I was having an out of body experience one day so
I grounded myself and got centered with the help of
my spirit guides and almost astral traveled anyway,
but the phone rang. I sensed the negative vibrations
so I threw the I-Ching and checked my numerology
chart and nearly had a primal, but my energy was too blocked,
so I did some bioenergetics and self parenting,
took some flower essence and ate an organic oat bran
ginseng muffin, but my inner child wasn't feeling nurtured
yet so I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie too, but that made
me hyper so I did the relaxation response while listening
to my subliminal tapes, but I was feeling depersonalized
so I did some polarity work, foot reflexology and past life regression, then rebirthed myself and called Moon Beam,
the bodyworker, to make an appointment for a Shiatsu,
Reike, Rolfing, Feldenkreis, Swedish, Japanese
deep tissue massage, but she flaked out and never returned
my call, so I decided to energize my crystals
and do some positive imagery because all my visualization techniques and affirmations made my space feel invaded,
so to get empowered, I got a psychic reading from Mother HeartLove around the issue of my assertiveness so I
could feel my radiance and have some energy for my psycho-calisthenics and inversion swing before my
harmonic brain-wave synergy session, which made me
more focused for my actualization seminar, holistic healing
class and dreamworkshop, so I'd be more clear
for my Gestalt behavioral cognitive transpersonal Rechian Jungian Freudian Ericksonian session at the hot springs
but my aura was weak for my trance-channeling group
so I fasted until noon to recharge my chakras and I sensed
my intuition was high and my cycle was focused, so I turned
on my ion generator to open up for my neural-linguistic programming session, but I needed to have my pyramid recharged before my guided synchronicity
meditation, so I got some cranio-sacral therapy,
which aligned me for the fire walk, which was between my
tarot card reading and my sensory
deprivation tank appointment, but after all that I felt what
I truly needed was a meaningful relationship to mirror
myself so I went to my personal shaman, and then to my
guru, but they were no help, so instead I went to the Intensive Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop
to find someone who really knew what was going on,
but that didn't work either, so I locked myself
in a calcium coated Orgone Box and went to sleep
so I could get it in the dream state.
-- Author unknown, or just too blissed to mention their name ...