These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the SYFY Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...
In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff. John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing
Today's schedule sponsored by Motel Hell, when only the very worst will do
This month, 2017
7/1/1982 WABC-AM radio switches from rock music to talk radio format
7/1/2014 Natoly Kornukov died (72) Soviet-Russian military officer who ordered KAL-007 airliner to be shot down in 1980s
7/1/2015 Sir Nicholas Winton died (106) born May 19, 1909. In 1939, he helped over 600 children flee Czechoslovakia to foster homes in England, part of Kindertransport, before the Nazis closed the borders. Most of the children's parents later died in Nazi camps
7/1/2016 First death in a self-driving car announced by Tesla (in May), car's camera could not distinguish between side of white semi-trailer and bright sky
7/1 Canada Day, eh? Previously known as Dominion Day (1867 confederation, 150 years ago)
7/2/64 Civil Rights Act
7/2/81 Stars On 45 by a group of Dutch studio musicians hits #1 and is quickly followed by other medley singles
7/2/2016 Jack C. Taylor died (94) founder of Enterprise Rent-A-Car, which was named after WW2's USS Enterprise
7/2/2016 Elie Wiesel died (87) political activist and Holocaust survivor, Nobel Laureate (1986)
7/3/1886 First automobile test drive
7/3/71 Jim Morrison (27) of The Doors dies of heart attack in Paris, complicated by years of drugs and alcohol
7/3/81 The Doors give fans a Morrison graveside tribute in Paris
7/4 Traditional Independence Day celebrated
7/4/1828 B&O Railroad laid first stone (later switched to wooden crossties under the rails)
7/4/1546 Sdmiral Barbarbossa of the Ottoman Empire died
7/5/1946 Bikini introduced, named for atom bomb tests at Bikini Atoll
7/5/1962 Independence Day in Algeria
7/6/1911 Devil's Postpile Nat Monument in California dedicated
7/6/1946 Sylvester Stallone born
7/7/1802 First comic book printed
7/7/1862 Congress passes Pacific Railway Act to build a railroad to California
7/8/2014 Vanna Bonta died (56) Italian-born American actress (Beauty and the Beast, The Bourne Supremacy)
7/9/1971 Jim Morrison secretly buried in France to avoid the "circuslike atmosphere" of the Janis Joplin & Jimi Hendrix funerals
7/9/1893 First open-heart surgery
7/9/2017 Full Moon, lock Larry Talbot in his room
7/10/1943 Arthur Ashe born
7/11/1914 Babe Ruth's Major League Baseball debut
7/12/1817 Henry David Thoreau born
7/13/1930 First World Cup soccer
7/13/1949 Pope Pius XII excommunicates communist Catholics
7/14/1933 Hitler bans all political parties other than his own in Nazi Germany
7/14/1789 Bastille Day in France and all French territories
7/14/2016 A truck loaded with weapons in Nice, France, killed at least 80 people, the driver is of French-Tunisian nationality. This is the greatest loss of life in France to terrorism since the Paris attack in November, the President of France extended martial law for 3 more months and called up 10,000 troops to support the police and border guards
7/15/2016 Attempted military coup in Turkey between military and government forces, hundreds dead, thousands arrested
7/15/1966 National Guard restores order after 3 days of rioting in Chicago
7/15/1853 Grand Trunk Railway formed
7/16/1945 First successful atom bomb test
7/16/1966 Ho Chi Minh orders mobilization of North Vietnam
7/17/2016 annual Perseid meteor shower starts this day each year, peaking August 9-13. The best time to view them is when it is darkest, right before dawn
7/17/1955 Disneyland opens, "the happiest place on earth"
7/17/1961 The Supremes release their 1st single: Buttered Popcorn/Who's Loving You.
7/17/1982 The Valley Girl craze starts when Valley Girl by Moon Unit Zappa hits the top 100 Pop Chart
7/18/1921 astronaut John Glenn born
7/19/1946 Norma Jean (Marilyn Monroe) screen test
7/19/1980 Moscow Olympics begin, boycotted by USA to boycott Russian invasion of Afghanistan
7/20/1969 First manned Moon landing
7/21/1899 Ernest Hemingway born
7/22/1940 Alex Trebek born, what is Host of Jeopardy
7/23/2017 New Moon completely dark, werewolf threat low
7/23/1914 Dora Bryan died (91) British film, TV and stage actress (A Taste of Honey, Last of the Summer Wine)
7/23/1966 Riots end in Brooklyn (NY) and Cleveland, Thailand joins the fight against communists in Vietnam
7/24/1914 Patrick Sawyer died of the ebola virus (40) Liberian-born American lawyer
7/24/1660 Great Fire of Istanbul
7/25/1978 First "test-tube" baby born after fertilization outside the womb
7/26/1908 FBI founded
7/26/1976 Ted Nugent's self titled album goes gold
7/27/1953 Korean War ends with an armistice, a permanent treaty has never been signed. US flag may be flown at
half-mast until sunset in recognition of Korean War vets
7/27/1984 Taylor Schilling born
7/27/1980 Deposed shah of Iran dies in a Cairo hospital
7/28/1929 Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis born
7/28/1976 Fly Like An Eagle album by The Steve Miller Band goes gold, and eventually platinum
7/29/1958 NASA founded
7/29/1953 Tim Gunn born
7/29/1981 Prince Charles and Lady Diana are married in London
7/30/1947 Arnold Schwarzenegger arrived on Earth, the Terminator
7/30/1984 Gina Rodriguez born
7/30/1966 US planes begin bombing of the zone between North and South Vietnam
7/30/2014 Dennis Lipscomb died (72) American actor (In the Heat of the Night, Wiseguy, WarGames)
7/30/2014 Rick Mittleman died (84) TV writer (Bewitched, CHiPs, The Flintstones, The Odd Couple), traffic collision
7/30/2014 Dick Smith died (92) special effects make-up artist (The Godfather, The Exorcist, Amadeus)
7/31/1965 author J.K. Rowling born, creator of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
7/31/1971 Apollo 15 astronauts try out the lunar rover moon buggy
7/31/2014 Jorge Jacobson died (78) Argentine journalist (Telefe Noticias), made to look like a heart attack
8/1/1966 A student at the University of Texas kills his wife and mother, then shoots 44 people from the university's 27-story tower, leading to the creation of America's first SWAT team by police, later a Kurt Russell movie
8/1/1942 Jerry Garcia born, singer. Ben & Jerry's Ice-cream named Cherry Garcia after him
Here's some advice from your friendly stock broker: #1. The market is going up, buy stock because you don’t want to miss out #2. The market is going down, buy stocks because they are cheaper and it’s a great buying opportunity!
6/19/2016 Anton Yelchin died (27) Russian-born actor best known for playing Chekov in recent two Star Trek films and a recent Terminator movie as Kyle Reese. He got out of his car in his driveway when it accidentally rolled crushing him. His family filed suit against Chrysler on August 2 for not issuing a recall for the known defect Google announced new computer keyboard on April 1 2016, for people in Japan addicted to smart phones
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs started on The Movie Channel: TMC schedule
"While other people come upon roadkill and see a dead animal, I see a new hat" Beth Beverly, Taxidermist
Half of the DNA in humans and bananas is the same, does that mean we are all half bananas?
Ray Harryhausen's legendary stop-motion creatures defined blockbuster special effects for decades and inspired entire generations of filmmakers. He died May 7th, 2013 at the age of 92.
Other deaths in 2013 included Tom Laughlin, star of the Bill Jack movies, and Peter O'Toole, costar of Supergirl movie and "My Favorite Year."
Note: Joe Bob's video host segments for "Blood Feast" have been added to the Blood & Donuts page cause I can't remember where I put the transcript for Blood Feast
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff" Frank Zappa Click here for the planet Alderran from the 1st Star Wars movie. The Shadow Knows
Peter Graves of Mission Impossible (TV-series) and the movie Airplane, has died. His son tried to help but to no avail. Walter Koenig's son Andrew, a childstar on "Growing Pains" as Boner, has been found dead of suicide. Members of the cast of Star Trek and Growing Pains have sent their sympathy to the family; he had been treated for depression and went off his meds. Walter Koenig asks that anyone wrestling with depression please get help or call someone
Josh Friedman (the Terminator TV series) is casting for a new Charlie's Angels TV-series on ABC and Moonlight's Alex O'Loughlin is close to an agreement to play the Jack Lord role in a new Hawaii 5-0. NBC has ordered several new pilots to fill the hole in primetime left by Jay Leno returning to the Tonight Show, including a new Rockford Files by the creator of TV's House, and a dramedy starring David Tennant (Who?) called "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" (I hope that's just a working title). American Movie Classics is adapting "The Walking Dead" zombie comic book for a new TV-series on the cable channel known for Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Starz is already running episodes of Sam Raimi's "Spartacus: Blood & Sand," with Lucy Lawless (Xena) as a Roman vamp. Remember Terry O'Quinn from the Monstervision feature Stepfather 2? He's no longer Mr. Nice Guy on the TV-series "Lost." He told TV Guide in January 2010 that in the 6th & final season, his character's "on a mission and he's a dark presence, almost like the devil. The more the others know about him, the more fear he inspires."
Hey, are you kids watching Play-Mate Of The Apes?
Note: Star Trek The Next Generation is on the SYFY channel as well as WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri
Zombieland full-length trailer #2
There are no zombies in Washington DC because they eat brains
In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis
Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Films
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer. Click here to please Zardoz.
He's Always Russian Around
Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help
What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?
Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency
Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts
If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime? A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days
Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com
Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.
----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------
The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it one of the most expensive movies ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself) Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)
If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.
MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese
Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere) There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision
See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.
This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).
There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.
If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.
"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)
People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.
The drive-in will never die!!!
"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator, Joe Bob
"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton
In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!
Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)
Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2˝˘ worth
Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!
Playboy Magazine has a new edition for married people, the centerfold is the same every month
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!
The chief characteristic of institutions is that if they have a purpose when they are started, it is forgotten as they mature"
Robert M. Hutchins
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking ~~ Amazon.com sucks ~~
International Women's Day was created by The Socialist Party of America in 1909. Soviet Russia proclaimed it in 1922, followed by the United Nations in the 1970s.
In the USA they used paper dollars until the collapse of 2017 when everyone switched to digital beads