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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Presents

#908: The Touch of Satan

Pause-ville, baby.
Other than that, this is the charming story of a perfectly normal non-film-star type of fellow named Jody who stumbles onto a walnut ranch that's actually a direct entryway into a world of witches and devil-worship. The "daughter," Melissa, who looks oh so fetching in her little skirts, is actually over 120 years old. Her wildly wrinkled and murderous "great grandmother" is actually her sister Lucinda; way back when, see, a crowd of lethargic locals wanted to burn Lucinda at the stake, believing, correctly, that she was a witch. So Samantha saved her by selling her soul to the devil.
A couple are apparently her parents(?) It's unclear who they are. It's never really explained. They may just be walnut farmers who happen to own a witch. Or witch parents who happen to own a walnut farm. Or an older couple who decided to let film students make a bad movie on their walnut farm.
So, Jody saves Melissa from the Devil by sleeping with her, in a scene particularly devoid of sensuality and chest hair; but since it turns out Melissa is then going to die, he then sells his and her soul back to the Devil. The paperwork must have been a nightmare.

Prologue: Crow and Servo go a-wassailing. Since Mike has no wassail, they get his debit card and PIN number.
Segment One: Mike finds some canned wassail. In the castle, Pearl is gone and has left Brain Guy and Bobo with a baby-sitter, Steffi. She treats Brain Guy like a little boy, and Bobo like a dog. "No! No Chew!"

Segment Two: Mike tries being a walnut farmer and is immediately unbelievably sweaty, like the guy in the movie. Servo's a pecan farmer, and is not sweaty at all.

Segment Three: Crow's convinced he's a witch, and has Mike bury him in rocks; by the end he's convinced he's a frog.

Segment Four: Servo's deadly grandma tries to kill Mike with a pitchfork.

Segment Five: Crow sells his soul, by mistake, to "Stan," an accountant, who resells it to Citicorp. In the castle, Steffi reads to Brain Guy and disciplines Bobo. "No! No bark!!"

Stinger by Melissa: "This is where the fish lives."

Much to the delight of a handful of people around the globe, this movie treated us to a repeat appearance by one Robert Easton. Yes, Robert Easton, who played the creepy farmer in Giant Spider Invasion. You'll no doubt recall him by repeating to yourself, "You been the hittin' the booze again, Ev?"
In this movie, he's the ringleader of the witch-burning crowd.

Interesting fellow, this Robert Easton. He's been a Hollywood dialect coach for years, and in fact was a guest several times on The Tonight Show, during the Johnny Carson years, showing off his skill at dialects. He's been in some real movies, too, like Working Girl and Primary Colors, in which he played John Travolta's doctor.
I like this Robert Easton. I thought he was really good in Giant Spider Invasion. Even when the spider was stuffing him up it's butt, he played the role convincingly.
- Paul Chaplin

Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie/episodes availability on video and on DVD and even books

The best book for looking up movie titles and descriptions is the Movie / Video Guide by Leonard Maltin, though it may not have a listing for a movie as bad as The Touch of Satan...
The Touch of Satan was released on videotape, but is probably now out of stock due to all the walnut-eating witch-lovers there must be in the world buying up copies.

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