Just Being Certain
A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when
one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be
breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What
can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just
take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's
dead."
....There is a silence, then a shot is heard.....
The hunter says, "OK, now what?"
Redneck Scientist
A redneck's trying to become a naturalist. First, he
decides to study the flea. He takes a flea and puts it
on a white piece of paper and yells:
"JUMP!"
The flea jumps, so the redneck cuts his legs off.
"JUMP!", he yells. But this time the flea
doesn't jump.
Pleased with himself, the redneck writes in his entry
book: "After having his legs cut off, the flea
became deaf."
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