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Friday, 12 December 2003
Realy, stop the bullshit. Each to his own has problems. so keep with the facesucking, and stop bitching. I see no point to this part of my life. You got a Problem? How Cute, well wait your own dam turn. We all lead fucked up lives, save some Consern for the Broken. Then Shoot them all. Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brians. Fuck Drama, Fuck Post Monderm Fame, and Fuck you A&M Corpus. ***** Life will go on. you can go forward, with out looking at the past. I remeber being Blind for a long time. Now is one of those days.
Wednesday, 10 December 2003
Somtimes it just won't burn. Dam it all.
A blaze in the heart can only die if you allow the justification go away. There is no reasoning, no rules, no boundaries, and no end to love. Make a spark and hope for the flame. But either one can burn you. Some scars are worth keeping. Keep on Burning. ***** Its hard to predict people. Why is it easy to give up, but hard to let go? Giving up is an acceptance, but letting go is a failure. i dont know what i want, only who i am.
Tuesday, 9 December 2003
2nd View
In the filtered glass, you can see no wrong? only beauty. That?s all you wish. Wish your thoughts to reach the other. Wish your Heart to Explode. End the hunger that rests with in your sole. Can you see the Glass? Would I press my hand and rest the passion. Hold the past and die. Break the glass, and the world is lost forever. Then are we lost when there is a lack of influence? I was, but in glass I am blind and I need a light. ****** To night i sat out side. and just when i looked up, the sky fell. i saw the shooting star. but for the first time i changed my wish. and you know. it felt right. Best wishes to Jamie and Phill. I love you guys. set an example for everyone. i see it. ill end with this. I?LL CONTINUE TO BURN
Saturday, 6 December 2003
A New Stride
Break all the enchantments. Take all the stars and lay them down one bye one. Line them up as you see fit. Then chose. Find were you are, find your Stride. Go, move with lights speed, from starlight to starfall. Run, that road in a steady pace. There is no end to this race. Move on with a ghostly gallant, move one with the solar wind. Nearer and nearer, the face burns like a Flame. Rest your eyes from a twinkle. Then find your hope once more. Break Enchantments, and charm your own.
Cold
So sad would my words be now, now in this moment of excitement, and total denial. I can feel the light, but can never see it. It would be blinding if I lashed out and stepped forth right now. I could show my arms, and bare an admiration. Then wait for any acceptance. Pity me to find the open flame that needs nothing more to burn. No kinder, no parchment, no warmth. Burn she will, and smolder shall I. O my dreams end now. this night; I too will admire the choice. So cold. I must live with the joke at my side. Laugh and it hurts, cry and ill find only desperation. With out laughter, with out emotion there is nothing. So cold to be alone.
Tuesday, 25 November 2003
Why does the past haunt one so. Nightmares & Visions. Ideas and better ways that will make it right. I know I?ve changed. Wait, what was the real reason. It is so Dam HARD to lie to your self, when you never knew the truth. Yet we try, o god we try. And Still we catch ourselves mid-moment. If you scare your face, it betters your Ego. Why can?t we let go? I guess we can never give up on a chance for happiness. Truly said and falsely revered. Happiness Lasts Forever in Memory, Yet is Forgotten in a Life Time. ?I?m afraid to hurt you.? Well fuck. 2 years you say, how could i forget ?Hey people can change.? But people forget. You forget why it stopped. Or just claim you never knew. I know why it started. but Did I ever know? yet my heart still dose crave. ?I want it back.? But we know its wrong. My hear is as cold, Cold and Empty. Empty like the moonlight that shines on this page.
Dignity
The passions that drive use should be the ones we repeat, and admire. But to feel shame for our own motivations is such a vulgar thing. Your not making any sense again. Clean this crap up. That crap use to be a man. His face makes my eyes weep. but I feel the great smile on my face, check to check. Almost as big as the cut I lay to his throat. Shut up. Why did this man have to die? He was going to hurt you. They all want to hurt you. You don?t know that. This is murder. If you think that, your just as cold as the moon light that shines on this knife. Who are you to decide. Will this fate seek all that appose you? Sure, their all helpless walking sacks of meat. If they cant defend themselves, then so be it. I am Strong. No I am Empty, there is no Reasoning for this Motive. Where?s the dignity in it. That man kept his pride. This is... This is shameful, that man at least had some form of ambition. There is Dignity in that corpse Dignity!! Is that what?s this is about. All right Quit you bitching. What good is dignity, look what dignity has gotten him. A red collared shirt. Look to his eye?s He?s got pride. That?s something you can?t have. He will keep that in his heart forever Not if I cut it out first. at least I know better than to simply assume a complete justification for my actions? Is that what this world looks for? Pride. People die every day. Weather they die old in bed, or with my icy hands rapped round their throat. The final coarse is served the same. Ha! And what about dignity. I keep telling my little sappy speech to Mr. Jon-Dow He?s still dead. I killed him No, no I didn?t Theirs Bloods In my hands. I still need a cause. What is my creed? Dam it, have I not been listening to have pride, to have dignity, in this hell forsaken world is to be dead. Exactly
Thursday, 6 November 2003
Keep Smiling. Till the end of days, I?ll bide my time. Look forward, Away from conflict. 3 moons have risen, 3 left to fall, 12 to relapse my better days. Improve your self. Empathy has no room for Ambition. Yet careers are Made from this vary Farce. How do you get to Haven? Step 1. Die?
Thursday, 31 July 2003
Mr. Happy
Would I die a 1,000 times to her your voice once more. Will I give up, or give in. damn this. Humans are week. It?s Emotion. I can?t let go, I want to. I cry and I bleed, still I remember. Scares and self-mutilations, still I feel such sorrow. Damn your Pretty face. That Face that haunts my dreams. Damn the memories that won?t let me sleep to night. Damn my heart for falling in love. And Fuck the past for teaching lesions I shall never learn. I want her so? but not bye force. I want her acceptants. I want to make her laugh, and live only with a smile. I want to hear her sing to me, with no words and only heart. I wish to rest my head, and fall to her presence. I wish to wake midmorning to a kiss upon my lips. I want to right wrongs. I wish to Grow with age, and fade with beauty. Wish to this night, that I might cry to her arms. But I Truly wish to be free of her.
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