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Monstervision Movie Reviews and Host Segments, and 100% Wierd Listings for your viewing pleasure this month
Monstervision 1997 logo

Welcome to the Mostervision page.

FAQ (frequently asked question): What's the difference between Monstervision on TNT and Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the Sci-Fi channel?
Monster jokes "There are 3 types of people in the world - those who are good at math and those who aren't."

Past movies have included Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, all 3 Poltergeist movies (in a row, the same night), Back to the Future, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Stephen King's The Dead Zone and Christine, and even a couple of films they also made fun of on MST3K...
Following the Monster Vision movie or movies was a film that TNT considers "100% Wierd". Sometimes it has something to do with the evening's selection (2 Godzilla movies were followed by "All Monsters Attack") and sometimes not. Sometimes "100% Wierd" was just a short film, Bigfoot: Man or Beast ... which is about 50% wierd. Or the classic Japanese TV-series Ultra 7, or Gilligan's Island, which is just plain silly. Each summer, Professor Joe Bob Briggs would conduct his own Summer School

These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the SYFY Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...

Books by Joe Bob Briggs are available from his Amazon.com direct link

In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff.
John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing

MonsterVision movies transcripts list so far



                  On TV, Cable & Satellite (EST, subtract 3 hours for Pacific for some feeds)
Saturday 2/28/15
6am        The Window (a boy known for lying witnesses a murder)                      Turner Classic Movies
8am        Saw 6 & Saw 7                                                              ChillerTV
7:15       Night Must Fall (1937)                                                     Turner Classic Movies
9:15       Kind Lady (1951, an old lady is held by home invaders)                     Turner Classic Movies
10:45      Wait Until Dark (1967, blind woman vs home invaders at night)              Turner Classic Movies
12:45      The Narrow Margin (1952, gangster on a train)                              Turner Classic Movies
1pm        Young Guns & Young Guns 2 (Emilio Estevez, Lou Diamond Phillips)           American Movie Classics
2pm        Hitchcock's Strangers On A Train (1951, let's trade murders)               Turner Classic Movies
3:45       Hitchcock's Shadow Of A Doubt (1943, my visiting uncle might be a killer)  Turner Classic Movies
6pm        Jaws (a past Monstervision movie)                                          American Movie Classics
6:15       The Fugitive (Harrison Ford vs Tommy Lee Jones)                            Sundance
6:30       6 Souls                                                                    SYFY channel
6:45       Step Brothers (2008)                                                       Comedy Central
7pm        American President (Michael Douglas, a past Monstervision movie)           POP
7:15       Last Vegas (2013)                                                          Showtime
8pm        Little Nicky (Adam Sandler is Satan's spawn)                               Encore
8pm        Inglourious Basterds (2009)                                                IFC
8pm & 10pm Clueless (1995)                                                            Bravo
8pm & 10:30  Wanted (2008, a society of assassins)                                    FXX
8pm & 10pm Good Witch (new ep, 2 hour)                                                Hallmark channel
8:30       300: Rise of an Empire (2014, the Muslim army continues its invasion)      HBO-2
9pm        Jaws 2 and Jaws 3                                                          American Movie Classics
9pm        The Notebook (2004, James Garner)                                          ABC Family
9pm        Evan Almighty (2007 sequel to Bruce Almighty)                              E!
9pm        The Musketeers (new ep)                                                    BBC America
9pm        The Rocker (2008)                                                          Comedy Central
9pm        Black Sails (new ep)                                                       Starz
9pm        1408 (and you thought you had a tough night)                               SYFY channel
9pm        Tamara (2005, dead teen returns)                                           The Movie Channel
9:35       Coyote Ugly (2000)                                                         Encore
9:45       Man Of Steel (2013)                                                        HBO
10pm       The Marine (2006, a Marine's wife is kidnapped, they don't know what's coming) Cinemax
10pm       Austin Powers (Mike Myers)                                                 VH1
10:15 & 1am  The Graham Norton Show (new ep)                                          BBC America
10:30      A Few Good Men (1992, you can't handle the truth)                          Turner Classic Movies
11:15      Doctor Who: Day Of The Doctor (2013, John Hurt as The Doctor in war)       BBC America
1:45       Jaws The Revenge (a past Monstervision movie)                              American Movie Classics
2am        Doctor Who: Asylum of the Daleks (2012)                                    BBC America
3am        Doctor Who: Dinosaurs On A Spaceship (2012)                                BBC America
4am        Doctr Who: A Town Called Mercy (2012, a killer cyborg in the old west)     BBC America
4am        The Fisher King (Jeff Bridges, Robin Williams)                             Turner Classic Movies
Sunday 3/1/15
6:30       Gold Diggers of 1933 (Joan Blondell, Ruby Keeler)                          Turner Classic Movies
12pm       Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion (2005, David Tennant)                   BBC America
12:30      Jaws (they're gonna need a bigger boat)                                    American Movie Classics
2pm        The Music Man (1962, conman falls in love, sequel was The Last Starfighter) Turner Classic Movies
3:30       Jaws 2 (they're gonna need another boat)                                   American Movie Classics
5pm        Doctor Who: Blink (blink and you're dead)                                  BBC America
5:20       The Mummy & The Mummy Returns (2001)                                       USA Network
5:30       Argo (2012)                                                                FX
5:50       007 in For Your Eyes Only                                                  Encore
6pm        Doctor Who: Silence In The Library (2 hour, deadly creatures take over)    BBC America
6pm        Crank (2006)                                                               ION
6pm        They Wait (2007)                                                           LMN
6pm & 10pm Braveheart (1995)                                                          Sundance
6:10       Veronica Mars (2014)                                                       Cinemax
6:10       Endless Love                                                               HBO
6:30       1408 (2007)                                                                SYFY channel
8pm        007 in From Russia With Love (Sean Connery)                                Encore
8pm        Ender's Game (2013)                                                        Cinemax
8pm        Once Upon A Time (new ep, three Disney villains join forces)               ABC
8pm        The Simpsons (new ep)                                                      Fox
8pm        Zero Dark 30 (2012)                                                        FX
8pm        The Princess Bride (1987)                                                  POP
8:45       Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)                                        IFC
9pm        The Walking Dead & The Talking Dead (new eps)                              American Movie Classics
9pm        Ax Men & Superstition Mountains (new eps)                                  History channel
9pm        Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)                                           SYFY channel
9:45       Pacific Rim (see plot of Godzilla, Transformers, Battleship...)            HBO-2
10pm       13 Going on 30                                                             POP
10pm       Deliver Us From Evil (2014)                                                Starz
10:15      Chicago (2002, the roaring 20s and gangsters set to music)                 Turner Classic Movies
10pm       007 in Goldfinger (a plot to rob Fort Knox takes a deadly twist)           Encore
12:20am    Doctor Who: Planet Of The Dead (2009, a doubledeck bus goes thru a black hole) BBC America
5:30       San Francisco (1936, Clark Gable in the earthquake & fire)                 Turner Classic Movies
Monday 3/2/15
9am        Missing In Action 2 (Chuck Norris rescues MIAs from Vietnam)               American Movie Classics
10am       The Hurricane (1937, Dorothy Lamour)                                       Turner Classic Movies
11am       Ladder 49 (2004, Joaquin Phoenix)                                          American Movie Classics
11:45      The Last Voyage (1960, Robert Stack on a sinking passenger liner)          Turner Classic Movies
1:30       Titanic (spoiler alert: it sinks)                                          American Movie Classics
1:30       Them! (1954, giant mutant ants take over)                                  Turner Classic Movies
3:30       The Swarm (1978, Michael Caine vs killer bees invading the US)             Turner Classic Movies
6pm        The Poseidon Adventure (1972, Shelley Winters, Gene Hackman)               Turner Classic Movies
6:30       Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn (2011)                                        FX
6:30       Predator (Schwarzenegger vs a nasty alien hunter) followed by sequel       SYFY channel
7pm & 12am Jurassic Park (what could possibly go wrong?)                              American Movie Classics
7pm        Tears of the Sun                                                           WGN America
7:30       The Expendables 2 (2012)                                                   Spike
8pm        Gotham & The Following (new eps)                                           Fox
8pm        007 in Live & Let Die (drug lord & a voodoo cult)                          Encore
8pm        13 Going on 30 (2004, female version of Big)                               POP
8pm        Lord Of The Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (2001)                           Turner Classic Movies
9pm        The Purge (2013, the government declares crime legal once a year)          Cinemax
9pm        Analyze This (1999, Robert DeNiro, Billy Chrystal)                         Starz
10:05      Point Break (Keanu Reeves as a surfing FBI agent)                          Encore
11:15      Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers (2002)                                   Turner Classic Movies
2:30am     Lord Of The Rings: Return of the King (2003)                               Turner Classic Movies
4am        Teen Wolf (Michael J Fox, 1985)                                            American Movie Classics
Tuesday 3/3/15
10am       Titanic (1997)                                                             American Movie Classics
12:10pm    Guns Of The Magnificent Seven (1969)                                       Encore Westerns
5pm & 2:30am  The Legend Of Zorro (2005, Antonio Banderas)                            American Movie Classics
6:30       Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011, wreckage is found by Apollo 11)      FX
6:35       Spider-Man 2 (2014, vs Electro)                                            Starz
7:30       Armageddon (Michael Bey movie about an asteroid headed for Earth. Bruce Willis) Cinemax
7:45       Stephen King's Misery (1990, Kathy Bates has a new houseguest...forever)   Sundance
8pm        Smokey & the Bandit (1977, Burt Reynolds)                                  CMT
8pm        007 in A View To A Kill (1985)                                             Encore
8pm        Fresh Off The Boat (new ep)                                                ABC
8pm        Gladiator (2000, Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix)                           American Movie Classics
8pm        Dazed & Confused (1993, set in 1976)                                       IFC
8:05       Four Brothers (2005, they set out to find mom's killer)                    Showtime 2
8:30       Down To Earth (2001)                                                       Oxygen
9pm        Marvel's Agents of SHIELD (Skye has developed powers)                      ABC
10pm       Forever (new ep)                                                           ABC
11:30      Air Force One (terrorists get on president Harrison Ford's plane)          American Movie Classics
12:30am    No Country For Old Men (2007, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin)                Turner Classic Movies
Wednesday 3/4/15
6am        Bucket Of Blood (1959, a sculptor makes statues out of his victims)        Turner Classic Movies
7:15       The Black Sheep (Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney Jr, mad doctor creates freaks)    Turner Classic Movies
8:45       The Brain That Wouldn't Die (a past Monstervision & MST3000 feature)       Turner Classic Movies
11:30am    Tremors (1990, Kevin Bacon battles giant carnivorous sand worms)           American Movie Classics
12pm       Dementia 13 (1963, the last survivor inherits it all)                      Turner Classic Movies
1:30       Last Man On Earth (1964, Vincent Price vs. zombies)                        Turner Classic Movies
1:30pm     Air Force One (1997, Harrison Ford)                                        American Movie Classics
3pm        Spider-Baby (1967, Lon Chaney Jr)                                          Turner Classic Movies
4:30       Equinox (1970, friends on a picnic attacked by a demon)                    Turner Classic Movies
4:30       Gladiator (2000)                                                           American Movie Classics
6pm        Night Of The Lepus (DeForest Kelley, Janet Leigh vs. 400 lb mutant rabbits) Turner Classic Movies
7pm        Snow White & the Huntsman (2012)                                           FX
7pm        Descent (let's explore this spooky cave) followed by the 2009 sequel       SYFY channel
7:15       16 Blocks (2006)                                                           Cinemax
7:25       Fun With Dick & Jane (2005, husband & wife criminals)                      Starz
7:30       Wonderful World Of Tupperware (1959 short)                                 Turner Classic Movies
8pm        007 in From Russia With Love (Sean Connery)                                Encore
8pm        Under Seige (1992, Steven Seagal vs terrorists on a Navy ship)             American Movie Classics
8pm        Sherlock (2 hour, first of the series)                                     BBC America
8pm        Legally Blonde 2 (2003)                                                    CMT
8pm        Rambo 4 (2008, in Burma)                                                   IFC
8pm        Bad Boys (1995, what ya gunna do?)                                         Oxygen
8pm        Taxi (2004)                                                                POP
8pm        Mob Wives (new ep)                                                         VH1
8pm & 10pm The Lost Boys (a town full of vampires, 1987)                              Sundance
9pm        The Talented Mr Ripley (1999, Matt Damon, Jude Law)                        HBO
10pm       CSI: Cyber (new ep, new series)                                            CBS
10pm       From Dusk till Dawn (1996, vampires run an all-night bar)                  IFC
10pm       The Americans (new ep)                                                     FX
10:05      The Lone Ranger (2013, with Johnny Depp as Tonto of the Caribbean)         Starz
10:30      Out For Justice (1991, Steven Seagal)                                      American Movie Classics
12:30am    We Were Soldiers (Mel Gibson, 400 US troops surrounded in 1965 Vietnam)    American Movie Classics
3:30 & 10am  Cop Land (1997, Stallone, Harvey Keitel, Ray Liotta)                     American Movie Classics
4:15       Super Sleuth (1937, a movie detective decides to try the real thing)       Turner Classic Movies
Thursday 3/5/15
8am        Hollywood My Hometown (1965, host Ken Murray)                              Turner Classic Movies
9am        The 7th Victim (1943, Kim Hunter vs. evil Satanists)                       Turner Classic Movies
12:15      A Matter of Life & Death (1947, Kim Hunter, David Niven)                   Turner Classic Movies
12:30pm    We Were Soldiers (Mel Gibson with US troops surrounded by 2000 Viet Cong)  American Movie Classics
2:15       A Streetcar Named Desire (1951, Brando, Karl Malden, Vivien Leigh)         Turner Classic Movies
3:30       Out For Justice (1991, Steven Seagal)                                      American Movie Classics
5:30       Under Seige (1992, Steven Seagal vs terrorists on a Navy ship)             American Movie Classics
6pm        Planet Of The Apes (1968, Charlton Heston, ending written by Rod Serling)  Turner Classic Movies
6:25       You, Me & Dupree                                                           Cinemax
6:30       Pulp Fiction (Samuel L Jackson, John Travolta)                             IFC
6:30       Troy (2004) followed by The 300                                            Spike
6:55       Rocky (1976, Stallone, first in the movie series)                          Starz
7:15       The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)                                 HBO
7:30       Fast Five (2011, in Rio)                                                   USA Network
8pm & 10pm Jurassic Park 3 (Sam Neill leads a rescue mission back to the island)      American Movie Classics
8pm        Rio (2011, animated)                                                       Disney channel
8pm        007 in Thunderball (1965, Sean Connery)                                    Encore
8pm        US Marshalls (1998, Tommy Lee Jones sequel to The Fugitive)                Esquire
8pm        Mighty Joe Young (1998 remake)                                             The Movie Channel
8:25       Legally Blonde (2001)                                                      Showtime
8:30       Next Day Air (2009, a handy way to deliver drugs)                          Showtime 2
9pm        The Blacklist & Allegiance (new eps)                                       NBC
9pm        Deliver Us From Evil (2014)                                                Starz
10pm       American Crime (new ep)                                                    ABC
10pm       Archer (animated, new ep)                                                  FX
10pm       Elementary (new ep, Holmes may be a murder suspect himself)                CBS
10pm       Undercover Boss (new ep)                                                   OWN
10pm       Wizard Wars (new ep, Penn & Teller)                                        SYFY channel
10pm       Around the World in 80 Days (Jackie Chan's remake)                         The Movie Channel
10pm       Dig (new ep)                                                               USA Network
10:30      Flightplan                                                                 Encore
11:30      Airport 1970 (a mad bomber plots to blow up an airliner enroute)           Turner Classic Movies
Friday 3/6/15
6am        Flying High (1931, Bert Lahr invents an airplane but can't land it)        Turner Classic Movies
3:15pm     Boiler Room (2000)                                                         IFC
5:30       Zero Dark 30 (2012)                                                        FX
6:45       Fast & the Furious 6 (in London, 2013)                                     HBO
7:15       The 13th Warrior (1999)                                                    Showtime 2
7:55       Jarhead (2005)                                                             Cinemax
8pm        007 in For Your Eyes Only (1981)                                           Encore
8pm        Mysteries At The Castle (new eps)                                          Travel channel
8pm        Braveheart (1995, Mel Gibson as a 13th century Scottish warrior rebel)     American Movie Classics
8pm        A Knight's Tale (2001)                                                     BBC America
8pm        The Parent Trap (1998)                                                     CMT
8:45       Burn After Reading (2008)                                                  IFC
9pm        12 Monkeys & Helix (new eps)                                               SYFY channel
9pm        Cowboys & Aliens (2011, Daniel Craig vs. UFOs)                             TNT
9pm        In An Instant (new, 2 hour)                                                ABC
9pm        Bad Boys (1995)                                                            Bravo
9pm        Argo (2012)                                                                FX
10pm       Final Destination 2                                                        MTV
10pm       Flashdance (Jennifer Beals)                                                POP
10pm       Dark Skies (2013, Keri Russell)                                            Showtime 2
10pm       Banshee (new ep)                                                           Cinemax
10pm       The Soup (new ep)                                                          E!
10pm       Edge of Tomorrow (2014)                                                    HBO-2
Saturday 3/7/15
8am        An Act of Murder (1948)                                                    Turner Classic Movies
10am       The Electrical Brain (1943, a mad scientist turning people into zombies)   Turner Classic Movies
10:30      Carry On Spying (1964 spy spoof)                                           Turner Classic Movies
2pm        A Face in the Crowd (1957, Andy Griffith isn't nice)                       Turner Classic Movies
4:15       Psycho (1960, everyone goes a little mad sometimes)                        Turner Classic Movies
6:15       Doctor Strangelove (1964, Peter Sellers)                                   Turner Classic Movie
8pm        Roman Holiday (1953, Gregory Peck, Audrey Hepburn)                         Turner Classic Movies
2:30am     The Visitor (1979, don't mess with a telekinetic girl)                     Turner Classic Movies
4:30       Tentacles (1977, a giant octopus attacks a small seaside town, Shelley Winters) Turner Classic Movies
6:15       A Guy Named Joe (1943, Spielberg always loved this film)                   Turner Classic Movies

Today's TV schedule sponsored by Motel Hell, when only the very worst will do

                                               This month, February 2015
3/1/1918 Congress finally passes Standard Time Act, recognizing Standard Time Zones created by the railroads
3/1/1872 Yellowstone National Park established
3/1/61 Peace Corps founded
3/1/46 General Spaatz designated Commander, AAF
3/1/65 Petula Clark's 1st US hit "Downtown" goes gold
3/1/57 Harry Belafonte's Banana Boat Song (Day-O) hits the British chart and sets off a British calypso craze
3/1/44 Roger Daltrey born, volatile lead singer for the Who and star of movie "McVicar" (1980)
3/2/64 The Beatles begin work on their 1st feature film "A Hard Day's Night"
3/2/67 Grammy Awards include Frank Sinatra's Strangers In The Night, two Paul McCartney songs, New Vaudeville Band's 1920s-tyle Winchester Cathedral, and Neal Hefti's Batman TV themesong
3/2/74 Stevie Wonder wins five Grammys for Innervisions, Superstition, and You Are The Sunshine Of My Life
3/2/65 The Sound Of Music movie opens, eventually grossing more money than any previous movie and even sung by Lady Gaga in 2015
3/2/65 Rolling Thunder offensive begins in Vietnam War
3/2/50 Karen Carpenter born (d. 2/4/83) of singing duo The Carpenters "Close To You" until her death from weight-obsession
3/2/44 Lou Reed born, singer once bitten on his butt by a fan onstage, the fan was ejected from the concert
3/3/1857 Telephone patent granted, though inventor Alexander Graham Bell eventually had it removed from his house because it interruped his experiments
3/3/54 The Drifters' 2nd hit "Such A Night" hits #5 and is also released in April by white singer Johnie Ray, then is banned in May for the sexually suggestive "Just the thought of your kiss sets me afire, I reminisce and I'm filled with desire"
3/3/23 Time Magazine first published
3/4/1837 City of Chicago incorporated
3/4/52 Ronald & Nancy Reagan married
3/4/66 F-4c Phantoms attacked by MIG17 in 1st air combat over Vietnam
3/4/66 John Lennon tells a London newspaper "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink...We're more popular than Jesus Christ right now."
3/5/15 Full Moon, lock Larry Talbut in his room
3/5/1770 British soldiers attacked by mob, open fire on them, The Boston Massacre
3/5/66 Sgt. Barry Sadler's "The Ballad of the Green Berets" replaces Nancy Sinatra's These Boots Are Made For Walking as #1 pop single
3/5/63 Patsy Cline and 2 other country singers killed in single-engine plane crash enroute from St. Louis, where they had performed a benefit for the widow of Cactus Jack Call (killed in a car crash)
3/5/82 John Belushi (33) dies of drug overdose after 2 flop movies in which he played non-comedy roles, not living to costar in the sequel to his popular Blues Brothers movie
3/5/58 Andy Gibb born, singer with older brothers Barry, Robin & Maurice, (the Bee Gees) released his 1st solo album in 1978
3/5/48 Eddy Grant born
3/6/1836 Fall of the Alamo, San Antonio, Texas
3/6/44 600 bombers attack Berlin in 1st major raid of the city
3/6/70 The Beatles' album Hey Jude goes gold, Charles Manson releases his own record album to finance his defense in the Tate-LaBianca murder trial
3/6/72 The Immigration Dept. cancels John Lennon's visa, the following month New York's mayor demands that his deportation be halted
3/6/76 The Very Best Of Slim Whitman album hits #1 on British pop chart
3/6/44 Mary Wilson born, founding member of The Supremes
3/6/82 Willie Nelson's version of Elvis Presley's Always On My Mind (1972) enters the pop chart and later hits #1 on C&W chart, winning a Grammy
3/7/33 Game of Monopoly invented but game manufacturers not interested so is self-published
3/7/56 Carl Perkins Blue Suede Shoes becomes the 1st Country & Western song to also be a hit on the R&B chart
3/7/70 Simon & Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water is #1 album on pop chart in both US & Britain
3/7/46 Peter Wolf born, singer The J. Geils Band
3/8 International Women's Day, congratulations to international women
3/8/69 The Beatles self-titled album is replaced as #1 on pop chart by Glen Campbell's Wichita Lineman, it went gold the previous November
3/8/45 Mickey Dolenz born, singer The Monkees and actor "Circus Boy" TV-series, "Piranha 2" movie
3/8/73 Pigpen McKernan, founding member of The Grateful Dead (27) died of cirrhosis from heavy drinking
3/8/15 Daylight Saving Time begins just after midnight early this morning, turn your clock sideways. In a recent poll, most women said they plan to sleep an extra hour and most men said they want an extra hour of sex. So try not to wake her up
3/9/1775 Daniel Boone begins to cut Wilderness Road to Kentucky
3/9/1847 First post office west of the Rockies opens, Astoria, Oregon
3/9/45 Over 300 B-29s firebomb Tokyo in night raid, by morning 1/4 of city is destroyed and over 100,000 dead - more than were later killed by either of the atomic explosions in Hiroshima or Nagasaki
3/9/69 The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour is cancelled after on-air censorship of singer Joan Baez
3/9/72 Barbra Streisand, Carole King & James Taylor perform a fund-raiser for Democratic candidate George McGovern, starting a trend by pop stars
3/9/76 "A Night At The Opera" is Queen's 1st gold record in the US, inc. 6 minute song Bohemian Rhapsody
3/9/42 Mark Lindsay born, lead singer for Paul Revere & the Raiders (Indian Reservation)
3/10/59 Elvis Presley's "I Need Your Love Tonight" sells a million copies within 24 hours of release, RCA sends the official gold record to him in West Germany c/o the US Army
3/10/72 "America" album by America (two US "Army brats" who grew up in England), goes gold. Two weeks later their top single also goes gold
3/10/1876 First telephone call, no busy signal
3/11/68 Otis Redding's "Dock Of The Bay" goes gold and hits #1 on both the pop and R&B charts 3 months after his death
3/11/71 TV's Partridge Family gets the 2nd of 5 hit records when "Doesn't Somebody Want To Be Wanted" goes gold
3/11/11 Massive tidal wave hits Japan causing widespread damage inc. a nuclear power plant
3/11/1818 Frankenstein first published, no book publisher was interested so she self-published first 1000 copies
3/11/1847 John Chapman (Johnny Appleseed) died
3/12/69 Paul McCartney marries Linda in a London Register's office with McCartney's brother as best man
3/12/74 John Lennon ejected from a Los Angeles club for heckling comedian Tommy Smothers
3/12/1912 Girl Scouts of America founded
3/12/1896 "Lone-Cat" Fuller born (d. 1976) according to Rolling Stone mag
3/12/48 James Taylor born, singer
3/13/64 The top 4 rock & roll singles are all by the Beatles. Billboard magazine estimates that 60% of single sales are by The Beatles
3/13/39 Neil Sedaka born, singer/song writer
3/13/1677 Province of Maine sold to John Usher
3/14/65 The Beatles are replaced as #1 on the album pop chart by the Mary Poppins movie soundtrack album, which itself is knocked off #1 the following week by the Goldfinger movie soundtrack album
3/14/81 Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" used in the movie, hits #1 on the pop chart
3/14/33 Quincy Jones, music producer born
3/14/1879 Albert Einstein born
3/15/56 Col. Tom Parker becomes Elvis Presley's manager. Had previously handled Hank Snow, Gene Autry & Eddy Arnold
3/15/66 Grammy Awards include Roger Miller's King Of The Road and A Taste Of Honey album by Herb Albert & The Tijuana Brass
3/15/72 Robert John's verion of The Lion Sleeps Tonight goes gold, previously a hit for The Tokens and The Weavers
3/15/47 Ry Cooder born, 1st rock performer to release a digitally recorded album or song
3/15/41 Mike Love, singer/song writer, The Beach Boys
3/15/1767 Andrew Jackson born
3/15/44(BC) Julius Caesar assassinated by senators in Rome
3/16/64 Capitol Records announces advance sales of one to two million each for the Beatles' next two singles
3/16/26 Jerry Lewis born
3/16/1802 US Military Academy at West Point established
3/17 Saint Patrick's Day
3/17/51 Scott Gorham born, a founding member of Irish rock band Thin Lizzy (1974)
3/18/45 Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman adopt son Michael
3/18/54 first B-52 rolls out of Boeing plant
3/18/65 Mick Jagger, Keith Richards & Bill Wyman (Rolling Stones) arrested for relieving themselves on the wall of a gas station after being refused permission to use its restroom
3/18/41 Wilson "Boris" Pickett born, singer "The Monster Mash"
3/19/1920 Railroads returned to their owners after being nationalized by President Wilson
3/19/1787 Steamboat patent issued to John Fitch by New York State
3/19/80 Elvis Presley's autopsy is subpoenaed in trial of his doctor for over-prescribing drugs, for which he will be found guilty
3/19/82 Ozzy Osbourne's guitarist and two others killed when plane crashes after buzzing Osbourne in his tour bus
3/19/30 Ornette Coleman born, avant-garde jazz performer
3/19/37 Clarence "Frogman" Henry born, singer/song writer
3/20/15 New Moon, werewolf threat level green
3/20/37 Jerry Reed born, singer/song writer/actor
3/20 First day of Spring
3/20/59 A site inside Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado approved for NORAD operations
3/20/69 John Lennon marries Yoko Ono, then they start a "bed-in for peace" at the Amsterdam Hilton
3/20/71 Iron Butterfly's In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida goes triple gold, on the pop chart now for 138 weeks
3/20/1852 "Uncle Tom's Cabin" published, selling 3000 copies the first day, President Lincoln credited its author with helping end slavery
3/21/1685 Johann Sebastian Bach born
3/22/1765 Stamp Act, 1st direct tax only on British colonies, touching off violent protests 8/26, repealed 4/26/1766
3/22/63 The Beatles' 1st album released, hits #1 in 3 weeks
3/22/56 Carl Perkins injured in car accident, never fully recovers
3/22/78 The Rutles "All You Need Is Cash" spoofing the Beatles airs on ABC-TV with a cameo by George Harrison. He was also a fan of the satirical rock group Spinal Tap
3/22/43 George Benson born, jazz guitarist, his "Breezin" (1976) is one of all-time best-selling jazz albums
3/22/48 Andrew Lloyd Weber born
3/23/1858 Patent issued for the streetcar
3/23/53 Chaka Khan, born singer
3/24/1874 Harry Houdini born, illusionist and escape artist
3/24/1873 Mary Ann Cotton executed by hanging after at least 18 family members died, 12 of them children, from arsenic "stomach ailments" including her mother and three husbands
3/24/54 Ray Charles' 3rd hit "It Should've Been Me" hits #7 on R&B chart
3/24/58 Elvis Presley (23) becomes Army recruit #53310761 for 2 years; Sgt. Presley will be released 3/5/60
3/24/72 Paul Anka's hit "Puppy Love" goes gold also for Donny Osmond 12 year later
3/25/38 singer/actor Hoyt Axton born
3/25/61 Elvis does his last live performance for 8 years, a benefit raising $62,000 in Pearl Harbor for the USS Arizona Memorial
3/25/1807 World's first passenger train run, Swansea to Mumbles, U.K.
3/25/70 Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young's only studio-recorded album goes gold, inc. song Teach Your Children
3/25/72 America have #1 single & album on pop chart A Horse With No Name and "America"
3/25/34 Johnny Burnette born (d. 8/1/64) singer "You're 16" (1960) which was later a #1 hit also for Ringo Starr (1973)
3/25/42 Aretha Franklin born, gospel & pop singer daughter of Rev. C.L. Franklin, recorded 1st gospel songs at age 14
3/25/47 Elton John born, singer
3/25/1867 Arturo Toscanini born
3/26/44 Diana Ross born, singer
3/26/49 1st US ten-engine bomber makes 1st test flight, the B-36
3/26/70 Peter of Peter Paul & Mary pleads guilty to "immoral liberties" with a 14 year old girl
3/26/74 Rock On by British teen idol David Essex goes gold, Essex is best known in US as Jesus in movie Godspell
3/26/74 Tubular Bells by teen prodigy Mike Oldfield goes gold, song is later used for movie The Exorcist
3/26/65 The Yardbirds replace Eric Clapton with Jeff Beck. Clapton objected to commercialization of their songs
3/27/68 The Bee Gees perform at Royal Albert Hall with a 67-piece orchestra, the RAF Band, and a large choir
3/27/71 One Toke Over The Line by Brewer & Shipley is banned by radio stations for its drug references
3/27/72 Elvis Presley records his final hit song "Burning Love"
3/27/51 Tony Bank born, founding member of pop group Genesis (later to include Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins)
3/27/52 Singin' In The Rain released, musical spoof of silent movie era, starring Debbie Reynolds of Halloweentown and Gene Kelly (Anchors Aweigh)
3/28/58 Blues composer W.C. Handy dies (84)
3/28/48 John Evan born, keyboardist for British group Jethro Tull, which they named for a farm implement inventor
3/28/1881 Master showman P.T. Barnum merges his museum of oddities with the Bailey Circus 3/29/77 Swedish group ABBA gets their only US #1 hit gold record, for "Dancing Queen", their "Knowing Me Knowing You" is already #1 in Britain
3/29/1990 Warning labels first put on records, voluntarily
3/30/60 Congressman Tip O'Neill denounces rock & roll as "a type of sensuous music unfit for impressionable minds" and demands the FCC investigate radio stations for payola
3/30/78 Paul Simonon & Topper Headon of rock group Clash arrested for shooting pigeons from a London hotel roof
3/30/81 A deranged loner attempts to kill President Reagan with a stolen gun
3/30/45 Eric Clapton born, guitarist
3/30/42 Graeme Edge, a founding member of British rock group The Moody Blues
3/30/64 First broadcast of TV gameshow Jeopardy
3/30/1867 Russia agrees to cede Alaska to the USA
3/31/54 Fats Domino's 10th hit "You Done Me Wrong" hits #10 on R&B chart
3/31/37 Herb Alpert born, Grammy Award winner "A Taste Of Honey"
3/31/1889 Eiffel Tower born
April 1 - If you're still celebrating New Year's Day today, you're a fool
4/1/54 Bill creating the Air Force Academy signed by President Eisenhower
4/1/89 Congress proclaims National Model Railroad Day
4/1/1894 The French Ripper, Joseph Vacher, considered cured and released from an asylum, went on a killing spree
4/1/2010 Ed Roberts died, developer of the calculator and computer kits, employed young Bill Gates and Paul Allen in the 1970s
4/1/2010 John Forsythe died, actor "Bachelor Father", Dynasty, and Charlie's voice in Charlie's Angels
4/2/1887 First vestibule passenger train in service, by the Pennsylvania RR
The Wizard Of Oz in 5 minutes

As reviewed by a guy stuck in space with two robots named Crow and Tom Servo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs started on The Movie Channel: TMC schedule
"While other people come upon roadkill and see a dead animal, I see a new hat" Beth Beverly, Taxidermist
Half of the DNA in humans and bananas is the same, does that mean we are all half bananas?

Ray Harryhausen's legendary stop-motion creatures defined blockbuster special effects for decades and inspired entire generations of filmmakers. He died May 7th, 2013 at the age of 92.
Other deaths in 2013 included Tom Laughlin, star of the Bill Jack movies, and Peter O'Toole, costar of Supergirl and "My Favorite Year."

Note: Joe Bob's video host segments for "Blood Feast" have been added to the Blood & Donuts page cause I can't remember where I put the transcript for Blood Feast
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff" Frank Zappa
Click here for the planet Alderran from the 1st Star Wars movie. The Shadow Knows
Peter Graves of Mission Impossible (TV-series) and the movie Airplane, has died. His son tried to help but to no avail. Walter Koenig's son Andrew, a childstar on "Growing Pains" as Boner, has been found dead of suicide. Members of the cast of Star Trek and Growing Pains have sent their sympathy to the family; he had been treated for depression and went off his meds. Walter Koenig asks that anyone wrestling with depression please get help or call someone

Josh Friedman (the Terminator TV series) is casting for a new Charlie's Angels TV-series on ABC and Moonlight's Alex O'Loughlin is close to an agreement to play the Jack Lord role in a new Hawaii 5-0. NBC has ordered several new pilots to fill the hole in primetime left by Jay Leno returning to the Tonight Show, including a new Rockford Files by the creator of TV's House, and a dramedy starring David Tennant (Who?) called "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" (I hope that's just a working title). American Movie Classics is adapting "The Walking Dead" zombie comic book for a new TV-series on the cable channel known for Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Starz is already running episodes of Sam Raimi's "Spartacus: Blood & Sand," with Lucy Lawless (Xena) as a Roman vamp. Remember Terry O'Quinn from the Monstervision feature Stepfather 2? He's no longer Mr. Nice Guy on the TV-series "Lost." He told TV Guide in January 2010 that in the 6th & final season, his character's "on a mission and he's a dark presence, almost like the devil. The more the others know about him, the more fear he inspires."
Hey, are you kids watching Play-Mate Of The Apes?
There are former MonsterVision movies on the following entire-month channel's pages. Whenever possible, I have made the movie titles on these pages MonsterVision review/host segments links:
American Movie Classics ... Turner Classic Movies ... A&E ... History Channel ... Independent Film Channel ... Encore ... Starz ... Starz in Black ... Starz Edge ... Starz Comedy ... Encore's Mystery ... Drama and Action Channels and Wam ... HBO & Cinemax ... Showtime ... Showtime's Flix Channel ... The Movie Channel ... Showtime's Family Zone and Sundance ... Showtime #2 (Showtime Too), Showtime Showcase, Showtime Extreme, Showtime Beyond, Showtime Women ... Showtime Next. Showtime HD appears to be the same as Showtime ... Starz Cinema ... Starz HDTV ... Encore Westerns ... MoviePlex ... RetroPlex ... Starz Kids & Family and Encore's Love Channel ... SciFi Channel movies & TV-marathons ... USA Network movies. Bravo!
Fox Movie Channel no longer has monthly listings, just a non-text daily list on their flash website
See Dinner & A Movie page for upcoming TBS Dinner & A Movie (Fridays), Movie & A Makeover (Saturdays), TBS Movie Extra (Thursdays & Sundays)

Note: Star Trek The Next Generation is on the SYFY channel as well as WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri

Zombieland full-length trailer #2

There are no zombies in Washington DC because they eat brains

I don't care what you've heard, most of Air America Radio's programs are still on the air

In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis, then she sent her flying monkeys to find Dorothy in Oz.

Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Films
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling
ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer, but possibly not star in it in 2011. Click here to please Zardoz.

He's Always Russian Around


Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help

What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?

Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:


John Wayne's opinion of gun control
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency

Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts

If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime?
A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days

Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com

Make your own banners completely free of charge at IntantBannerCreator.com

Previous MonsterVision listings here (in 2010)


Review Me


Monstervision's 100% Weird



A full-color recreation of Joe Bob's Saturday Night homepage (1999/2000) is now viewable. The links all work now, I think.
BBC will stop playing April Fools Day pranks when penguins fly

Yes, that's Terry Jones of Monty Python as the host, 2008
How it was created

Of course, April is also the month of the annual Spaghetti Harvest

Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.

Check out the new ad for Indiana Jones 4 (2008)

MST3K is Back!   - RiffTrax

More weird videos posted at the Ripley's Believe It Or Not pages

1980s eps of Knight Rider have moved to MyRTN: Retro Television Network, available in 40 states so far

Click Here if you don't know what "Click Here" means
Click here if you think your job sucks. What's up, Tiger Lily?

MonsterVision Bios of Joe Bob and Honey the Mail Girl. And of course, Professor Joe Bob also has his own Q&A page

Joe Bob Briggs interview (January 2006) page 1, page 2...Interview with Mike Nelson of MST3000
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------


The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it one of the most expensive movies ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself)
Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)

Ed Wood (with Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi, as he was filming Plan 9 from Outer Space) is seen occasionally on AMC's sister station, Independent Film Channel

Joe Bob Briggs interview from November 2006 is now archived online

You've heard about it, check it out for yourself. The George Orwell spoof: Why 2008 won't be like 1984 put together by a fan of Obama

Clip posted at YouTube: Bob Denver intros Mysterious Island for TNT's MonsterVision

If this link doesn't work it's not my fault (no pathetic excuses)

Would you like to have Joe Bob speak at
your next meeting or corporate event?
Fill out this form, so that he can get back
to you with all the exciting details!

Aslan Take them The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe theatrical trailers swiped from
www.Narnia.com
have been moved to the new
Chronicles of Narnia movie page
Aslan is on the move. Sequels coming soon

Check out Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 & 3 or the Flying Dutchman may get you with its kracken

Golden Age of Radio online including The Shadow and Doc Savage


Happy Halloween from Dr. Loomis
Webmasters, feel free to link to this entire page - http://www.Monstervision.org
There will never be popups or popunders here, though I do enjoy a good apple popover now and then if its cooked right

Remember, it's just Five Million Years To Earth

If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.

MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese

Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere)
There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision

Joe Bob's unlisted phone numberClick here for Joe Bob's secret home phone number

This vast website devoted to Monstervision built and maintained by half-vast fans

Best movies ever made by Japanese guys in monster suits...with links to Monstervision's host segments for "Godzilla" and "Godzilla vs Mothra" (Joe Bob just loved the tiny women who sing to Mothra)

A word from God

Big Trouble In Little China fans, for a free computer game based on your favorite movie, go to the Big Trouble In Little China computer game on the Wingkong.net fan website for free download. And don't worry if you don't get the rules right away, you weren't brought into this world to get it, Mr. Burton.
And here's Kurt Russell's opinion of Osama Bin Ladin.
Email: scifans@gmail

Click here to sign up for a weekly Email from Joe Bob, news you can't use, guaranteed. Want to drop Joe Bob a note? Send email to joebob@joebobbriggs.com

Longer version of that music the Phantom plays on a pipe organ

Click here for Christine (the movie review & host segments, not the demon-possessed car from Hell itself)

Or visit Boris Karloff, he's lonely

Kolchak, the Night Stalker page

Lock your doors, lock your windows, and click here for the "Halloween" movies

Halloween is 20 years old, happy birthday!

Animated graphics © 2003 by The Animation Factory.

Be vewy vewy qwiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Bad, bad talking-cat

® Monstervision is a registered trademark of nobody

This electric site
Help keep this on a popup-free website. Buy something from our sponsors!
Click here to hear your computer scream again

Or here for Return of the Living Dead

Please note: this website is for intelligent people, not this guy
Was that the boogie-man?

Guess who's coming to dinner

Welcome to the party, pal

Monstervision Error 404 Page (it's fun)

See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.

Episodes of Wierd Science can be seen on Starz channel "Wam" What do you little maniacs want to do first?

The Visitors are coming to the Sci-Fi Channel in a remake of "V" with Robert Englund of Nightmare On Elm Street as a "friendly" alien

Greetings from The Visitors

Hamster Dance!

Or visit the Neko homepage

Click here if you want to be a spammer

Note: if you want to printout this page, be sure your printer is set to black ink & no background. And that it has ink in it. And paper

Monstervision…

What was the question again?

42% of all statistics are fake

10 Reasons Not To Kill George Bush


Your uncle was a monkey, swinging through the trees
Or don't you believe in Human origins?

Willard! There are rats in the basement!

"The majority is always wrong" - Steve McQueen
Terrorists are not cowards, they're the enemy...Annihilate them
Joe Bob Briggs

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and ookie, they're altogether spooky, the Addams Family.

It's A Joke, Son (256k video mp4)

Important Note: This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).

There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.

If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.

"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)

People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.

The drive-in will never die!!!

"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator,
Joe Bob

"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton

Many more blonde jokes

The latest blond joke is in the Miss Teenage America contest from someplace on the maps known as Carolina (not near Asian countries or the Iraq) and all of you U.S. Americans can see it here

What's the difference between Congress and a clown college? Some people still respect clowns

Heroes of 9/11 and 3000 Names

This page © the great and powerful Bill Laidlaw. Coca Cola has been 100% cocaine-free since 1929

In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!

Legal crap for this world wide website

Happy New Year from my cat
Fun fact: As of 1995, Yahoo.com had a indexed over 15,000 websites!

Some graphics on this page are from the Angelfire Graphics Library...That's the fact, Jack

Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)

Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2˝˘ worth

Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!

Playboy Magazine has a new edition for married people, the centerfold is the same every month
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!

The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun
Ralph Nader (1980)
Sometimes it's hard to get a Taxi


Save the Sea Kittens
Is government a necessary evil or just plain evil?
"The nincompoops in my audience greatly outnumber the compoops"
Brother Theodore Gottlieb (1996) David Letterman Show
The chief characteristic of institutions is that if they have a purpose when they are started, it is forgotten as they mature"
Robert M. Hutchins
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking
Fun with audio:
If you say "Thank you Satan" into your computer and play it backwards, it sounds like "Yes We Can"
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