Familar music floods the arena. It's Voodoo

Child by Jimi Hendrix. Everyone turns to the

ramp in anticipation. Can it be... JayPac?

The curtains start to rustle. They burst open

and with a flourish spin, Above Average Man

stands in the clear. He wears a tight pair of

Z Carverichi jeans and a tank top which reads

Supa-Sexy. He looks to the fans as the booes

begin. Above Average Man struts to the ring,

relishing in their hatred. He rolls in under the

bottom rope, and a few of the female fans in the

front row whistle at his rear. Standing up, he

gives it a little extra shake for the ladies on the

other side, then turns to the ring announcer who

tosses him a mic. Above Average Man tries to

act serious while running his hand up in a flourish

movement over the horizon.

CPlusPac: Well damn it's great to be back in Las

Vegas. And I've got only one thing to say. Yes, the

rumors are true. Supa Sexy CPlusPac has returned

home. Not only home to Las Vegas, but home to the

OWF. Now I was alot of things in the OWF. I was not

just a World Champion, I was the first ever two-time

World Champion. Back when it meant something,

before Agent and Kremlin did that humiliating job-

the-title-back-and-forth-to-tie-my-record. We all

watched Kremlin completely disappear when Agent

got the shot, then Krem is suddenly back and busting his

butt after Agent forfeits the title. And how many times

did Agent defend it that second time? None. Not a damn

one. He knew he didn't deserve it. And he didn't really

care. He just wanted to tie Supa Sexy's record so he

could lay the claim to fame himself. But the fact remains,

Agent won the title twice and ran as soon as it looked like

he'd have to defend. Any time he caught wind of JayPac,

Agent was out of the OWF toot sweet. Well this time, the

World Champion isn't a man who runs from me. This

time the World Champion is exactly who I entrusted the

belt to in the first place. None other than The Kremlin.

And I know since I gave you the World Title, the least

you can do is give me a shot to win it back. Yeah, I dance

in and out of this fed as I please. Yeah, I probably just want

to win it so I can be the first ever Three Time World

Champion, then hand it over to Kremlin like it seems so

popular to do, but I still want the shot none the less. Now

DK, you know what CPlusPac does when he's mad. You've

felt a beating at my hands once before. Be smart. Give

me the shot before I make it twice.


CPlusPac: Yeah, I'm one of the Three Trump Cards of

the OWF. And because of that, I get whatever I want.

That is how it works, isn't it? You picked three guys

to get all the World Title matches, then promoted one

guy after each of us retired. But now that I'm back,

I replace Kozmo and no more shots for him. He hasn't

been here since day one and he hasn't retired and come

back enough times to warrant a World Title match.

But me, I'm back again so I expect to see CPlusPac

doing a main event for the World Title on the next card.

Because I'm a Trump Card so I get absolutely everything

I want.


The audience is now booing Above Average Man

uncontrolably. He only laughs the way any typical

heel would. Juvi steps out of the fans, his hair in

curlers and wearing a huge tent of a dress, impersonating

a fat woman. Above Average Man tries to look excited as

he steps into the ring.


CPlusPac: As you can see, the girls can't resist Supa-Sexy.

Too bad I'm too busy winning every single title the OWF

has to offer. I mean, if DK could resist giving me a title

shot, maybe I'd have a weekend to myself. But alas, ever

since he called me wanting me to come back, I've had no

choice but to make appearance after appearance,

preparing for my debut match, which I might add, will

be a World Title shot. Because I made the OWF so I'm

going to get everything I want. Heck, I may just have

to win the Women's Title so I can be the first ever OWF

man to hold every belt. Too bad Emma got screwed as

royally as I did, otherwise I'd get the chance to get my

hands back on her. But I know after she gets those

messages I leave on her answering machine, she'll

leave The Big Goof Paul White and come back home

to CPlusPac. The Giant ain't nothing. You want to

know why it's "the belt he never lost"? Because just

like Agent, he ran away when it looked like he'd have

to face Supa Sexy. How did the first ever World Champ

not get named a Trump Card unless he was just real

damn lucky. That's my take on it. And as we all know,

Supa Sexy CPlusPac is never wrong. I'm infallable.

I'm perfect. And I'm going to be the first ever Three

Time OWF World Champion. So why don't you give

me the shot. Come on, Kremlin. You owe me this.

You'd have never touched that belt if it weren't for

me. If I hadn't had to retire, I'd still be World Champ

right now. Cuz ain't no one got what it takes to

keep me down for the three count. Kremlin, I'll expect

you to bring my belt to the ring and let me have my

shot. This is something I demand, and ain't nobody

going to stand in my way.


The fans boo as Supa Sexy CPlusPac walks back up the

ramp arm in arm with the fat lady fan aka Juvi. People

pelt him with empty cups and half-eaten hot dogs, but

he seems to *snicker* relish in their hatred. CPlusPac

and Juvi pause at the end of the ramp and Above Average

Man slowly turns around, regaining his old demeanor.


Above Average Man: Hey DK. Kremlin. Is this what it takes? I mean, you name it.

Juvi and Above Average Man step through the curtains again, disappearing in yet another guise. The laughter twitters through the arena as these two complete yet another spoof in Above Average Man's quest for a shot at the title he never lost (or won for that matter).