Cordelia: Do you know what you need, Xander, besides a year's supply of
acne cream? A brain.
Xander: That's it! Twelve years of you and I'm snappin'! I don't care if you're a girl or not, I'm throwin' down! Come on!
Cordelia: I've seen you fight. And don't think I can't take you!
Xander: Give it your best shot.
Willow: HEY! We don't have time for this! Our friends are in trouble! Now, we have to put our heads together and, and get them out of it! And if you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIBRARY!
Cordelia: I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a
ride? What am I, mass transportation?
Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.
Cordelia: Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi and your punching bag.
Xander: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way.
***What´s My Line 1***
Xander: You know what? This would work a lot better for me if you
Cordelia: Well, it'd work a lot better for me with the lights off.
Xander: Are you saying that you can't look at me when we do... whatever it is we do?
Cordelia: No, it's not that I can't, it's just more... I don't want to.
Xander: That's great! That's just dandy! We're repulsed by each other, we hide from our friends...
Cordelia: Well, I should hope so! Please!
Xander: All in all this is not what I'd call a big self-esteem booster.
Cordelia: Tell me about it! Just look at you! And those clothes. Where did you get those shoes?!
Xander: Okay, you know what? I don't need this.
Cordelia: Ditto! Like a hole in the head!
Cordelia: Well, I think we should look around, don't you Xander?
Xander: It can wait.
Cordelia: Well, his body could fall out of a closet somewhere.
Cordelia: So we should check some closets to see if he's in a closet?
Xander: You're right. There could be a closet. Let's go.
Cordelia: I think it's great to do that before you go out and fail in
the real world. That way you're not falling back on something. You're
falling... well, forward.
Xander: And almost sixty-five percent of that was actual compliment. Is that a personal best?
Cordelia: Gee, Xander, what are you gonna teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser-being?
Xander: I will teach...zee Language of Love!
Cordelia: Don't touch me! You have fish hands!
Xander: Come, let me caress you!
Cordelia: I'm doing this for Buffy's sake. This has nothing to do with
Xander: Yeah, like I needed that cleared up. (finds a hiding place) Go away. This is my hiding spot.
Cordelia: Where do I hide?
Xander: You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity.
Cordelia: What's the plan?
Xander: The vampire attacks you.
Cordelia: And then what?
Xander: The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice.
Cordelia: Everything's a joke with you.
Xander: No, just our relationship.
Cordelia: What relationship?
Xander: Oh, that's right, I forgot. We actually want to bury that piece of the past, don't we?
Buffy: Did Giles say he was going to be late?
Xander: Uh, he was Library Man last time I saw him. But he'll be here. He wants to celebrate your homecoming. We all do. I mean, it's great to have the Buffster back.
Xander: Isn't it?
Cordelia: Except you were kinda turning me on with that whole Boy Slayer look.
Xander: Was I now?
Cordelia: You bet, Nighthawk.
***Dead Man´s Party***
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