Opening Sequence:

(A man sits at a desk reading a copy of the script to "The Simpsons," episode 5F02. The nameplate on the desk reads "Fox Censor." He takes a black marker to the pages.)

Censor: No.

(He crosses something out.)

Censor: No.

(He crosses something else out.)

Censor: No.

(He crosses something else out. He reads part of the script and starts laughing. Then he crosses something else out.)

Censor: No.

(He turns the page, sees something, and crosses it out.)

Censor: I think we can do without the crack pipe. Oh, hi. As the Fox censor, it's my job to protect you from reality. And thanks to my prudent editing, tonight's special Halloween show has been rated TV-G.

(A TV-G logo appears in the upper left-hand corner of the screen.)

Censor: This means there willbe no rauchy NBC-style sex, or senseless CBS-style violence. So sit back and enjoy a worry-free--

(An arm with a sword appears out of the TV-G logo. It stabs the censor in the back. The TV-G turns to TV-PG.)

Censor: What the fudge?

(It stabs the censor again and turns to TV-14.)

Censor: Oh. for Pete's sake!

(It stabs the censor in the back again and turns to TV-MA.)

Censor: Jiminy Christmas!

(It stabs him again and turns to TV-21. It stabs him again and turns to TV-666. The censor collapses on his desk, awash in blood.)

Censor:Darn it.

The Homega Man

France threatens massive reataliation against Springfield unless Mayor Quimby takes back an ethnic slur agianst its people. When Quimby refuses, the Simpson family urges Homer to purchase a bomb shelter. While Homer looks over a shelter for sale, a French neutron bomb hits Sprigfield. When Homer exits the shelter, he discovers Springfield has been decimated. Homer quickly gets over his grief and, as the last person alive in Springfield, decides to do as he pleases. Accosted by horribly mutated Springfieldians trying to kill him, Homer escapes, arriving back at the Simpson house. There he finds his family alive and well, having been protected by the house's many layers of lead paint. Witnessing the Simpsons' tender reunion, the mutants decide to pursue peace with the Simpsons. In turn, the Simpsons blast them with shotguns.

Fly vs. Fly

Homer buys a matter transporter at Professor Frink's yard sale. Bart uses it to combine his DNA with a fly's, hoping to become a superhero. Instead, he and the fly merely switch heads. Afraid of being punished, Bart flies away, leaving his fly-headed body with his family. The family accepts Fly-Headed Bart. When Lisa finds out that Bart's head (and mind) is on the fly's body, she's about to try to set things right when Fly-Headed Bart attacks her. When Fly-Headed Bart tries to eat Bart-Headed Fly, Lisa pushes him into the transporter, changing Bart back to normal. Homer in turn chases him throughout the house with an ax for using his machine without permission.

Easy Bake Coven

The year is 1649. Springfield is a puritanical society, bent on purging the spector of witchcraft from its homes. There are weekly burnings of those suspected of being witches, and at a town meeting, Marge is accused. When the town shoves her off the cliff, Marge reveals herself to truly be a witch. Marge and her witch sisters, Selma and Patty, go into the village to eat the townspeople's children. Goody Flanders, desperate to save her kids, offers them gingerbread children instead, and the witches take them. The rest of the town also offers treats in place of their kids to the witches--starting the Halloween custom.