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The Scarlet Grimoire: Pagan Humour

Quote of the Week:
In case of Rapture, can I have your car?

Welcome to The Scarlet Grimoire: Pagan Humour!
Devoted to looking at the lighter side of things, please send in personal experiences, humourous tales, poems, mistakes, and accidents. Everything is welcome!
New stuff usually is at the bottom of the page, and if you are offended by any of the content here, well, you don't know where I live, so HA! Most of it is pagans making fun of pagans, but there's lots of other religions that are made fun of as well, so no one feels left out. Please remember this is all in fun:)
Send submissions to the email address at the bottom of the page.

The Guide to Modern Pagans It's the classic.
Author Unknown

Things I've Learned From Practicing Wicca The notes of a fumbling pagan.
By: Semjaza

WitchCraft Gone Wrong Screwy mistakes on the way to spiritual enlightenment.
By: Le Chat de la Lune

Shit Happens In various pagan sects.
By: Keitha (FireWind)

Guide to Craft Names I think we needed one of these.
By: Lady Pixie Moondrip

So Sorry. . . A rant on discrimination:)
By: Andromeda Valentine

A Short Guide to Comparative Religions Shit happens again.
Off the Looking Deeper site

Top 10 Ways to Annoy a Pagan See title
Author Unknown

A Letter Perhaps sent home by a grade 3 teacher to pagan parents.
By: Ld Obyron Irondrake

The 'Other Tarot' We can't take ourselves too seriously.
Author Unknown

Before the Pearly Gates A pagan in hell.
By: Pendragon

Your Neighbour is a Witch if... How to tell...
By: Andie Gilmore

You're a Witch if... For those who don't already know.
From the Purple Pentacle site.

How to be an Evil Cultist Useful advice...
By: The Discordians

Kissing Hank's Ass Door-to-door style.
Author Unknown

Can I Ask You a Question? Top 10 Q&As.
By: Taliesin Athor Govannon

The Chocolate Ritual Delicious AND tasteful... (sorry)
Author Unknown

What Would Your Deity Do? WWJD? pagan style.
Author Unknown

The Caffeine Prayer Caffeine is my shepherd...
Author Unknown

You Might Be Giving Pagans a Bad Name If... Self-explanatory... (sp?)
Author Unknown

Prints in the Sand Of various types.
Author Unknown and Carl Muckenhoupt

The Wiccan - Pagan - Druid Song Nifty, but some of the jokes were before my time. Sigh.
Members of the Morning Star Coven

Zen Moments This amused me.
Author Unknown

Blissed Out And no, it's not the good kind of bliss.
Author Unknown

Lady Martha Stewart's Beltane Planner I now believe there is such thing as Satan.
Author Unknown

Feline Butterology Theory UFOs explained.
Author Unknown

Various Threesomes *cackles*
Various Unknown Authors

A Cat's Journal Cats are evil. Here's why...
Anonymous Pissed-off Kitty (or Usenet Oracle)

Astral Advertising Gods forbid.
By: Fra. Preposterous

Anti-Santa Theory Trying to think of a comment but it's late and I'm tired, dammit.
By: Some Cal-poly engineer perhaps?

Circle Etiquette Oops...
Author Unknown

Chocolate Charges These people are intense. *shivers*
By: A bunch of chocolate obsessed freaks.

Coven Pecking Order Yep, it's true.
Author Unknown


This site was created and is copyrighted by me, Semjaza, 2002, 2003. The look and feel of this site is copyrighted, and all content is copyrighted by its respective authors. Most of this stuff I've found at various places on the net (and then stole), so if you see something that you've written and want credit for, please email me. Also, if you are an author and have a website, please tell me and I'll add a link. And if you decide to sue me, save your time: All you'll get is some Canadian Tire money, a library card, and perhaps some funky gothic candle-holders. It's all I have.

Last Update: Aug. 25, 03, new links up.
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