... I'm Neko, click me to follow your curser
Click me again to stop


www.Monstervision.org


Monstervision Movie Reviews and Host Segments, and 100% Wierd Listings for your viewing pleasure this month
Monstervision 1997 logo

Welcome to the Mostervision page.

FAQ (frequently asked question): What's the difference between Monstervision on TNT and Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the Sci-Fi channel?
Monster jokes "There are 3 types of people in the world - those who are good at math and those who aren't."

Past movies have included Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, all 3 Poltergeist movies (in a row, the same night), Back to the Future, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Stephen King's The Dead Zone and Christine, and even a couple of films they also made fun of on MST3K...
Following the Monster Vision movie or movies was a film that TNT considers "100% Wierd". Sometimes it has something to do with the evening's selection (2 Godzilla movies were followed by "All Monsters Attack") and sometimes not. Sometimes "100% Wierd" was just a short film, Bigfoot: Man or Beast ... which is about 50% wierd. Or the classic Japanese TV-series Ultra 7, or Gilligan's Island, which is just plain silly. Each summer, Professor Joe Bob Briggs would conduct his own Summer School

These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the SYFY Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...

Books by Joe Bob Briggs are available from his Amazon.com direct link

In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff.
John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing

MonsterVision movies transcripts list so far



Today's schedule sponsored by Motel Hell, when only the very worst will do

This month, 2015
5/1/12 Holocaust Remembrance Day
5/1/25 Astronaut Scott Carpenter born
5/1/39 Judy Collins born singer
5/1/44 Rita Coolidge born singer
5/1/67 Tim McGraw born, Country singer
5/1/41 Orson Welles' Citizen Kane premieres in New York
5/1/57 Larry King's 1st day on the radio, is the caller there?
5/1/65 Nine records were set by a YF12A interceptor that hit 2062 mph at 80,000 foot altitude
5/1/71 Amtrak begins operations
5/1/54 Alan Freed hosts his 1st rock concert inc. the Clovers and Muddy Waters, sells out at $2 per ticket
5/1/67 Elvis Presley marries Priscilla, daughter of an army colonel he met while serving in Germany. She had moved to Graceland at age 16, in a separate house
5/1/79 Elton John becomes the first pop music star to perform in Israel
5/2/36 Engelbert Humperdinck born singer
5/2/23 1st non-stop transcontinental flight NY to San Diego started
5/2/56 "Heartbreak Hotel" by Elvis Presley hits top 10 on R&B chart and #1 on both Pop and Country charts
5/2/80 Pink Floyd's song Another Brick In The Wall banned in South Africa after black children begin chanting it
5/2/2011 Navy SEALs assassinate Osama bin Laden at his secret compound in Pakistan
5/2/1519 Leonardo da Vinci died (67) in France
5/3/1919 Pete Seeger born, folk & pop singer
5/3/26 Ann B. Davis born, the maid in TV's The Brady Bunch
5/3/33 Alex Cord born, actor Air Wolf TV-series as the agency's boss
5/3/37 Frankie Valli born singer
5/3/50 Peter Gabriel born singer
5/3/52 World's 1st successful landing at the North Pole, by a USAF C-47
5/3/68 The Beach Boys play a concert then have Maharishi Yogi lecture the audience for the 2nd half,
       it is not received well and half their concert dates cancel
5/3/77 Eric Church born, country singer
5/4/15 Full Moon, lock Larry Talbot in his room
5/4/59 Dick Clark announces his 1st movie production, Harrison High, with himself playing a teacher
5/4/59 winners of the 1st annual Grammy Awards inc. Peter Gunn by Mancini, Tequila by the Champs, 
       Tom Dooley by the Kingston Trio, and 3 Grammys to David Seville for The Chipmunk Song
5/4/70 Nat. Guard troops fire on Vietnam War protesters at Kent State University, killing 4. Student 
       unrest closes down 400 colleges by May 7 and 2 more students are killed by police at Jackson State
       University (Mississippi) May 14
5/5/12 Cinco de Mayo in US, though not official holiday in Mexico
5/5/62 Cliff Richards gets a Gold Record for the title song for movie The Young Ones
5/6/1912 1st group cross-country flight, by 3 Army planes
5/6/32 President of France assassinated in Paris
5/6/37 German airship "Hindenburg" burst into flame and fell like a lead zeppelin (later used as one of
       Led Zeppelin's album covers)
5/6/41 Stalin became Premier of Soviet Russia
5/6/31 Willie Mays born, Baseball Hall of Famer
5/6/61 George Clooney born, actor "ER" sitcom, "ER" dramatic TV-series, several movies
5/7/1763 Chief Pontiac rallies Great Lakes tribes against colonial incursions, Pontiac is killed in 1769
5/7/15 German U-boat sank the British passenger liner Lusitania, dead include Americans
5/7/45 Germany signed unconditional surrender at Allied headquarters in France
5/7/63 US launched communications satellite Telstar 2
5/7/75 Pres. Ford announced end to Vietnam War as Viet Cong took over Siagon & renamed it Ho Chi Minh City
5/7/71 Eagle-Eye Cherry born singer
5/8/45 VE Day, Germany surrenders
5/8/40 Rick Nelson born singer "Garden Party"
5/8/43 Toni Tennille born singer
5/9/49 Billy Joel born singer
5/10/15 Mother's Day (2nd Sunday in May)
5/10/1869 Last spike of 1st US transcontinental railroad, Union Pacific & Central Pacific, in Utah
5/10/29 Fats Domino born singer
5/10/46 Donovan born, singer "Sunshine Superman" , "Mellow Yellow" and "Hurdy Gurdy Man"
5/11/61 Soviet bandleader Alexander Utyosov claims that Dixieland music was invented in his Socialist 
        Motherland. Variations of the claim later become a running joke by Chekhov in TV's Star Trek
5/12/49 Russia ends blockade of West Berlin
5/12/29 Burt Bacharach born singer
5/12/48 Steve Winwood born singer
5/12/62 Billboard Mag. reports the top 2 most played jukebox songs are Jimmy Dean's Big Bad John and Chubby Checker's The Twist
5/12/64 Dominique by the Singing Nun wins Grammy for Best Gospel Record, Allan Sherman for Best Comedy
        "Hello Muddah Hello Fadduh"
5/13/1911 1st 2 Army graduate pilots from Wright School
5/13/41 Ritchie Valens born (died 1959) singer
5/13/43 Mary Wells born, singer from age 17 "My Guy"
5/13/50 Little Stevie Wonder born, singer since age 12
5/13/77 Hustler publisher Larry Flint offers Linda Ronstadt $1 million to pose nude. She tells reporters
        she threw the offer "in the wastebasket"
5/14/1908 1st passenger flight in an airplane, at Kitty Hawk
5/14/36 Bobby Darin born, singer/actor (Died 1973) The Time Tunnel TV-series, hit 
        song Mack The Knife
5/14/52 David Byrne born, founding member of Talking Heads pop group, singer/composer
5/14/55 "Bo Diddley" sung by Bo Diddley released, will go on to be his biggest hit single
5/14/55 "Mambo King" Perez Prado's "Cherry Pink" sells a million records, one of the Cuban's 4 big hits in America
5/15/1918 US govt. establishes 1st permanent Air Mail route
5/15/69 Gov. Reagan orders end to riot in Berkeley, CA
5/15/71 Yoko Ono's The Fly is screened at Cannes Film Festival, reviewers include Joe Bob Briggs
5/16/80 Dr. Nick is indicted in Memphis for over-prescribing drugs to Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis
5/17/42 Taj Mahal born, singer
5/17/1958 Last run of a steam engine on Baltimore & Ohio, for a Cleveland railroad club
5/18/15 New Moon completely dark, werewolf threat low
5/18/13 Armed Forces Day
5/19/45 Pete Townshend born singer
5/19/52 Grace Jones born singer
5/19/98 Galaxy 4 communications satellite carrying wire news services, CBS & NPR networks, and 80% of beepers, suddenly failed. It was eventually permanently replaced by Galaxy VI
5/20/46 Cher born singer/actress "Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour" and drama movies
5/20/44 Joe Cocker born singer
5/20/60 Sue Cowsill born, youngest of the singing Cowsill Family
5/20/51 Capt. James Jabara became 1st USAF jet ace, over Korea
5/20/77 Blondie makes first U.K tour, with fellow New York rock group Television
5/21/41 Ronald Isley born, one of the singing Isley Brothers "Twist & Shout" (1962 hit, two years
        before The Beatles)
5/21/48 Leo Sayer born singer
5/21/56 1st H-bomb exploded, over Bikini Atoll
5/21/61 Every Beat Of My Heart enters the Top 100, one version by Gladys Knight and another by The Pips on a 
different record label, of which she is a member. Motown will later sign them as Gladys Knight & the Pips
5/21/69 Yoko & John Lennon begin a ten-day "Bed-in" in a Montreal hotel 2 week after his visa is revoked by
        the U.S. Embassy in London
5/21/79 Elton John becomes the first pop music star to tour Russia
5/22/58 Jerry Lee Lewis and his wife Myra arrive in London for a tour, reporters are shocked when he admits
        she is his 14 year old 3rd cousin
5/23/64 British hit My Boy Lollipop by Millie Small hits America's Top 100 and eventually #2
5/24/1918 US Army Air Service organized
5/24/55 Rosanne Cash born singer
5/24/41 Bob Dylan born singer
5/25/15 Memorial Day observed (last Monday in May)
5/25/26 Miles Davis born singer
5/25/42 Bill Young born, singer
5/26/34 First nonstop run of the Zephyr (CB&Q railroad) Denver to Chicago
5/26/33 Jimmie Rodgers died, "The Singing Brakeman."
5/26/48 Stevie Nicks born singer
5/26/49 Hank Williams Jr. born singer, Are You Ready For Some Baseball?
5/26/58 Jerry Lee Lewis 37-date tour is cancelled after just 3 concerts due to hostile crowds, the
        London Evening Star calls for his deportation
5/27/57 That'll Be The Day by Buddy Holly & the Crickets is released
5/28/44 Gladys Knight born singer
5/28/45 John Fogerty born singer
5/28/48 Ray Laidlaw born singer
5/28/58 Ronald P. Reagan born to Ronald & Nancy Reagan
5/28/55 Billboard Mag. reports "The Ballad of Davy Crockett" has sold 18 million records in 6 months, with 
        versions sung by Fess Parker, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Steve Allen, Burl Ives, Roy Rogers Sons Of The
        Pioneers, and others
5/30/58 A fatal 5-car accident at Indy changes rules: rollbar required on all cars and medical-certified helmets
5/31/38 Peter Yarrow born, of the singing trio Peter Paul & Mary
5/31/69 Rolling Stone mag. reports that Frank Zappa has become a paid lecturer on the college circuit inc.
        UCLA on the topic of "Pigs, Ponies and Rock & Roll"
5/31/76 Guinness Book of World Records says The Who is world's loudest rock band, with live performances
        at 120 decibels
6/1/59 Billboard mag. says some teens are using the latest technology to tape music off radio instead of buying it
6/1/67 First non-stop trans-Atlantic flight by a helicopter, by two HH3Es, New York-Paris
The Wizard Of Oz in 5 minutes

As reviewed by a guy stuck in space with two robots named Crow and Tom Servo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs started on The Movie Channel: TMC schedule
"While other people come upon roadkill and see a dead animal, I see a new hat" Beth Beverly, Taxidermist
Half of the DNA in humans and bananas is the same, does that mean we are all half bananas?

Ray Harryhausen's legendary stop-motion creatures defined blockbuster special effects for decades and inspired entire generations of filmmakers. He died May 7th, 2013 at the age of 92.
Other deaths in 2013 included Tom Laughlin, star of the Bill Jack movies, and Peter O'Toole, costar of Supergirl and "My Favorite Year."

Note: Joe Bob's video host segments for "Blood Feast" have been added to the Blood & Donuts page cause I can't remember where I put the transcript for Blood Feast
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff" Frank Zappa
Click here for the planet Alderran from the 1st Star Wars movie. The Shadow Knows
Peter Graves of Mission Impossible (TV-series) and the movie Airplane, has died. His son tried to help but to no avail. Walter Koenig's son Andrew, a childstar on "Growing Pains" as Boner, has been found dead of suicide. Members of the cast of Star Trek and Growing Pains have sent their sympathy to the family; he had been treated for depression and went off his meds. Walter Koenig asks that anyone wrestling with depression please get help or call someone

Josh Friedman (the Terminator TV series) is casting for a new Charlie's Angels TV-series on ABC and Moonlight's Alex O'Loughlin is close to an agreement to play the Jack Lord role in a new Hawaii 5-0. NBC has ordered several new pilots to fill the hole in primetime left by Jay Leno returning to the Tonight Show, including a new Rockford Files by the creator of TV's House, and a dramedy starring David Tennant (Who?) called "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" (I hope that's just a working title). American Movie Classics is adapting "The Walking Dead" zombie comic book for a new TV-series on the cable channel known for Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Starz is already running episodes of Sam Raimi's "Spartacus: Blood & Sand," with Lucy Lawless (Xena) as a Roman vamp. Remember Terry O'Quinn from the Monstervision feature Stepfather 2? He's no longer Mr. Nice Guy on the TV-series "Lost." He told TV Guide in January 2010 that in the 6th & final season, his character's "on a mission and he's a dark presence, almost like the devil. The more the others know about him, the more fear he inspires."
Hey, are you kids watching Play-Mate Of The Apes?
There are former MonsterVision movies on the following entire-month channel's pages. Whenever possible, I have made the movie titles on these pages MonsterVision review/host segments links:
American Movie Classics ... Turner Classic Movies ... A&E ... History Channel ... Independent Film Channel ... Encore ... Starz ... Starz in Black ... Starz Edge ... Starz Comedy ... Encore's Mystery ... Drama and Action Channels and Wam ... HBO & Cinemax ... Showtime ... Showtime's Flix Channel ... The Movie Channel ... Showtime's Family Zone and Sundance ... Showtime #2 (Showtime Too), Showtime Showcase, Showtime Extreme, Showtime Beyond, Showtime Women ... Showtime Next. Showtime HD appears to be the same as Showtime ... Starz Cinema ... Starz HDTV ... Encore Westerns ... MoviePlex ... RetroPlex ... Starz Kids & Family and Encore's Love Channel ... SciFi Channel movies & TV-marathons ... USA Network movies. Bravo!
Fox Movie Channel no longer has monthly listings, just a non-text daily list on their flash website
See Dinner & A Movie page for upcoming TBS Dinner & A Movie (Fridays), Movie & A Makeover (Saturdays), TBS Movie Extra (Thursdays & Sundays)

Note: Star Trek The Next Generation is on the SYFY channel as well as WGN weeknights @ 10pm/1am EST. A and E has The Sopranos @ 2pm Mon-Fri, and Family Channel has 2 eps of Sabrina The Teenage Witch @ 2pm Mon-Fri

Zombieland full-length trailer #2

There are no zombies in Washington DC because they eat brains

I don't care what you've heard, most of Air America Radio's programs are still on the air

In August 2009, Nancy Pelosi said that people opposed to the government health care plan are un-American Nazis, then she sent her flying monkeys to find Dorothy in Oz.

Watch Dracula and his Vampire Brides in its entirety courtesy of YouTube, starring Christopher Lee for Hammer Films
Note: The SciFi Channel is changing its name to SYFY, don't ask me why why. Maybe it goes better with professional wrestling
ABC has the TV rights to "The Witches Of Eastwick" and has turned it into a TV-series similar to Desperate Housewives titled simply "Eastwick." Tom Cruise has agreed to do Mission Impossible 4 as producer, but possibly not star in it in 2011. Click here to please Zardoz.

He's Always Russian Around


Alright, some of you turkeys still don't know what "Bimbo" means. Maybe this video will help

What's Russian for Zsa Zsa?

Have you ever been talking on the phone and forgot somebody's name? Perhaps it would help to have your brain indexed. Google announced a new service on April 1st called Brainsearch which will allow Google to search your brain for you anytime you want to remember something. It is available only for cell-phone users at this time because it uses Beta waves:


John Wayne's opinion of gun control
Website Sizzler, including free ebook: How To Generate Quick Cash In An Emergency

Four U.S. helicopters crossed into Syria on 10-27-08 to blast a terrorist camp there. The leading helicopter was flown by a shirtless guy named Rambo, wearing boxing shorts

If the number seven is lucky than I guess it must really be lucky when the stock market drops 777 points in one day...it dropped 18% in one week, a higher percentage than it did on Black Monday 10-28-29, brother can you spare a dime?
A penny a day for a month, doubled, would be 1 cent times 30 days times two, or 60 cents! Here's a 31-day list of how much you would make if it doubled every day for 31 days

Want Monstervision episodes on DVD? Here's a fansite that appears to trade DVDs amongst its member for just the cost of postage: Latenightwingman.com

Make your own banners completely free of charge at IntantBannerCreator.com

Previous MonsterVision listings here (in 2010)


Review Me


Monstervision's 100% Weird



A full-color recreation of Joe Bob's Saturday Night homepage (1999/2000) is now viewable. The links all work now, I think.
BBC will stop playing April Fools Day pranks when penguins fly

Yes, that's Terry Jones of Monty Python as the host, 2008
How it was created

Of course, April is also the month of the annual Spaghetti Harvest

Did you forget to send an important email? Google now has a Gmail feature that allows you to send email as far back in time as April 1, 2004. Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality. Click here for details. Posted by Google on April 1. The 1st day of April.

Check out the new ad for Indiana Jones 4 (2008)

MST3K is Back!   - RiffTrax

More weird videos posted at the Ripley's Believe It Or Not pages

1980s eps of Knight Rider have moved to MyRTN: Retro Television Network, available in 40 states so far

Click Here if you don't know what "Click Here" means
Click here if you think your job sucks. What's up, Tiger Lily?

MonsterVision Bios of Joe Bob and Honey the Mail Girl. And of course, Professor Joe Bob also has his own Q&A page

Joe Bob Briggs interview (January 2006) page 1, page 2...Interview with Mike Nelson of MST3000
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

----------------->>> The Mean Kitty Song <<<-------------------


The budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it one of the most expensive movies ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself)
Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill! (the lost scene)

Ed Wood (with Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi, as he was filming Plan 9 from Outer Space) is seen occasionally on AMC's sister station, Independent Film Channel

Joe Bob Briggs interview from November 2006 is now archived online

You've heard about it, check it out for yourself. The George Orwell spoof: Why 2008 won't be like 1984 put together by a fan of Obama

Clip posted at YouTube: Bob Denver intros Mysterious Island for TNT's MonsterVision

If this link doesn't work it's not my fault (no pathetic excuses)

Would you like to have Joe Bob speak at
your next meeting or corporate event?
Fill out this form, so that he can get back
to you with all the exciting details!

Aslan Take them The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe theatrical trailers swiped from
www.Narnia.com
have been moved to the new
Chronicles of Narnia movie page
Aslan is on the move. Sequels coming soon

Check out Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 & 3 or the Flying Dutchman may get you with its kracken

Golden Age of Radio online including The Shadow and Doc Savage


Happy Halloween from Dr. Loomis
Webmasters, feel free to link to this entire page - http://www.Monstervision.org
There will never be popups or popunders here, though I do enjoy a good apple popover now and then if its cooked right

Remember, it's just Five Million Years To Earth

If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates "A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" You can buy it at Joe Bob's new official site www.joebobbriggs.com and he'll even autograph it for you.

MonsterVision Rating System
G ..... General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG.... Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R ..... Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17... No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese

Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere)
There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision

Joe Bob's unlisted phone numberClick here for Joe Bob's secret home phone number

This vast website devoted to Monstervision built and maintained by half-vast fans

Best movies ever made by Japanese guys in monster suits...with links to Monstervision's host segments for "Godzilla" and "Godzilla vs Mothra" (Joe Bob just loved the tiny women who sing to Mothra)

A word from God

Big Trouble In Little China fans, for a free computer game based on your favorite movie, go to the Big Trouble In Little China computer game on the Wingkong.net fan website for free download. And don't worry if you don't get the rules right away, you weren't brought into this world to get it, Mr. Burton.
And here's Kurt Russell's opinion of Osama Bin Ladin.
Email: scifans@gmail

Click here to sign up for a weekly Email from Joe Bob, news you can't use, guaranteed. Want to drop Joe Bob a note? Send email to joebob@joebobbriggs.com

Longer version of that music the Phantom plays on a pipe organ

Click here for Christine (the movie review & host segments, not the demon-possessed car from Hell itself)

Or visit Boris Karloff, he's lonely

Kolchak, the Night Stalker page

Lock your doors, lock your windows, and click here for the "Halloween" movies

Halloween is 20 years old, happy birthday!

Animated graphics © 2003 by The Animation Factory.

Be vewy vewy qwiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Bad, bad talking-cat

® Monstervision is a registered trademark of nobody

This electric site
Help keep this on a popup-free website. Buy something from our sponsors!
Click here to hear your computer scream again

Or here for Return of the Living Dead

Please note: this website is for intelligent people, not this guy
Was that the boogie-man?

Guess who's coming to dinner

Welcome to the party, pal

Monstervision Error 404 Page (it's fun)

See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.

Episodes of Wierd Science can be seen on Starz channel "Wam" What do you little maniacs want to do first?

The Visitors are coming to the Sci-Fi Channel in a remake of "V" with Robert Englund of Nightmare On Elm Street as a "friendly" alien

Greetings from The Visitors

Hamster Dance!

Or visit the Neko homepage

Click here if you want to be a spammer

Note: if you want to printout this page, be sure your printer is set to black ink & no background. And that it has ink in it. And paper

Monstervision…

What was the question again?

42% of all statistics are fake

10 Reasons Not To Kill George Bush


Your uncle was a monkey, swinging through the trees
Or don't you believe in Human origins?

Willard! There are rats in the basement!

"The majority is always wrong" - Steve McQueen
Terrorists are not cowards, they're the enemy...Annihilate them
Joe Bob Briggs

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and ookie, they're altogether spooky, the Addams Family.

It's A Joke, Son (256k video mp4)

Important Note: This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).

There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.

If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.

"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932). By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)

People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world
Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the others enjoy them?

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.

The drive-in will never die!!!

"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator,
Joe Bob

"Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton

Many more blonde jokes

The latest blond joke is in the Miss Teenage America contest from someplace on the maps known as Carolina (not near Asian countries or the Iraq) and all of you U.S. Americans can see it here

What's the difference between Congress and a clown college? Some people still respect clowns

Heroes of 9/11 and 3000 Names

This page © the great and powerful Bill Laidlaw. Coca Cola has been 100% cocaine-free since 1929

In February 2008 two thieves with knives invaded the north Texas home of 80 year old James Pickett but he got so mad when one of them said something bad about John Wayne he put them both in the hospital with cracked heads. Them's fightin' words!

Legal crap for this world wide website

Happy New Year from my cat
Fun fact: As of 1995, Yahoo.com had a indexed over 15,000 websites!

Some graphics on this page are from the Angelfire Graphics Library...That's the fact, Jack

Need a program to process windows media audio? Freeware available at this fansite (WMA, WMV and ASF)

Remember, a bird in the bush is worth half a bird in your hand, a word is worth one-thousandth of a picture, and the early worm gets eaten by a bird. That's my 2˝˘ worth

Can't find any hosted bad movies to watch? How about hosted bad movie trailers...check out the website Trailersfromhell.com, they appear to have a different hosted bad movie trailer 3 days a week. After you hear the hosted version, click un-narrated version to hear the trailer's original audio, in all it's glory!

Playboy Magazine has a new edition for married people, the centerfold is the same every month
What has four legs and an arm? A pit bull.
What has four legs and an ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in." The Drive-In will never die!

The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun
Ralph Nader (1980)
Sometimes it's hard to get a Taxi


Save the Sea Kittens
Is government a necessary evil or just plain evil?
"The nincompoops in my audience greatly outnumber the compoops"
Brother Theodore Gottlieb (1996) David Letterman Show
The chief characteristic of institutions is that if they have a purpose when they are started, it is forgotten as they mature"
Robert M. Hutchins
If everyone is thinking alike, then nobody is thinking
Fun with audio:
If you say "Thank you Satan" into your computer and play it backwards, it sounds like "Yes We Can"
eXTReMe Tracker