1."Of course its evil, kill it"
2."It can't talk to us like that!"
3."What do you mean, how many hit points do I have?"
4."No really. I can do this."
5."I open the coffin...SLOWLY"
6."I dunno what a tarrasque is, but it can't be TOO tough."
7."What do you mean, the dragon woke up?"
8."I'll steal the 20+ level mage's pouch."
9."What the hell, there's six of us and only 5 demons."
10."A wish? Okay, genie, make me a ham sandwich."
11."YO! Grendel! Your momma wears combat boots!"
12."What do you mean you woke the dragon up?"
13."Wait! What's the deathspell do?"
14."I'll never surrender."
15."It was a joke."
16."Hey guys, where are you?"
17."I will mix the potion and drink."
18."Featherfall! I mean, fearerrrr...."
19."Tell me this is an illusion."
20."What do mean my spell expired."
21."I'll cast Fireball."
22."Let's go in."
23."I'll follow them."
24."I'll stab the dragon and tell it to get off me."
25."I'll kill it."
26."No problem."
27."Whaddya mean, a pentagram only has Five sides?"
28."Let me handle this."
29."I thought you brought food!"
30."Trust me."
31."I never get lost."
33."He hit me for HOW MUCH???"
34."They're only kobolds!"
35."Hey, this chest just bite me!"
36."I didn't find any traps!!"
37."Wonder what this button does?"
38."Don't worry, he's probably just first level."
39."What's your alignment?"
40."My characther WANTS to go out in a blaze of glory. I can arrange that."
41."I'll just walk up to the dragon invisibly"
42."This type of undead can't drain levels"
43."I open the door, sneak up on him from behind and backstab him!"
44."We're in luck! The dragon is sleeping"
45."The DM's is a idiot."
46."We'll untie the prisoners and lock them in the closet."
47."Don't worry, wyverns don't attack usless they're provoked."
48."It was only the wind."
49."A Nighmare, huh? I'll attack for one round and prepare
to run."
50."I'll take off my armor so I'm silent and slip past the dragon."
51."I throw a rock at the eight legged-lizard to get it's attention."
52."Who the bitch with the spiders?"
53."We killed all mosters on this level."
54."I'll scout ahead."
55."My first arrow MISSED the magic-user and is pointing at me? OK, I shoot again!"
56."Where'd that thief go now?"
57."Hey guys...wait up."
58."Traps? What trap?"
59."So What?"
60."Ya know, since our druid's been obnoxious, it would probably serve him right if set his precious forest on fire."
61."A creature with two BABOON heads on a scaly REPTILIAN body? With "TENTACLES for arms? Humm.
Must be some stupid wizard's magical construct. Let's kill it."
62."Oops, I spilled flaming oil on my beard. I'd better
wash it off after we kill this fire lizard."
63."Well, we know he's LAWFUL evil, so he should keep his word when he promised not to betray us."
64."Thank God!! A hobgoblin camp up ahead! Maybe they can help heal our wounds!"
65."Well, I trust our party thief, and if he says this door isn't trapped, that's good enough for me.
66."Me first. Me first."
67."Oops, sorry...didn't mean to disturb you."
68."Come on, we haven't found any traps so far."
69."Let's walk this way."
70."You mean they get to use the critical hit chart too?"
71."Hey, I know a dragon when I see one."
72."What do you mean the whole room we're in detects as a trap?"
73."Hey you! Frost Giant! How's the weather up there?"
74."I know an illusion when I see one."
75."Lightning bolts don't ricochet off stone walls, do they?"
76."So what if he calls the guard? A backwater town like this can't have a very big militia.
77."What do you mean, 'Your wand ran out of charges'?"
78."Oh this I fought before"
79."He looks like a sunburnt elf?"
80."All that noise we heard and there's only one drow here?"
81."I can't possibly miss..."
82."I go through the door..Wait, I check for the traps!"
83."Don't be silly. That kind of monster NEVER follows you."
84."Is this one really able to breath fire?"
85."Come on, EVERY evil wizard's tomb has a way out!"
86."It can't be a beholder, we're only first level!"
87."It's a illusion. No spell can reshape the side of mountain like that. I disbelieve and walk off the 500
cliff."
88."He's only an ordinary 15th level magic user."
89."How was I to know that the orc would tell the truth
about us not wanting to come in here!"
90."What do you mean, 'Green slime ain't always green.'?"
91."Just watch, I bet I get the one item that's cursed."
92."No problem, That's easy!"
93."Hah! I'm not dead yet. I still have five hit points."
94."I don't care. I have a ring of Regeneration."
95."Yeah, I know it's dangerous, but think of the exprience points."
96."I stand right underneath the Fire Giant and point my wand straight up."
97."I wonder what's in here?"
98."Just because you're a dragon dosen't mean you can
push ME around."
99."What do you mean trolls regenerate!?!"
100."Here kitty, kitty, kitty,..."
101."I'll open it."
102."Those noises are probably nothing."
103."I'll pull the lever."
104."Magic is for whimps."
105"Oh. He'll miss. Just look at my AC."
106."AGAIN!?!?!"
107."I'll use the taunt skill."
108."Your mother was a Gully Dwarf."
109."My God will protect me."
110."You don't look like a mage!"
111."It'd be stupid to trap this!"
112."{To Angry Red Dragon} Did anyone tell you you had 113.bad breath?"
114."I'll swim across."
115."I throw the rock into the dark cave."
116."Ok, the dragon asleep. You guys wait back here with bows and staff. Getafix and I will go up in front of it and cast light on it's eyes to blind him,
117."There's a company of 100 barbarians guarding the pass" "I don't think they want us to cross these mountains.""So what?"
118."It's only a naga."
119."I'm not going to waste spells on THEM!"
120."That's right, I'm going to polymorph into a pergrine falcon and attempt to land on the back of one of the 12 griffons flying above us."
121."I think we can take it down."
122."C'mon guys--he can't kill_all_of us!"
123."I use animal empathy to calm the charging Triceratops."
124."There's only three of them. Watch the one that looks like Death, though."
125."Hmm.. how do we know you are the REAL Angel of Death?"
126."Hey it's only a black dragon, a vampire, and a lich... and we've got a horn of bubbles!"
127."I sneak up to a Lich and pick its pockets."
128."This is a wimp dugeon."
129."If I were you, Demon, I would sit back down!"
130."That purple robe really clashes with your burning eyes...."
131."Bow to a Demon? Never!"
132."Elminster, you old man, I thought you where really mad for a minute."
133."What do you mean I turn into a bug?"
134."What do you mean my axe bounces off him? What's Stoneskin do anyway?"
135."C'mon guys...how bad could it be?"
136."C'mon guys ...it only a rumor, there's nothing here."
137."Ok, so there's a few more of them."
138."Did he say he had Plate Mail +5? I stop running and fight him!"
139."Hey, do you guys think that this might just be an illusio...{whack}"
140."We charge!"
141."Ahem," said the Dragon, killing the party."
142."And the mage draws her two handed sword."We're in trouble now."
143."I'd rather be eaten by a dragon." "That can be arrange."
144."Of course I'm a wizard, son. I've got a tall pointy hat!"
145."What're you going to do,"laughed the dragon, "arrest me for smoking?"
146."12 Death Knights? I close the door..."
147."But it's only a little red dragon."
148."C'mon Guys! Let show her who's boss!"
150."Can my sword talk to your axe?"
151."Dammit, this thing won't die!"
152."Dragon HORDE? I thought you said Dragon HOARD!"
153."Forget picking the lock, just kick the door down.
154."Go ahead I dare you"
155."Have I ever let you down before"
156."Heck, I could beat Eliminster ANYDAY!"
157."Heck, I could beat Drizzt blindfold ANYDAY!"
158."I didn't think*ANYTHING* did 40-400 points of damage...No seriously how much damage did I take?
159."If the bard starts singing '100 Bottles of Beer'again..."
160."Hey, Dragon - got a light?"
161."I don't see any archers..."
162."I lite the emergency candle. Why is it hissing?"
163."I never heard of a 'sword of party slaying.'"
164."I snap your staff in two..."
165."I want to challenge my God to a duel..."
166."Lolth, Schmolth-get Ms.Ugly outa my way!"
167."Lookit that li'l bunny sittin' on the stump"
168."No one ever died from it..."
169."Oh, don't be so paranoid..."
170."One skeleton? No problem..."
171."Stand back you wimps-I will kill it"
172."Those Orcs couldn't hit an elephant at thi..."
173."This looks like a safe place to camp."
174."Trust me! I'm a expert!"
175."We really didn't need a Cleric anyway."
176."We should have become farmers..."
177."What's the worst that town can do? Lynch us?"
178."You and what army?"
179."Vandalizing the wizard's guild"
180."Torturing a deity's favorite cleric"
181."That's ok the spikes broke his fall."
182."Death is merely a chance roll a new character."
183."Dragons aren't extinct, they've just learned to hide in books."
184."I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away."
185."Mages don't kill people! SPELLS kill people!"
186."When in doubt, FIREBALL!"
187."And the ultimate famous last word: "Oops."
Dragonlance Poems