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Wisconsin WomenThree men were traveling and happened to meet at bar in Ohio. One man was from Texas, one from Florida and one from Wisconsin They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.The guy from Texas began by saying "I told my wife clearly that from now on she would have to do all of the cooking. Well, the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing, but on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, and a wonderful dinner was prepared with wine and even dessert." Then the man from Florida spoke up "I sat my wife down and told her that from now on she would have to do all the grocery shopping and all of the house cleaning. The first day I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But the third day, when I came home, the whole house was spotless, and in the pantry the shelves were filled with groceries." The fellow from Wisconsin was married to a woman who had grown up in Wisconsin all her life. He sat up straight on the bar stool, pushed out his chest and said. "I gave my wife a stern look and told her that from now on she would have to do the cooking, shopping and house cleaning. Well, the first day I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But by the third day, I could see a little bit out of my left eye." Ya Gotta Love them Wisconsin Women! You Might Be...You might be a redneck if....you think the last words of the ''Star Spangled Banner'' are ''Gentlemen! Start your engines!''
How Cold Is It?How cold does it have to be?60 above Arizonans wear coats, gloves and woolly hats. Wisconsin people sunbathe. 50 above New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Wisconsin people plant gardens. 40 above Italian cars won't start. Wisconsin people drive with the windows down. 32 above Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker. 20 above Arizonans shiver uncontrollably. Wisconsin people have the last cookout before it gets cold. 15 above New York landlords finally turn on the heat. Wisconsin people throw on a sweatshirt. 0 - Californians fly away to Mexico. Wisconsin people lick a flagpole. 20 below People in Miami cease to exist. Wisconsin people get out their winter coats. 40 below Hollywood disintegrates. Wisconsin's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door. 60 below Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Wisconsin's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough. 80 below Mt. St. Helen's freezes. Wisconsin people rent some videos. 100 below Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Wisconsin people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg. 297 below Microbial life survives on dairy products. Wisconsin cows complain of farmers with cold hands. 460 below ALL atomic motion stops. Wisconsin people start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?" 500 below Hell freezes over. The Chicago Bears win the Super Bowl |
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