Make your own Atomic Bomb

In the comfort of your own kitchen

Have you ever looked at the Global Thermonuclear Arms Race and wished that you could be a part of it? Have you wished that you too could strut and posture before cowering backwards nations who have never made Huge Explosions to impress their Warlike Neighbours?

Well, now you can!

Introducing "Fat Bastard", the first Atomic Bomb you can assemble in your own home, from Ordinary Everyday Items..

You will need:
1 10oz. Can of Campbell's Condensed Tomato & Rice Soup (suitable for Vegetarians).
1 Invitation to Christmas Eve Service And Carols from your local church.
1 Snowstorm paperweight from Berlin.
1 Thermonuclear Slow Neutron Initiator Source.
Scissors, Duct Tape, Blu-Tak and Coloured Pens.

Cut the Invitation to Christmas Eve Service and Carols into four fin-shaped pieces. It is important to make then the same shape and size, or your Nuclear Weapon will be unstable in flight.

Use the Blu-Tak or the Duct Tape (whichever you prefer) to attach the Snowstorm Paperweight from Berlin the the front of the Campbell's Tomato & Rice Soup Can. It is ESSENTIAL that you use a Berlin Snowstorm Paperweight, in order to maximise Fallout from the device.

Attach the pre-made fins to the rear end of the assembled Atomic Bomb, using more Blu-Tak.

Take the Thermonuclear Slow Neutron Initiator Source, and feed it down your kitchen waste disposal unit.

Your Atomic Bomb is now ready for use. Write sarcastic messages to your enemy on the casing of the weapon with the coloured pens (this is called Psychological Warfare). Now go out and rain Blazing Red-Hot Market Capitalism on all Enemies of the Free World.

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