Crying Down The Empty Bottle
Do my own thing, and drink to hearts content. I cared so much for people around me. Watch there drinks, watch who they talked to. Refused to let some go home with others. I care so much. But the one I care the most about is 200 miles away. I feel so helpless, so god damn helpless. I see the worst in men, and the anger in man. I hate it all, I want to be there for her. I want to protect her from all the pain I see. I want to stop crying in my fears. I want to stop. Stop checking the phone every 5 min, stop wondering if your alright. I hate all men, I hate myself. I?m a piece of shit. I hate being so nice, I hate being so concerned. I hate letting others love me. Damn it. Why must I get so fearful, I?m so demanding, I?m so pathetic. I see other couples and want that love, I see my self and know I got it. I?m in love and she loves me. But I feel bad. So bad for the distance so bad for the way I makes both of us feel. So bad that I can?t hold her each night, so bad that I can wake to that beautiful face. So bad that I can bee there. Why must I live this way, always in complication. Why must I suffer. I know not of any acts tonight. I know only of the night mare my mind shows me. I think the worst, and pray that does not happen. I an broken and I cant call. Why, why must I wait. damn the phone, damn the msg. Damn you all that taunt me. I?m in love, and I feel there is nothing I can do to fully express it. Please be safe in the morning, or I can?t go on.