˘ worth

Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!

Playboy Magazine has a new edition for married people, the centerfold is the same every month
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!

The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun
Ralph Nader (1980)
Sometimes it's hard to get a Taxi

Save the Sea Kittens
Is government a necessary evil or just plain evil?
"The nincompoops in my audience greatly outnumber the compoops"
Brother Theodore Gottlieb (1996) The Late Show
The chief characteristic of institutions is that if they have a purpose when they are started, it is forgotten as they mature"
Robert M. Hutchins
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking
~~ Amazon.com sucks ~~
International Women's Day was created by The Socialist Party of America in 1909. Soviet Russia proclaimed it in 1922, followed by the United Nations in the 1970s.
In the USA they used paper dollars until the collapse of 2017 when everyone switched to digital beads
eXTReMe Tracker