Wednesday, August 20, 2003
The question for this lesson is, “Who am I?”
This simple question should be easy to answer, but it really isn’t.
I am a lot of things, so I guess I’ll start from the beginning.
I am the first-born daughter, and the first-born granddaughter.
I was the favorite in the family because of that status.
I had a great childhood for the most part.
My daddy worked the nightshift, but he always found time to play with my
sister and me. I have so many happy
memories of summer time backyard baseball and walks to 7-11 so my dad could buy
his beverages. My mommy was my
kindergarten Campfire leader, and used to let my Sparks group have sleepovers at
my house, where we’d get to stay up late watching movies and eating Popsicles
in the middle of winter.
I am a writer, and wrote my first story in the 3rd
grade, and my second one in 5th grade. I still am a writer, and write stories all the time… (One
of these days I’ll finish my “Sapphire Lake” series…) I’ve written several satirical short stories, the most
popular of which was “The Bermuda Triangle Incident”.
I am a poet, and titled my first book of poetry “Shattered Images”
because it did just that – shattered every image that people had of me.
I am a musician. I
sing and play the violin. My mom
tells me that I was singing before I could even talk – it seems true, because
I sing all the time. I’ve played
the violin since I was 10, and I was in orchestra until I was 17.
Though I don’t play as often as I used to, I still pull out my beloved
“Pebbles” (my violin’s name) and play on occasion.
I am a packrat. I
keep everything and have trouble throwing out the littlest things – which
believe me, can get rather messy after years of toting around garbage.
I am also the mother of a beautiful little boy.
I love him dearly, and it is because of him that I am bettering my life
today. I would gladly lay down my
life for him, and everything I do, is for him.
And even as I write this, he desires my attention.
I am a student. I went back to
school in September 2002, and attend Computer Science classes.
I hope to attain my degree when I graduate in August of 2004.
I am a TV fiend. I love to watch
Japanese anime cartoons, and have the entire 18-volume collection of SailorMoon
graphic novels. I love to watch
“Angel”, “Stargate-SG1” and “Buffy” reruns.
I am a video game fanatic, and been known to spend every waking moment playing
“Final Fantasy” on the Playstation. I
have all the Final Fantasy game titles from 4-10.
I also loved the game “Kingdom Hearts” which featured characters from
Disney as well as Final Fantasy characters.
I am a “squishy” – too soft to be a softie.
I cry at the end of movies all the time.
“Titanic” nearly did me in, my friend and I cried so hard. I
openly sobbed during the “ER” episode that Dr. Green died from brain cancer
– and to this day whenever I hear the Hawaiian version of “Somewhere Over
the Rainbow” I get sentimental. (The song was featured in his last episode) I
sobbed like a child during the series finale of “Dawson’s Creek”.
I am a griever. I grieve for the
loss of my best friend who died 2 ½ years ago.
I was pregnant when he died and nearly went in to premature labor with my
child I was so grief stricken. I
remember clearly the day I found out he died.
February 16 – it snowed that day.
I had called a friend’s house looking for my boyfriend and I could hear
people screaming in the background. Sara
– my friend – sounded terrible. The
only thing she could say was “Steph – he’s dead!
Jimi’s dead.” I remember
the sinking feeling I had in my body. Like
a huge weight had descended on me. I
remember how I screamed, how I cried, and how desolate I felt. Though the pain
is less now – I still feel his presence now and then.
He was my dearest friend, and sometimes I wish things had been different.
I am silly and I am serious. I am a dreamer and yet I am a cynic.
I am a hopeless romantic and blame Disney for my relationship problems.
I’m still waiting for Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet and carry
me away to live happily ever after. (Lol!) I love Love.
I love being in love, and I love the feeling I have when I am with my
son’s father – problems and all, I adore him.
I am an emotional basket case. I cry all the time and sometimes have bouts with depression.
I am a survivor. I survived things that no man, woman or child should ever
have to experience.
I have an eating disorder. I
battled with anorexia since I was 16, and even though today, I still have
problems with food – I feel that I have beaten the beast.
I love to eat. I love to cook.
I am Irish, Finnish, Swedish and German and I have pride in my ethnicity.
I am Wiccan and find joy in honoring the Lord and Lady.
I enjoy meeting other people, but do not base my sole religious worth on
the collection of titles and degrees. I
prefer to work alone as a solitary most of the time, mostly because it gives me
more control on the way I worship.
I am me.
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