I'll see you in another
life now, baby,
I'll free you in my dreams,
But when I reach across the galaxy
I will miss your company.
-- Rickie Lee Jones, Company, from her album, Rickie Lee Jones.
A love to last, a love
Nurturing and able to quench
A thirst felt forever.
Must the dreamer awaken so soon?
The dream was so precious,
Reality is much too harsh,
An overwhelming sadness
threatens to engulf all that is left.
Swan turned back into ugly duckling.
Promises not kept or overlooked
"That's all that I got."
Advised to ask for wants,
Accused of being controlling
But just wanting more;
Behind the emptiness, the unresponsiveness,
Something tangible, something to hold on to,
Cling to in the dark of the night.
This weary traveler sees nothing but desert;
The emptiness is too vast,
A void left by a careless heart.
It's still not easy, trying
The pain I feel with thoughts of you.
Your silence so suddenly imposed,
So final, complete, makes one wonder
Did any of it really happen?
Or was I merely lost, carried away
In some self-imagined dream?
"Probably so!" the silence implores.
It wasn't real, merely gossamer glamour
Woven by fairies in the pale moonlight.
Such a sweet dream, I
will carry forever
In my heart, turned to ache and stone,
Cold and hard as steel, refusing to feel.
Downward glances afraid to connect
Mustn't show the pain, can't take pity
For a self-imposed impoverishment
It was only a dream, of my own making
After all, following the wrong steps
Dancing, obliviously, to a different music.
Mea culpa - I am to blame
(or something like it)