"maybe i feel detatched, i may just look too shy,
it's a disinterest not that i'm a timid guy.
i call them bodies but, they are attentive too,
i feel the social glare i feel the attitude."

Can i Cut it?
I look forward to the beloved smile, yet I?m hunted by its innocent beauty that I destroyed, one so stamped out and corrupted in ways of life . Am I so wrong to loath my own well being? I wish to be torched and slain in a most gruesome ways. I think nothing of actions that would cause me scars. One more mark to show my punishment, one more self inflected bruise to add to my remorse. My body?s a canvas, on which I can paint the pains of my sorrow. May I become as ugly on the outside as I feel within.
?Lick the blade one more time.?

"And the burden of the LORD shall ye mention no more: for every man's word shall be his burden; for ye have perverted the words of the living God."

Pin cushion
Sometimes I just want to go into a comma, turn it all off, sounds, lights, and most importantly shut off the mind. Stop internal dialogue that?s always wrong. Kill intuition, stop acting in any form of a rational manner. Just stop the world. Let all things pass me by. My existence brings joy, and yet perpetuates pain.

Am I only needed so I can be Hated?

Eating Pattern
Walls up high, ends life, and kills laughter. Damn the anger, and bless the ignorance. Can we live for ever? Help those needy, and define morality. Stop the bricks.

Pastels at dusk make for the scarlet fade.
A Mask of night, acts for the blind road.
What covers the boy?

Natural Weapons
Time out form false games of oppression, Time off from the weeks of obsession. I relies what I?ve been hating, and now relies all the lies I?ve been making; only the truth keeps me waiting. Waiting for sounds too come back into my vision, waiting to move back into a clearer division, I mark myself now with clear precision, and still wait for a decision. Forgotten lust makes a false demeanor, lack of skill beats at the heart for a firm believer; still I keep the thoughts of a dreamer, and release the mind to the proper receiver. Why must I decide a long term fate, when I can?t decide a decent rate? Because I love her.

certain pain
So many battles I?ve fought for in the past. I always end on top, all ways kept my life. This time. I don?t want to live, I want to die for what I believe for once. Go head strong and balls to walls. I cause I know I can?t live with myself if I fail. ?the though of being with out you hurts me?

Blood Bath of Birth
Man, October had to be the worst month of my life. Things happened so fast, one after another, every thing fell. My financial situation was crashing, as well as my love life. Only when you risk everything do you realize what you got. It going to be a long road back to the top,
Just glad I?m not alone.
I got the most supportive friends I could ever want,
I got caring parents, and respectful elders.
But only the most beautiful woman in the world
has my Heart.


?Still every night I burn
Every night I scream your name
Every night I burn
Every night the dream's the same
Every night I burn
Waiting for my only friend
Every night I burn
Waiting for the world to end?

Jaded
So unsure of myself these days; I?ve been so focused in the past. Now my life?s a Blur, will uncertain direction. So many thing uncertain, so little time to reach a verdict. I know facts of pain and I?m learning the problems of morality. I?m ignoring the hate, knowing it will come later in do time. I?m confronting myself.