>right. here goes. i was young, so it must have been the seventies, and it was on just before (or perhaps after) nationwide, and it was a public information film advising children of the wisdom of not playing on the railway, and it was done up like a game show, and i remember one game where the kids had to run into the tunnel as the train was coming and they ended up being carted out on stretchers.
>
>did i imagine it?

If you did, then I did too. Kids threw bricks and bottles at the train, and the presenter awarded points for seriousness of injury - there was one awful scene (which has stayed with me always) of a driver clutching his bloody face in agony, while the host gushes "Well done - that's a full 10 points" or something.

There was uproar in the popular press at the time because it was feared this film would have exactly the opposite effect to the one intended; rather than driving home the consequences of playing on/vandalising the railways, it would make it seem fun.

Jesus, those public information films were *dark*, weren't they? Early influence on a pre-pubescent Morris?
Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Jon on Wed Aug 23 11:57:14 BST 2000:

When I was at primary school, we had to watch that one about the gang of kids who manage to massacre themselves entirely during the summer holidays through a series of improbable farmyard accidents. I was a bit upset about the boy who sank in the pool of mud and asked my teacher how they'd managed to do the scene so realistically. She just laughed and said "Oh, I'm sure they managed to fish him out afterwards".

I wonder... I mean, you never heard of any of them going on to do other things, did you? Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Wed Aug 23 12:04:28 BST 2000:

I saw both of those - the farmyard one was called "Apache" - and also one called "Building Sites Bite!", which was similar in theme to the farming one except that the youngsters perished at the hands of JCBs etc. Also one about a teenage girl who tried to impress the local hunk by diving into a pond, tore her face open on the rocky underneath, and ended by sombrely musing "he'll never like me now" while fingering a long scar that ran vividly beneath her left eye.

I used to wonder how the frisbee/substation one looked so realistic... I guess it never occurred to me that they might have turned the power off to film it! Anyone know if there's any truth in the rumour that Alan Hawkshaw provided the positively evil synth soundtrack to that one?

And does anyone else remember the Grim Reaper By Pond one??? Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Wed Aug 23 12:08:15 BST 2000:

We were once shown a railway safety video (I'd have been 10 at the time), in which Robbie, a fun-loving wee lad, took a short cut across the rail track with his mates.
Something happened (he tripped or summat) and he got his shoe caught in the track as the points changed. Subsequently had his legs chopped off by the passing train and had to live life in a wheelchair.

It was fucking horiffic, as they showed the real kid the true story was based on, and I never EVER dared go near a railway.

It obviously got to the other kids in my class, as the boys kept pretending that they had no legs (by suspending themselves between two classroom chairs) and that their name was Robbie.

That video beat the hell out of any Green Cross Code Man or the squirrel (Was it a squirrel?)

Scaring the shit out of kids is an excellent form of education... We all remember those scenes so well.

Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Wed Aug 23 12:10:37 BST 2000:

>I used to wonder how the frisbee/substation one looked so realistic...


Oh, that one was horrible... They all were, but I was scared of substations before I even saw that and it just added to the nightmare! Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ewar Woowar on Wed Aug 23 12:18:51 BST 2000:

>
>That video beat the hell out of any Green Cross Code Man or the squirrel (Was it a squirrel?)

Tufty the Squirrel. Bit of an odd choice considering how many of the little blighters end up squished in some gutter somewhere - they might as well have chosen a blummin hedgehog...

The fireworks one took all the fun out of Bonfire Night...
>
>Scaring the shit out of kids is an excellent form of education...

You're so right...I'm off to scare some right now! Anyone want to join me?

Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Wed Aug 23 12:36:35 BST 2000:

> they might as well have chosen a blummin hedgehog...


They HAVE!
Haven't you seen the advert currently on TV, where the hedgehog tells you to stop and look both ways before crossing the road?

Well, the hedgehog *sings* that you should be careful to the tune of 'King of The Road.'

Fantastic! Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Wed Aug 23 12:44:07 BST 2000:

Frisbee/substation is the single most frightening piece of film that I have ever seen. Simple as that.


Anyone else remember the girl who fell in a garden pond? Or the rag doll caught in an escalator that was viciously ripped out at the conclusion? Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By PJ on Wed Aug 23 12:47:56 BST 2000:

All i seemed to get was a shitty book about trains, full of wank drawings by "that bloke who did the pictures for Roald Dahl" Cheers...

Although the the building site and frisbee ones sound familiar.
Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Wed Aug 23 13:12:09 BST 2000:

>Or the rag doll caught in an escalator that was viciously ripped out at the conclusion?

I have been caught by the *same* dress in the *same* escalator TWICE and I have been trapped in a level crossing, as I mentioned the other day on another thread.
Despite the safety videos I have seen and my previous comment about them being educational, I have obviously learned nothing.

Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Sam D on Wed Aug 23 13:24:14 BST 2000:

>>Or the rag doll caught in an escalator that was viciously ripped out at the conclusion?

That put the bijimminies up me! They took it further as well.. it was pre-"Play it Safe" with Sir James Saville, but there was some other programme warning kids not to stick their head in a chip-pan.. anyway, on that there was some kid that got his/her wellington boot caught in an esclator and their leg mangled up good... I remember going up the escalator in Marks and Spencers with my mum shortly afterward and being scared rigid.
Actually, the lingerie department scared me rigid anyway in those days.. of course these days it just m.. no that would be too sad. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Wed Aug 23 13:37:59 BST 2000:

Weirdly enough, I know someone who got runover as a kid while playing Tufty The Squirrel in the street. Obviously PIFs had the wrong effect sometimes!

Ailie, I never realised you were female until now!!! Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Wed Aug 23 13:45:25 BST 2000:

I did once write a big long article on Public Info Films for my magazine, which was full of class jokes etc, but unfortunately it seemed that every time I tried to slot it into an issue, there was something in the news about someone dying in a bizarre public information style way ie touching overhead wires with a fishing rod etc. Maybe it was cursed.

But I _am_ considering putting it up on my site, if enough people want to see it.

The one with kids pouring themselves cupfuls of paint thinner with a dolls tea set. Now that was nasty... Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Wed Aug 23 13:45:26 BST 2000:

>Ailie, I never realised you were female until now!!!


Whaaat?!
Did my feminine charm (or obsession with Mr. Lamarr) not give me away?! ;0)

Ailie is a female name of Scottish Gaelic origin.

What can I say?
You obviously missed the picture of me as a hamster, or you would have known...


albeit roughly...


Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Wed Aug 23 13:46:34 BST 2000:

TJ is a name of ancient Northern England can't be bothered to call anyone by their real full name origin. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Wed Aug 23 13:50:10 BST 2000:

>there was something in the news about someone dying in a bizarre public information style way ie touching overhead wires with a fishing rod etc.


TJ, you have a way with words which despite their grim reality, makes me laugh.

>TJ is a name of ancient Northern England can't be bothered to call anyone by their real full name origin.

Are you a Timothy?
I know someone by the name of TJ who refuses to be called anything other, due to the fact his name is Timothy.

Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Wed Aug 23 13:53:40 BST 2000:

Ailie, you don't _know_ me, do you???


And if you like my way with words, check out my site. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasssseeee... Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Wed Aug 23 13:55:59 BST 2000:

>Ailie, you don't _know_ me, do you???

Not unless you're a Canadian TJ.

What's the URL of your site. I'd love to have a look! :0) Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Wed Aug 23 13:56:45 BST 2000:

Nope, I'm a Brit TJ... and it's http://www.bluejam20.freeserve.co.uk/ Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Wed Aug 23 14:08:35 BST 2000:

I'm having a look at it just now...

...It looks interesting and far less frivolous than I was expecting... (no offence).
I'll have to concentrate on it, which could prove problematic, as I'm not in a concentrating mood.

Yes - sometimes I have to be in the right mood to concentrate.

I was going to explain why, but that would require concentration. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Lord Lopper on Wed Aug 23 15:57:18 BST 2000:

Am I right in thinking that the end of the frisbee/powerstation pif was the kids mate screaming "Jimmy!" in a ridiculously effeminate way.

Also was the Apache farm masacre accompanied by the tune "10 little, 9 little, 8 little indians"?


Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Lord Lopper on Wed Aug 23 15:58:33 BST 2000:

What about the one with the kid running on a beach which stops as his foot is about to step on some broken glass.
That still traumatises me to this day.

Bastards! Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 12:17:04 BST 2000:

>Am I right in thinking that the end of the frisbee/powerstation pif was the kids mate screaming "Jimmy!" in a ridiculously effeminate way.
>
>Also was the Apache farm masacre accompanied by the tune "10 little, 9 little, 8 little indians"?
>

Correct on both counts, Lopper. Shame how Apache etc have never surfaced on video, isn't it?

And Ailie, do they have public info films in Canada?
Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 12:21:00 BST 2000:

>And Ailie, do they have public info films in Canada?


I dunno... I'm Scottish! :0)
The *TJ* I know is Canadian. I have a lot of Canadian friends... Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 12:32:10 BST 2000:

Ah, I see now...


Do they have public info films in Scotland then? Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 13:31:01 BST 2000:

If they didn't, I would never have seen them!
Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 13:37:23 BST 2000:

Good point... but were they the same ones that we got, or were they 'region specific'? Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 13:42:58 BST 2000:

I recognise all the films you're talking about and unless they re-filmed them involving Scottish kids being horrendously injured (which I seriously doubt) then they are exactly the same.
Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 13:50:41 BST 2000:

Of course, if I was working on TV's hilarious The 11 O'Clock Show, I'd make some limp comment about McCharlie Says, or something. But I'm not, so I won't. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 13:52:43 BST 2000:

Oh, go on! Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 13:56:50 BST 2000:

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... Ailie, I like you too much to make light of your ancestry/nationality. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 13:59:51 BST 2000:

:0) Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Sam D on Thu Aug 24 14:01:05 BST 2000:

There could have been one about the dangers of kids sitting on over-turned buckets, featuring Oor Wullie with his arse stuck fast, exlaiming "Jings!" whilst Soapy Souter laughs in the back-ground. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 14:03:51 BST 2000:

"Help ma boab!"

A possible title? Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 14:08:33 BST 2000:

No... wasn't that a sitcom? Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Sam D on Thu Aug 24 14:10:05 BST 2000:

Would have been even better if PC Murdoch had turned up the next day to do the serious assembly chat.

Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 14:10:51 BST 2000:

Please tell me that no one ever called a sitcom "Help ma boab!"

PLEASE

I am fast losing faith in humanity.
Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 14:12:38 BST 2000:

>Would have been even better if PC Murdoch had turned up the next day to do the serious assembly chat.


I am now having a small seizure from laughing at the thought! (seriously - I am in a state of near hysteria).
What a wicked idea!


Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 14:13:44 BST 2000:

Ah yes... the dreaded schooldays visits from 'The Safety Men'!!!

One of them once showed us a public info film with Matthew Corbett, Sweep and Sooty. The master print is no doubt now owned by the Japanese Leisure corporation that bought the rights to Matthew Corbett in 1998

Ailie, is it true you look like Gail Porter? Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 14:14:57 BST 2000:

TJ, I am not going to rise to the bait, you juvenille little boy! Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 14:15:53 BST 2000:

What bait????? Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 14:20:37 BST 2000:

I like this thread.

I'm going to have to start asking people I know whether they are haunted by images of those videos... This is a brilliant 'down the pub' topic.

Maybe they should do some videos for students in Higher Education, highlighting the dangers of being pissed - i.e. ending up in accident and emergency with your head attached to the inside of a parking cone or being wheeled there wedged in a shopping trolley. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 14:21:02 BST 2000:

The Gail Porter bait. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 14:22:47 BST 2000:

I look like a hamster.

Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 14:23:17 BST 2000:

Now come on, I would never knowingly bait you...

There are only three things in life that I bait. Radiohead fans, people who try and sell me stuff that I don't want over the phone, and 1960s garage band singles. The first two I bait as one would bait a bear, dangerously provoking them for my own amusement. The latter I bait and trap in a large plastic box of records. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Jon on Thu Aug 24 14:36:55 BST 2000:

Huzzah! A fellow Radiohead-fan-hater! I thought I was the only one...

Go on, pour out your bile... Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 14:41:06 BST 2000:

OK... *pours out bile*

It's just that some of their fans are so simperingly sycophantic, and expect you to be impressed with them being vegetarians and writing a song about a birds nest that fell on the floor or something. Plus their music isn't much to write home about, either, but their fans appear to be astonished that the entire world doesn't love their every single recorded moment.

And if you think I'm being harsh, then you should see some of the comments that people have been making on my messageboard! Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 14:46:36 BST 2000:

Radiohead?!
There a far worse bands out there than Radiohead.
It's those Belle and Sebastian fans that piss me off.

Being vegetarian is very impressive.
I do not eat flesh. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 14:47:45 BST 2000:

I do actually like B&S, but I don't like their fans much. And I don't really like the new album, come to think of it.

Fans of The Cure are the worst. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 14:51:10 BST 2000:

Damn.
I was trying to bait you.

Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Sam D on Thu Aug 24 14:58:27 BST 2000:

Damn. I like the Cure.
Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 15:00:40 BST 2000:

Ah - Ailie's baiting me now!!! Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 15:01:58 BST 2000:

Oh, come on, don't tell me you didn't enjoy it!

Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 15:03:07 BST 2000:

*blushes in recognition of enjoyment* Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Al on Thu Aug 24 15:09:09 BST 2000:

Cure fans? What about any fans of the following: New Model Army, The Levellers, Fields of the Nephilim, Chumbawumba. All are very sad.

BTW - there are two Public Information Videos available to buy: Charlie Says (animation) and Charlie Live (live action death horror) Both are excellent. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 15:10:32 BST 2000:

They are indeed great... but neither have the legendary Apache on... Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Justin on Thu Aug 24 15:51:21 BST 2000:

Anyone else here loathe and despise the very concept of Robbie Williams? I've come to find Radiohead tiresome (tell us a joke, for Christ's sake), but at least they're not releasing any singles off the new album. But RW - does criticising him constitute a hanging offence, or is it just that I'm wrong? His last single might as well have been called "I Met That Ian Dury Before He Died - Does That Make Me A Diamond Geezer Too?".

Rant over.
Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 15:56:57 BST 2000:

Robbie Williams offends my every dust particle. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Jon on Thu Aug 24 15:58:21 BST 2000:

I find him unnecessary and ultimately meaningless. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Ailie on Thu Aug 24 16:02:41 BST 2000:

He took off his trousers on Top of The Pops, so he must be cool... or a bit too warm.

I like him. He seems nice.
Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By PJ on Thu Aug 24 18:26:06 BST 2000:

RW seems like a bitter chancer and a twat of the highest order, who uses his status to say how his teacher didn't like him and anyway "where are you NOW Mr. Smith?"

I consider myself as a bit of a RH fan (although, oviously, they could never be my Favourite band). Come on then, Bait me. Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By TJ on Thu Aug 24 22:15:27 BST 2000:

Ailie, I'm nicer than Robbie Williams... Subject: Re: help help help
Posted By Justin on Thu Aug 24 22:19:33 BST 2000:

Perhaps I just hate him because he covered XTC's masterly Making Plans For Nigel, purely to have a go at Take That's manager who was called...Nigel. How post-modern. And shite.

I can't wait for the press to turn on him. Which they will do, the c***s, mark my words.
They're every bit as bad as him for encouraging him.





public information films i'm still scared of Posted Tue Aug 29 10:37:20 BST 2000 by jason hazeley

i've already asked ('help help help', some threads ago), but i need more assistance. so it seems there are two of us at least who remember this horrid pif about not playing on the railway done in the style of a game show ("it's only a game show, it's only a game show" - how long before the bb cast singing it is out as a single?) with kids being killed when they tried something stupid and audacious (running into the tunnel as the train came) etc.

does anyone else remember anything else? wasn't it banned the morning after tx?

j xxx


Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By TJ on Tue Aug 29 11:06:24 BST 2000:

It might have been banned the morning after transmission, but it was definitely also shown in our school a while later. I assume that the entire film still exists in the Central Office Of Information archives. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Michael on Tue Aug 29 11:47:17 BST 2000:

>this horrid pif about not playing on the railway done in the style of a game show

Almost an entire edition of Nationwide was given over to its transmission (in '76 or, more likely, '77). Immediately following the screening, in the studio a group of ashen-faced children were asked for their reactions. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By TJ on Tue Aug 29 12:50:24 BST 2000:

By the way Jason, I've had it confirmed to me that the 'doll sinking in quicksand' public information film did exist.

Quite where all this quicksand was supposed to be, though, I don't know.
Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By PJW on Tue Aug 29 13:25:05 BST 2000:

>By the way Jason, I've had it confirmed to me that the 'doll sinking in quicksand' public information film did exist.

I thought that the sinking doll demonstrated the dangers of gravel pits, not quicksand. Kids seemed to regularly get suffocated in gravel pits in the seventies, for some reason.

Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Jon on Tue Aug 29 13:27:06 BST 2000:

They got the idea off the telly. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By TJ on Tue Aug 29 13:41:46 BST 2000:

And did anyone ever _really_ get locked in an old fridge? Or touch overhead wires with the mast of a boat? And what was going on in that five-second wonder where a boy appeared to be tightrope walking onto a train or something??? Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Jon on Tue Aug 29 13:55:15 BST 2000:

It was warning of the dangers of walking a tightrope onto a train or something. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Suiii on Tue Aug 29 20:43:57 BST 2000:

There was an extremely scary one from the early eighties about wearing a seatbelt, where a family drove off and the face of the Devil loomed up towards them and then they all died. It freaked me out for ages. 'Robbie' which may have been mentioned in the other thread, about trespassing on railway lines. I remember when I was 11 and had just started the Comp. the Railway Policeman said "You've all been babied enough with that 'Robbie' rubbish, it's time for the harsh facts now" and they showed something featuring actual accidents caught on CCTV and pictures of squashed bodies. Nasty. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By jason hazeley on Wed Aug 30 10:27:55 BST 2000:

kids sinking in gravel pits? let's hope that gets a section in 'I Love 1976' with some tastefully shot dying sequences.

someone's got to get hold of that awful railway pif and broadcast it again. if anyone sees it on the web, do let the forum know.

still scared...

j xxx Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Suiii on Wed Aug 30 12:26:13 BST 2000:

I think http://tv.cream.org has a scary section about PIF's, with some pics/realplayer footage. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Arma on Wed Aug 30 14:32:31 BST 2000:

"squashed bodies. Nasty."

Messy.


Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Suiii on Wed Aug 30 16:53:32 BST 2000:

You want messy? http://www.stl-online.net/thc/abpg/cycleboy.htm A sort of public info. site about the dangers of racing articulated lorries on your moped. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Ailie on Wed Aug 30 16:59:44 BST 2000:

Good God, Suiii.
That is fucking stomach churning.

How the hell did you find that? Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Suiii on Wed Aug 30 18:16:44 BST 2000:

Someone left the link on another forum. I think it's a fake though. The dead guy appears to have 2 left legs, and where did his neck go?? The 'guts' just look like bits of pork or chicken really. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Dr. Hackenbush on Sun Sep 3 16:13:22 BST 2000:

Before you start having nightmares, I'd like to reassure you all that these pictures are fakes. Human "innards" are more colourful, not just all pink like that. Suiii is right - that stuff is just muscle tissue ie meat. Also, the musculature on one of the legs looks wrong, and you'd expect to see more blood on the road. Plus, I don't believe that a lorry would sever both legs *and* cut the head and arm from the body - you *might* see that in a plane crash. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By PJ on Sun Sep 3 16:59:25 BST 2000:

Its good to have a Dr. around to clear these things up, isn't it? Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By Helen on Sun Sep 3 19:29:37 BST 2000:

A more recent PIF-type thingy was shown on BBC schools TV a few months ago.
It was about the dangers of fireworks, and featured David Schneider as a renegade banger. Personally, I found this very scary. Subject: Re: public information films i'm still scared of
Posted By PJ on Sun Sep 3 21:24:25 BST 2000:

After watching Schneider's 'acting' in Mission: Impossible i, literally, couldn't sleep for hours.