Past movies have included Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, all 3 Poltergeist movies (in a row, the same night), Back to the Future, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Stephen King's The Dead Zone and Christine, and even a couple of films they also made fun of on MST3K...
Following the Monstervision movie or movies was a film that TNT considers "100% Wierd". Sometimes it has something to do with the evening's selection (2 Godzilla movies were followed by "All Monsters Attack") and sometimes not. Sometimes "100% Wierd" was just a short film, Bigfoot: Man or Beast ... which is about 50% wierd. Or the classic Japanese TV-series Ultra 7, or Gilligan's Island, which is just plain silly. Each summer, Professor Joe Bob Briggs would conduct his own Summer School
These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the Sci Fi Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...
In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff. John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing
Classic SciFi, Fantasy, Horror, or just plain campy monster movies previously seen on Monstervision, now scheduled on other channels (click title for Monstervision review & host segments, if available). EST, Times shown before 7am are considered night of previous day, so you can set your VCR before going to sleep. I appologize if there are any mistakes. I didn't want to be a barber I wanted to be a Lumberjack
This Week
Date/time Movie Title/Description Links Channel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over 40 are dead or wounded at Ford Hood, TX. If you would like to donate blood, please call the Red Cross. The Islamic shooter is dead and 2 other suspects are in custody
Note: Star Trek The Next Generation has moved from SYFY channel to WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST unless there's something more important, like baseball. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri
Zombieland full-length trailer #2
There are no zombies in Washington DC, they eat brains
This week in history:
President Kennedy informed 11/1/63 that President of Vietnam has been assassinated. First H-bomb test 11/1/52 leaves 175-foot deep crater on ocean floor a mile wide. Elvis gets 3 gold records 11/1/66 for “Elvis Presley” and “Elvis Golden Records #2 & 3.” Terrorists attempt to kill President Truman across the street from the White House 11/1/50. USSR invaded Hungary 11/1/56. President Carter orders Navy to allow women to serve on all ships and submarines, Uganda invades Tanzania 11/1/78. Crawford Long born 11/1/1815, first to use anesthetic during surgery. US First Class postage raised to 20 cents 11/1/81, competitor UPS announces rate decrease same day. 11/1/79 a DC-10 landed on wrong runway and crashed due to pilot fatigue. 11/2/17 US postage raised to 3 cents. The “Spruce Goose” world’s largest seaplane took off briefly 11/2/47, piloted by Howard Hughes to prove Congressmen had been lying about the government-sponsored project. US Embassy in Iran captured by a mob, 60 hostages taken 11/3/79. Iran government takes control of hostages next day. Mayor Koch reelected 11/3/81, first New York Mayor ever to run as both Republican and Democrat. Two British warships sink Chinese navy 11/3/1839, starting the “Opium Wars.” USSR launches dog into space 11/3/57 on Sputnik 2, stunned by negative world reaction to it not being planned as a round-trip, dog dies in space 2 days later. District Court Judge Walter Nixon impeached by Congress & removed from office 11/3/89. Entrance to King Tut’s tomb discovered 11/4/22. USSR launches Venus probe 11/4/81, US had already launched probes to Mars but apparently Russia had Venus envy. The Monkees have seven albums on the pop chart simultaneously 11/4/86. Venice, Italy, hit by 6-foot flood 11/4/66, yet environmentalists are still blocking construction of a sea wall to this day, most first-floor apartments have been abandoned. Paul Ruebens (Pee-wee Herman) pleads no-contest to obscenity charge in a porn theater, costing him $50 fine and his CBS Saturday-morning TV-series. The Monkees “Last Train To Clarksville” about a soldier being shipped off to Vietnam hit #1 on pop chart 11/5/66. Susan B. Anthony arrested for voting 11/5/1875, US Postal Service later mints unpopular $1 coin in her honor. German General von Choltitz died 11/5/66, had defied Hitler’s order to level Paris before retreating. British Embassy in Iran captured by mob 11/5/79, Iranian government makes them give it back. Columbus returned to Spain as a prisoner in chains, 11/5/1500. The Monkees movie “Head” premiered 11/6/68 written by a young actor named Jack Nicholson. Phil Donohue Show first broadcast 11/6/67, guest atheist is Madalyn Murray O’Hair. Meet The Press first boring broadcast 11/6/47. Eisenhower & Nixon reelected in landslide of 42 states 11/6/56. John Philip Sousa born 11/6/1856. Soviet Revolution starts 11/7/17. A locomotive engineer is killed 11/7/07 pushing burning dynamite cars out of town, annual observance on Nort Rwy de Mexico. Russia takes over Hungary 11/7/56, UN demands cease-fire between British, French, Israeli & Egyptian troops, Nobel Prize Committee announces will be no Peace Prize for 1956. The Rolling Stones “Get Off Of My Cloud” hit #1 in US 11/7/65 one week after hitting #1 in UK. The spectacular Tacoma Narrows Suspension Bridge collapse 11/7/40 is blamed on wind sheer. Lakers basketball star Magic Johnson tests HIV-positive 11/7/91. John Glenn returns to earth 11/7/98 as oldest astronaut, first space shuttle flight with left-turn blinker left on the entire mission. Hitler attempts to overthrow German government by force 11/8/23, is jailed. Ronald Reagan elected Governor of California 11/8/66. HBO began broadcasting as first national pay-TV network 11/8/71. Last spike driven in Canada’s transcontinental railway 11/8/1885. Cortez welcomed by Aztecs to the lake island of Mexico City. Edmund Halley born 11/8/1656, discoverer of Mark Twain’s favorite comet. Soviet nuclear-carrying frigate attempts to defect 11/8/75, inspiring Tom Clancy’s first novel “The Hunt For Red October.” Republicans become majority in House of Representatives 11/8/94 after disastrous Democratic attempt to take over health care.
East Germany declared open border 11/9/89 when Russia refused their request to use Red Army troops to keep people from crossing the Berlin Wall. First launch of massive Saturn V rocket 11/9/67 for Apollo program. NORAD reports multiple launches of missiles to US 11/9/79, scrambles jet fighters & bombers but turned out to be training tape that had accidentally been routed to Cheyanne Mountain command center, inspiring Monstervision movie WarGames.
Click here to please Zardoz.
Barack Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize, was nominated 1 month after innauguration. In a clear swipe at his predecessor, George W. Bush, the committee praised the “change in the international climate” that the President had brought, along with his cherished goal of ridding the world of nuclear weapons
In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis, then she sent her flying monkeys to find Dorothy in Oz.
Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Flims
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer, but possibly not star in it, sometime in 2011. Click here to please Zardoz.
30 Days of Night
(as reenacted by cartoon bunnies)
He's Always Russian Around
Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help
What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?
Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency
Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts
If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime? A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days
Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com
Scifans.com is back!
You should now be able
to send / receive email
at Scifans.com if you
signed up previously.
Not signed up? It's free,
and now comes with a Gig
of storage courtesy Google
Monstervision's 100% Weird
A full-color recreation of Joe Bob's Saturday Night homepage (1999/2000) is now viewable. The links all work.
BBC will stop playing April Fools Day pranks when penguins fly
Yes, that's Terry Jones of Monty Python as the host, 2008 How it was created
Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.
----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------
The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it the most expensive movie ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself) Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)
Would you like to have Joe Bob speak at your next meeting or corporate event? Fill out this form, so that he can get back
to you with all the exciting details!
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe theatrical trailers swiped from
www.Narnia.com have been moved to the new Chronicles of Narnia movie page Aslan is on the move. Sequel coming soon
Note: if you used a search engine to get to this page, the listings may be out of date. Click here to refresh page:
Webmasters, feel free to link to this entire page - http://www.Monstervision.org
There will never be popups or popunders here, though I do enjoy a good apple popover now and then if its cooked right
If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.
MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese
Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere) There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision
See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.
Important Note:
This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).
There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.
If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.
"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)
People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.
The drive-in will never die!!!
"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator, Joe Bob
"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton
The latest blond joke is in the Miss Teenage America contest from someplace on the maps known as Carolina (not near Asian countries or the Iraq) and all of you U.S. Americans can see it here
In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!
Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)
Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2½¢ worth
Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!
The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun Ralph Nader (1980) Sometimes it's hard to get a Taxi
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking
Fun with audio: If you say "Thank you Satan" into your computer and play it backwards, it sounds like "Yes We Can"
Past movies have included Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, all 3 Poltergeist movies (in a row, the same night), Back to the Future, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Stephen King's The Dead Zone and Christine, and even a couple of films they also made fun of on MST3K...
Classic SciFi, Fantasy, Horror, or just plain campy monster movies previously seen on Monstervision, now scheduled on other channels (click title for Monstervision review & host segments, if available). 
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency
Download & watch your favorite TV-shows online
from episodes of "24" to Star Trek, whether they're available on video/DVD or not!
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe theatrical trailers swiped from
Click here for Joe Bob's secret home phone number
Email: scifans@gmail
Terrorists are not cowards, they're the enemy...Annihilate them
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
