So, go out and experience life. that way you might learn to love your fellow man/woman and not become a bunch of sad, lonely men getting their sexual kicks from 'sussing up' people on the internet. i actually feel a bit sorry for you, because the rejection you must've felt when you were told initially 'your comedy is shit' must've been so bad that you decided to slag off everyone elses.
may god have mercy on your souls.
anyway, on a lighter note, well done on the comedy listing i found it REALLY FUNNY and though it was VERY WORTHWHILE. please keep up the GOOD WORK, and keep on MAKING ME SMILE.... sorry, there is a limit to sarcasm where it just becomes sick...
oh, one other thing... public opinion? or just corpses and their techie mate's opinion?
i like the idea of being a thorn in your side, especially with regard to the fact i have to put in very little effort as you set yourself up so very nicely for a tumble...
keep THAT up, and we'll all be happy...
see you on the other side Necrophiles.
ALL LOVE
D Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan "shit" Long on Thu Jun 15 08:58:11 BST 2000:

SOME OF THE CORPSES ARE AMUSING
Elsewhere - London Tickets 556 3429

The hit website takes to the stage to cast a wry eye over the world of comedy. It starts well, making some good observations about producer-politics and agencies who attempt to hijack comedy events, but then spoils it all by just calling everybody a cunt and sulking because somebody wiped the rehearsal tapes.
Aug 7-10, 12, 13, 14, 15-27 22.15 (23.15) £7.50

God, i am sorry, I found a serious piece in it too.. i would like some tickets... oh, that is if it isn't 'self deprication' .. hmm, i hope not because that'd be pretty unoriginal from you guys...

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Sarcastic Shit Dan L In A Field, Probably on Thu Jun 15 09:05:48 BST 2000:

SOME OF THE CRITICS ARE UNBIASED
NOT HERE - Tickets 556 3429

The small group of failed comics and script writers take to the west end as they sit in a mock up of their small communal bedsit, drinking big soup from the tin and lamenting the fact that British comedy has been in terminal decline ever since Arthur Askey first took the stage. In the second act, they alienate every single person in the audience with a subtle blend of insult, deprication, snidey comment and innuendo. After this has been achieved they call everyone a cunt for not listening to their educated opinion and flounce off stage leaving a techie to clean up their mess until they can formulate a semi decent response off stage, probably by flicking through their 'big book of put downs'.
Dates: Not likely, they don't leave the house
Reviews: "Like Garry Bushell - END" G. Bushell

MMM... sounds good. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Anonymous on Thu Jun 15 09:26:13 BST 2000:

awww, who can't take a joke then? Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Ohh look i'm subversive... DL on Thu Jun 15 09:57:26 BST 2000:

Well, obviously the corpses.
And anonymous twats.

I mean, come on people, if you can't leave your name or you hide behind some 'funny' moniker, really you shouldn't be left near anything that is connected to the mains.

Anyway, i don't see it as not taking a joke as jokes are often funny. also, i thought that the corpses didn't want to 'be comedians' and were only being objective critics?
maybe i got the wrong end of the stick with NOT COMEDIAN and OBJECTIVE...

maybe... Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Miffy on Thu Jun 15 11:42:45 BST 2000:

>'funny' moniker

like the woman in Friends?
or not.
Anyway, I don't understand why you're so pissed off or why you can't just chuckle/grimace/cry about it and move on with your life...it's not like the whole world reads this website is it? Besides some bigger ego's than your own have been criticised in the past and have been able to handle it without making themselves look more foolish. N.B not suggesting that a) you have a big ego or b) you are a fool. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Gee on Thu Jun 15 11:53:09 BST 2000:

You appear to be right pissed off Dan. But I can't understand why? I don't even understand who you're angry with. Could you please give a few more details. It all sounds very interesting but I haven't a clue what you're talking about. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Anonymous on Thu Jun 15 14:12:40 BST 2000:

There was a small comment about Dan in the Edinburgh fringe guide, and he spat the dummy.

And anyway Dan, even if we did leave our names, YOU DON'T KNOW WHO WE ARE. Having a name won't help you. Unless it's someone famous like Mr Herring.

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By D 'moniker' L on Thu Jun 15 14:13:39 BST 2000:

actually found those last two postings very good... no, seriously...
the main 'issue' at stake here is that the corpses couldn't answer my criticism of them and had to descend into personal insults... i just thouught i would give them a selection of their own pharmacy... what i'm trying to say is, they should eat their own medicine...
*smiles* i am not actually that pissed off at all, i find it all quite funny... in terms of the fact that you have a collection of people who are so painfully obviously wanting to be comics but have, for some reason stopped themselves and deny any 'comedic intentions' and then go about trying to 'be funny'... it just seems a bit hypocritical.
If the intelligence and almost superhuman presentation and information here was more positive GENERALLY i would have no qualms at all with the corpses. i just find it a little depressing that once again british society is a dampener on everything, with a 'prove it to us' sort of attitude...
that is why i just think it is a waste of talent...
on a 'final niggle' note, i just thought the bit about me personally was... a little contrived. sorry. i mean, there is so much ammunition that you could've used on me (some of it real, a nation cheers) that i was a little down heartened by the fact i was just called an annoying shit... for people who know about comedy, it was strangely bereft of any.
sometihng else that was strange... the fact that rob had previously said that all my arguments were faulted etc etc etc but the corpses found it necessary to 'reply' to me... odd that.
anyhoo, i leave you with incisive comedy. go to gusset. yes that is a plug. no it isn't subjective. but yes it is the best yet. so there.
Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan L on Thu Jun 15 14:15:55 BST 2000:

i didn't mean the last entry, that one slipped in while i was typing...

spat the dummy? not really... just replying.

if i were you though, i'd stay anonymous, seeing as that is all you will ever amount to.

harsh, but i think even you, anony-mouse, will agree with that description... Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Thu Jun 15 14:18:25 BST 2000:

Actually... that anonymous one... i was just thinking about that...
were the comments directed at you? um... no.
So why on earth are you replying?
are the corpses your heroes?
do you have pictures of them on your wall?
if i were the corpses i'd be quite scared with you as a fan as you're clearly deranged... Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By TP on Thu Jun 15 15:45:37 BST 2000:

>actually found those last two postings very good... no, seriously...
>the main 'issue' at stake here is that the corpses couldn't answer my criticism of them and had to descend into personal insults... i just thouught i would give them a selection of their own pharmacy... what i'm trying to say is, they should eat their own medicine...
>*smiles* i am not actually that pissed off at all, i find it all quite funny... in terms of the fact that you have a collection of people who are so painfully obviously wanting to be comics but have, for some reason stopped themselves and deny any 'comedic intentions' and then go about trying to 'be funny'... it just seems a bit hypocritical.

I've never seen the corpses say they didn't want to be comedians or comedy writers. I've seen <other poeple> say that they've never attempted to write comedy shows <before>, but never the corpses themselves. Even so, this is quite different, so wheres the hypocrisy?

>If the intelligence and almost superhuman presentation and information here was more positive GENERALLY i would have no qualms at all with the corpses. i just find it a little depressing that once again british society is a dampener on everything, with a 'prove it to us' sort of attitude...
>that is why i just think it is a waste of talent...
>on a 'final niggle' note, i just thought the bit about me personally was... a little contrived. sorry. i mean, there is so much ammunition that you could've used on me (some of it real, a nation cheers) that i was a little down heartened by the fact i was just called an annoying shit... for people who know about comedy, it was strangely bereft of any.

It was clearly a flippant remark and as such I found it very amusing...

>sometihng else that was strange... the fact that rob had previously said that all my arguments were faulted etc etc etc but the corpses found it necessary to 'reply' to me... odd that.

it didn't look like a reply to me...

>anyhoo, i leave you with incisive comedy. go to gusset. yes that is a plug. no it isn't subjective. but yes it is the best yet. so there.

wtf? Subject: Re: Wasted Webspace: A Testament
Posted By Mogwai on Thu Jun 15 16:02:48 BST 2000:

> i leave you with incisive comedy. go to gusset. yes that is a plug. no it isn't subjective. but yes it is the best yet. so there.


Just went to gusset. It's limp and insipid - even in the privacy of your own room you can imagine a studio audience coughing and fidgeting in uncomfortable silence. Like reading a script eagerly submitted to On the Hour by a smitten 16-year-old who'd heard the show and thought "I can do that!", only to have it returned with a brusque rejection note two years later. In short, a barrel of old pigs' tits.

Cheers for wasting my time, Dan.


Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Thu Jun 15 16:07:04 BST 2000:

"I've never seen the corpses say they didn't want to be comedians or comedy writers. I've seen <other poeple> say that they've never attempted to write comedy shows <before>, but never the corpses themselves. Even so, this is quite different, so wheres the hypocrisy?"

you haven't? well, i'd go to some of the older strands when it has been suggested by either them or their friends.

"It was clearly a flippant remark and as such I found it very amusing..."

You find flippancy 'highly amusing'? ok...
The idea was funny, but tried and tested... i would've just thought, if you're going to the effort of slagging someone off as humour, or otherwise, you might as well make a good job of it...


"it didn't look like a reply to me..."

well, maybe not... but then, if you didn't get the previous stuff, maybe you didn't see the previous threads with the 'oh, they.. umm... they can't answer right now ((quick quick think up a put down))' sort of responses earlier....
in point of fact, it was a sarcastic comment, hence the ''s around it...

"wtf?"

the comedy i am associated with - i deliberately didn't include the address for fear of pluggin too far.

hope that clears up your comments...


Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Thu Jun 15 16:10:23 BST 2000:

NICE!
Coming from someone who hides behind the name of either a small furry twat like creature from a 80s film or a shit band, that must be compliment surely...

Yep, it's limp and insipid. Poor and cack. grossly self indulgent whilst remaining unerrinly shite. But i like it.

I didn't waste your time, btw, you did. Actually, on that note, can you actually 'waste time'? surely that is an impossible concept as time is not a commodity that you can really waste....

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Thu Jun 15 16:15:13 BST 2000:

On a more harsh note...

"Just went to gusset. It's limp and insipid - even in the privacy of your own room you can imagine a studio audience coughing and fidgeting in uncomfortable silence."

can you? well, it'd be mighty hard to realy as it is in written form, not intended to be read aloud... even by your warm brown voice....

"Like reading a script eagerly submitted to On the Hour by a smitten 16-year-old who'd heard the show and thought "I can do that!", only to have it returned with a brusque rejection note two years later."

really? well, may interest you to know... well, no i'll save that one as a surprise...
16? *L* no no no...
actually, on a popularity tip... the interst in the site has really picked up of late, via word of mouth it would appear, with several issues of the newsletter being compiled....

In short, a barrel of old pigs' tits.

thanks. i am sure you will get your job at the mirror

Cheers for wasting my time, Dan.

see previous message, Mogwai. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By TP on Thu Jun 15 16:46:51 BST 2000:

>"I've never seen the corpses say they didn't want to be comedians or comedy writers. I've seen <other poeple> say that they've never attempted to write comedy shows <before>, but never the corpses themselves. Even so, this is quite different, so wheres the hypocrisy?"
>
>you haven't? well, i'd go to some of the older strands when it has been suggested by either them or their friends.

I've been in this forum a while and I don't know of any examples of them saying they don't want to be comedy writers, give us some examples...

>"It was clearly a flippant remark and as such I found it very amusing..."
>
>You find flippancy 'highly amusing'? ok...
>The idea was funny, but tried and tested... i would've just thought, if you're going to the effort of slagging someone off as humour, or otherwise, you might as well make a good job of it...
>
>
>"it didn't look like a reply to me..."
>
>well, maybe not... but then, if you didn't get the previous stuff, maybe you didn't see the previous threads with the 'oh, they.. umm... they can't answer right now ((quick quick think up a put down))' sort of responses earlier....

I did see the previous thread, I don't recognise it from your description though

>in point of fact, it was a sarcastic comment, hence the ''s around it...
>
>"wtf?"
>
>the comedy i am associated with - i deliberately didn't include the address for fear of pluggin too far.
>
>hope that clears up your comments...
>
>
>

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Jon on Thu Jun 15 16:49:43 BST 2000:

I know nothing of Dan Long, do not know what the Corpses said about him, and so have no opinion either way on their dispute. But... isn't this just the most miserable, depressing and tedious strand we've ever had in the forum?

I will of course come back, to see if you've all died of self-loathing... Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan L on Thu Jun 15 17:13:54 BST 2000:

"I've been in this forum a while and I don't know of any examples of them saying they don't want to be comedy writers, give us some examples..."

well, go to the simon pegg ones etc, and their are some definite quotes saying, if i remember rightly from Rob Sedgbeer, 'i know that the corpses have never had any intention of going into comedy'....


"I did see the previous thread, I don't recognise it from your description though"

Well, it is in a similar place... i don't know exactly where.... it'd be around the big pegg thing....

Now, the other comment...

"I know nothing of Dan Long, do not know what the Corpses said about him, and so have no opinion either way on their dispute. But... isn't this just the most miserable, depressing and tedious strand we've ever had in the forum?
I will of course come back, to see if you've all died of self-loathing..."

OK, point taken, but, i thought the idea of a forum was to discuss things, i am merely putting my response to what the corpses said about me...
also, the most depressing thread? christ, have you looked at some of the others on here?!?!
finally... self loathing.. not me :o)

i just don't get people on this site, they either try to force their views down your throat or don't want you to have any of your own!! there is no middle ground!!

anyway... Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By PJ on Thu Jun 15 17:14:36 BST 2000:

I like the fact that Dan moaned about the corpses moaning all the time. How thoroughly English of him Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dddddd Llll on Thu Jun 15 17:26:03 BST 2000:

*smiles* oh well, i've failed... i didn't really think i was moaning... i was only after an answer from them in the first place, but they didn't / couldn't answer it...
i know they have limited web access, but i would've thought that if they were taking the time as critics to 'do comedy' that they could've spared five to just answer the question... oh well.

BTW thanks people who mailed me... ta! Duly appreciated. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Anonymous on Thu Jun 15 18:30:35 BST 2000:

Is this really DanL?

I seem to remember some quite convincing, coherent arguments in the Simon Pegg thread earlier, especially criticisms of personal abuse. The comments in this thread don't seem to be in the same style.

Prove yourself.




















Or don't. I couldn't give toss anyway, just mentioning the apparently changed style. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Justin on Thu Jun 15 20:02:20 BST 2000:

SHUT UP FOR CHRIST'S SAKE - ALL OF YOU! THIS IS SO BORING! Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Justin on Thu Jun 15 20:14:16 BST 2000:

Well, no, alright - just one of you shut it! You know who you are (and I'm not going to name you because you're only an attention seeker, ok?)

The rest of you are forgiven. Am I? Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Thu Jun 15 20:52:31 BST 2000:

Erm... right...

OK, some kinda odd people about.

The change from coherent argument etc was basically my less than subtle attempt to try and get some kinda response from the corpses...

Obviously it got some responses but... *cough* anyway...
laters / gators Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By James on Thu Jun 15 21:17:26 BST 2000:

Dan

It is quite obvious that you are extremely upset, or at least bothered, by this reference. Hence the descent into this whole petty thread.

Heres an idea: grow up.

Or, to put it in a L&H way: Why not try being able to laugh at yourself, rather than pretending to take flippant criticism on the chin whilst secretly crying behind your keyboard?

(btw, gusset weekly is the most appalling website i have ever had the misfortune to cache) Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Rob S on Thu Jun 15 21:52:42 BST 2000:

Much as I am loathed to get involved here...

>"I've been in this forum a while and I don't know of any examples of them saying they don't want to be comedy writers, give us some examples..."
>well, go to the simon pegg ones etc, and their are some definite quotes saying, if i remember rightly from Rob Sedgbeer, 'i know that the corpses have never had any intention of going into comedy'....

What I actually said was

"I can tell you that neither of the corpses writers have ever attempted to write standup/sitcom etc."

which is considerably different from the quote you attributed to me. If wish to check this out you can at

http://mudhole.spodnet.uk.com/~frogger/newtv/pegg.html

Message 109. But don't worry Dan, I accept your apology.

Now please try to understand that the corpses have very limited net access. They don't have time to come to this forum everyday. Most of their net access is taken up answering their emails - there is no spare five minutes. If you want them to answer a question then I suggest you email them.

Now stop living up to your Edinburgh Fringe Capsule. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Fri Jun 16 07:59:02 BST 2000:

It is quite obvious that you are extremely upset, or at least bothered, by this reference. Hence the descent into this whole petty thread.

But that's the point, i'm not. what bothers me is the way the corpses can't answer simple questions and have to themselves descend to 'pettiness'

Heres an idea: grow up.

Fair comment.

Or, to put it in a L&H way: Why not try being able to laugh at yourself, rather than pretending to take flippant criticism on the chin whilst secretly crying behind your keyboard?

Um, yeah, i'm being told to grow up by someone who quotes L&H... oh dear....
anyway, that's a pretty shit quote... what would the difference be...? if someone *was* upset by what someone had said to them, if they laughed it off, surely that is just accepting something they don't agree with... a pretty weakminded approach...

(btw, gusset weekly is the most appalling website i have ever had the misfortune to cache)

it is? good...


and now the other message...

Much as I am loathed to get involved here...

*L* somehow i doubt it...

What I actually said was
"I can tell you that neither of the corpses writers have ever attempted to write standup/sitcom etc."
which is considerably different from the quote you attributed to me.

Um, yah, very different from me saying that you'd said 'they had no aspirations in comedy' um... no.. y'see different words do sometimes have the same meaning.

But don't worry Dan, I accept your apology.

You do? oh, that's good i can sleep easily in my bed now. OR perhaps... not.

Now please try to understand that the corpses have very limited net access. They don't have time to come to this forum everyday. Most of their net access is taken up answering their emails - there is no spare five minutes. If you want them to answer a question then I suggest you email them.

No, this is sooooo shit. this is the corpses forum. if you go to the trouble of setting one up proclaiming to be messiahs of comedy (now, don't get saying *stupid voice* "they haven't ever done that", it is an implied concept throughout the site) you should at least A. have web access so you can keep up to date with it. if i were you Rob, i'd pretty pissed if they just left me to take the flak all the time.
and B. they should answer every uestion directly put to them and not waste time 'trying to be funny'

that was my point, like it, lump it or read another thread....

Now stop living up to your Edinburgh Fringe Capsule.

OOh, everyone's trying to get onto the comedy ;o)
unfortunately, everyone is getting onto contrived comedy which is what i thought this site was against.. oh well, you lives and learns...

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Jon on Fri Jun 16 08:23:16 BST 2000:

Note for anyone who leaves mesages quoting previous messages:

Could you get the quote/new stuff clearly distinguished? I can't follow the last few messages. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Fri Jun 16 13:49:37 BST 2000:

Sorry about that... i realised after i had posted it that it was a bit hard to read...

soz
Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Iain Lee on Fri Jun 16 15:11:45 BST 2000:

Dan, my heart fucking bleeds for you. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Fri Jun 16 16:03:01 BST 2000:

If only it were true Iain, you could die knowing i was a happy man ;o)
Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By The Other Corpses Editor on Sat Jun 17 20:31:43 BST 2000:

Re: the 'comedy bits' on Sotcaa... Far from being a sly or insidious means to break into the comedy scene (or a revenge-tactic) , it's simply private humour made public. The book/video parodies started off as little scribbled doodles on the backs of envelopes the site-authors used to send each other. We make no claims for the stuff except to say here it is, enjoy it if you wish. We're not bothered either way. Most of it's hidden away in little links at the end of articles anyway. As for the Fringe parody - it's placed more prominently to tie in with the real thing, but the same rules apply - it's to make *us* giggle rather than any projected audience. Many people find it funny (and a few comedians have mailed us, moaning that they weren't immortalised); others - well, Daniel Long - were less keen.

Incidentally, the 'Yes Sir, I'm An Annoying Little Shit' capsule wasn't intended as an 'answer' to you, Daniel, just as a satire on the aftermath of the Pegg forum ridiculousness. As Rob has mentioned we have limited net access. This situation is being looked into. Rest assured that, once sorted, we'll be able to address *all* of your personal problems, one by one.

Rob, how do you turn this thing off?

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan "only parents and 1 ex call me Daniel" L on Sat Jun 17 21:10:34 BST 2000:

Cool.
Maybe with more time online you can make this site fulfil the potential it obviousy has.

I like the personal problems comment... good.
very *witty*... i also like the term 'satire' being used... umm... ok...

Umm... the Fringe thing was a good idea, but an idea stretched way too far, and, in my OHO, not to the level of humour that you parade as being, and in most cases rightly (though you're still WAY too overcritical), as what is the way forward for the form...

It's a minor issue though really, i just enjoyed seeing people leaping in when it wasn't a vendetta or not taking a joke, just my reply to your own. That is one thing that i tihnk you must admit... the 'comedy' you've used here is designed as defensive/offensive measure... it's a natural thing and it's what comedy is intended to do in the 'common place' anyway, to deflect attention... I do it, you do, everyone does it, you smile yourself out of problems, it's a natural reaction... it's why, from the study of chimps they found that fear is interlinked into smiling and comedy...

Anyway, let's brush Desmond Morris under the carpet for a bit...

So, if you don't give up your day job, and nor me mine, we should be fine... at least you can have a justified personal vendetta against my work ;o)

See you on the other side... not ITV though.. this *is* a comedy based site, right...?
Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By fizz on Mon Jun 19 17:46:28 BST 2000:

>this *is* a comedy based site, right...?

Unlike that "gusset" shite you're trying to palm off on us. Anyone else get their fingers burnt by the execrable Gusset Weekly?

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Justin on Mon Jun 19 21:47:13 BST 2000:

>>this *is* a comedy based site, right...?
>
>Unlike that "gusset" shite you're trying to palm off on us. Anyone else get their fingers burnt by the execrable Gusset Weekly?
>
>
It's refreshingly rare to find a situation about a website where no-one's asking for its address....

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Tue Jun 20 14:18:46 BST 2000:

when you do something better, tell me... unfortunately, i do not see anyone who uses this site living that long...

i don't write for anyone else's pleasure but my own, but, with the cool feedback we've had, as well as the bad, it has developed more, but still, i only do write for myself and the guys who run the 'shite'
i must remember that with humourous abilities like that i am obviously amongst collosos's of comedy...
i bow to your power.

thanks

as to the address... if you don't like it, don't go to it... i don't say the address, you don't have to look for it...! Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Justin on Tue Jun 20 16:22:51 BST 2000:

>when you do something better, tell me... unfortunately, i do not see anyone who uses this site living that long...
>
Do you mean we're all mayflys or something?
Or are you planning a Dave Koresh-style culling of SOTCAA contributors?

>as to the address... if you don't like it, don't go to it... i don't say the address, you don't have to look for it...!

Don't know the address - sometimes ignorance is bliss. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By PJ is not my full name on Tue Jun 20 17:16:49 BST 2000:

>>when you do something better, tell me... unfortunately, i do not see anyone who uses this site living that long...
>>
>Do you mean we're all mayflys or something?
>Or are you planning a Dave Koresh-style culling of SOTCAA contributors?
>
So THAT'S why he wanted everyone to use thier real names - next he'll be saying "type in your address, or else you are a twat, and i won't listen to you". Don't fall for this evil trick Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Tue Jun 20 17:46:55 BST 2000:

SCHOOMM
yes, yet another comment goes whizzing mercilessly higher than the readers scalps... you'd better watch out, one day one'll hit...
anyway, didn't david koresh claim to be god? i don't remember making any such boast, nor do i remember pissing off the ATF by making automatic weapons...

if i did, i must've been *so* drunk

finally, ignorance is indeed bliss, but so is a syndication...

laterama llama Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Alex on Tue Jun 20 19:51:36 BST 2000:

>i don't write for anyone else's pleasure but my own, but, with the cool feedback we've had, as well as the bad, it has developed more, but still, i only do write for myself and the guys who run the 'shite'

i seem to remember you claiming in a previous thread where gusset wass lambasted that it was nothing to do with you at all, and the plugs that you were giving the site were 'doing a mate a favour'.

were you lying then or now? Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan L on Tue Jun 20 20:47:47 BST 2000:

indeed... i am doing a mate a favour... it is his site, i write some stuff for it, but i don't purport that it is my 'baby'.
in answer to your question, i wasn't lying on either occassion, i don't see myself as anything other than an aide to a friend. i write some stuff in the vein of the comedy he is forwarding, i enjoy writing it anyway and it gives me help in urging onward my own efforts. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By a friend on Tue Jun 20 21:10:31 BST 2000:

oh dan, let it GO... Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan on Tue Jun 20 21:19:00 BST 2000:

let what go? i don't see the point of stuff like that... someone made a point, do you want people to just roll over and die, or answer things put to them?
i just don't get people who can be arsed to sign stuff like this, but then sign it saying twatty things....
Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Justin on Wed Jun 21 16:59:23 BST 2000:

>let what go? i don't see the point of stuff like that... someone made a point, do you want people to just roll over and die, or answer things put to them?
>i just don't get people who can be arsed to sign stuff like this, but then sign it saying twatty things....

I think what you've done there is confused this website with your own personal relationships in the outside world. (Stewart Lee idiom)
>

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Justin on Wed Jun 21 17:08:38 BST 2000:

>
>I think what you've done there is confused this website with your own personal relationships in the outside world. (Stewart Lee idiom)
>>
It shouldn't need pointing out, but....it was a joke, ok? Not a great one, in fact it was more a mediocre quip of utter weariness, but whatever...not to be taken seriously. I say that because the idea of the above inspiring a similar bout of over-defensiveness worries me, quite frankly.

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan L on Wed Jun 21 17:21:30 BST 2000:

over defensiveness?
i really don't get some peoples mentality... if you say sometihng at someone, are you not expecting a comeback? or do you live in some sort of world where someone says something and you respond with 'well done'?
it doesn't work like that, you have to stick up for what you want to do or say, if you are later proved wrong, you take it on the chin and that's that. the whole point is no one, not one single person on or offline, has the ability to just say something and walk away smugly, patting themselves on the back, you have to keep moving forward... as you seem so peachy keen on quoting others work it seems fitting to steal and twist from Woody Allen, it's a shark, and it has to keep moving or it dies... what a lot of people settle for is dead shark.
anyway, the point of my last signing was more at people who just sign in generally to say something pretty meaningless and stupid... are they THAT desperate to fill in their days? it just strikes me as a little sad... maybe that is the 'joke' that some people on here can't handle?

laters... off to pub...
Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By PJ on Wed Jun 21 17:28:37 BST 2000:

>anyway, the point of my last signing was more at people who just sign in generally to say something pretty meaningless and stupid... are they THAT desperate to fill in their days? it just strikes me as a little sad... maybe that is the 'joke' that some people on here can't handle?

Isn't this a bit hypercritical Dan - after all, you seem to be able to answer everybodies posting almost as soon as they are sent - perhaps showing that you spend slightly too long on this page.

I know i do.
Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dannnnnn on Wed Jun 21 17:32:53 BST 2000:

Not really, part of my 'job' if you can call it that, is to look for stuff on the net, so i am here anyway... so, not so much as hypocritical as an occupational (ha!) hazard... Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Justin on Wed Jun 21 17:33:35 BST 2000:

Can't you just laugh it off? The Corpses wrote stuff about Sian as well, not to mention Lee & Herring, Al Murray and probably a few others who use this site. They were all big enough to take it - of course they replied, but with a certain amount of self-awareness and good humour. I think you're taking the whole thing much too personally, and if you're thinking of taking the comedy career further than the website, you're going to have to take a lot more flak than that from certain critics. What would you do if Victor Lewis Smith slated something of yours in the Evening Standard - hire a hitman or something?

I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this one. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Daaaaaan on Wed Jun 21 18:21:04 BST 2000:

No i'd expect that person to be able to take as good as they give out though...
that's the point, if you can't do that, you're either dead or just too pathetic to think...
I just don't believe in rolling over and dying when it comes to something i believe in, maybe you do... maybe you like to not make a sound when someone speaks to you... although, going by how you're replying here, i think you are yourself bending your own standards...
As to other people 'taking' the 'flak'. 1. i don't see it is as flak, flak would be defined as something dangerous, and 2. those people might want to take that flak, maybe that is how they deal with stuff like that, but i prefer to deflect back... which is my whole point, and is what a lot of people 'suffer' from, an inability to both give and take... to the people who have replied saying 'groovy' etc, good luck to you, full respect and all that, but i just find it more interesting to see how the other person reacts... maybe it's a sadistic streak in me, i dunno...
agree to disagree...NEVER ;o) Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Justin on Wed Jun 21 19:31:18 BST 2000:

>No i'd expect that person to be able to take as good as they give out though...
>that's the point, if you can't do that, you're either dead or just too pathetic to think...
>I just don't believe in rolling over and dying when it comes to something i believe in, maybe you do... maybe you like to not make a sound when someone speaks to you... although, going by how you're replying here, i think you are yourself bending your own standards...
>As to other people 'taking' the 'flak'. 1. i don't see it is as flak, flak would be defined as something dangerous, and 2. those people might want to take that flak, maybe that is how they deal with stuff like that, but i prefer to deflect back... which is my whole point, and is what a lot of people 'suffer' from, an inability to both give and take... to the people who have replied saying 'groovy' etc, good luck to you, full respect and all that, but i just find it more interesting to see how the other person reacts... maybe it's a sadistic streak in me, i dunno...
>agree to disagree...NEVER ;o)



















Pub shut, was it?

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By everybody on Wed Jun 21 19:59:16 BST 2000:

Dan

JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT OK - the others. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan on Thu Jun 22 12:09:34 BST 2000:

aahahahhaah
i see what you've done there, what YOU'VE done, is taken the fact that you can't discuss out of a paper bag and assumed that by trying to be funny, you will 'win' a debate.
delusion is curable if you go to your GP....

oh, and the pub wasn't shut at all, i went at 8.30 to the paul pry in rayleigh where i consumed a nice amount of beeeeer with a very good friend of mine and organised our night out on saturday.... but, thanks for the concern...

cheerio! Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Al on Thu Jun 22 16:27:03 BST 2000:

I think you've kind of missed the point here if you think this is all about 'winning' a debate.
What Justin, and several others, have been pointing out is that your reaction(which may originally have been justified not only to you but possibly from an objective standpoint as well), is now way, way out of proportion to the original criticism dished out. You don't need to agree to disagree, or even back down, but carrying on this thread as if it were some kind of fairground boxing ring ('No-one can defeat the mighty Dan - he takes on all comers!')has probably made you look a bit silly, and over sensitive. My advice to you is to give it up. I guess you won't want to and of course that's your prerogative - perhaps this thread was always destined to have yours as the last word... Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Thu Jun 22 17:59:43 BST 2000:

*smiles*
perhaps...
i get what you mean, and i am sorry if i come across as like that. it was originally a joke as i have said before, and it was as a reply to the corpses own to me... maybe this *is* the end...? Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Fozzie Fimbimnimbimmiminymimmimmim. on Sat Jun 24 17:36:25 BST 2000:

I always thought David Copperfiield off Three of a Kind wasted his talent. hello....... is there any ....You know you left the light on...
Goodnight.
Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By DL on Sun Jun 25 11:51:41 BST 2000:

didn't he go on to have his own kidz tv series? Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By dr_hackenbush on Mon Jun 26 11:38:41 BST 2000:

Having read this debate with some bemusement, I have to point out that the Corpses Edinburgh Festival parody was spot-on, well-done and funny. Dan L's response to this ("you are failed comedy writers and don't have girlfriends") was ad hominem and also a bit rich coming from someone who writes for the Gusset, which is "failed" comedy by any yardstick. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan L on Mon Jun 26 18:37:11 BST 2000:

"spot-on, well-done and funny"
true, but also extremely derivative, something i believed to be abhored to those running this site...

"failed comedy"?
Um.. yeah... maybe in your view, but not from those who have fed back positively from it. Anyway, as i have said before, the few bits i do actually do for the 'mag' are done because i enjoy writing them... it's an added bonus that people (not just those i write with or share time/company with) enjoy stuff that we all do. I don't write for plaudits, i write because i like it, and i make people i care for laugh and happy... maybe that sounds conceited, but there isn't a single feeling on earth like being able to say something and make someone smile, particularly when it's something you've dreamt up...
For those not at all interested, this month, more of the stories were mine, but that was purely fluke of how the editor put the edition together... and nothing to do with me whatsoever. Once a story is typed up by me, it's sent off to the other three guys for editing, and it's the last i see of it, at least until it goes up online. More often than not, it's a complete surprise to me what *is* on, as it's often things we've written a fair while ago... i.e. the lead 'pope' story i wrote a good 9 months ago...
Anyway, those who have slagged off the site (and for the record, myself and G often slag it off for 'basic graphix' and 'poor to non existent grammar'), it is goign to be completely, so i am told, revamped in the next week... new format and special edition to launch it.... anyway, thanks for the comments, keeps me striving onwards. "The time i get a good review etc..."

Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Angie Savage on Mon Jun 26 19:04:50 BST 2000:

Good on yer DL , dont take any of this shit lying down.I love a man who has some balls not to be bulldozed by this smartarses on this site. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dan L on Mon Jun 26 20:23:05 BST 2000:

Sarcasm? You have to excuse my guarded nature, i think it's something to do with being a smartarse myself ;o)
Subject: Re: constructive criticism
Posted By dr_h on Tue Jun 27 09:56:34 BST 2000:

Having re-read my comment, I realised that it is unfair to criticise someone's work off-hand without explaining how I would improve it. Constructive criticism:
If 3 people edit the Gusset, you should really try to ensure that the grammar and style of the writing is sharpened up. I'm not saying this to be nasty, but because half the comic effect of parody news is the juxtaposition of tone and content. If you put incongruous slang in the first line of the story (like "woofter"), it spoils the effect.
I liked the North-South sex divide article and was amused by the expressions "All Change At Crewe" and "Wallpapered Glove".
If they redesign it, make sure each article is displayed on a page so there's no need to scroll down.
But don't take my advice - I'm a bitter, failed comedy writer without a girlfriend. Subject: Re: Wasted Talent: A Testament
Posted By Dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn on Tue Jun 27 18:06:21 BST 2000:

Cool. See this is what i mean by groovy criticism etc... it's got a point to it, not merely mindless thuggery of someone elses work (i don't mean my friends here btw, i meant in general..)
I agree with some of the points, but then, to us, well, i know from my view anyway, it makes it funnier to every once in a while throw in a word a newspaper wouldn't use... like the *^*£, an occasional ""£%^%& and a sporadic shaking of the good old *^""^*"£!...
the colloquialisms, for me at any road, change it to something more personal... there're running jokes... especially catchphrases that aren't always initiated in the 'gusset' piece of work.. i suppose it's in - joking, but then, like i've said, even though i'd love to work in comedy, i don't take Gusset as a way of seriously getting there.. i dont think any of us do. it's a laugh for us to do, makes us spark off on our own projects i.e. my script, T's book etc...
Moreover, i totally agree with you Re: the format and scrolling...
being a total luddite, and, like i say, not involved with the redesigning, i can't comment really, but it does annoy me...
I am glad you enjoyed the sex survey thing, that was one piece done by the editor himself... to be honest, he is probably, along with Tony, the funniest guy i've ever met... Nice bloke too.
For the record...
Pontiff, Weather, Vietcong, That particular part of the What? Guide to Crime and Chegger's Lessons in Love were mine.
Portugal, Artist, Chelsea, Monkey Tennis were T's.
Fresh Harry, Baby Eating and the concept of What? Crime were G's.
And all the rest were Pauls....
anyway, thanks for the points, it's good to know that someone out there does have foundations for their own opinions. Thanks for the comments advice, i will pass them on!!