The camera opens on Above Average Man and Juvi in a back alley somewhere in Manhattan. Above Average Man wears a giant rainbow colored afro. His face is painted charcoal black and he has a Duuuh Kliq shirt and some baggy pants on. Juvi is wearing a Duuuh Kliq shirt and a ball cap that reads Mr Seduction. An old lady walks by pushing a shopping cart. They look at each other, shaking there heads. It's only two on one. They can't handle jumping here. If only Nash was here, then that old lady would stand a chance. You know, three on one, the typical Kliq odds. Above Average Man pats his rainbow afro, trying to fluff it up a bit. Juvi looks at him, shaking his head. Above Average Man nods in agreement and begins to twist the wig, making a rough version of dreadlocks out of the bangs. Above Average Man and Juvi smile, trying to choke back the laughter. Juvi beckons the cameraman over. A prostitute crosses by on the opposite side of the street. Above Average Man holds up a twenty, but she shakes her head no. He sighs, slouching his shoulders forward. Juvi starts moving his arms back and forth in a rapping style motion. Above Average Man starts laughing. Juvi grins at him. Above Average Man starts to moonwalk, the grips his crotch and gives a high pitched squeel. Juvi drops to the alley floor laughing. Above Average Man turns to the camera, a big dopey grin on his face.

The Above Average Player

Hey there everyone out there in TV land. As you can see, PlaYa walked into the Battle Royal like he said he would, and got tossed out by Above Average Man just like the C Plus Wrestler promised. The Kliq always delivers. Of course, we usually get the order wrong. Now I'm here with my main man, Mr Seduction, Spidie. I came in sixth in that Battle Royal, which means I move absolutely no where in the rankings. I promised you all that I would go straight to the top, and I came through with what you wanted to see: me taking a spill before the match was halfway over. And since I'm the only one of the Trump Cards that's still around. And the only one that hasn't held the World Title Twice. Or even once, for that matter. But since I'm a Trump Card, I demand to take full advantage of my number six position. Yeah. Kremlin. I'm number six. So I want a World Title shot. And I want it at the Spaced Out. Hell, why don't we just do this the easy way. DK, why don't you just strip The Kremlin so I don't have to fail again. Then you can give me the World Title without a match. That way I can actually be the... err... Da World Champ for the only time ever. You see, I can't earn it. But I still want it, so polish up that silver platter cause Da Champ is about to take what is rightfully his.


Now I'm Mr Seduction and stuff, and we all know why I accompany PlaYa to ringside. PlaYa's nothing without his main squeeze Spidie. I mean, man. Main man. We're not gay. Yeah. Just because we're two guys that have an obvious attachment to each other, doesn't mean that we are "intimate".

The Above Average Player

Well, so, we used to be. But I'm a player, so I found myself someone else. Spidie, you'll never be seen in the OWF again, because I've found myself another man. I'm dumping your ass. Because that's what a player does. I use men and throw them away. So Spidie, get lost.

Spidie (Juvi) slouches forward trying to act depressed. He walks off the camera. Above Average Man/PlaYa waves goodbye with a huge smile on his face.

The Above Average Player

Now on to some buisness. And by buisness, I mean the only kind of buisness I know. And that's PlaYa buisness. As the first order of PlaYa Buisness, I'd like to again demand that I get my pathetic ass handed a shot at the World Title. But there's a second order of PlaYa Buisness for me to handle. And that is introducing to the world my new manager. Introducing, my best friend's wife and my new girlfriend, Rachael.

Juvi steps back into camera view, this time wearing the same outfit from earlier from the Nash/Rachael skit. Juvi/Rachael wraps her arms around Above Average Man/PlaYa's neck. Above Average Man grimmaces in discomfort as he is touched this way by a man. Juvi gives an obvious look of disgustion as well. Juvi lets go of Above Average Man and Above Average Man turns to a garbage can behind him. Opening it up, he pulls out a sign. It reads: White Trash / Wife Swapping. Juvi/Rachael hangs it around his neck, looks down at it, and cracks a smile. Above Average Man/PlaYa starts to run his hands back into his hair, but moves the afro and realizes that he can't do his normal bad habits. The camera closes back in on Above Average Player.

The Above Average Player

Now I told everyone that Duuuh Kliq could trust each other. And it looks like Big K bought into it hook, line, and sinker because he backed off and let me, as a friend, steal his wife. But, of course, that slut doesn't care anyway. It's not like I've been her first "other man" since she got married. Rachael is the only person who can get more men than me. So I guess, since I'm the Above Average Player, she must be Super-Slut. But once again, Rachael shows why she's the most talented person in Duuuh Kliq. But there is, of course, one last item of PlaYa Buisness. And that is the PlaYa Hater. Yeah. I made a move specifically for leveling all the PlaYa Haters out there. But since I'm a real ass, everyone hates me. The entire world is fill with PlaYa Haters. Which looks like I'll need to be another Goldberg. I've only got time for one move per match, because there are just sooo many PlaYa Haters for me to try and level with my one move. And since I only win my spoonfed victories, it's going to take a lot of tries before I can PlaYa Hate everyone who hates me. Maybe if I wasn't such a jerk...


Oh, don't worry about it, hon. When people start beating you up, I'll just climb into the ring and take them down. Because I am twice the wrestler you are, and I'm the only one who will ever be able to win Duuuh Kliq the World Title. But that is, of course, because my brother would just give it to me. He's a real sweetheart that way. So you're looking at your first ever female OWF World Champion. It won't be that hard to make the transition. After all, I've been wearing the pants in my family for as long as anyone can remember. I'm the most masculine member of Duuuh Kliq. And you are looking at your next World Champion.

The Above Average Player

Oh no! Rachael's calling the shots again! Please, DK, you have to hand me the World Title over for free. There's no way I'll ever be able to beat Rachael to win it... or Kremlin... or Giant... or Above Average Man... Well, you get the picture.

Juvi/Rachael and Above Average Player drop their guises, returning to their regular mannerisms. Above Average Man pulls the camera in close to his face, condesation gathering on the lens as he speaks.

Above Average Man: I'll do whatever it takes to get the shot I earned. DK. Kremlin. If I have to be a Trump Card, I'll be a Trump Card. If I have to have a manager, I'll have a manager. You name it, I'll do it. I'm ready to get my just due.

The sod has spoken