These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the SYFY Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...
In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff. John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing
Today's schedule sponsored by Motel Hell, when only the very worst will do
This month, 2017
February 1 National Freedom Day
Chinese Spring Festival continues, it started on Friday 1-27-17, New Year's eve on the Chinese calendar, and lasts for 15 days, though workers in mainland China only get a one week vacation lasting until Feb. 2
2/1/1959 Ballistic Missile Early Warning System becomes operational
2/1/1939 born Don Everly, singer with brother as The Everly Brothers until he announced onstage that he was quitting
2/1/1952 born Rick James, singer
2/1/1953 Holland's famous earthen dikes breached by storm surge, 1800 people drowned, newer dikes never breached
again, and hundreds more drowned in southern England along the Thames
2/1/2014 actor Maximilian Schell died (83) MST3000 ep Hamlet (1962), Diary of Anne Frank (1980) Disney's The Black Hole (1979)
2/1/1902 Langston Hughes born
2/1/1862 Battle Hymn of the Republic by Julia Ward Howe published
2/2/2017 it's Groundhog Day again, just ask Bill Murray
2/2/2017 President Trump met with leaders of Harley-Davidson at the White House and they showed him their latest motorcycle
2/2/1955 Petula Clark has her 1st hit record in UK, but won't catch on in America for a decade
2/2/1787 General Benjamin Lincoln suppressed Shay's Rebellion
2/3/1959 Buddy Holly, Richie Valens & the Big Bopper (J.P. Richardson) killed in a plane crash while on tour
2/4/1941 The USO officially incorporated to provide entertainers to those enlisted in the military
2/4/1913 Rosa Parks born
2/4/1902 Charles Lindbergh born, aviator and inventor of blood centrifuges used to seperate whole blood to plasma
2/4/1974 Patty Hearst, granddaughter of William R. Hearst, kidnapped by the SLA and held for ransom
2/5/1777 Georgia's constitution adopted
2/5/2017 Superbowl 51 turned into one of the biggest upsets ever
2/5/1934 Hank Aaron born
2/6/1895 Babe Ruth born
2/6/2017 Constitution Day in Mexico
2/6/1911 Ronald Reagan born in Illinois, best US President in the 1980s decade
2/6/1950 born Natalie Cole, singer
2/7/1867 Laura Ingalls Wilder born, inspiration for Little House On The Prairie books written by her daughter
2/7/1812 Charles Dickens born "A Christmas Carol," Oliver Twist
2/8/1587 Mary, Queen of Scots, beheaded
2/8/1910 Boy Scouts founded
2/9/1894 Hershey's Chocolate founded
2/9/1942 Carole King born, singer
2/10/1908 1st Army contract with Wright Brothers for airplane, they thought view from air would prevent all future wars
2/10/1939 born Roberta Flack, singer
2/10/1954 The Glenn Miller Story starring Jimmy Stewart premieres, movie soundtrack of actual Miller
music is also a best-selling album
2/10/1957 Laura Ingalls Wilder died (90), writer & columnist about her pioneering family on the South Dakota prairie
2/11/2017 Full Moon, lock Larry Talbut in his room
2/11/1847 Thomas Edison born, inventor of the practical light bulb, phonograph, and electric chair
2/12/1809 Abraham Lincoln's Birthday, no longer an official holiday
2/12/1934 Union Pacific's diesel-powered 110 mph M-10000 passenger train begins national tour
2/12/1973 USAF C-141 lands in Hanoi to pick up 1st returning POWs
2/12/2017 Al Jarreau died (76) music incorporated elements of pop, soul, gospel, Latin and other genres, even
writing and singing the lyrics for the TV-series "Moonlighting" themesong
2/13/1741 First magazine published in American colonies
2/14 Valentine's Day
2/14/1855 CB&Q (Chicago Burlington & Quincy) railroad formed
2/14/1945 King of Saudi Arabia meets with U.S. President Roosevelt
2/14/1564 Galileo born
2/15/2017 National Flag Day in Canada
2/15/1732 George Washington born, no longer an official holiday
2/15/1820 Susan B. Anthony born, no longer a popular dollar coin
2/15/1951 born Melissa Manchester, singer
2/15 John Frum Day on the island of Tanna, the date they hope WW2 troops will someday return with more cargo
2/16/1935 born Sonny Bono, singer. Though Sonny & Cher ended after their divorce, Cher spoke at his funeral service
2/16/1923 King Tut's tomb opened, despite warnings of a curse
2/17/1963 Michael Jordan born basketball player
2/18/1930 Pluto discovered by Clyde Tombaugh, no longer considered a planet
2/19/1968 Mister Roger's Neighborhood debuts on PBS
2/19/1945 WW2 Battle of Iwo Jima begins
2/19/1912 First Cracker Jack prize
2/20/2017 Presidents Day (third Monday of February), Family Day in Canada
2/20/1946 born Jerome Geils, of the J Geils Band
2/20/1962 John Glenn orbits the Earth, astronaut and later Senator and later Space Shuttle astronaut
2/21/1842 First sewing machine patented, by John Greenough
2/22/1732 George Washington's birthday, no longer an official holiday
2/23/1896 First Tootsie Roll candies
2/23/1991 Desert Storm, the ground war in Iraq starts led by H Norman Schwarzkoff
2/24/2017 Flag Day in Mexico
2/24/1949 USAF reveals new jet rocket plane, XF-91
2/25/1945 B-29s begin night bombing of Tokyo, destroying 28,000 buildings the 1st night
2/25/1943 born George Harrison, singer with the Beatles and a fan of the Beach Boys and Spinal Tap
2/25/1841 born Pierre-August Renoir, artist
2/26/2017 New Moon, werewolf threat level green (the truth is out there)
2/26 Fairy Tale Day
2/26/1932 born Johnny Cash, singer
2/27/1991 Desert Storm ends after 100 hours, liberating Kuwait
2/27/2015 Leonard Nimoy died, Spock in the Star Trek TV-series and movies
2/27/1879 artificial sweetener Saccharin discovered
2/27/1807 Henry Wadsworth Longfellow born
2/28/1827 Baltimore and Ohio Railroad chartered
2/28/1854 Republican Party founded
2/28/1947 F-82 set record, flying non-stop Hawaii-New York in 14 hours 33 minutes
2/28/1942 born Brian Jones (drowned 7/3/69, less than a month after leaving the Rolling Stones)
2/29/2012 Davy Jones died, British rock & roll singer with The Monkees
3/1/1918 Congress finally passes Standard Time Act, recognizing Standard Time Zones created by the railroads
3/1/1872 Yellowstone National Park established
3/1/1961 Peace Corps founded
3/1/1946 General Spaatz designated Commander, AAF
3/1/1965 Petula Clark's 1st US hit "Downtown" goes gold
3/1/1957 Harry Belafonte's Banana Boat Song (Day-O) hits the British chart and sets off a British calypso craze
3/1/1944 Roger Daltrey born, volatile lead singer for the Who and star of movie "McVicar" (1980)
3/1/2017 Ash Wednesday, Ted Turner's least favorite day
6/19/2016 Anton Yelchin died (27) Russian-born actor best known for playing Chekov in recent two Star Trek films and a recent Terminator movie as Kyle Reese. He got out of his car in his driveway when it accidentally rolled crushing him. His family filed suit against Chrysler on August 2 for not issuing a recall for the known defect Google announced new computer keyboard on April 1 2016, for people in Japan addicted to smart phones
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs started on The Movie Channel: TMC schedule
"While other people come upon roadkill and see a dead animal, I see a new hat" Beth Beverly, Taxidermist
Half of the DNA in humans and bananas is the same, does that mean we are all half bananas?
Ray Harryhausen's legendary stop-motion creatures defined blockbuster special effects for decades and inspired entire generations of filmmakers. He died May 7th, 2013 at the age of 92.
Other deaths in 2013 included Tom Laughlin, star of the Bill Jack movies, and Peter O'Toole, costar of Supergirl movie and "My Favorite Year."
Note: Joe Bob's video host segments for "Blood Feast" have been added to the Blood & Donuts page cause I can't remember where I put the transcript for Blood Feast
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff" Frank Zappa Click here for the planet Alderran from the 1st Star Wars movie. The Shadow Knows
Peter Graves of Mission Impossible (TV-series) and the movie Airplane, has died. His son tried to help but to no avail. Walter Koenig's son Andrew, a childstar on "Growing Pains" as Boner, has been found dead of suicide. Members of the cast of Star Trek and Growing Pains have sent their sympathy to the family; he had been treated for depression and went off his meds. Walter Koenig asks that anyone wrestling with depression please get help or call someone
Josh Friedman (the Terminator TV series) is casting for a new Charlie's Angels TV-series on ABC and Moonlight's Alex O'Loughlin is close to an agreement to play the Jack Lord role in a new Hawaii 5-0. NBC has ordered several new pilots to fill the hole in primetime left by Jay Leno returning to the Tonight Show, including a new Rockford Files by the creator of TV's House, and a dramedy starring David Tennant (Who?) called "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" (I hope that's just a working title). American Movie Classics is adapting "The Walking Dead" zombie comic book for a new TV-series on the cable channel known for Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Starz is already running episodes of Sam Raimi's "Spartacus: Blood & Sand," with Lucy Lawless (Xena) as a Roman vamp. Remember Terry O'Quinn from the Monstervision feature Stepfather 2? He's no longer Mr. Nice Guy on the TV-series "Lost." He told TV Guide in January 2010 that in the 6th & final season, his character's "on a mission and he's a dark presence, almost like the devil. The more the others know about him, the more fear he inspires."
Hey, are you kids watching Play-Mate Of The Apes?
Note: Star Trek The Next Generation is on the SYFY channel as well as WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri
Zombieland full-length trailer #2
There are no zombies in Washington DC because they eat brains
In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis
Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Films
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer. Click here to please Zardoz.
He's Always Russian Around
Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help
What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?
Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency
Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts
If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime? A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days
Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com
Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.
----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------
The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it one of the most expensive movies ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself) Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)
If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.
MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese
Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere) There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision
See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.
This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).
There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.
If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.
"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)
People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.
The drive-in will never die!!!
"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator, Joe Bob
"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton
In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!
Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)
Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2˝˘ worth
Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!
Playboy Magazine has a new edition for married people, the centerfold is the same every month
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!
The chief characteristic of institutions is that if they have a purpose when they are started, it is forgotten as they mature"
Robert M. Hutchins
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking ~~ Amazon.com sucks ~~
International Women's Day was created by The Socialist Party of America in 1909. Soviet Russia proclaimed it in 1922, followed by the United Nations in the 1970s.
In the USA they used paper dollars until the collapse of 2017 when everyone switched to digital beads