Rednecks At Work

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"TODAY'S WORK SCHEDULE"

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!

" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."
Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."
So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"
Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"

Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix." So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"
Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it ?!"

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Wood Cutters

Two pulp wood cutters decided to give up cutting pulp wood for a living and go to the big city to seek another line of work. They sold their pulp wood truck and their saw, caught a plane to New York.
When they arrived at New York, one of the men said "We got to start somewhere so I think I'll ask for a job here."
The other man said "We don't know nothing about no airport."
But the man went inside and ask for the manager. "I want a job."
"Well what is it you do?" the manager asked.
"I'm a pilot," came the reply.
"Well we need good pilots, you can start tomorrow," said the manager.
The pulp wood cutter went back outside to join his friend. a href="http://www.clarktrain.com">
"Hey, I got me a job, go see if you can get you one!"
The other pulp wood cutter went to see the manager and asked for a job.
The manager asked, "What is it you do?"
"I'm a pulp wood cutter," came the reply. Clark University CCI Massachusetts
"A pulp wood cutter!"
"This is New York City! We don't even have trees! I can't use a pulp wood cutter."
"You gave my buddy a job," pointing out the window at his friend.
"Hey, your buddy is a pilot," the manager explained.
"Hell, he can't pile it until I cut it!" came the reply.

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