(or something like
I keep on falling in and
out of love with you,
I never loved someone the way that I 'm lovin' you.
- from Alicia Keyes, Fallin', her album Songs in A Minor
Knight of Cups
surrounded by comfort.
Oh, and bliss, did I mention, bliss?
You do, literally, take my breath away.
Yet we managed to connect, after a near-miss.
So many similarities,
the mind reels.
Deep layers, to the fundamental core.
We have in common, the cave,
Our ultimate sanctuary, where we recharge.
My knight in shining tweed,
You've come to my rescue, every time.
The totally mutual caring for each other,
Is something I've never had simultaneously.
This is a wonderful gift.
My pessimism is speechless.
Never thought I'd feel this good,
This far down the road.
More stolen moments to
add to our collection;
more imagery, visionary and tactile to assimilate.
We cover such ground sporadically.
We share our lives, our beings,
sort of a connect the dots kind of acquaintance.
We let each other into
our hearts by degrees,
taking only what our minds can handle at the time.
But our hearts are left yearning for more.
So we make practical substitutions,
and camouflage the desires of our hearts
with erotic suggestions instead.
Out of our fear of being needy,
we have created an endless wanting,
to prove our independence from the other.
Sort of a one-up-man-ship of capability.
Mostly we haven't a clue of what we are doing.
Caution is our only defense,
in a case without prosecution;
in our imaginary courtroom,
we perform our dance of courtship.
Ebb and flow, to and fro,
give and take, accept and repel,
creating a friction to ignite a passion,
that is satisfying and unrelenting.
We are left breathless and spent,
awed by our own creation.
Whispering promises undefined,
which we'll later corral and harness,
to make it easier to handle.
The old wounds are still healing.
We explore the sore spots gingerly,
respectful of the mutual tenderness.
We have discovered a well of patience
within each of us, that comes on instinctively
whenever we accidentally probe the wounds.
We are solitary wanderers
in a barren land,
who meet at the occasional oasis along the way.
To quench our longing for companionship.
Each time we take away so much more than we expected,
fearful we have given/taken too much;
as we step back into our emptiness
feeling fuller somehow.
Your eyes compel me toward
Laughing and mischievous.
Dark and seriously bitter,
All the contradictions of your soul,
Laid bare with a glance.
Instant sparks, but hesitant
Tentative walks in the moonlight.
Sweet exploration in the sands,
Lost in the passion of reunification,
Time slows down as we speed up.
With your gentility and
You've invoked the powers within me
Lain dormant for so long.
The fires had been banked so low,
I thought them gone forever.
Have I told you lately
that I love you;
So clever as to become a litany
To hide the truth behind the words.
The truth is the truth and we can't change it,
No matter how hard we try;
We have laid bear our souls
In this short period of
We have cut through all the dialogue.
Yet we continue to feign ignorance,
Supposing the other is as oblivious as we
Of the obvious devotion
Etched so clearly in our eyes.
I see through your many
As you see through mine.
I am devoted to you, as you to me,
Beyond this time and this place;
As we have been before and yet to come;
If we don't screw this up.
Or have we created this
fantasy to justify our desire?
Are we like heroin to the other,
Addicted to emotions rather than the person?
An ideal fixation made real by sensual perfect fit;
Telepathic in the extreme,
Simplistically empathetic in nature?
Questions will always
But the quest will change as we progress
Through this maze we've created of our lives.
The old queries will lose meaning,
As the new become old news, 'til the next headline
Appears to distract us once again.
Love isn't something that's
It's just a feeling, an experience.
When you get it, you must let it go,
Must keep giving all you can.
True love is an energy,
That just flows right through you.
You can't hold on too tight,
Lest the flow become clogged.
Advising is easier than living.
Denial is the only barrier to knowledge;
Recognition of the worst fears,
Signals a reluctance to let go.
Acknowledgement of humanity,
Provides a path for both.