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www.Monstervision.org



Monstervision Movie Reviews and Host Segments, and 100% Wierd Listings for your viewing pleasure this month
Monstervision 1997 logo

Welcome to the Mostervision page.

FAQ (frequently asked question): What's the difference between Monstervision on TNT and Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the Sci-Fi channel?
Monster jokes "There are 3 types of people in the world - those who are good at math and those who aren't."

Past movies have included Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, all 3 Poltergeist movies (in a row, the same night), Back to the Future, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Stephen King's The Dead Zone and Christine, and even a couple of films they also made fun of on MST3K...
Following the Monstervision movie or movies was a film that TNT considers "100% Wierd". Sometimes it has something to do with the evening's selection (2 Godzilla movies were followed by "All Monsters Attack") and sometimes not. Sometimes "100% Wierd" was just a short film, Bigfoot: Man or Beast ... which is about 50% wierd. Or the classic Japanese TV-series Ultra 7, or Gilligan's Island, which is just plain silly. Each summer, Professor Joe Bob Briggs would conduct his own Summer School

These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the Sci Fi Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...

Books by Joe Bob Briggs are available from his Amazon.com direct link

In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff.
John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing

MonsterVision movies transcripts list so far

Classic SciFi, Fantasy, Horror, or just plain campy monster movies previously seen on Monstervision, now scheduled on other channels (click title for Monstervision review & host segments, if available).
EST, Times shown before 7am are considered night of previous day, so you can set your VCR before going to sleep. I appologize if there are any mistakes. I didn't want to be a barber I wanted to be a Lumberjack

This Week


Date/time       Movie Title/Description Links                    Channel

Mon 11/16/09:
8:00 am         Joan Of Arcadia 8am-4pm                          SYFY
9am/12pm EST    Suddenly Last Summer (1959, she knows what you saw) Turner Classic Movies
12pm/3pm EST    I Dream Of Jeannie & Bewitched (2 eps)   WGN (mon-fri)
1:15/4:15 EST   Hitchcock's Mr. & Mrs. Smith (1941 comedy)       Turner Classic Movies
3pm/6pm EST     Father Goose (WW2 comedy, Cary Grant as the Filthy Beast) Turner Classic Movies
5pm/8pm EST     The Roaring 20s (1939, Bogart, James Cagney)     Turner Classic Movies
7:00 pm         Ghost Whisperer (4 eps)                          SYFY
  Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis) Spike (formerly TNN)
  Fred Claus (2007, Santa's neer-do-well brother)                HBO #2
7pm/10pm EST    Point Break (1991, undercover surfing FBI agents) Fox Movie Channel
7pm/10pm EST    Ziegfeld Girl (Judy Garland, Lana Turner, Hedy Lamarr) Turner Classic Movies
7:15 & 9pm      Chronicles Of Narnia 2: Prince Caspian (2008)    Starz
8:00 pm         House (new ep)                                   FOX
  Bait Car (new eps)                                             TruTV
  Heroes (new ep)                                                NBC
  Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie (2003)                      Comedy Central
  A Dennis The Menace Christmas (2007, Robert Wagner)            Family Channel
  A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994, Keenan Ivory Wayans, Charles Dutton) BET
  Mission Impossible 2                                           Flix
  The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2                        HBO
  Sky High (2005, a high school for superhero kids, Kurt Russell, Lynda Carter) Disney Channel
8pm & 12am      WW2 in HD (new eps)                              History Channel
8pm & 10pm      The Prisoner (new ep)                            American Movie Classics
8pm & 10pm      Legally Blonde (2001)                            Oxygen
8:05 pm         Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)                   Showtime #2
8:30 pm         The Plague (2006)                                The Movie Channel
9:00 pm         Lie To Me (new ep)                               FOX
  The Bourne Ultimatum (2007, the third one)                     More Max
9:40 pm         Pretty Woman (1990, Julia Roberts, Richard Gere) Encore
10:00 pm        CSI Miami (new ep)                               CBS
  Castle (new ep)                                                ABC
  Evil Has A Face (1996)                                         LMN
  Yes Man (2008, Jim Carrey)                                     Cinemax
10:05/1:05 EST  Beyond the Valley of the Dolls                   IFC
11:00 pm        (ANIME MONDAY) MONSTER/MACROSS PLUS              SYFY
6am/9am EST     Rafter Romance (1933, Ginger Rogers)             Turner Classic Movies
followed by     Twenty Million Sweethearts (1934, Ginger Rogers) Turner Classic Movies
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tues 11/17/09:
8:00 AM         Outer Limits 8am-4pm                             SYFY
3pm/6pm EST     Meet John Doe (1941, Gary Cooper gets used)      Turner Classic Movies
5pm/8pm EST     Once Upon A Time In The West (1969, Sergio Leone) Turner Classic Movies
6:15 pm         Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (2008)                Cinemax
7:00 pm         Scare Tactics 7pm-10pm (followed by professional wrestling) SYFY
  The American President (1995, a past Monstervision feature)    HBO Signature
  Space Chimps                                                   HBO Family
7pm/10pm EST    White Men Can't Jump (Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes) Fox Movie Channel
7:30 pm         SWAT (2003, Samuel L. Jackson)                   FX Channel
8:00 pm         V (new ep)                                       ABC
  Biography (3 eps, John Ritter, Lavern & Shirley, Don Knotts)   Bio Channel
  Merry Madagascar (new, the animated animals help Carl Reiner as Santa) NBC
  NCIS & NCIS Los Angeles (new eps)                              CBS
  The Prisoner (new eps)                                         American Movie Classics
  3rd Rock From The Sun marathon                                 TV-Land
  Minutemen (2008, high school students use a time machine)      Disney Channel
  Rat Race (2001, Rowan Atkinson)                                Flix
  10 Things I Hate About You (1999)                              Encore
8pm/11pm EST    Fellini's 8 1/2 (1963)                           Turner Classic Movies
8:15 pm         The Bucket List (2007)                           Cinemax
8:30 pm         Apollo 13 (1995, Tom Hanks) "Houston, we have a problem" HBO #2
  The Mummy...Dragon Emperor (2008)                              HBO Family
9:00 pm         Scare Tactics (new ep, radioactive ooze)         SYFY
  The Good Witch (2008, Catherine Bell)                          Hallmark Channel
9pm & 11pm      WW2 in HD (new eps)                              History Channel
9:30 pm         Jumper (2008 scifi/fantasy)                      HBO
10:00 pm        The Forgotten (new ep)                           ABC
  The Good Wife (new ep)                                         CBS
  The Time Machine (2002 remake of the Monstervision feature)    Cinemax
10pm & 2am      Parking Wars (new ep)                            A and E
10:30 pm        X-Men                                            HBO Family
10:30/1:30 EST  Don't Make Waves (1967, Tony Curtis, Sharon Tate) Turner Classic Movies
3:00 AM         SHE-CREATURE                                     SYFY
3am/6am EST     You'll Find Out (1940 comedy, Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre) Turner Classic Movies
7am/10am EST    Top Banana (1954, Phil Silvers, Jack Albertson)  Turner Classic Movies
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wed 11/18/09:
8:00 AM         The Twilight Zone 8am-4pm                        SYFY
1pm/4pm EST     The Americanization Of Emily (1964, James Garner, Julie Andrews) Turner Classic Movies
5pm/8pm EST     The Harvey Girls (Judy Garland, Angela Lansbury) Turner Classic Movies
7:00 PM         Ghost Hunters 7pm-1am                            SYFY
  The Golden Compass (2007, Daniel Craig)                        HBO Family
8:00 pm         Secrets of Shangri-La & Lost Caves of the Himalaya (new) PBS
  The Dark Knight (2008)                                         HBO
  Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines                             American Movie Classics
9:00 pm         Criminal Minds & CSI: NY (new eps)               CBS
  Ghost Hunters (new eps)                                        SYFY
  The Hitcher                                                    HBO Signature
  The Strangers (2008, don't answer the door)                    More Max
9pm & 11pm      WW2 in HD (new eps)                              History Channel
9pm/12am EST    Taps (1981, George C. Scott & miltary cadets vs. developers) Fox Movie Channel
9:45/12:45 EST  A Fistful of Dynamite                            IFC
10:00 pm        Bank Of Mom & Dad (new ep)                       SoapNet
  Bedtime Stories (2008, what if everything you read came to life?) Starz
  Oliver Stone's The Doors (1991 docu)                           HBO #2
  3:10 To Yuma (2007)                                            The Movie Channel
  Yes Man (Jim Carrey, 2008)                                     Cinemax
10:30 pm        End Of Days (Schwarzenegger vs. Satan)           American Movie Classics
3:00 AM         ARABIAN NIGHTS - PART ONE                        SYFY
3am/6am EST     Abbott & Costello in Africa Screams (1949)       Turner Classic Movies
followed by     Jack & the Beanstalk (1952)                      Turner Classic Movies
6am/9am EST     The Philadelphia Story (1940, competing tabloid reporters) Turner Classic Movies
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thurs 11/19/09:
8:00 am         First Wave 8am-4pm                               SYFY
8am/11am EST    Greatest Show On Earth (1952 circus, Charlton Heston, Jimmy Stewart) Turner Classic Movies
10:45/1:45 EST  The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946, make it look like an accident) Turner Classic Movies
12:45/3:45 EST  The Shaggy Dog (1959 fantasy)                    Turner Classic Movies
6:35 pm         The Distinguished Gentleman (Eddie Murphy as conman elected to Washington) Cinemax
7:00 pm         Masters Of Horror 7pm-11pm                       SYFY
  Death To Smoochy (2002, Robin Williams)                        HBO Signature
  Frost/Nixon (2008)                                             More Max
  Horton Hears A Who (animated, voice of Jim Carrey)             HBO Family
7:30 pm         Click (2006)                                     FX Channel
  Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent (2008)                      SYFY
8:00 pm         FlashForward (new ep)                            ABC
  Biography: Amy Winehouse, the Red Hot Chili Peppers & Kurt Cobain (1 hour each) Bio Channel
  Bones & Fringe (new eps)                                       FOX
  Vampire Diaries & Supernatural (new eps)                       CW (formerly WB)
  World Magic Awards (new)                                       MyNetworkTV (formerly UPN)
  Armageddon (1998, giant asteroid headed to Earth)              Encore
  Dadnapped (2009)                                               Disney Channel
  The Green Mile (1999, Stephen King, Tom Hanks)                 American Movie Classics
  Menace 2 Society (1993)                                        BET
  Rules Of Engagement (2000, Samuel L. Jackson, Tommy Lee Jones) The Movie Channel
  Sukiyaki Western Django (2007, Japanese spaghetti western homage) Showtime #2
  Terror In Mumbai                                               HBO
8pm/11pm EST    Motel Hell (1980, a past Monstervision movie)    IFC
8:05 pm         Cold Turkey (1971, big tobacco Bob Newhart vs. small town Dick Van Dyke) Flix
8:30 pm         Ninja Warrior (2 eps, better than most American reality shows) G4/Tech TV
  Meet Dave (2008, Eddie Murphy as a goofy alien)                Cinemax
  Speed Racer (2008, live-action)                                HBO Family
9:00 pm         Jeff Dunham show (new ep)                        Comedy Central
  CSI Crime Scene Investigation (new ep)                         CBS
  Smoking Gun Presents: Dumbest Criminals (new ep)               TruTV
  The Amateurs (2005, small town decides to make sex film to raise money) Showtime
  Best Little Whorehouse In Texas (1982, Dolly Parton, Burt Reynolds) CMT
  Changeling (2008, that's not my child)                         HBO Signature
  Mutants (2008)                                                 SYFY
  Sex & the City (2008 movie)                                    More Max
9pm & 11pm      WW2 in HD (new eps)                              History Channel
9pm/12am EST    The Kill (1952, Grace Kelly)                     Turner Classic Movies
9:05 pm         Meet The Spartans (2008 spoof of Troy & the 300) HBO
  Never Back Down (2008, teen fight club)                        Starz
9:15/12:15 EST  My Cousin Vinny (1992 comedy, Joe Pesci, Fred Gwynne) Fox Movie Channel
9:45/12:45 EST  Turistas (not exactly welcome)                   IFC
10:00 pm        The Mentalist (new ep)                           CBS
  Get On The Bus (1996, Ossie Davis)                             Flix
  It Only Hurts When I Laugh (new eps)                           TruTV
10pm/1am EST    Barbarosa (1982, Gary Busey, Willie Nelson)      Turner Classic Movies
10:15 pm        Rescue Dawn (Christian Bale)                     The Movie Channel
10:35 pm        Scent Of A Woman (Pacino as a bitter blind man)  Encore
11:00 PM        WAR OF THE WORLDS 2: THE NEXT WAVE               SYFY
11:30/2:30 EST  Songwriter (1984, Willie Nelson)                 Turner Classic Movies
1:15/4:15 EST   Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969, Robert Blake) Turner Classic Movies
3:00 AM         ARABIAN NIGHTS - PART TWO                        SYFY
3am/6am EST     The Falcon marathon (elevin movies, 1941-45)     Turner Classic Movies
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fri 11/20/09:
8:00 am         Invasion 8am-4pm                                 SYFY
5:00 pm         Stargate & Sanctuary eps 5pm-3am                 SYFY
5pm/8pm EST     One Potato, Two Potato (1964, interracial dad not allowed) Turner Classic Movies
5:30 pm         An Officer & a Gentleman (1982, Richard Gere, Debra Winger) Oxygen
6:00 pm         Click (2006 fantasy, Adam Sandler)               FX Channel
  Hannibal (2001, he's a cannibal)                               Bravo
6:20 pm         Traitor (2008)                                   Starz
6:30 pm         Batman Forever (1995, Riddle me this, riddle me that) ION (formerly PAX)
6:50 pm         Journey To The Center of the Earth (Brendan Fraser) Cinemax
7:00 pm         Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix (2007)   HBO Family
  Santa Who? (2000)                                              Family Channel
  Street Kings (2008, Keanu Reeves)                              More Max
7pm/10pm EST    The Landlord (1970, Beau Bridges, Lee Grant)     Turner Classic Movies
7:15 pm         Grey Gardens                                     HBO Signature
7:25 pm         Lake City                                        Showtime #2
7:30/10:30 EST  Mother Night (1996, Nick Nolte)                  IFC
9pm/12am EST    The Great White Hope (1970, James Earl Jones)    Turner Classic Movies
11pm/2am EST    The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy (1958 megacheeze)  Turner Classic Movies
12:15/3:15 EST  Curse Of The Mummy's Tomb (1964)                 Turner Classic Movies
1:45/4:45 EST   Mummy's Boys (1936, Wheeler & Woolsey in the cursed tomb) Turner Classic Movies
3:00 AM         PERFECT CREATURE                                 SYFY
7:30/10:30 EST  The Blue Gardenia (1953, it was self-defense)    Turner Classic Movies
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sat 11/21/09:
9:00 am         Ghost Hunters Academy, followed by movies        SYFY 
9am/12pm EST    The Naked Spur (1953, James Stewart, Janet Leigh) Turner Classic Movies
10:00 AM        JUDGE DREDD                                      SYFY
11am/2pm EST    I Shot Jesse James (1949, he's still a coward)   Turner Classic Movies
12:00 PM        A SOUND OF THUNDER by Ray Bradbury               SYFY
2:00 PM         KING ARTHUR (no relation to Uncle Arthur)        SYFY
4:30 PM         ULTRAVIOLET                                      SYFY
5pm/8pm EST     Hot Shots, Part Deux (1993, Charlie Sheen comedy) Fox Movie Channel
6pm & 8:30pm    Demolition Man (1993, Stallone vs. Wesley Snipes in the future) ION (formerly PAX)
6:30 PM         TOTAL RECALL (1990)                              SYFY
7:00 pm         007 in Die Another Day (2002, Pierce Brosnan)    Spike
  Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (2007, here there be monsters) USA Network
  Princess Protection Program (a teen princess hides out in Louisiana) Disney Channel
7pm/10pm EST    Hot Shots, Part Deux (1993, Charlie Sheen comedy) Fox Movie Channel
7:15/10:15 EST  Tunes Of Glory (1960, Alec Guinness)             Turner Classic Movies
7:30 pm         Troy (2004, Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom)            FX Channel
7:30/10:30 EST  Hannibal (2001, the cannibal)                    WGN
7:55 pm         Witness Protect (2008)                           Showtime #2
8:00 pm         Cops & America's Most Wanted (new eps)           FOX
  Aliens (1986 sequel to Alien, Sigourney Weaver, Paul Reiser)   American Movie Classics
  Boyz N the Hood (1991, John Singleton, Cuba Gooding, Jr)       BET
  Day The Earth Stood Still (2008 pointless remake)              HBO
  How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966 animated, voice of Boris Karloff) TBS
  The Mummy Returns (2001, Brendan Fraser sequel)                Encore
  Mr. St. Nick (2002, Kelsey Grammer as Santa's son)             Hallmark Channel
  Once Upon A Christmas (2000, Kathy Ireland tries to keep Santa from retiring) Family Channel
  Striptease (1996, Demi Moore as a working it mother)           Flix
  Trading Places (1983, Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy, a past Monstervision feature) VH-1
8pm & 12am      The Kennedy Assassination 24 Hours After (2 hour) History Channel
8pm & 10:30pm   Shooter (2007, Mark Wahlberg, Danny Glover)      TNT
8pm/11pm EST    Havoc (2005)                                     IFC
8:30 & 10:15pm  The Cat In The Hat (2003 live-action, Mike Myers, Alec Baldwin) TBS
8:40 pm         Camp Rock (2008, high school musical at summer camp) Disney Channel
9:00 PM         Cats 101 (new ep, Somalis, Japanese Bobtails)    Animal Planet
  IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE (2008, based on the videogame) SYFY
  Kinky Killers (2007)                                           The Movie Channel
9pm/12am EST    Hot Shots, Part Deux (1993, Charlie Sheen comedy) Fox Movie Channel
9:30 pm         Good Luck Chuck (2007)                           Showtime #2
10:00 pm        Ace Ventura (looking for a rare bat)             MTV
  Jumper (2008 scif/fantasy)                                     HBO
  Party Girl (1995)                                              Flix
  Twice Upon A Christmas (2001, Santa's daughter vs. her evil twin) Family Channel
10pm/1am EST    Monty Python: The Lawyer's Cut (part 5 of 6)     IFC
10pm/1am EST    Gone In 60 Seconds                               WGN
10:15 pm        Rambo 3 (Stallone in Afghanistan)                Encore
10:30 pm        Miner's Massacre (2003, or would you rather go to Donner's party?) The Movie Channel
11:30 PM        FIRE AND ICE                                     SYFY
1:30 AM         DRAGON SWORD                                     SYFY
3:30 AM         BLOODRAYNE                                       SYFY
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sun 11/22/09:
9:00 AM         MAGMA: VOLCANIC DISASTER                         SYFY
11:00 AM        JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH               SYFY
11am/2pm EST    The Parent Trap (1961, Hayley Mills)             Turner Classic Movies
1:00 PM         PATH OF DESTRUCTION                              SYFY
3:00 PM         BLACK HOLE (no relation to Anthony Perkin's The Black Hole) SYFY
5:00 PM         POST IMPACT                                      SYFY
  Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005, married assassins are hired to kill each other) FX Channel
5pm/8pm EST     Violent Saturday (1955, bank robbery gone wrong) Turner Classic Movies
5pm/8pm EST     Die Hard (Bruce Willis)                          Fox Movie Channel
5:15 pm         There Will Be Blood (2007)                       Showtime
5:30 pm         Angel Eyes                                       HBO Signature
  The Road Warrior (Mad Max 2, a past Monstervision movie)       American Movie Classics
  Shooter (2007, Mark Wahlberg)                                  TNT
5:45 pm         Strangers                                        More Max
  The Wizard Of Oz (1939, Judy Garland)                          TBS
6:00 pm         Goodfellas (1990, Scorsese, DeNiro, Pesci, Liotta) Bravo
  Santa Baby (2006)                                              Family Channel
6pm/9pm EST     The Assassination Tango (Robert Duvall as an aging hitman) IFC
6:30 pm         Mr. Woodcock (2007, Billy Bob Thornton as sadistic gym teacher) Cinemax
  Beverly Hills Ninja (1997 comedy)                              Encore
  Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One For The Road (2006)               Comedy Central
  Wes Craven's They (2002)                                       Flix
6:35 pm         Apocalypto (2006, bloody hell)                   Starz
7:00 PM         Bee Movie (animated, 2007)                       HBO Family
  Day The Earth Stood Still (2008 pointless remake)              HBO
  History of Thanksgiving                                        History Channel
  LIGHTNING STRIKES (2009, Kevin Sorbo)                          SYFY
  The Lost Boys (with fangs, 1987)                               G4/Tech TV
  Waterworld (1995, Kevin Costner vs. global warming disaster)   ION (formerly PAX)
7pm/10pm EST    The Vikings (1958, Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, Janet Leigh) Turner Classic Movies
7:15 pm         Big (1988 fantasy, Tom Hanks)                    More Max
7:30 pm         The Simpsons (2 eps)                             FOX
  Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome (a past Monstervision feature)   American Movie Classics
7:30/10:30 EST  Brubaker (1980 prison-fu, Yaphet Kotto, Robert Redford) Fox Movie Channel
8:00 pm         The Simpsons (new ep)                            FOX
  Dexter (2 eps)                                                 Showtime
  The Departed (2006, Scorsese, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson)      FX Channel
  Holiday In Handcuffs (2007)                                    Family Channel
  How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966, voice of Boris Karloff)  TBS
  Manhunter (1986, are the lambs screaming?)                     Flix
  Meet The Santas (2005, Steve Guttenberg)                       Hallmark Channel
  Passenger 57 (1992, Wesley Snipes, always bet on black)        Encore
  The Patriot (2000, Mel Gibson vs. the Redcoats in 1776)        TNT
8pm/11pm EST    Crash (2004)                                     IFC
8:15 pm         War, Inc. (2008, assassination gone wrong)       Showtime #2
8:30 pm         Get Smart (2008, would you believe Steve Carell) HBO Family
8:30 & 10:15pm  The Cat In The Hat (2003 live-action, Mike Myers, Alec Baldwin) TBS
9:00 PM         3 Rivers (new ep, black market organs)           CBS
  Bill Engvall: Aged & Confused (new)                            Comedy Central
  Dexter (new ep)                                                Showtime
  FIRE DOWN BELOW (2009, Kevin Sorbo)                            SYFY
  The Gathering                                                  More Max
  The Haunting Of Molly Hartley (2008)                           Starz
  Hotel For Dogs (2009)                                          HBO #2
  The Santa Clause (1994, Tim Allen)                             Disney Channel
9pm/12am EST    Bewitched (2 eps) & I Dream Of Jeannie (2 eps)   WGN
10:00 pm        Cold Case (new ep)                               CBS
  Babylon AD (2008, Vin Diesel powered)                          Cinemax
10pm/1am EST    Broken Arrow (please don't shoot at the nuclear weapons) Fox Movie Channel
10:15 pm        Rescue Dawn (Christian Bale)                     The Movie Channel
11:00 PM        SOMETHING BENEATH                                SYFY
1am/4am EST     Carnal Knowledge (1971, Jack Nicholson, Ann-Margret) Turner Classic Movies
3:00 AM         FIRE: NATURE UNLEASHED                           SYFY
3am/6am EST     He Was Her Man (1934, James Cagney, Joan Blondell) Turner Classic Movies
7:15/10:15 EST  Blackwell's Island (1939)                        Turner Classic Movies
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mon 11/23/09:
8:00 AM         JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS 4-hour remake)           SYFY
11:15/2:15 EST  River's End (1940)                               Turner Classic Movies
12:00 PM        CURSE OF KING TUT, THE (4-hour)                  SYFY
3:15/6:15 EST   Valley Of The Kings (1954)                       Turner Classic Movies  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over 50 dead or wounded at Ford Hood, TX. If you would like to donate blood, please call the Red Cross. The Islamic shooter is said to be out of a coma and in custody
Note: Star Trek The Next Generation has moved from SYFY channel to WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST unless there's something more important, like baseball. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri

Zombieland full-length trailer #2

There are no zombies in Washington DC because they eat brains

This day in history:
11/16/73 David Bowie's 1st TV special airs in NBC's Midnight Special timeslot, taped at London's Marquee Club. It was one of the few clubs that would book him with his first group because "we were a very freaky band." 11/16/78 the Air Force orders 5 stealth fighters after testing one in Area 51 for a year. All training flights for the eventual 3 squadrons of 59 stealth fighters are made at night to prevent photos from being taken of the secret planes. 11/17/68 the ending of the Jets-Raiders football game is cut off by network broadcast of "Heidi," triggering thousands of angry phonecalls from fans. 11/17/97 Islamic militants kill 62 tourists at Luxor, Egypt, after the first two convictions of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing.

11/18/56 Krushchev says to Western ambassadors in Moscow, "History is on our side, we will dig you in" misquoted as "We will bury you." 11/18/72 Chuck Berry's "My Ding-a-ling" hits #1 on UK popchart a month after hitting #1 in US. Stepin Fetchit died 11/19/85, 1st black actor to replace white actors in blackface in movies, 1st balck actor to earn $1,000,000. Sadly, many still consider him a sellout. Chuck Berry is released from Lompoc Prison 11/19/79 for tax evasion. 11/20/45 Nuremberg War Crime trials begin. 11/20/23 the German Mark was devalued by a trillion-to-one due to rampant inflation, food riots break out. 11/20/79 the Grand Mosque of Mecca was taken over by fanatics with 90 hostages. Ronald Reagan announces his first presidential candidacy, against incumbant Gerald Ford 11/20/75. Isaac Hayes "Theme From Shaft" hit #1 on 11/20/71. Fidelio (aka Leonore) premiered in Vienna 11/20/1805, Beethoven's only opera.

Click here to please Zardoz.
Barack Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize, was nominated 1 month after innauguration. In a clear swipe at his predecessor, George W. Bush, the committee praised the “change in the international climate” that the President had brought, along with his cherished goal of ridding the world of nuclear weapons
In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis, then she sent her flying monkeys to find Dorothy in Oz.

Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Flims
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling
ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer, but possibly not star in it, sometime in 2011. Click here to please Zardoz.

30 Days of Night

(as reenacted by cartoon bunnies)

He's Always Russian Around


Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help

What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?

Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:


John Wayne's opinion of gun control
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency

Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts

If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime?
A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days

Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com

There are former MonsterVision movies on the following entire-month channel's pages. Whenever possible, I have made the movie titles on these pages MonsterVision review/host segments links:
American Movie Classics ... Turner Classic Movies ... A&E ... History Channel ... Independent Film Channel ... Encore ... Starz ... Starz in Black ... Starz Edge ... Starz Comedy ... Encore's Mystery ... Drama and Action Channels and Wam ... HBO & Cinemax ... Showtime ... Showtime's Flix Channel ... The Movie Channel ... Showtime's Family Zone and Sundance ... Showtime #2 (Showtime Too), Showtime Showcase, Showtime Extreme, Showtime Beyond, Showtime Women ... Showtime Next. Showtime HD appears to be the same as Showtime ... Starz Cinema ... Starz HDTV ... Encore Westerns ... MoviePlex ... RetroPlex ... Starz Kids & Family and Encore's Love Channel ... SciFi Channel movies & TV-marathons ... USA Network movies. Bravo!
Fox Movie Channel no longer has monthly listings, just a non-text daily list on their flash website
See Dinner & A Movie page for upcoming TBS Dinner & A Movie (Fridays), Movie & A Makeover (Saturdays), TBS Movie Extra (Thursdays & Sundays)

Make your own banners completely free of charge at IntantBannerCreator.com

Previous MonsterVision listings here (last month, 2009)
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Monstervision's 100% Weird



A full-color recreation of Joe Bob's Saturday Night homepage (1999/2000) is now viewable. The links all work.
BBC will stop playing April Fools Day pranks when penguins fly

Yes, that's Terry Jones of Monty Python as the host, 2008
How it was created

Of course, April is also the month of the annual Spaghetti Harvest

Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.

Full seasons now available: Buy Smallville DVDs at WBTVShop.com!

What if Ebay had a secret website where everything is half-off all the time? Click here

Check out the new ad for Indiana Jones 4 (2008)

MST3K is Back!   - RiffTrax

More weird videos posted at the Ripley's Believe It Or Not pages

1980s eps of Knight Rider have moved to MyRTN: Retro Television Network, available in 40 states so far

Click Here if you don't know what "Click Here" means
Click here if you think your job sucks. What's up, Tiger Lily?

MonsterVision Bios of Joe Bob, the Mail Girl, etc. And of course, Professor Joe Bob also has his own Q&A page

Joe Bob Briggs recent interview (January 2006) page 1, page 2...Interview with Mike Nelson of MST3000
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------


The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it the most expensive movie ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself)
Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)

Ed Wood (with Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi, as he was filming Plan 9 from Outer Space) is seen occasionally on AMC's sister station, Independent Film Channel

Download & watch your favorite TV-shows online from episodes of "24" to Star Trek, whether they're available on video/DVD or not!
Or your choice of over 3000 movies online

Joe Bob Briggs interview from November 2006 is now archived online

You've heard about it, check it out for yourself. The George Orwell spoof: Why 2008 won't be like 1984 put together by a fan of Obama

Clip posted at YouTube: Bob Denver intros Mysterious Island for TNT's MonsterVision

If this link doesn't work it's not my fault (no pathetic excuses)

Would you like to have Joe Bob speak at
your next meeting or corporate event?
Fill out this form, so that he can get back
to you with all the exciting details!

Aslan Take them The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe theatrical trailers swiped from
www.Narnia.com
have been moved to the new
Chronicles of Narnia movie page
Aslan is on the move. Sequel coming soon

Check out Pirates Of The Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest or the Flying Dutchman may get you with its kracken

Golden Age of Radio online including The Shadow and Doc Savage


Happy Halloween from Dr. Loomis
Note: if you used a search engine to get to this page, the listings may be out of date. Click here to refresh page:
Webmasters, feel free to link to this entire page - http://www.Monstervision.org
There will never be popups or popunders here, though I do enjoy a good apple popover now and then if its cooked right

Remember, it's just Five Million Years To Earth

If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.

MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese

Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere)
There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision

Joe Bob's unlisted phone numberClick here for Joe Bob's secret home phone number

This vast website devoted to Monstervision built and maintained by half-vast fans

Best movies ever made by Japanese guys in monster suits...with links to Monstervision's host segments for "Godzilla" and "Godzilla vs Mothra" (Joe Bob just loved the tiny women who sing to Mothra)

A word from God

Big Trouble In Little China fans, for a free computer game based on your favorite movie, go to the Big Trouble In Little China computer game on the Wingkong.net fan website for free download. And don't worry if you don't get the rules right away, you weren't brought into this world to get it, Mr. Burton.
And here's Kurt Russell's opinion of Osama Bin Ladin.
Email: scifans@gmail

Click here to sign up for a weekly Email from Joe Bob, news you can't use, guaranteed. Want to drop Joe Bob a note? Send email to joebob@joebobbriggs.com

Longer version of that music the Phantom plays on a pipe organ

Click here for Christine (the movie review & host segments, not the demon-possessed car from Hell itself)

Or visit Boris Karloff, he's lonely

Kolchak, the Night Stalker page

Lock your doors, lock your windows, and click here for the "Halloween" movies

Halloween is 20 years old, happy birthday!

Animated graphics © 2003 by The Animation Factory.

Be vewy vewy qwiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Bad, bad talking-cat

® Monstervision is a registered trademark of nobody

This electric site
Help keep this on a popup-free website. Buy something from our sponsors!
Click here to hear your computer scream again

Or here for Return of the Living Dead

Please note: this website is for intelligent people, not this guy
Was that the boogie-man?

Guess who's coming to dinner

Welcome to the party, pal

Monstervision Error 404 Page (it's fun)

See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.

Episodes of Wierd Science can be seen on Starz channel "Wam" What do you little maniacs want to do first?

The Visitors are coming to the Sci-Fi Channel in a remake of "V" with Robert Englund of Nightmare On Elm Street as a "friendly" alien

Greetings from The Visitors

Hamster Dance!

Or visit the Neko homepage

Click here if you want to be a spammer

Note: if you want to printout this page, be sure your printer is set to black ink & no background. And that it has ink in it. And paper

Monstervision…

What was the question again?

42% of all statistics are fake

10 Reasons Not To Kill George Bush


Your uncle was a monkey, swinging through the trees
Or don't you believe in Human origins?

Willard! There are rats in the basement!

"The majority is always wrong" - Steve McQueen

View MonsterVision Guestbook
Sign MonsterVision Guestbook


Terrorists are not cowards, they're the enemy...Annihilate them
Joe Bob Briggs

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and ookie, they're altogether spooky, the Addams Family.

It's A Joke, Son (256k video mp4)

Important Note: This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).

There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.

If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.

"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)

People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.

The drive-in will never die!!!

"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator,
Joe Bob

"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton

Many more blonde jokes

The latest blond joke is in the Miss Teenage America contest from someplace on the maps known as Carolina (not near Asian countries or the Iraq) and all of you U.S. Americans can see it here

Heroes of 9/11 and 3000 Names

This page © the great and powerful Bill Laidlaw. Remember, Coca Cola has been 100% cocaine-free since 1929

Google
In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!

Legal crap for this world wide website

Happy New Year from my cat

Fun fact: As of 1995, Yahoo.com had a indexed over 15,000 websites!

Some graphics on this page are from the Angelfire Graphics Library...That's the fact, Jack

Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)

Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2½¢ worth

Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!

What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!

The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun
Ralph Nader (1980)
Sometimes it's hard to get a Taxi


Save the Sea Kittens
Are banks a necessary evil or just plain evil?
"The nincompoops in my audience greatly outnumber the compoops"
Brother Theodore Gottlieb (1996) David Letterman Show
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking
Fun with audio:
If you say "Thank you Satan" into your computer and play it backwards, it sounds like "Yes We Can"
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