The Home of Above Average Man and Emma Bunton
Mar 23, 2001: Last updated a LONG-A$$ freaking time ago. Totally out of date now. But, hey, why not keep it online.
Well, the page is still improving.
I'm going to keep the Emma stuff on, even though she retired.
Basically, because she the most drop-dead gorgeous babe on the
face of the earth, and I love to have her picture look at me
whenever I come to update. Emma may be coming out of retirement
for an Amazon Title run in the SWA, but she has some competition
as Utena may be taking her place as my lead female character. And
don't go asking why I don't just use Jenny as a
wrestler. That's such an annoying question.
Well, the page is still improving. I'm going to keep the Emma stuff on, even though she retired. Basically, because she the most drop-dead gorgeous babe on the face of the earth, and I love to have her picture look at me whenever I come to update. Emma may be coming out of retirement for an Amazon Title run in the SWA, but she has some competition as Utena may be taking her place as my lead female character. And don't go asking why I don't just use Jenny as a wrestler. That's such an annoying question.
In MVW news, congradulations to Joseph "Union Jack" on becoming the first ever MVW two-time World Heavyweight Champion. He's been busting ass longer and harder than anyone can imagine for this, and now he's finally pulled it off. And with The *snicker* Drug Cartel by his side, who knows what'll happen next.
Stage Name: Above Average Man
Real Name: Bryan Michael Barnes
Nick Name: C+
Hometown: Ottumwa, Iowa
Career Record: 42-2 (notice I fail to mention UXCW and don't count RPWL)
Weight: 170 lbs
Style: Not Hardcore. Not high risk. Mental wrestler. Lots of counters. Lots of mindgames.
Finisher: The Alluminum Claw (it's an Iron Claw like the Iron Sheik)
Trained by: Azreal, Chaimber, Selrack, and now, Titan Bahadur
Intro music: Misery by Soul Asylum (but notice that it's Run-Away Train playing in the background. Misery's midi file sucks. I have it. I'd kill for the MP3 though.) I may be changing it to Home by Deep Blue Something for the duration of my stay in GCW. Email me on your opinion, especially if you've heard both songs.
Strengths: C+ is very unpredictable. Not that he's crazy, but he's unlike anyone else I've seen in professional wrestling. He doesn't try to hide his faults, but instead ready shows them to his opponents. His approach towards wrestling is so abnormal that most people are caught off guard. Add to that the fact he is so pathetic that most can't help but pity him, and you end up with an opponent that's hard to beat.
Weaknesses: Suffered a broken neck in a match against Alien in GCW. It hurt. Bad. From there, he turned to alcoholism. He's a chain smoker, or at least was until recently. It's still pending as he tries to get his life together. His right knee has been blown out twice, although both times he finished the match with a win. He also has broken his sixth right rib. Because he could not afford hospitalization, the rib and knee have never healed correctly. He's taken 42 stitches in his head from various matches, and he's not even hardcore. Outside of the ring, his skills are very pending. Once placed into an atmosphere of foreign objects and no holds or counters, he is very out of his element. Although he held an Extreme Title, beating the Extreme Champion, he did it by keeping the man grounded and preventing the match from getting Hardcore. His insecurities have made him an obvious target for emotional abuse, and his ladyfriend Jenny takes up too much of his time. He is also not very trusting of his teammates due to the repeated stabbings he has suffered in the back.
Really bored? Wanna read more about "Above Average Man" Bryan Barnes than you wanted to know? Wanna see a sick, twisted, depressing side of my personality as a handler? Check out a few of my RPs.
Family Reunion RPs 1-3 (family, parents, Chris)
Me mocking Agent oo6 to get an OWF World Title shot.
Me mocking JayPac for it.
And again for Kremlin
And then for Kevin Nash and Rachael
And then for PlaYa
Last Man Standing RPs 1st 1/4 (Jenny, homelessness, alcoholism, friendship)
Last Man Standing RPs 2nd 1/4 (suicide, alcoholism, recovery, Jenny)
Last Man Standing RPs 3rd 1/4 (focus, love, opportunities, triumph)
Last Man Standing RPs 4th 1/4 (respect, hatred, truth, pasts revealed, a new day, victory, Jenny)
Titan's farewell (maturity, honor, integrity, loss)
Bryan's Last RP ever (pride, fear, defeat, Jenny)
The fed: UIW
The look: Green body suit. Short hair. Clean shaven. Nice guy.
The attitude: A bit angry over some personal comments made by Extreme Icon about my brother. Other than that, simply humble.
The plots: I was searching for entrance music. I tried dozens of differant songs. I was also not accepted by the Prez immediately so I kept getting beat up by security.
The stables: None.
The enemies: Extreme Icon
The titles: none
The record: 4-0
The fed: DWA
The look: Teamed with a friend of mine to play as Jester of Jester and Bobo. I wore clown makeup, a yellow spagetti strap shirt, and split legged red and yellow sweat pants. Shirt read "Consider Yourself Handicapped". After joining the New World Assassins, the shirt read "Jester and Bobo and the NWA: Consider Yourself Handicapped".
The attitude: Lazy. I was chronically tired, suffering from narcolepsy.
The plots: Only fought in handicapped matches. It's a fun gimmick, but prez's hate it.
The stables: New World Assassins. (Fuji X, Hollywood Hitman, DAMNation, Jester and Bobo)
The enemies: Selrack, Red Dogg
The titles: none
The record: 4-0
The fed: ECW
The look: Back to Above Average Man. Green tights. Short hair. Started the big yellow C+ emblem on chest.
The attitude: The peacekeeper. I went to the fed and petitioned to put an end to Hardcore Matches.
The plots: I was anti-hardcore. I ended up feuding with the Hardcore Champion and facing him at the PPV.
The Stables: none
The enemies: Raven, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer
The titles: ECW Extreme Title
The record: 8-0
The fed: ICW
The look: A bit of Jester came back in C+. I pulled a gimmick where I disappeared for several days because I'd gotten my copy of starcraft and I was playing BNet 24-7. Other than needing some sleep and a shower, normal Above Average Man.
The attitude: I was trying to salvage the fed as it died. I was in a pissy mood since all feds kept shutting down.
The plots: After winning the US Title, I feuded with "Vain" Wayne Jeffries. We were both still growing as characters.
The stables: none
The enemies: Hell's Angel, Notron, Wayne Jeffries
The titles: ICW US Title
The record: 5-0
The fed: GCW
The look: Same old C+.
The attitude: I was ready for a fed that would last. I started out as normal, then got really humbled when I got my neck broken.
The plots: Broken neck, wanted US Title, wouldn't accept the Hardcore Title shot as I swore off Hardcore forever.
The stables: plenty of offers, but none.
The enemies: Alien, Omega
The titles: none
The record: 5-1
The fed: RPWL (Role Players Will Lose?)
(I basically refuse to acknowledge ever being in this federation. Everyone there got blatantly screwed. I include this only because I was asked to by Midget Giant so he would have some referance on my page.)
The look: same old same old
The attitude: I got a little cocky since I knew I was the best in the fed.
The plots: Everyone wanted me to join their stables. I ended up forming my own and turning almost everyone down.
The stables: Frustrated Incorporated (Above Average Man, Billy Bubba Bo Bob Ray, Midget Giant, Mr Pipe)
The enemies: DISCO INFERNO, Austin, the Wolfpac, DISCO! DISCO! DISCO! Dark Justice, and DISCO!!!!!!
The titles: RPWL US Champion, RPWL World Champion, RPWL Tag Team Champion, RPWL Cruiserweight Champion
The record: 17-1 (total screwjob loss. I had the guy out RPed 8 to 0. He didn't RP once! Then he threatened to quit if he didn't win, and he also happened to be the Prez's kid brother. So I don't count any of this crap on my permanent record.)
The fed: OWF
The look: Started out in Cobra Commander style hood, as Azreal's mystery partner. Took to drinking and smoking and switched my outfit. It was a gray bodysuit. Then it switched again to just a t-shirt and cargo pants.
The attitude: Alcoholic. Hated myself and alot of the people around me. Really depressed.
The plots: Got revenge on Omega. Alien turned out to be my brother. Joined N4H. Formed VeNoM. Rejoined N4H. Became a PlaYa Hater.
The Stables: N4H (Giant, Azreal, Above Average Man, Romeo, Jesse Williams)
................ VeNoM (Kozmo, Icecold, Steve Cruise, Alien, Above Average Man)
................ PlaYa Haters (Jesse Williams and Above Average Man)
The enemies: Alien, Omega, PlaYa
The titles: OWF Cruiserweight Champion, OWF US Champion, OWF Stables Champion (N4H), OWF Stables Champion (VeNoM), OWF Stables Champion (N4H)
The record: 11-1
The fed: OWA
The look: Back as Jester and Bobo
The attitude: Really tired. Mildly depressed over OWF shutdown.
The plots: Just lackies for Agent oo6.
The stables: EOD (Jester, Bobo, Agent oo6, Devastator, Nightmare, Sonny Lightning, Chaimber, Xzibit, Bang Davenport)
The enemies: Fishman, Shaggy, Scary Larry, Remy LeBeau
The titles: none
The record: 1-0
The fed: DRW
The look: Mr President, the chief executive of MVW.
The attitude: Very pissed off. Just a little guy with a big problem.
The plots: That dickhead advertised on my fed, saying we sucked and all our wrestlers should change to his fed. I joined his fed to prove who sucked, and beat the hell out of his top guys.
The stables: none
The enemies: oZ, the prez
The titles: DRW World Title
The record: 5-0
The fed: EKKF
The look: Because of federation rules surrounding original wrestlers, Above Average Man took a break from the ring to manage Scott and Steve Armstrong. Not really a manager, but as they were disappointed with their careers, they turned to him for some sage-like advice.
The attitude: Don't be like me!
The plots: Above Average Man wasn't allowed to get into the ring, but was able to breath a spark of success into the Armstrongs. Their success inspired him to move back to the ring after considering retirement (and suicide).
The stables: Manager of "The Jobber-onies" (Scott and Steve Armstrong, Hugh Morris, Johny Attitude, Super Calo)
The enemies: Kane, Sting, Christian
The Titles: EKKF Tag Team Titles
The record: Steve: 5-0 Scott: 6-0
Last Man Standing 128 Man Tournament
The fed: Sponsered by FWF (F*cked Wins Forever?)
The look: Still dirty vagrant version of Above Average Man. Cleaned up before the Battle Royal and started to take care of himself. Went back to wearing his No Gimmicks black tights (don't ask) and dawned a Titan Bahadur shirt out of respect.
The attitude: I'm just one of one hundred twenty eight. The tournament is bigger than any one man. We are all so insignificant, especially me.
The plots: Got re-trained by old Frustrated Inc. Got left out in the cold by them. Found out that after a year of avoiding me, my old lover Jenny Hopwood wished to speak to me again, but I felt unworthy to face her. I needed to win the tournament "so that I would be something". She deserves better. I earned the respect of Titan Bahadur, and may be taken in as his ward.
The stables: Frustrated Inc. (Midget Giant, Billy Bubba Bo Bob Ray, Above Average Man, Mr Pipe)
The enemies: the fake Icecold, Eldar Markovitch
The Titles: Last Man Standing
The record: 5-0
The fed: SWA
The Look: Massive overhaul. Shaven head. Titan Bahadur t-shirt. Dress slacks. Chain Mail sleeve. Mongolian helmet. Titan's hammer and ring.
The attitude: Humble and honorbound. I am now a Horde member.
The plots: Titan's passing beyond. President Kilbourne's conspiracy against The Horde, Alec Kidd, and a few others. Wrestlers were being killed.
The stable: The Horde: Cinji Khan, Titan Bahadur, Sonny Lightning Bahadur, The General, James Royal, Matt Thunder, Chaimber, Bryan Barnes.
The enemies: Manchild, Jimmy Jackson, President Kilbourne, Chaos Inc., The Circle
The allies: Alec Kidd
The Titles: SWA Genocide Title
The record: 4/1
One Last Note:
Here is the URL for MVW. It's the greatest fed up and running today.
And if you want to email me, I'm at Calebian_Forces@hotmail.com and a few other places, but that's were I read my wrestling related news. See you soon.
One last note from Emma
I'm a woman. I like to bake pies.
On a serious note,
Dudes I've managed.
IceCold & Mia (to some extent)
The Chaimber and the entire N4H to some degree. But Chaimber's my boyfriend, so mainly him.
Titles I've held
OWF Women's Title (won from Rachael. Lost when Prez DK stripped me of title and gave it to his sister. I opted to retire than beat her for a fourth time to get it back. I know it was just an angle, but that was damn unfair.)
Only one other thing to say...
Shit, man, For a male chauvanist pig, that's awfully feminine. But I guess it's a good release. Besides, she's just such a freaking babe. Can you blame me?