"Be Careful What You Ask For ..."

Vered

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"Scully, am I ugly?"

The petite woman's head bolted upright. "Huh?"

"Am I ugly, Scully?"

"Mulder," she gave him a sideways glance, "are you alright?" she wondered.

"I'm fine, Scully," he sighed. "Anyway, why do you have to answer my questions with questions?"

"What?"

"You see?" he told her.

"Mulder, what do you want from me?" She really didn't have time for his strange queries right now, with the pile of papers staring at her from the desk.

"Am I ugly, Scully?"

She sighed. "You're not. OK?" She returned to the file she was engrossed in.

"That's it? That's all you can say?" he said with disappointment.

Scully sighed again, closed the file she was holding and turned to face her partner. "Alright Mulder, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he paused iIt's just ... well ... you never say anything about the way I look or about my clothes. I began feeling I might just look terrible to you," he said a little more quiet than usual.

"Mulder you're a very good looking man, and most of the times you dress fine."

"Thanks Scully," he stopped talking and stared at some distant point in the office wall. "Scully, why do I have to ask you to tell me such things?"

"Mulder, maybe you should go home. I don't think your head is in this case." She was beginning to feel slightly annoyed, or maybe she was a bit anxious. She still couldn't pin-point the feeling.

"You are not answering my question" he said.

"Mulder, I don't have to answer your questions, and anyway, you've asked enough for one day. Either you let me work, or go home." *Now* she was annoyed. She turned quickly back to her desk, grabbed the file she was working on and opened it in the middle. She couldn't find the place she had been reading before, and her mind was beginning to feel a little blurry. she ordered herself.

"God, you really go out of your way to avoid answering me," he commented.

< I am _not_ going to answer him! > she told herself, and tried to focus on the file she was reading.

"Fine," he said, "don't talk to me," he continued, rather miserably.

she couldn't bear it when he talked in that tone of voice. Rolling her eyes she got up from her chair and walked the few steps to his desk. She then leaned on it and looked down at him. "OK, I'm listening."

He smiled at her. "Alright, now you tell me why you never tell me that I am wearing something nice, or that I look exceptionally good today?"

She glared at him. "Well, when you really put it that way, you never say anything of that kind to me either." She gave him a challenging look.

He stared back at her "You're right" he admitted.

"Well?" She looked at him expectantly.

"Well, what?" He acted as if he didn't know what she was getting at.

"Well, what do you think about me?" she asked. < I can't believe I just asked him that! >

"Oh, that." He behaved as if he was realizing this for the first time. "You look great, Scully ... " He paused. " ... Except for ... " He broke off. "Oh, never mind. You look just fine," he said quickly, then immediately tried to immerse himself in whatever he could put his hands on.

"Except for what, Mulder?" Scully said, suspiciously.

"Nothing," he tried to shake her off.

"Mulder, don't do this to me!" she cried out, exasperated.

He sighed. "Scully you look great, but ... well ..." He looked at her. " ... I don't like your nose," he finally spilled the beans.

Scully almost choked on Mulder's last sentence "My nose?!" she blurted. Mulder shrugged with his back to her.

"Oh no," she put her hand on his shoulder and turned him around forcefully. "You are not going to get out of this one that easily!" she told him, her tone meaning business.

"Scully, you asked for my opinion, well that is my opinion. Would you have preferred it if I had lied to you?" he asked innocently.

Once again she glared at him "Don't give me that 'innocent boy' look! I know you Mulder," she admonished him.

"Scully, that's the truth. I don't like your nose, and ..." he stopped in mid-sentence.

Scully couldn't believe this was happening "My nose and ... what?" But she knew she was going to regret asking this.

"Scully, I think it's better that we leave this subject as it is. Anyway, we have plenty of work to do." He swiveled his chair and turned to face the desk again.

"Oh, so now we have a lot of work!" She was mad. "Agent Mulder, you began with this discussion, and you might as well finish what you started" She was not going to let him off the hook that easily.

His back was turned to her as he spoke. "I don't think you would like to hear what I have to say."

"I _know_ I'm not going to like it, but if you won't say it I swear to you, you will not get one moment's worth of peace and quiet from me!" Her green eyes blazed with rage.

"God, you are stubborn," he told her as he turned to face her for the umpteenth time.

"Oh, I had a good teacher," she retorted.

"I think you are slightly overreacting, Scully."

"Mulder, _tell_ me what else you found wrong with me, or else!" She gritted her teeth and sent him a piercing glare.

"Well, when you put it that way ... I don't think your legs are really something/" He stared directly at her face.

Scully felt like a volcano about to explode. "My legs?!" she cried out.

"Well, yes," Mulder said.

"OK, so I've got a problem with my nose and legs, that's all?" she asked. she yelled in her mind.

"Mm-hm," Mulder said and turned back to his desk.

"Well, for your information *mister*, I don't think you look that great with your shirt off."

"Really?" He sounded worried.

"Yeah!"

"But ... " He broke off.

"But ... what?"

"You said I am a good looking man." His voice sounded hopeless.

"You are, just that you're a little too thin--"

"Too thin?!" he yelled. "Scully!"

"Well, yeah," she said, a little shyness tingeing her voice.

Mulder opened his mouth to reply when a knock sounded at the door. The two agents gave each other a look of surprise and swiftly scurried back to their work.

"Come in," they both cried out in unison.

A lean bald guy entered their office.

"Assistant Director Skinner," Mulder said with surprise.

"Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, I heard yelling from your office as I passed by." He looked around suspiciously. "Is everything alright?"

Scully almost choked. "Sure, everything's just great," and then she slapped herself inwardly.

Skinner turned to Mulder. "Is it, Agent Mulder?"

Mulder seemed to flinch in his chair. "Yeah, sure, great," he managed to blurt out.

Suddenly both agents burst out with a tirade of questions "Mulder thinks my nose is--" "Scully thinks I'm too th--" "Are my legs--" "Do I look ugly with my shirt o--" "Am I ug--"

"QUIET!!!" Skinner bellowed.

Scully felt her heart pounding. She gave Mulder a sideways glance she wondered. She looked at Skinner's angry face.

Skinner gave Scully a look-over, then Mulder. Finally he spoke. "You're both right."

Both Mulder's and Scully's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "What?!" they cried out.

Skinner heaved a deep breath. "Agent Scully, I don't think your legs and nose are really something, and agent Mulder you _are_ too thin, and I really don't care for how you look with your shirt off. Now, that this has been settled, I expect you to give me a full report of this incident tomorrow morning, 8:00 sharp! And I think it's about time that you spent some more time in _your_ office, Agent Scully." With that said, AD Skinner turned around and left the room, leaving behind two open-mouthed agents.

Finally Scully got over her initial shock. "That's a fine mess you've gotten us into, Mulder."

"But Scully ..."

"Shut up, Mulder!"

END