I spent 3 days in constant contact with people this weekend, finally on Sunday they all leave and I get a chance to be by myself. Its nice to relax, but o so depressing to live by myself. Reality hit me hard this afternoon. I called Lindsay immediately, I was wonderful to finally talk to her for a good undisturbed hour. Yet it made me so sad, I knew I had to get off, and go back to my box that is my home. I was able to keep busy this weekend and keep active so I would not miss her as badly. Then when I ran out of things to do. It all caught up.

But im doing better, talking to lin is all ways the highlight of my day. When I hear her voice, all my worries just go away.

Girl, it's been a long time that we've been apart
Much too long for a man who needs love
I miss you since I've been away
Babe, it wasn't easy to leave you alone
It's getting harder each time that I go
If I had the choice, I would stay

There's no one like you
I can't wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you

Girl, there are really no words strong enough
To describe all my longing for love
I don't want my feelings restrained
Ooh, babe, I just need you like never before
Just imagine you'd come through this door
You'd take all my sorrow away

There's no one like you
I can't wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you

(No One Like You)- THE SCORPIONS

It crazy this morning, when i woke up this song was playing on the radio. it made me so sad, these weeks apart get harder each time.
Well getting ready for the big LAN party this weekend. my bud mikes, coming down from H-town, Rock?n.
looks like, Drinking, CPU's, and Exams on Monday, too much funny for Morgan.

Friction & Fantasy
I had one of the most fulfilling weekends of my life. I never dreamed it was possible to love some one this much. I found a hold new level of devotion. She seems to love sleeping in my arms. (practically any chance she gets) I love being there. Long days, and wild nights filled my time. So much laughter, so much enjoyment. You?d think me a liar when I say ? I remember every single kiss.? Its not hard, each is the same. Passion, devotion, and love, each time. So much love fills my memories. I cried when I left. The word love, holds no meaning now, we are beyond what words can describe.

13 Moons
?The future is now, forget the past, the presents gone,
until the gorgeous night.
Outrages mind-blowing nightmares end up in the never ending fight.?

Things are going great now that I?ve fully embraced the responsibly that is collage. I seem to do everything. Work, Homework, staying fit. I have every thing, nice life style, good friends, and a Loving girlfriend. I some how am now able to balance it all. My feelings of emptiness must only pour from an extensive schedule. Every thing is done for me or predicated, not much room for Random adventures. Is this what growing up feels like? Finally accepting the pattern that is society, or is it being able to balance all things I want in life perfectly together? No mater for I am happy.

Become one with the Night, Like a child born under the moon. Wild
I Burn.

Warriors Dance
Scared of beatings and physical toxins.
Scared of life and broken segments.
No reasons for fevered skin,
No reasons for corrupted foreplay.
No wounds, no marks = No memory.
Mercy?


I can not change the fact that its not coming back.
Still we move on to life?s uncertain beat,
Clean diligent and precise.
Until the end when we last meet.
We all pay the final price.

Must we wait until the end of our days
to see the error in our ways?

The world is Turing.

Late night I wonder, will I wake up someone else? Change my life in a sudden escape, fly 1,000 miles in a jet air plane. Wake up. Weeks pass me by faster and faster. I?m slipping down. What will a new day bring me. Can death extend it hand a little closer.
I want to smell the sunset. I want to know more of what I?m missing. To wake up deferent. Would I remember my old self. Know were my plane has left me. I care not for past recollections. Yet I keep them locked and filled with hope. Walk backwards and read an old exploit. Forget a scar, make a new one? dance with a knife, and lick the blade.
I smell fear.

()xxx[];;;;;;;;;;>

Things are moving smoothly, I?m soon going to break an out dated mark in my life.
c ya in the winners circle.

Fear & Anger
I hate my fellow man. So brutal, I wish to be in the sight of my loves oppressor. If pain was inflicted. The punishment would not fit the crime. What am I really capable of? If thoughts are worse than actions, than the cruelest day of my life, will be a day that I?m thinking clearly. Would I throw away my life for another? I know myself to be the Martyr. The question is, when do I throw my life for another. Keep my thoughts in check. So much anger at times. I run her attack in my head over and over. So mush detail in the scene, I feel as if I?m there watching. Watching and unable to help. If I was there would I have lost it? I feel psychotic in my mind right now. I?m scared, I have the right be furious. Just a he had no right. My anger is justified. It was an attack at us, our life, our future. Some one tried to change it all. I fear my own safety when I think of the lengths people will go to keep happiness. Can I die for what I believe in? You bet. Will choose the right battle? No
I must think of the aftermath. I am strong for Loving. I am stronger if I comfort, I am stronger if I support. I will all ways be there to hold you. I promise.

Selfpitty.
I?m surrounded by friends, some are a life time, others aren?t worth keeping. But that don?t matter to me. I could care less about the people who surround me. I only worry about my beloveds judgment. Such a cruel game I play on myself. Twisting words, and reading wrong. Freaking at the slightest chance in lacking interest. I never learned the ups and downs. Only the good times, and the bad. I can?t take it. So painful are the thoughts of mine. So broken are my memories and fatal intentions. I want to be perfect , I want to stay happy. I want to roll with the pouches, and toss the dice. I want to be able to let go of an argument, and think of ways not to fight. I don?t want to be scared of my own complex. To be human, and unable to move on or forgive. That?s my pain, and I want nothing to do with it. I want to accept life for once.

So sick of this, doing ever thing I have to. One more bottle to wash away the pain, please come back some other day. Hate me later, and love me right. Kill the message and forget to fight. Still the mind kills.

Constant hysteria
Uncertainty with familiar values. Values of opinion, Values of character, Values of judgment. People of interest, items of pleasure, places of conflicting interest. I have few things of value thesis days? I hope to rid myself of all bindings, all matters of importance?s. I wish to simply not-do? no do any expectations, not due any obligations. Am I doing anything? By values I stand strong in principle. But lack hope to accomplish any thing. I want the difference, the death, the uncertainty. I want the Beauty.