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Ozark Style?
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Southwest MO is planning to do its own, entitled "Survivor: Ozark Style."
The contestants will start in Springfield, travel up to Clinton and on to Harrisonville. From there they will head down to Joplin and over to Monett. They will then
proceed down to Ft. Smith and Little Rock. Then back up through Van Buren, to Fayetteville over to
Sparta, Ozark, Nixa and back to Springfield.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with New Jersey license plates
and large bumper stickers that read: . I'm a Vegetarian ... NASCAR Sucks ..
Go Yankees ... Smoking is for Idiots .... Hillary in 2004 ... Deer Hunting is Murder
... or ... I'm Here to Confiscate Your Guns!
The first one to make it back to Springfield ALIVE, wins.'
You Might Be...You might be a redneck if....you think the last words of the ''Star Spangled Banner'' are ''Gentlemen! Start your engines!''
Q: What does a 12 year old hillbilly girl say when she's losing her virginity? A: "Get off me, dad! You're crushing my cigarettes!" Q: What has 99 legs & 49 teeth? A: The front row at a Willie Nelson concert. Q. How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? A. Had it been invented elsewhere, it would have been called a "teethbrush." Q: What is the definition of a hillbilly virgin? A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers. Q: What's the difference between trash and white trash? A: Absolutely nothing. They both drive around in dump trucks, smell like shit, and get more and more rotten each day. Country Western SingersHow many country/western singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?Five. One to take out the old one and four to sing about how much they are going to miss it. |
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