... I'm Neko, click me to follow your curser
Click me again to stop

Original Monstervision Drive-In page


Monstervision Movie Reviews and Host Segments, and 100% Wierd Listings for your viewing pleasure this month
Monstervision 1997 logo

Welcome to the Mostervision page.

FAQ (frequently asked question): What's the difference between Monstervision on TNT and Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the Sci-Fi channel?
Monster jokes "There are 3 types of people in the world - those who are good at math and those who aren't."

Past movies have included Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, all 3 Poltergeist movies (in a row, the same night), Back to the Future, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Stephen King's The Dead Zone and Christine, and even a couple of films they also made fun of on MST3K...
Following the Monster Vision movie or movies was a film that TNT considers "100% Wierd". Sometimes it has something to do with the evening's selection (2 Godzilla movies were followed by "All Monsters Attack") and sometimes not. Sometimes "100% Wierd" was just a short film, Bigfoot: Man or Beast ... which is about 50% wierd. Or the classic Japanese TV-series Ultra 7, or Gilligan's Island, which is just plain silly. Each summer, Professor Joe Bob Briggs would conduct his own Summer School

These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the SYFY Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...

Books by Joe Bob Briggs are available from his Amazon.com direct link

In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff.
John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing

MonsterVision movies transcripts list so far

Today's schedule sponsored by Motel Hell, when only the very worst will do

This month, 2017
11/1    All Saints Day
11/1/1954 Last B-29 bomber retired by the USAF
11/1/1964 Six B-57 bombers were destroyed by a guerrilla attack on a US Air Base near Saigon
11/1/1966 Three Elvis Presley albums go Gold today, his 1956 debut album and its two sequels
11/1/1971 Egyptian President Sadat took personal control of the military
11/1/1980 CSX Corporation formed, merging several railroads
11/2    Day of the Dead / All Souls Day (Mexico) Día de Muertos
11/2/1943 The 15th Air Force flew its first mission of WW2
11/2/1734 Daniel Boone born (died 1820), founder of the first permanent settlement in Kentucky (1775)
11/3/1954 Singer Adam Ant (Stuart Goddard) born
11/2/1967 British group Move sued for promotional postcard showing the Prime Miniter nude, cards confiscated
11/3/1957 Great Balls Of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis released, hits #1, 2 & 3 on C&W, Pop, and R&B charts
11/3/1957 Russia launches its second satellite into space, this one containing a live animal, a Laika dog
11/3/1959 C133 cargo plane made its first delivery of an Atlas intercontinental missile
11/3/1961 Jimmie Rodgers (1897-1933) unanimously elected as first member of Country Music Hall of Fame
11/4/1931 Ike Turner born, singer
11/4/1960 USAF revealed use of a C-97 as an airborne command post
11/4/1995 Isreal's Prime Minister assassinated by an extremist after addressing a peace rally in Tel Aviv
11/4/1956 Soviet Russian tanks roll into Hungary at dawn, brutally crushing a rebellion
11/4/1976 Presented with a BeeGees platinum record, NY Mayor Beame says he looks forward to playing it
11/4/1980 Ronald Reagan elected President
11/4/1981 Private Eyes by Hall & Oates goes platinum, as does 9 Tonight by Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
11/4/2017 Full Moon called "Beaver Moon" by Native Americans as the brightest moon of the year, bright enough to
           set beaver traps at night, due to Moon being closer to Earth than usual
11/5/1915 Guy Fawkes Day (UK)
11/5/1912 1st artillery adjustments made from a plane in USA
11/5/1942 Art Garfunkel, singer
11/5/1947 Peter Noone born, singer
11/5/1946 Gram Parsons born (died 1973)
11/5/2017 Daylight Savings Time ends, turn your clock sideways Saturday night/Sunday morning
11/5/2017 an athiest feuding with his wife and mother-in-law shoots at everyone in their church but they were not
          there that Sunday, a Texas neighbor chases him and he crashes car, then kills himself. He may have been
          inspired by a scene in the 2014 movie "Kingsman"
11/6/1930 Capt. Eddie Rickenbacker awarded the Medal of Honor for WW1 action
11/6/1965 New York hit by massive blackout
11/6/1973 2 men are fined $300 each for stealing Gram Parsons' body to cremate in the desert
11/6/1971 US hydrogen bomb test centered on Amchitka Island
11/6/1981 Sweden releases Russian submarine captured near Karlskrona Naval Base after filing official protest
11/7/1885 Canadian Pacific Railway completed, Canada's first transcontinental railroad
11/7/1907 US Signal Corps allotted $25,000  to procure an airplane
11/7/1917 Bolshevik Revolution in Russia
11/7/1943 born Joni Mitchell, singer
11/7/1970 MGM Records drops 18 acts who "exploit & promote hard drugs" including Connie Francis and Judy Garland
11/7/1974 Ted Nugent wins National Squirrel-Shooting Archery Contest, at 150 yards
11/7/1986 trade war between US and Canada: Canada raises tariff on US corn in retaliation for US import tax on
          Canadian lumber
11/8/1949 born Bonnie Raitt singer
11/8/1950 First jet plane vs. jet plane combat in history, over Korea
11/8/1961 Leif Garrett born
11/8/1966 Ronald Reagan elected Governor of CA, defeating incumbent Gov. Brown
11/8/2016 India recalls all paper money of 500 rupee (about $10) or more without advance warning. Australia 
          announces it will do the same with Australian dollars by the end of the month
11/8/2016 Donald Trump elected President, basket of deplorables reject Clinton
11/9/1918 Last US air unit assigned to Army in WW1
11/9/1961 Record shop manager Brian Epstein goes to Cavern Club to hear the Beatles
11/9/1966 Rumor spreads that Paul McCartney was killed in auto accident and replaced by a look-alike
11/9/1989 Fall of the Berlin Wall
11/9/1965 Northeast hit by massive electric blackout for 14 hours, including Toronto, New York & Boston
11/10/1958 Billboard Mag. says Beechnut gum's sales have doubled as sponsor of Dick Clark's American Bandstand
11/10/1960 Gregg Allman gets a guitar for 13th birthday, forms group with his brother within the year
11/10/1983 500th birthday (1483) of Martin Luther celebrated, who nailed 95 Theses to the door of the All Saints 
          Church in Wittenberg on 10/31/1517, setting off the Protestant Reformation
11/10/1988 USAF announces existence of F-117A, the Stealth Fighter, after successful testing in Area 51
11/11    Veteran's Day, originally observing the end of WW1 on the 11th day of the 11th month
11/11/1956 First flight of the world's supersonic bomber, the B-58 Hustler
11/11/1964 Parliament (UK) presented with a budget that raises taxes and increased welfare benefits
11/12/1942 Ninth Air Force established in Middle East
11/12/1945 born Neil Young, singer
11/13/1943 Heaviest raid on New Guinea in WW2 - 119 B24s and B25s
11/13/1956 Supreme Court rules against an Alabama law that had required segregation of interstate buses
11/13/1965 James Brown's "I Got You" (aka I Feel Good) released, hits #1 on R&B and #3 on Pop charts
11/13/1971 First man-made object orbits another planet, Mars (Mariner 9)
11/13/1833 Edwin Booth born, reknowned Shakespearean actor starting on the stage at age 17, though best known
           today only as older brother of fellow actor John Wilkes Booth
11/14/1966 First jet aircraft to land in Antarctica, a C141 Starlifter
11/14/1981 Space Shuttle Columbia became first space craft to return to earth after more than one launch in space
11/14/1960 Elvis Presley's "It's Now Or Never" sells a British record of 780,000 copies its first week there
11/14/1982 Lech Walesa released from 11 months of Soviet detention, defiantly says he will "talk and act, not on
           my knees, but with prudence." His Solidarity union in Poland had just been outlawed in October
11/15/1932 Petula Clark born, singer
11/15/1947 first test flight of a ram-jet helicopter, by McDonell Aviation
11/16/1959 Capt. J.W. Kittinger parachuted from altitude of 76,400  feet
11/16/1956 Elvis Presley's first movie debuts, Love Me Tender, grossing over $4 million in 2 months
11/16/1892 Dr Thomas Neill Cream executed for 9 murders and numerous backstreet abortions, calling himself Jack the...
11/17/2016 Height of annual Leonid Meteor Shower is tonight, 10-20 per hour, named for constellation Leo the Lion
11/17/1938 born Gordon Lightfoot
11/17/1944 US fighters fly over Philippines for 1st time since evacuation of 1942
11/17/1947 Actor Ronald Reagan elected president of the Screen Actors Guild
11/17/1953 born Dino Martin, Jr.
11/18/2017 New Moon completely dark, werewolf threat low
11/18/1883 US & Canada begin using Standard Time to standardize railroad time schedules
11/18/1949 USAF C-74 aircraft carried a record 103 people
11/18/1954 Mambo Italiano by Rosemary Clooney banned as offensive by ABC Radio
11/18/1956 Fats Domino sings Blueberry Hill on Ed Sullivan Show
11/18/1968 Glen Campbell gets his 1st gold record, for Wichita Lineman
11/18/1980 The B-52s' self-titled record album goes gold
11/18/1981 Pres. Reagan announces plan to not deploy Pershing II and cruise missiles to Europe if Soviet Russia
         will remove missiles airmed at Europe, first SALT talks with Russia begin on the 30th in Geneva
11/19/1952 World speed record of 698.5 mph set, by a F-86D
11/19/1977 Egyptian Pres. Sadat visits Israel to begin peace talks
11/20/1963 first two F-4C jet fighters delivered to USAF
11/20/1910 Mexican Revolution
11/20/1947 marriage of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip
11/20/1954 Singing cowboy Gene Autry first appearance on Grand Ole Opry
11/20/1955 Bo Diddley does his own "Bo Diddley" live on Ed Sullivan Show instead of song he rehearsed for Ed
11/20/1959 Alan Freed fired by WABC New York, refused to sign affidavit about payola
11/20/1981 West Germany agrees to buy gas from Russia using a pipeline from Siberia over US objections
11/21/1957 first of several ballistic missile bases to be erected at Frances E. Warren AFB in Wyoming
11/21/1960 Ray Charles has 4 songs in top 100 inc. Georgia On My Mind and "Ruby"
11/22/1988 Rollout of the B-2 "stealth" bomber
11/22/1955 RCA signs Elvis Presley for $5000, which he uses to buy a Cadillac, & buys out his previous contracts
11/22/1963 President John F. Kennedy assassinated by a single gunman(?)
11/22/1977 You Light Up My Life by Debbie Boone goes platinum, from a movie of the same name
11/23/1947 1st flight of world's largest land plane, the XC-99
11/23/1964 Rolling Stones banned by BBC after showing up late for live radio show "Top Gear"
11/23/1964 Bank of England raises interest rate from 5% to 7% amid financial crisis, the Labor (liberal) 
       government had previously omposed a 15% protectionist tariff on imports, causing the Pound to drop
11/23/1976 Jerry Lee Lewis arrested outside Graceland, demanding to see Elvis, drunk & waving a pistol
11/24/1944 first large bombing raid on Tokyo, by eighty-eight B-29s
11/24/1971 A hijacker giving his name as Dan Cooper parachuted from a 747 with $200,000 over Washington State
11/24/1784 Zachary Taylor born, fought in War of 1812, the Indian Wars, and defeated Santa Anna in 1847 after
           Santa Anna's attack of the Alamo touched off the Mexican War; elected US President in 1848
11/24/2016 Enjoy your Thanksgiving tofurky (4th Thursday of November)
11/25/1936 Nazi Germany and Japan sign the Anti-Comintern Pact to "safeguard their common interests"
11/25/1956 T/Sgt R.J. Patton made 1st successful polar parachute jump
11/25/1986 Oliver North relieved of duties after Pres. Reagan reveals illegal arms for hostages deal involving
           Iran and Nicaragua via a Swiss bank account
11/26/1938 Tina Turner born, singer
11/26/1956 Big Band leader Tommy Dorsey found dead from a simple home accident
11/26/1957 RF-101 established a transcontinental round trip record of 6 hours,42+ minutes
11/26/1975 Rev. Boykin of Tallahassee (FL) burns $2000 of rock & roll records, the Devil's music
11/26/1982 Miles Davis marries Cicely Tyson, with Bill Cosby as Best Man
11/26/1832 born Mary E. Walker, first female surgeon in the US Army, captured by Confederates during the Civil War,
           first woman awarded the Medal of Honor (revoked by Pres. Wilson in 1917, she refused to give it back)
11/27/1897 Jenny Coupler patented to make coupling railroad cars safer
11/27/1912 US Army accepts first flying boat, Curtiss Aviation
11/27/1942 Jimi Hendrix born (died 1970)
11/27/1944 born Eddie Rabbitt singer
11/27/1956 James Garner appears in Man from 1997 in which a time traveler accidentally leaves behind an
         almanac from the future, a theme used in Back To The Future Part 2
11/27/1974 "Kung Fu Fighting" becomes a gold record though sequel "Dance The Kung Fu" bombs
11/28/1729 300 French soldiers & settlers killed by Natchez Indians over settlements in their sacred burial grounds
11/28/1929 born Berry Gordy, Jr
11/28/1942 1st US bombing raid on Japanese-occupied Thailand
11/28/1944 Randy Newman born, he really does like short people as long as they're not Republican
11/28/1964 Leader Of The Pack by the Shangri-Las girl group becomes a #1 hit song
11/28/1966 The Monkees get their 3rd gold record "I'm A Believer," their 2nd was Last Train To Clarkesville
11/29/1951 USAF announces development of 1st all-jet heavy bomber, the B-52
11/29/1981 car bomb in Syria kills 90 people, credited to the Muslim Brotherhood
11/30/1929 Dick Clark born, America's oldest teenager
11/30/1964 Sir Winston Churchill celebrated his 90th birthday
11/30/1956 TM-61 Matador became USAF's first completely tactical missile
12/1/1917 Boys Town founded in Nebraska, USA
12/1/1959 Essential systems were eliminated from the B-70 supersonic bomber program, essentially ending it
12/1/1945 born Bette Midler, singer/actress
12/1/1935 born Lou Rawls singer
12/1/1976 Bill Grundy uses the F word on the British "Today Show," The Sex Pistols are banned 
        from performing live shows in U.K.
12/1/1982 Michael Jackson album "Thriller" released, with Vincent Price narration on title track
12/2/1763 1st Jewish center in America opens, in Newport, RI *
12/2/1935 Flight of 20 bombers flew Calif to FLA in less than 22 hours
* "...the Government of the United States... gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance. ...May the children of the Stock of Abraham, who dwell in this land, continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other Inhabitants; while every one shall sit in safety under his own vine and figtree, and there shall be none to make him afraid. May the father of all mercies scatter light and not darkness in our paths, and make us all in our several vocations useful here, and in his own due time and way everlastingly happy." — Letter of George Washington to the Hebrew Congregation in Newport, Rhode Island [1790]

This week's movies on HBO & Cinemax
Check out Area 51 plus the previous 50 Areas

Here's some advice from your friendly stock broker:
#1. The market is going up, buy stock because you don’t want to miss out
#2. The market is going down, buy stocks because they are cheaper and it’s a great buying opportunity!

6/19/2016 Anton Yelchin died (27) Russian-born actor best known for playing Chekov in recent two Star Trek films and a recent Terminator movie as Kyle Reese. He got out of his car in his driveway when it accidentally rolled crushing him. His family filed suit against Chrysler on August 2 for not issuing a recall for the known defect
Google announced new computer keyboard on April 1 2016, for people in Japan addicted to smart phones
The Wizard Of Oz in 5 minutes

As reviewed by a guy stuck in space with two robots named Crow and Tom Servo
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs started on The Movie Channel: TMC schedule
"While other people come upon roadkill and see a dead animal, I see a new hat" Beth Beverly, Taxidermist
Half of the DNA in humans and bananas is the same, does that mean we are all half bananas?

Ray Harryhausen's legendary stop-motion creatures defined blockbuster special effects for decades and inspired entire generations of filmmakers. He died May 7th, 2013 at the age of 92.
Other deaths in 2013 included Tom Laughlin, star of the Bill Jack movies, and Peter O'Toole, costar of Supergirl movie and "My Favorite Year."

Note: Joe Bob's video host segments for "Blood Feast" have been added to the Blood & Donuts page cause I can't remember where I put the transcript for Blood Feast
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff" Frank Zappa
Click here for the planet Alderran from the 1st Star Wars movie. The Shadow Knows
Peter Graves of Mission Impossible (TV-series) and the movie Airplane, has died. His son tried to help but to no avail. Walter Koenig's son Andrew, a childstar on "Growing Pains" as Boner, has been found dead of suicide. Members of the cast of Star Trek and Growing Pains have sent their sympathy to the family; he had been treated for depression and went off his meds. Walter Koenig asks that anyone wrestling with depression please get help or call someone

Josh Friedman (the Terminator TV series) is casting for a new Charlie's Angels TV-series on ABC and Moonlight's Alex O'Loughlin is close to an agreement to play the Jack Lord role in a new Hawaii 5-0. NBC has ordered several new pilots to fill the hole in primetime left by Jay Leno returning to the Tonight Show, including a new Rockford Files by the creator of TV's House, and a dramedy starring David Tennant (Who?) called "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" (I hope that's just a working title). American Movie Classics is adapting "The Walking Dead" zombie comic book for a new TV-series on the cable channel known for Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Starz is already running episodes of Sam Raimi's "Spartacus: Blood & Sand," with Lucy Lawless (Xena) as a Roman vamp. Remember Terry O'Quinn from the Monstervision feature Stepfather 2? He's no longer Mr. Nice Guy on the TV-series "Lost." He told TV Guide in January 2010 that in the 6th & final season, his character's "on a mission and he's a dark presence, almost like the devil. The more the others know about him, the more fear he inspires."
Hey, are you kids watching Play-Mate Of The Apes?
There are former MonsterVision movies on the following entire-month channel's pages. Whenever possible, I have made the movie titles on these pages MonsterVision review/host segments links:
American Movie Classics ... Turner Classic Movies ... A&E ... History Channel ... Independent Film Channel ... Encore ... Starz ... Starz in Black ... Starz Edge ... Starz Comedy ... Encore's Mystery ... Drama and Action Channels and Wam ... HBO & Cinemax ... Showtime ... Showtime's Flix Channel ... The Movie Channel ... Showtime's Family Zone and Sundance ... Showtime #2 (Showtime Too), Showtime Showcase, Showtime Extreme, Showtime Beyond, Showtime Women ... Showtime Next. Showtime HD appears to be the same as Showtime ... Starz Cinema ... Starz HDTV ... Encore Westerns ... MoviePlex ... RetroPlex ... Starz Kids & Family and Encore's Love Channel ... SciFi Channel movies & TV-marathons ... USA Network movies. Bravo!
Fox Movie Channel no longer has monthly listings, just a non-text daily list on their flash website
See Dinner & A Movie page for upcoming TBS Dinner & A Movie (Fridays), Movie & A Makeover (Saturdays), TBS Movie Extra (Thursdays & Sundays)

Note: Star Trek The Next Generation is on the SYFY channel as well as WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri

Zombieland full-length trailer #2

There are no zombies in Washington DC because they eat brains

I don't care what you've heard, most of Air America Radio's programs are still on the air

In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis

Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Films
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling
ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer. Click here to please Zardoz.

He's Always Russian Around

Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help

What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?

Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:

John Wayne's opinion of gun control
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency

Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts

If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime?
A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days

Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com

Make your own banners completely free of charge at IntantBannerCreator.com

Previous MonsterVision listings here (in 2010)

Review Me

Monstervision's 100% Weird

A full-color recreation of Joe Bob's Saturday Night homepage (1999/2000) is now viewable. The links all work now, I think.
BBC will stop playing April Fools Day pranks when penguins fly

Yes, that's Terry Jones of Monty Python as the host, 2008
How it was created

Of course, April is also the month of the annual Spaghetti Harvest

Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.

Check out the new ad for Indiana Jones 4 (2008)

MST3K is Back!   - RiffTrax

More weird videos posted at the Ripley's Believe It Or Not pages

1980s eps of Knight Rider have moved to MyRTN: Retro Television Network, available in 40 states so far

Click Here if you don't know what "Click Here" means
Click here if you think your job sucks. What's up, Tiger Lily?

MonsterVision Bios of Joe Bob and Honey the Mail Girl. And of course, Professor Joe Bob also has his own Q&A page

Joe Bob Briggs interview (January 2006) page 1, page 2...Interview with Mike Nelson of MST3000

----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------

The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it one of the most expensive movies ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself)
Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)

Ed Wood (with Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi, as he was filming Plan 9 from Outer Space) is seen occasionally on AMC's sister station, Independent Film Channel

Joe Bob Briggs interview from November 2006 is now archived online

You've heard about it, check it out for yourself. The George Orwell spoof: Why 2008 won't be like 1984 put together by a fan of Obama

Clip posted at YouTube: Bob Denver intros Mysterious Island for TNT's MonsterVision

If this link doesn't work it's not my fault (no pathetic excuses)

Would you like to have Joe Bob speak at
your next meeting or corporate event?
Fill out this form, so that he can get back
to you with all the exciting details!

Aslan Take them The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe theatrical trailers swiped from
have been moved to the new
Chronicles of Narnia movie page
Aslan is on the move. Sequels coming soon

Check out Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 & 3 or the Flying Dutchman may get you with its kracken

Golden Age of Radio online including The Shadow and Doc Savage

Happy Halloween from Dr. Loomis
Webmasters, feel free to link to this entire page - http://www.Monstervision.org
There will never be popups or popunders here, though I do enjoy a good apple popover now and then if its cooked right

Remember, it's just Five Million Years To Earth

If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.

MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese

Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere)
There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision

Joe Bob's unlisted phone numberClick here for Joe Bob's secret home phone number

This vast website devoted to Monstervision built and maintained by half-vast fans

Best movies ever made by Japanese guys in monster suits...with links to Monstervision's host segments for "Godzilla" and "Godzilla vs Mothra" (Joe Bob just loved the tiny women who sing to Mothra)

A word from God

Big Trouble In Little China fans, for a free computer game based on your favorite movie, go to the Big Trouble In Little China computer game on the Wingkong.net fan website for free download. And don't worry if you don't get the rules right away, you weren't brought into this world to get it, Mr. Burton.
And here's Kurt Russell's opinion of Osama Bin Ladin.
Email: scifans@gmail

Click here to sign up for a weekly Email from Joe Bob, news you can't use, guaranteed. Want to drop Joe Bob a note? Send email to joebob@joebobbriggs.com

Longer version of that music the Phantom plays on a pipe organ

Click here for Christine (the movie review & host segments, not the demon-possessed car from Hell itself)

Or visit Boris Karloff, he's lonely

Kolchak, the Night Stalker page

Lock your doors, lock your windows, and click here for the "Halloween" movies

Halloween is 20 years old, happy birthday!

Animated graphics © 2003 by The Animation Factory.

Be vewy vewy qwiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Bad, bad talking-cat

® Monstervision is a registered trademark of nobody

This electric site
Help keep this on a popup-free website. Buy something from our sponsors!
Click here to hear your computer scream again

Or here for Return of the Living Dead

Please note: this website is for intelligent people, not this guy
Was that the boogie-man?

Guess who's coming to dinner

Welcome to the party, pal

Monstervision Error 404 Page (it's fun)

See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.

Episodes of Wierd Science can be seen on Starz channel "Wam" What do you little maniacs want to do first?

The Visitors are coming to the Sci-Fi Channel in a remake of "V" with Robert Englund of Nightmare On Elm Street as a "friendly" alien

Greetings from The Visitors

Hamster Dance!

Or visit the Neko homepage

Click here if you want to be a spammer

Note: if you want to printout this page, be sure your printer is set to black ink & no background. And that it has ink in it. And paper


What was the question again?

42% of all statistics are fake

10 Reasons Not To Kill George Bush

Your uncle was a monkey, swinging through the trees
Or don't you believe in Human origins?

Willard! There are rats in the basement!

"The majority is always wrong" - Steve McQueen
Terrorists are not cowards, they're the enemy...Annihilate them
Joe Bob Briggs

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and ookie, they're altogether spooky, the Addams Family.

It's A Joke, Son (256k video mp4)

Important Note: This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).

There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.

If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.

"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)

People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.

The drive-in will never die!!!

"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator,
Joe Bob

"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton

Many more blonde jokes

The latest blond joke is in the Miss Teenage America contest from someplace on the maps known as Carolina (not near Asian countries or the Iraq) and all of you U.S. Americans can see it here

What's the difference between Congress and a clown college? Some people still respect clowns

Heroes of 9/11 and 3000 Names

This page © the great and powerful Bill Laidlaw. Coca Cola has been 100% cocaine-free since 1929, when they replaced it with caffeine.

In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!

Legal crap for this world wide website

Happy New Year from my cat
Fun fact: As of 1995, Yahoo.com had a indexed over 15,000 websites!

Some graphics on this page are from the Angelfire Graphics Library...That's the fact, Jack

Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)

Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2½¢ worth

Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!

Playboy Magazine has a new edition for married people, the centerfold is the same every month
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!

The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun
Ralph Nader (1980)
Sometimes it's hard to get a Taxi

Save the Sea Kittens
Is government a necessary evil or just plain evil?
"The nincompoops in my audience greatly outnumber the compoops"
Brother Theodore Gottlieb (1996) The Late Show
The chief characteristic of institutions is that if they have a purpose when they are started, it is forgotten as they mature"
Robert M. Hutchins
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking
~~ Amazon.com sucks ~~
International Women's Day was created by The Socialist Party of America in 1909. Soviet Russia proclaimed it in 1922, followed by the United Nations in the 1970s.
In the USA they used paper dollars until the collapse of 2017 when everyone switched to digital beads
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