the Gruntwilligar T. Honkenoffski BLOG!
MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
WRITE IN HONKENOFFSKI!
YOU ARE BEING WASHED!!!
this text was inserted by a
VIRUS named Johnathan, currently working as an investment banker in New Mexico.
ALL YOUR INFORMATION ARE BELONG TO US!!!!1!!1!!1111
Seriously, folks, if you vote for me you'll never see this kind of
stupid shit again. Or at least if I do something as stupid as this I
will respect your decency and not put a fucking CONVICTED FELON in
charge of the goddamned thing.
Philosophies of G. T. Honkenoffski
The Principle of Add, Don't Subtract
As long-time fans of my web-site will know, and as new visitors will discover, my web-team and I practice our art with the prinicple of "Add, Don't Subtract".
From the title itself you can glean quite a bit of what this prinicple entails. For the infirm and inbred, let me explain: when I, or any of my trusted web team update this website, it is always to add new content, or to update existing content, but never to remove content, no matter how stupid, badly-written, obscene or out-of-date it may be.
This principle has been in practice for ages, from the web sites of oddball political figures to the stock market (I mean, the people who run the fucking thing can't possibly have the ability to subtract, since, you know, the economy will keep expanding exponentially forever and stuff). Our mission is to keep updating this website until it passes the Chandrasekhar limit and it collapses into a black hole (or until we exhaust our Angelfire account, whichever comes first).
Oh, except for that Flintlock shit. That's gone. May that son of a bitch rest in pieces.
The Principle of "Funny While Drunk"
(not to be confused with NUMBER 17, "The Principle of 'Funny
While Drunk'", which implies that the object of "funny" is also the
object of "drunk")
This, like most
non-pornographic web sites in the hypermatic electroweb,
is usually MUCH funnier if it is experienced while drunk.
Now it doesn't matter if you are a kind visitor reading this web page
or if you are a webmaster updating this page; in either case things are
invariably funnier when tanked.
Honkenoffski heartily recommends beer (the more exotic the better!
You're visiting other lands!!!) or wine (more potent but far less vile
than straight spirits). Women and girly-men can go for that goofy shit
like Bailey's, if they must.
If you can find some absinthe, all
the better. The hallucinations go well with this web page.
This is the most important one of all. Do not, under any circumstances, forget this rule. Number 14 is what it all comes down to!
Oh, and another thing:
<-- He is a duck. Quack quack.
Jesus says "Blessed are those who vote Honkenoffski"
Introducing the Honkenoffski Live PenguinCam
Dig those crazy penguins!
Gruntwilligar has his eyes on you...
HEY! YOU! Do something with this page dammit!
As you can see from the above picture, Gruntwilligar is Butt ugly.