Bubba

Bubba died in a fire and was burned pretty bad. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer,were called for.
Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl looked and said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over."
So the mortician rolled him over and Daryl looked and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thought that was rather strange and he was pretty sure of the body's identity.
Gomer was then brought in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
"What? He had two assholes?" asked the mortician.
"Yup, everyone knew about it too. Every time we went to town, folks would say, "Here comes Bubba with them two assholes."

Highly Illogical

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-whacker?"
"I sure do," answered the redneck.
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.
The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."
Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZING!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why, that's the most fascinating thing I ever heard of! I can't wait to take this here logic class."
 Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter waswaiting.
"So, what classes are ya takin?" he asks.
"Math, history and logic," replies Bubba.
Cooter asks, "What is 'is logic?"
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"
"No."
"You're a queer, ain't ya?"