Happy Birthday Shadow Man
"Something's changed since those teenage days
I'm growing into my own
I'm the talk of the Town
Looking strang and I'll say it out Loud."
(Orgy)

Soon the man will be Born
Some Boys have their days numbered. This teenager has 2.
?Every one dies. Their is a man carrying a bullet with your name on it, and they don?t even know it. The trick is, try to die of old age before it finds you.?

Wake up, For get the Past. Go a thousand miles in a jet airplane. Wake up

The Sweet is not as sweet without the Bitter.
A Night of Sweat, Loud Music, and Senseless Brawling;
Might have change my Life.
I?m getting a lot of letters now.
Dieing should be left to private, but Cry might be a public display.
Can you yell Fire?

Channel the Mind, and run though all the patterns. The Music. The Sound of the universe. A beat, beat in time. To each shows there own beat, each person play there own Tune. Like one; all the sound comes together. People become one with Harmony. To make an Ocean of Sound. The Sea of music. All the people are the writer , all people are the Music, all beaches are the world. All sounds beat in beauty. Can you hear the Ocean? Can you smell the salty wind? The Beat. The Mind. The Love?

I don?t know what happened to me over the break. In words one might say I face my own daemon? If you show Love, than Love you will receive back. ?the Smarter you are, the sadder you become.? (David Carrie ) When you hit Bottom, only way to go is up.
I?m so happy, so liked now, I don?t want this to end.

Leech's Friends
I love each of my friends to death, and I hate myself for treating them all like crap. I know I'm not the best of people. An egotist, so inconsiderate, I'm a jerk. I hear this too often. It keeps me up at night, much like this one. The problem is easy to fix, but hard to apply the correction. I need help. I ask to all of you. Those who hate me, others that resent me, and most that loath. Please help. Help me with your anger, help me be a better friend, help me to better understand myself. It sucks to be alone. Any one can tell you that. I'm admitting it. The richest man can count his friends in one hand. My open palm set no limits to whom may grasp it. Now I'm reaching, If there was any kindness, please reflect it Or better your self. Give no pity, only acknowledgement. Emotion separates the animals from man, But still selfishness keeps man out of the jungle.
?O the angst, haha it?s my turn.?

Caffeine, one of the great joys of sleep deprivation. Lack of motivation. Fuck me running. Ouch. O you, why can?t we just see past the problems. Past the admiration, past the lust. You got a quarter for my troubles. Sorry I can?t break this bill. Damn it all, and god bless every one. I just live life. Me too. We might have something in common. Read your own log book. I feel so understanding some times. But most of it I could give a damn. You like music? I got 9 songs I love, and I don?t know the words. Then why do I like it? Its better to pick something, than change stations, keep on listening.

Tick tock
I kinda feel like there all out to get me. The more Ego you express, the less its merit. One personal painful problem , can be another?s life story. So the world turns end over end. Show light to one side, and I got too many redemptions. Black it all out. Then your left with?

You got a reason for existence? Sure we all do, what about a purpose?

Giving up is an acceptance, but letting go is a failure.

Who is to blame?
And the list goes on? another step, and longer road.
If I had a problem I?d be angry, if I had a lust I could fill it. But pity I will never have. Empathy yes, I might have lots, But unconditional sympathy, what a vulgar thing. Don?t waste my time. To each is his own. How hypocritical I must seem right now. A jerk I have become, low rotten, and careless. I have the best backing in only the worst mindset. O but a dream I once had, o but a dream I have forgot. ?I may be bad, but I feel so good?

Stop Whining.
need to take control. I could call each day and keep the faith up. I?ve been walking that old road far to long now. Time to change take it back. Work hard and don?t give up. Time to stop my mind. Need to stop having long talks about every thing. They have done nothing good for me. Nothing. Only boost my confidence, and make me full of despair. Anger is much for useful. I must keep the control. I lost most of it last year. Well no more.

If you could read my mind, would you listen to what I have to say?
I could hear her crying on the receiver. If you were blind, would there be a point to color? I could feel each tear roll down her cheek. ?Anger? the more I pound this fist, the more broken I become. I can see the blood in my hands. Damn HIM. I?m scared of what I might do.
Please be happy, or let me cry with you.