Me and Cinderella, put
it all together
We can drive it home, with one headlight.
- One Headlight, The Wallflowers from Bringing Down the Horse
Darkness and Light
Darkness and light coalesces
in one emotion
Wanting and trepidation are cohabiting
Within my restless spirit
The melting pot of new and used experiences are surfacing
Some long forgotten
The images are a confusing collage of images,
Spoken words, gestures;
All blending and blurring together
So instead of many scenes it appears as one
Repeated over and over
The images flash before my waking eye
A momentary distraction
During routine moments of the day
Forces are at work, trying to show me something
Something I can almost grasp, but my fingers close and it's gone
Quiet solitude, to commune
with the higher plane
Things are revealed in their time
Areas of the past are illuminated with new understanding
No, new eyes with which to see brutal truths
I'm not afraid anymore, I can embrace these truths
Why now and not before?
My heart beats faster as old fears are remembered
My breath quickens, but I can not turn away
If I can endure this, they will never haunt me again
I turn and face my demon, it's wearing my face
I almost falter now, the unexpected
I will myself to still, I will look this beast in the eye
Overwhelming emotions engulf me
I close my eyes and nearly swoon
Something has passed through me, I let it
And finally, I can breathe, I open my eyes
And nothing's there
But a piece of me is now whole
So many miles come and gone
and in between,
The warm gentle rain touches her face
Settles on her shoulders like a mantle of despair.
Her heart yearns for that which is not here,
But there, far away in another time and place.
Doubt creeps upon her, an unwelcome guest,
Robbing her soul of its buoyancy
Weighing her down on this earthly plane.
She recalls having wings like a bird,
Soaring up high, unfettered and free.
Now earth bound like some fallen angel
With a broken wing, healed now,
But stiff with unuse and too painful to try.
The elusive answer, the end to the quest,
Seemingly out of reach, all an illusion.
It's already there inside her
Longing for flight, sweet release.
Surrender is the only way,
She slowly spreads her illusionary wings
Woven of long forgotten dreams;
Shaking off the warm, soft rain,
Just to feel the gentle breeze stir the soul.
Her eyes penetrate the gloom to the stars.
As she prepares to take flight.
I have seen many things,
these Neptune Square days.
Serendipitously revealing layers, like an onion.
True love has found me, a couple of times;
Let me tell you now, I never want to love that way again.
Life throws curves and sudden
Learning how to roll with the punches
Is all that I've got, now that the nest is flying,
And not relying, anymore, on my hunches.
I'm looking forward to the
next situation that awaits
I find I'm open now, ready for the newest adventure.
I'm learning how let go of the things that hold me down,
Ready to fly now, seeking direction, unsure.
(or something like it)