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Gujarati,Hindi and English Poetry by pkshah

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================ Maharashtrian Surnames ================ 1. One with only one finger - EKBOTE 2. True Maharashtrian - KHARE 3. False Maharashtrian - KHOTE Some Special Maharashtrians 1. One who only takes - LELE 2. One with bulb factory - DIVEKAR 3. Maharashtrian Bill Gates - BAL PHATAK 4. One with weight of 100 tonnes - SOMAN 5. Neil Armstrong - NEELESH BHUJBAL 6. One with K on his head - SHIRKE 7. Bakery owner - PAWGI/BUNKAR 8. Narasimha Avtar - POTPHODE 9. One with stomach problem - POTDUKHE 10. One who lives in village - GAONKAR 11. One who only take money - DAMLE 12. One who is brave - WAGH/VEERKAR 13. One who is untidy - GABALE 14. Cotton mill owner - KAPSE/RUIKAR 15. One who eats more - DHOLE/DHAMDHERE 17. One who works very cool - KULKARNI 18. Building constructor - WAADEKAR/MAHALE 19. One who is coward - PULEKAR 20. Silver mine owner - CHANDEKAR 21. One who reaches the root - MULEY 22. One who is real cat - MANJAREKAR 23. One who is 1000 times more intellegent - SAHASRABUDHHE 24. One who divides by 2 - NIMKAR 25. One who kills - MARANE 26. Do die do - KARMARKAR 27. One who twists - PILGAONKAR 28. The God - DEVO/DEO-kule 29. Big old Rishi - MAHAMUNI 30. One who always wins - JAYKAR 31. One who talks a lot - MAHASHABDE 32. One who doesn't talk - GOOPCHOOP 33. One who builds temples - DEVALEKAR 34. One who runs away - BHAGWAT 35. One who blackens everything - KAJALE 36. One who always says 'take away' - NENE 37. One who is father - BAPAT 38. One who feels very cold - KAKDE 39. One with tailoring shop - SHIWDE 40. Jeweller - RATNAPARAKHI 41. One who always go to varanasi - KASHIKAR 42. One who is very sweat - GODSE 43. Its okay - BARWE 44. Mango man - AAMBEKAR 45. One who Opens up , by getting aside - KOLHATKAR 46. One who thinks - VICHAARE 47. One who is close to everyone - JAWALKAR 48. One who is wise - SHAHANE 49. One who loves their neck - MANE 50. Colourful Maharashtrians - KALE - GORE - HIRWE - KALBHOR - PIWALE - DHAWLE Some famous Maharashtrians 51. Arnold Schwarzenegger - ARJUN SHIVAJINAGAR 52. Demmie Moor - DAMAYANTI MORE 53. Bob Dole - Baburao Dole. 54. Some Metallic Maharashtrians - PITALE - TAMBE - LOKHANDE - SONE 55. Worriless Maharashtrian - NIKALJE 56. Clerk - Chitnis 57. One who talks sweetly - Godbole 58. Always enthusiastic - Josh-i 59. A desperate surgeon - Phad-ke 60. One with a garden - Phule 61. Who's always sad - Udas 62. Escaping from a jail - Yarawdekar 63. A person with a nursery (flowers) - Bagaitkar 64. A person definitely from Konkan- Phansalkar. 65. An auto mechanic (automechanik) - Gadekar 66. Always stay away - Pad-hye 67. Factory of hair - Kes-kar ======END========= ======================= Computer terminology : Funny use. ======================= mere... Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain Aur lonely hain... Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain... Shayad mere pyar ko taste Karna bhool gaye... Dil sey aisa CUT kiya ke PASTE karna bhool gaye.. Tumhare samne hain itney items Kabhi hame bhi pick karo... Hamare pyar ke ICON pe Kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo... Roz subha hum karte hai Itne pyar se unhe good morning... Woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain Jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS... Ho gayi galti humse, Click ho gaya mouse Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse! Tumse mila main kal to, Mere dil mein hua ek sound, Lekin aaj tum mili To kehti ho: Your file not found! Ab aur kaho na tum, "but" ya "if" Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated gif Aysa bhi nahin hai ke, I don't like your face Par dil ke computer mein, Nahin hai enough disk space Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, Pehen ke evening gown Too many requests se, Ho jaata hai server down Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application, Create main karoonga Tum usse debug karna, Wait main karoonga Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, Main so gaya Yeh dekho mera connection, Time out ho gaya Kya chaal hai tumhaari, Jaise chalti hai koi cat What is your ICQ number, Aao karein chat Tum jabse meri zindagi, mein aayi ho banke female, Yaad raha na ab kuch, Na postman , Na e-Mail Joh sadiyaon se hota aaya hai Woh repeat kar doonga... Tu naa mili to tujhko dil sey Ctrl+Alt+Delete kar doonga... Humse Kya Khata Hui Ki message Aanna Band Hai....... Aap hi humse naraz hain ya Web Server band hai....... Badli hai duniya , kuchch mein bhi badal gaya hoon Pahle bekaar tha ab S/W Programmer ban gaya hoon VC aaye to VB mein daal do, seedhe seedhe sabko museebat mein daal do Project extend ho gaya to kya ho jaata hai? Are Tankha milti hai aur timepass ho jata hai.. teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya kabhi offline to kabhi online piya Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai Laila ghar mein aur majnoo project testing kar rahe hote ==========End============= ====================== Arz kiya hain...... ====================== Boss Aaya hamaare cubicle mein, Gazab kee timing hai, Kabhi hum boss ko, Kabhi Compu pe chal rahe Game ko dekhte hain. wah wah.....wah wah..... ---------- arz kiya hain...... Mera Boss Gayaa Rangoon, Wahaan se kiya hai telephooone, Ke Software Crash hota hai, Aur customer jor se rota hai wah wah.....wah wah..... -------- arz kiya hain...... Do hee pal, Office mein, Guzare Hain Khush hal, Ik Boss Ke Aaane ke pehle, Ik Boss Ke Jaane ke baad. -------- Yoon-hee tum office mein aate ho, Yaa koi kaam ka iraada hai ? Fraud mere pehchaanta hee nahin, Mera boss bhi kitna saadaa hai. ----------- Hum Hain S/W Engg. bekaar ke, Hum Se kuchh na boliye, Jo bhi project hame mile, Bugs bhar ke code kiye. wah wah.....wah wah..... ------------ arz kiya hain...... Kar chale, implement, ye function saathion, Ab tumhaare hawaale, core dump saathion. ---------- arz kiya hain...... E Mere s/w engg. , kahin aur chal, Bugs se ye product bhar gaya, Crash dekh ke customer dar gayaa 7:08 AM 3/12/2005 ======end================ =============================== kyaa kare? hasanaa hi paDegaa. =============================== Jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye, husn ke tewar nukile ho gaye, hum izhar karne me thode dhile ho gaye, AUR UNKE HATH PEELE HO GAYE.... Ho gayi galti humse, click ho gaya mouse Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse! Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound, Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found! Ab aur kaho na tum, "but" ya "if" Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated gif Aisa bhi nahin hai ke, I don't like your face Par dil ke computer mein,no enough disk space Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, pehen ke evening gown Too many requests se, ho jaata hai server down Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application, create main karoonga Tum usse debug karna, wait main karoonga Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, main so gaya Yeh dekho mera connection, time out ho gaya Kya chaal hai tumhaari, jaise chalti hai koi cat What is your ICQ number, aao karein chat Tum jabse meri zindagi mein, aayi ho banke female Yaad raha na ab kuch, na postman , na e-Mail Main tumhein pyaar kyun karoon, tum nahi ho Ash, Phir bhi tumhe dekh kar mera, system hota hai flash =====End========= ============================ Buddhuram,teraa kyaa kehnaa? ============================ 1. Ek dost ne Buddhuram se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon dekhta rehta." Buddhuram "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do." 2. Four hightech Buddhuram's inventions: ----------------------------------------------- ---Waterproof towel ---Solar powered torch ---Book on how to read ---Pedal powered wheel chair. 3. Why did Buddhuram cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what ---To avoid side effect!!! 4. Buddhuram ke bagiche me bahut ped the. Buddhuram ne naukar se bola: pedo.n ko pani dal. Naukar bola "sahib barish ho rahi hai" Buddhuram : abe budhu chatri pakadke dal ." 5. Lawyer to Buddhuram: Gita pe haath laga kar kaho ke ---- Buddhuram :yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court ne bulaiya. ab fir Gita pe haath.......? 6. Ek teacher ne Buddhuram se puchha "akal badhi ya bhais " Buddhuram bola: "Sir, pehle date of birth to batao". 7. Buddhuram proposed to a girl. Girl said I'm one year elder to you. Buddhuram said: "oye no problem, I'll marry you next year". 8. Why was Buddhuram writing the exam sitting near the door bcoz it was an entrance exam. =====End======= =========================== Bill Gates had announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows ersion in Hindi. Here are some Windows related terms that are to be used in the Hindi version of ..Khidkiyan doHazar ( Windows 2000): ============================ 1.Phaail = File 2.Bachao = Save 3.Aise Bachao = Save as 4.Subko Bachao = Save All 5.Mujhe Bachao = Help 6.Dhoondo = Find 7.Firse Dhoondo = Find Again 8.Hilao = Move 9.Dak = Mail 10.Dakiya = Mailer 11.Paas se dhekho = Zoom 12.Door se dhekho = Zoom Out 13.Kholo = Open 14.Bandh Karo = Close 15.Naya = New 16.Purana/Khatara = Old 17.Badli Karo = Replace 18.Bhaago = Run 19.Chaapo = Print 20.Dekh Ke Chaapo = Print Preview 21.Nakal Utaaro/Kaapi =Copy 22.Kaato = Cut 23.Chipkao = Paste 24.Payshal Chipkao = Paste Special 25.Goli Maaro = Delete 26.Nazaara = View 27.Hatyaar = Tools 28.Hatyaar Khamba = Toolbar 29.Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet 30.Kalti Maaro = Exit 31.Ped = Tree 32.Thooso = Compress 33.Chooha = mouse 34.Tik Karo = Click 35.Tik-Tik Karo = Double Click 36.Idhar-se-Udhar -Forward 37.khamba=scrollbar ===================== Additional Softwares ==================== 1.MICROSOFT WINDOWS 2000 - ATISUKSHMA MULAYAM (microsoft) KHIDKIYAAN (windows)AVRUTTI (version) DOHAZAR (2000)" 2. Double Click with the left mouse button Chuhe ke baye kaan ko zatpat do baar marodkar 'tadak-tadak'=(clik-click)kariye 3. GPF(GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT) - Sarvasaadharan Suraksha Mein Gadbad 4. 'This program has performed an illegal operation - "Abort,Retry or Ignore" ? "Is karyakram ne gairkanooni kaam kiya hai -zatak se bandkaro (abort),Koshish karte raho/Hum onge Kamyaab retry), Goli Maro (Ignore)" 5. MICROSOFT POWERPOINT - "AtiSukshma Mulayam ShaktiBindu" 6. MICROSOFT WORD 6 - "AtiSukshma Mulayam Shabda Cheh" 7. MICROSOFT ACCESS - "AtiSukshma Mulayam PRAVESH KI SAMMATI" 8. FOXPRO - "Lombdigiri (Lomiree) mein Maahir" 9. MICROSOFT VISUAL C++ - "AtiSukshma Mulayam Nazaaraa C adhik hi adhik" 10. OFFICE 2000 - "Karyalaya 2000 mein" 11. Internet Explorer - "Taaron ke Jaal ka Sanshodhak" 12. Lotus Notes - " Kamal ke Ruppeye" 13. ACCESS DENIED - " Ghusne ki Agya ======================================= ------------------------- Shaers by: Buddhuram: -------------------------- Khidki pe jake dekhato raste pe koi nahi tha Khidki pe jake dekhato raste pe koi nahi tha Raste pe jake dekha, khidki pe koi nahi tha ============ Raat bhar SMS kiya to raat kat gai Raat bhar SMS kiya to raat kat gai wah wah ! Subah balance dekha: waat lag gai ============ Baap Bete se : Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye? Beta : Mujhe chand jaisi biwi chahiye jo raat ko aye aur subah chali jaye ======================== ============ God apun se puchha Kidar jayenga ? Heaven Ki Hell? Apun bola Hell Kyon ki apun ko malum tum udarich milenga jaha tum hoenga woh bhi heaven mafaq lagengana beedu ============= 1 Barsat ki raat -ek bhigi ladki -bhiga badan -bhigi zulfe -bhige hoth -hum dono ki nazre mili -usko dekh ke aisa laga ki -usko kal 100 % sardi hogi ============= ==================== machar marne ka latest tareeka ===================== pehle kisi kone par machhar dhundho, phir uska kaan pakdoo, phir use palang par ulta lita ke uske pet mein gudgudee karo zor zor se karo, aur jab vo haste hue muh khole, uske muh mein chamach se zeher daal do. see how simple. --------END----------- ================ Journey,taak dhinaadhin ================ Ek din, main lahore pahuncha, Station pe ek coolie se bahar jane ka rasta pooncha, Coolie ne kaha "bahar jaake poocho." Maine khud hi rasta doondh liya, Bahar jaake taxiwale se pooncha, "bhai saab minaray pakistan ka kitna loge?" jawab mila, "bechna nahi hai.." Taxi chod, maine bus pakad li, conductor se pooncha, "ji. kya mein cigarette pi sakta hoon?" wo gurrra kar bola, "hargiz nahi, yaha cigarette pina mana hai." Maine kaha, "par wo janab to pi rahe hai!" Phir se gurrrraya, " usne mujhse pooncha nahi hai." minaray pakistan pahucha, hotel gaya. Manager se kaha, " mujhe room chahiye, satve manzil pe." Manager ne kaha, "rahane ke liye ya koodne ke liye?" Room pahucha, waiter se kaha, "ek paani ka gilas milega."! Usne jawab diya, " nahi sahab, yaha to saare kanch ke milte hai." Hotel se nikla dost ke ghar jaane ke liye, Raste me ek sahab se pooncha, "janab, ye sadak kaha ko jaati hai?" Janab hans kar bole, " peechle bees saal se dekh rahan hoon, yahi padi hai....kahin nahin jaati" Dost ke ghar pahucha, to mujhe dekhte hi chownk pada Usne poocha, "kaise aana hua?" Ab tak to mujhe bhi aadat pad gayi thi, Maine bhi jawab diya, "Train se.." Meri aaobhagat karne ke liye dost ne apni biwi se kaha, "areeee sunti ho... mera dost pehli baar ghar aaya hai, uuse kuch taza khilao.. " sunte hi bhabhi ji ne ghar ki sari khidkiya aur darwaze khol diye. Kaha, "tazi hawa kha lijiye." Thodi der baad dekha, bhabiji apne grandson ko soola rahi thi, Saath me lori bhi ga rahi thi, "diploma so ja, diploma so ja." Lori soon mein hairan hua aur dost se poocha, "yaar ye diploma kya hai?" Dost ne jawab diya, "mere grandson ka naam, Beti karachi gayi thi, diploma lene ke liye aur saath mein ise le aayi, isiliye hamne iska naam diploma rakh diya." =================== ============ laa javaab, pyaare ! ============= Khuda kare humaari dosti aisi ho Ki Chot tumhe lage aur dard mujhe ho Dil tumhaara dhadke aur dhadkan meri ho Naukri tum karo aur salary meri ho wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawa !!!! Har samundar mein saahil nahin hota Har jahaaz mein missile nahin hota Agar Dhirubhai ka sapna nahin hota To har admi ke paas mobile nahin hota wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawaw !!!! Khud ko kar buland itnaa.. Ke' Himaalay ki choti pe jaa pahunche.. aur khuda tumse puche.. 'Abe gadhe... ab utrega kaise ' wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawaw !!! jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi dil ne kaha khud kushi kar le jalim bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi wawawawawawawawawwawawawawawawawa !!! Ghar ghar main diya jale To diwali mat samjho Agar main tera peeche paroon To mawali mat samjho wawawawawawawawawawawawaawawaawa !!! Patharr kyun marte ho, pura pahaad maar do Hum yuheeen mar jayenge, sirf ek baar aankh maar do wawawawawawawawawawawawwaawwaaw !!! Tere ishq main janam kya se kya haal ho gaya Badan se badboo aa rahee hai, nahaaye jamana ho gaya wawawawawawawawawawawawwaawwaaw !!! Yeh tera chehra hai yaa kele ka chhilka Jo dekha to dil phisal gaya wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawa !!! ==bas WaWaWa==END== pooraa ho gayaa=== ================= kyo.n,kaisaa likhaa hai? ================= Tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya Ki kal raat ko maine itna kyon khaaya Tu mere dil mein aise samaayi hai Jaise baajre ke khet mein bhains ghus aayi Teri zulfein hain ya ghana andhera Katwa de baal, aur kar de savera Majnu Laila ke baal pakad ke bola Goya kitne din se sar nahin dhoya Jaayiye aap kahan jaayenge Hum khud aapko chhod aayenge Khush rahe tu sada yeh dua hai meri Teri premika hi ban jaaye bhabhi teri Hum aapke dil mein rahate hai Aur bhaada bhi nahin dete hai =====end===== ================ Shaadike aage pichhe ================ Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya? Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Ha Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun? Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Reason Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen? Shaadi ke pehle - chal chayya chayya ...... Shaadi ke baad - ah aab laut chale ........ Shaadi ke pehle- hum aapke dil main rehte hain Shaadi ke baad - hum apke ghar main rehte hain Shaadi ke pehle - arzoo Shaadi ke baad - asoo Shaadi ke pehle - soldier Shaadi ke baad - major sahib Shaadi ke pehle - pyaar hona hi tha Shaadi ke baad - meri saath esa kyu hua Shaadi ke pehle - jeevan saathi Shaadi ke baad - bachcho ke baad, bangaye hathi Shaadi ke pehle - deewana Shaadi ke baad - anjaam Shaadi ke pehle - laila majnoo Shaadi ke baad - dono majnoon Shaadi ke pehle - taj mahal Shaadi ke baad - sadak Shaadi ke pehle - tammana Shaadi ke baad - tamasha =========== Teacher: what is the meaning of 'TAMASOMA JYOTIRGAMAYA'? Student: TUM SO JAO MAA, MEIN JYOTI KE GHAR JA RAHA HOON =========== Buddhuram apne bete se bola: Bevakuf, kaisa machis leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti. Beta: Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu. ========== Doctor to Buddhuram: App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai? Buddhuram: Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.... ] ========= Koun si devi ka kounsa prasad India mein famous hai ... Rabridevi ka laloo prasad ====== Friend: Buddhuram, pehle kya aayegaa,- the chicken or the egg? Buddhuram: O yaar, jiska order pahele doongaa, wo aayega ! ====== American says "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.." Buddhuram " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!" ====== Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Mr.Buddhuram.. aap papa ban gaye.." Buddhuram - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use surprise doonga..!" ========= English Man : - Humare America mein War ho gaya hai Mohit: - Humare India mein to roz hi war hota hai English Man : - wo kaise? Mohit : - Somwar, Mangalwar, Budhwar.....!!! ========== Hum dua karte hain Khuda se, ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye..., Ek Cartoon jaisi cheez hai humare paas, kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye!! =========== Nazar jhuki to paimane bane, Dil toote to maikhane bane, kuch na kuch to zaroor hai aap mein, yunhi nahi hum aapke dewaane bane!!! =========== Har koi pyar ke liye tarapta hai, Har koi pyar ke liye rota hai, mere pyar ko galat mat samajna, pyar to dosti mein bhi hota hai. ========== Chaand ko garoor hai ki uske paas noor hai, to kya hua.... Mujhe bhi garoor hai ki mera Dost Langoor hai! ha ha ha ha!!!! ==========. . Har Karz dosti ka ada kon karega, Jab hum na rahe to dosti kon karega, ae khuda mere dosto ko salamat rakhna, Warna meri shaadi mein dance kon karega?? ======== Tu Chaand maange main Chaand de du, tu raat maange main raat de du, Tu dil maange main dil de du, Tu Jaan maange...... Abe bas Departmental Store samajh rakha hai kya??? ======= Dil ki hasrat zuba par aane lagi, tumko dekha aur zindgi muskurane lagi, Yeh dosti ki intehaa thi ya meri dewaangi, Har surat mein surat teri nazar aane lagi!! .======= Sataaoge humko rulaaoge humko, magar kis tarah bhula paaoge humko, Khuda jaane kya haal hoga tumahra, Jab gairo ki baaho mein paaoge humko ======. Woh gori hai uski zulfe hain kali, Wo Pari hai ya Pariyo ki Rani, Uski har baat hai nirali, Par kya karu yaaro? wo larki kisi aur ne paTaali! =====E N D ============== ======================= Aflatun shaayari ======================= Jab dekha unhone tirchhi nazar se, to hum madhosh ho gaye, Par jab pata chala ki unki nazare hi tirchhi hai, to hum behosh ho gaye... ==== Ab Jab ghire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi Bheega main, lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi Kyon na aaye teri yaad? Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai... ===== Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne Yahan likhna mana hai. ===== Unki gali ke chakkar kaat kaat kar, Kutte bhi hamare yaar ho gaye, Wo to hamare ho na sake, Hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye... ===== Na woh inkaar karti hai Na woh ikraar karti hai KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar Mere dost se pyaar karti hai. ==== Maine poocha chand se... Kabhi dekha hai mere yaar sa hasin..... Chand ne kaha , chandni ki kasam ... 12036 entries found! Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi, Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi, Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki, Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!! ===== E N D ========= muskurate raho,kasam hamari ! TUSI bade hi gr8 ho, RASGULLE ki pl8 ho, PEPSI ka cr8 ho, ANDE ka oml8 ho, E-mail KARNE ME bade le8 ho, JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho, KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...! *~*~*~*~*~* Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum... *~*~*~*~*~* Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain Tum bin hum bohat akele hain Sab kuch chod kar tumeh e-mail karte hain Dekho hum kitne vele hain * vele =free (vele is a Punjabi word) *~*~*~*~*~* Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii.... Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!! *~*~*~*~*~* Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai.. *~*~*~*~*~* Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi... *~*~*~*~*~* Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti, Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati shukar hai tum nahi ho!!! *~*~*~*~*~* Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya *~*~*~*~*~* Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum... ********** Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai.. ********* Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain, Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain:) ******** Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si, Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi, Bartan Lelo Bartan.... ********* Woh hamari gali me aaye... Woh hamari gali me aaye... Woh hamari gali me aaye... Aur chillake bole..... Paper Raddi wala !!!!! ******** Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de ********* jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai:) ******* Teray husn ki kya taarif karoo, tera bander jaisa hai moo Teri zulfo ki kya taarif karoo, teray ek ek baal pe hai joo ******** Hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per Sadqey jaoon tumhari patli kamar per =====E N D ====== ================== Funny Love Letter ================== Dear Mery Sapno ki Rani, KYA KEHNA the first time I saw you, I asked my self HUM APKE HAIN KAUN, I Feeling that KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI so I decided to Forward you a PUKAR From DIL SE. I thought that by the way HUM TO MOHABBAT KAREGA So with my DIL TO PAGAL HAI, I dream to be Your HERO No.1 And Iíll make you my BIWI No.1. You Might think that I am fooling you as BADAL But remember JHOOT BOLE KAWA KATE. Please JANAM SAMJA KARO That PYAAR KOHI KHEL NAHIN and I admit that DIL DE CHUKE SANAM I trust AAP MERE HAI SANAM. I believe that HUM APP KE DIL MEIN REHTE HAIN For HAMESHA. Remember JAB PYAR KISSI SE HOTA HAI Why not AA AB LAUT CHALEIN And you can come SAAJAN KI BAHON MEI. There is SIRF TUM in my life. If you say YES BOSS, Then I will become your JORU KA GULAM. Donít worry be happy, DHOLI SAJA KE RAKHNA Because DIL WALE DULHANIYA LE JAYENGE. KAHO NA PYAR HAI, MERE SANAM. Yours Truly, DEEWANA MASTANA ============ Software shayari ============ Abhi Abhi to Piyaar ka PC kiya Hai Chaloo Apne dil ke HARD DISC pe aur kitni FILES daaloo? ------ Apne chehare se ruswaai ki ERROR to hatao Ai jaaneman apne dil ka PASSWORD to batao. ------- Woh to hum hai jo aap ki chahat dil main rakhate hai Warna aap jaise kitne SOFTWARES to bazaar main bikte hai. ------- Roz raat aap mere sapne main aate ho Mere pyar ka MOUSE ungaliyon pe nachate ho. -------- Aur Ab Hum Se Kitna Kervahogi tum Intezaar? Hamaare dil ki SITE pe kabhi ENTER to maro yaar. --------- Apne insult ka badalaa dekho kaise loonga? Tere baap ko Ctrl+Alt+Delete kar doonga. --------- Aap jaiso ke liye dil ko CUT kiya karte hai baaki cases main COPY PASTE karte hain. --------- samne hain itne sample, hamein bhi pick karo. hamare pyar ke ICON pe kabhi to click karo. --------- ====================== ====================== Baldevsingh joined army and was given a gun. "Sir, iski nali samne rakhun ki ulti?" Major said, "Kisi bhi taraf rakh le re, fayda desh ka hi hoga...! ======================= ======================== 1 - Savan Aate hi, Murjaye Huwe Phool Bhi Khil JaTe Hai , SMS Free Kya Hue? Aap Jaise ghise tyre bhi ShaYaR Ban Jate Hai 2- Ankhiyon Se Ankhyian Mila Meri Rani, Teri Bayi Ankh Kani Meri Dayi Ankh Kani 3- Yu Toh Hum Hai bhaRamChaRi Jaha Dekhi Nari Waha Ankh Mari Pat Gayi To HumaRi Nahi To Fir Banke Brahmchari Next Ki Karte Hai TaiYaRi 4- Kash tum Waade Apne Nibha Jate, Kisi Surat Dil Mera Behla Jaate, Agar 10 Rupees Nahi The 5 Rupees Wala Chhota Coke Hi Pila Jaate 5- Mother -janati ho beti, kya maine rakhta hai "mangalsutra?" Daughter - Yes Mummy, vo to permit hai ajmao 'kam-sutra' 6- sabse jalad teen rastese communication Telephone, Television, aur fir a woman. =============================== =============================== Chandubhai:- Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye? Chunibhai:- Birla cement Chandubhai:- Kyun? Chunibhai:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain *************************************************** Chunibhai ATMse paise nikal rahethe to Chandubhaine peechhese bola: "maine tumhara * * * * password dekh liya " Chunibhai jorse hans paDe aur bole: "galat. mera password to hai 1357" *************************************************** ================== Before and After Marriage ================== Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya ? Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani Shaadi ke baad - Shaitaano Ki Naani ============================= ======================== har judaaee ek milan nayaa, har aa.nsu ek motee chamakataa; agar hRiday ho mukt raagase, booree khoTee, paavan har bhaavanaa. ======================== ======== H_ndu Musl_m S_kh Chr_st_ain Ja_n Pars_ see how we loose our un_ty when we forget "I" for indian ======== What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ......... Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai...... Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai ======= Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just won the 10 Million lotto. Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ? Man : Who cares ? Just pack and get lost ! ======================= Kyon chalti hai pawan, Because of evaporation. Kyon jhoome hai gagan, Because of earth's revolution. Kyon machalta hai mann, Because of excessive respiration. Na tum jaano na hum............ Kyon aati hai bahaar, Because of a change in season, Kyon lutata hai karaar, Because of mental tension. Kyon hota hai pyaar, Because of opposites attraction. Na tum jaano na hum.......... Kyon gum hai har disha, Because you have a poor sense of direction. Kyon hota hai nasha, Because of drug addiction. ================== Jane kyuuu ?? Jaane Kyon Log Kaam Karte Hai Jaane Kyon Woh Office Mein Marte Hai Jaane Kyon Log Kaam Karte Hai Jaane Kyon Woh Office Mein Marte Hai Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Kaam Mein sochiye to bas gum hai Kaam Mein Jo zulam Ho Woh Kam Hai Kaam par Sar Jhukana Padta Hai Dukh hoke muskurana padta hai Zehar kyon zindagi mein bharte hai Jaane Kyon Log Kaam Karte Hai Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Kaam bin jeeeeneee mein rakha kya hai Kaam jisko nahinnn woh kad-ka hai Kaam bin jeene mein rakha kya hai Kaam jisko nahin woh kadka hai Kaam sau ki note laata hai Kaam hi pet bhar khilata hai Log mar mar ke kaam karte hai Jaane kyon khush rehte darte hai Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Kaam ek badi musibat hai Kaam har kisi ki zaroorat hai Hoooo kaam pe yeh jhooth hai sachche Arre kaam pe sab jhooth hai achche Hoooo aage kya khak log badhte hai Ek hi post par woh sadte hai Jaane Kyooon.. Kaam toh aise hi sab karte hai Jaane kyon aap hi bigadte hai Jaaane Kyooooon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Jaane Kyon Dont wory yar ... mai hu na ====================


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