06/25/02 During a day of intense paitballing, Jason and Mike had a pizza eating contest in which they tied at six slices a piece. After this long, hard day of getting hit with paintballs, they went home to relax, eat dinner, and shower. Their party side was beckoning though, so they decided to meet their good friends, Ian and Ryan, and the NYU orientation on 4th street. There was a reception going on, and all the boys were amazed at the huge quantity of hot girls going to NYU next year. They eventually got sick of this and Jason and Mike walked over to St. Mark's place, to look for a nice bar to have a good time. Instead, they found a pizzeria where Mike ate his seventh slice of the day (!) and the two boys had a nice chat and devised a number system for rating girls which will later be unveiled on the site. After pizza, they went out to search for a cheap and seedy bar that would serve underage kids, but instead found our Mecca. It was an Arab owned store on 5th street and 1st avenue that has 400 varieties of beer! They found the weirdest beers in the store and brought them back to the ROOF to enjoy. A block away from the ROOF, they found a nice chair that they could use to chill on and it is still up there for future enjoyment. For some reason, the beers that Mike chose were not very good, but the ones Jason chose were quite good, so Jason got pretty wasted and Mike was as sober as a little girl. In order from best to worst (Jason's to Mike's), here are the reviews:

Reuschmansteiner: A Bavarian Lager in a large, half liter container that was suprisingly good. Not too dark, but definately not a pussy light beer. It has a German Castle on the front.

Raftman- A Quebecois ale that is brewed from malt whiskey. This beer is for hardcore French Canadians who spend all their days in the woods and wrestle bears. This is a really good full bodied ale, but not for the faint of heart.

Eau Benite- Another Quebecois ale from the same company as Raftman, but is a lot more intense. This stuff is 7.7% alcohol and has a very strong taste that cannot easily be sipped slowly. On the back it reads "a golden ale with a slightly fruity and light spicy aromatic taste." I had to drink it quickly to finish and it really fucked me up. It has a picture of a drunk male angel in a vat of beer.

Crabymue (?)- A dark Ukrainian beer in a half liter bottle. Suprisingly only 4.5% alcohol, but is the stuff that Ukranians get drunk off of. Pretty heavy stuff, but nothing special.

Quelque Chose- Yet another Quebecois ale, but a cherry ale. It is in a large, liter container and is sealed and corked like a bottle of Dom Perignon, so we were looking forward to something really good. It tasted like a weird wine with a strange fruity taste. It is an acquired taste that is not desireable to our palletes (turns out it is best served heated to 160 degrees). Mike drank only a little and wasted $12.50 on this very fancy and expensive beer.

Blackened Voodoo- This is some DARK, hardcore lager. It has a swamp on the outside and is some of the most intense stuff I have tasted. I did not like it because I am not into such bitter beer and only a small amount of it was actually drank by either of us.

Jason

06/20/02 This was the worst nights of ROOFING since the infamous Soph-Frosh SING! cast party fiasco. Our entire way of life was compromised in one evening. The night started out promising: Jason had a ceremony for becoming an Eagle Scout which was followed by a reception. The entire ROOF crew was there and we were ready for an evening of partying and drunkenness. Everyone went to Jason's house and somebody made sure to pick up provisions on the way, which included a lot of beer, some chips, and some vodka. We got up to roof and everyone kicked back a few brews. Some were going faster than others, and soon we found three of our female friends really acting out of it. It turns out that each chugged several shots of vodka at once, but they were not ready for this mad industrial, Vadim style of drinking yet. They are still lightweights, they are not 6'4" ultra-industrial Soviets. Nobody knows what possesed these seemingly intelligent girls to do such a thing, but they were very funny as they were acting really goofy and out of it. Eventually they needed to use the bathroom and felt sick, so they were taken down and did their business. As they left the apartment, one of them, an unnamed saluditorian, collapsed in the hallway of the 22nd floor. She was carried back to the apartment to rest on Jason's little brother's bed, and left with her drunken compatriots. Later, two of the girls were found in Jason's bathroom, passed out in their own vomit and talking incomprehensible sentences. The third was puking in Jason's parents' bathroom. This was truly a bad scene, and Jason's parents were not thrilled. The evening dragged on and the girls remained very sick. More people showed up, but the evening could no longer be fun. Eventually, Hunter helped out. He is a good friend of the ROOF and is experienced in the ways of reviving passed out drunk girls. He helped out these girls and they could finally leave Jason's house. Jason had to clean up the awful mess and his parents decided to crack down on these little gatherings which they knew about all along, but just looked the other way (parents are a lot smarter than we credit them for). Now our way of life is changed and we can no longer have the wild open parties like before...fucking great.

Jason

06/17/02 With one of the initial members of the ROOF suffering from a bruised heart, Jason decided to make the best of the evening by downing a pair of six packs with Big Red atop our 27th street castle in the sky. Feelings were shared, pretzels were eaten and by the end of the night(Coors and Bud) it felt as if all was well in the world. Truly one of the more serene, emotional ROOFings to date. Good luck Captain.

Mike

06/08/02 So Regan came over for the Tyson fight tonite (he got raped by the way). Realizing that it was still a relatively young evening at 1 am, we decided to hit up some Jack and wine on the beach next to Steve's house. After getting properly fucked up, we found a little girl's bike sitting out with the trash and decided to capitalize on the situation. Regan was surprisingly adaptive to the new vehicle and performed a wide array of pop wheelies and curb-jumps.

Then we went over to chill at Steve's house where his sister joined us in a heartfelt discussion about love and Steve's dangerously increasing stupidity. So we leave Steve's at around 4 and retrieve our pink princess. After riding it for a little while we got kinda tired and decided to hang it on a traffic light. So now it's sitting on top of a fucking traffic light. Then we lied down on the street and waited for oncoming traffic to run us over. Well, no one came so we got up and stumbled over to my house. End of night.

Ote

06/01/02 Without a doubt the most extreme ROOF outing in history. Initiated by Otar's purchase of a keg of good ole MGD and the distribution of small flyers in school,the ROOF decided to descend to street-level for a summer kickoff blast in a park next to the FDR. Despite arriving to the disappointment of a chained front gate, the determined ROOFers completed their plan unthwarted, as Mike and Ote managed to heave the fermented beast over the fence with help from Alex the Czar Severin.

As the night progressed, people of all ages stopped for a taste of the unfortunately frothy brew, a result of the first annual "keg vaulting" incident that occurred earlier. Special entertainment was provided by Mike "the distillery" Mascetti, who, equipped with his liter of grey goose citron, somehow still managed to hop the fence and trek north along the FDR shoulder along with the rest of the crew to evade a relatively compassionate security guard. Goat's glorious "death" at the hand of Paul Nadzella also provided some hollywood style action.

After the gathering was broken up, the two Mikes still standing (Mascetti was currenty vomiting out the window of darren's car)decided that they could not abandon Miller himself. Returning secretly to the park, they were able to recover the keg and roll it to a downtown bus,which carried the small recon team safely to ROOF H.Q. at 27th and 2nd. Check out upcoming pics for a more detailed image of this unique adventure.

Mike

5/26/02 Hands-down best ROOFing of all time took place yesterday at Jason's. We met up at about 11 and to our surprise, there was another ROOFing going on! With the Reganoid out of town, I, the lone co-founder, greeted our companions and set up ties for future co-ROOFing. It turns out the ROOF is big enough for 2 ROOfings!

Anyway these kids were from UNIS and Fordham, cool people. Especially this kid Rob. Rob, if your reading this, you are the funniest motherfucker on the planet. I swear to God, this kid made me laugh until my stomach hurt. We should give him his own column or something.

Alex "The Pukester" Severin managed to serve us his dinner for the 2nd straight ROOFing. Looks like someone needs a dose of ROOF BOOT CAMP (coming next week)! And you too Ivan....100 oz. of beer is not what the doctor ordered.

So anyway, the ROOFing was top-notch, we need a day or two now to recover. It just wasn't the same without Mike though (he's in the Hamptons contemplating whether to kill himself). No matter, next week will be the first ever ROOF-sponsored keg! Location TBA, but it will definitely be flagrantly public and easy to find.

5/19/02 The ROOF t-shirts are in, finally. Check back later for a fine pic.

ps: Check out "Roofitness"

5/12/02 So Regan calls my cell from this party at 2 in the morning with this breaking news:

"Hey Ote, it's me, I'm DRUNK outta my fuckin' mind! Hahahahaha. I think I broke a table or something. Haahhahahaha. Weeeeeeee!! Oh man am I wasted.....Anyway...hahahahaha.....wish you were here! Boy am I fucked up. WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

I talked to him his morning, he didn't remember shit. Haha, score one for the Reganator.

5/8/02 There was an assembly in school today for kids who were flunking and it turns out the whole ROOF was there! They were talking about how we couldn't graduate and shit.....we just cracked jokes the whole time. I mean, do they really expect a band of drunken teenagers to do good in school, let alone senior year? HA!

The ROOF will continue to fail all of their classes in bold defiance of the corrupt educational system. Principle says "Raise your grades." We say, "Raise your shot glasses."

5/5/02 Jay's parents were gone, so of course we had to take advantage of the situation by purchasing excessive amounts of liquor and hauling ass up to his house, where booze and tits prevailed in what was arguably one of the best ROOFings of all time. Check out the pics, courtesy of our man Mike Scharfstein.

In a brilliant act of defiance, Regan suggested we pass up the Absolut and head for the Stoli. Now I have to say, Stoli is the best fucking vodka this side of the solar system. Half a liter of the stuff, and I was on the moon...and you can't get sick even if you TRIED. And I sure did try. Props to Mike for rollin' to the Stoli.

That's it for now, kids. Look out for next week's ROOFing.

4/20/02 Last night at Jason's was unforgettable. Or at least fragments were. Screwdrivers and Steel Reserve were the night's major players, and everyone managed to hold on to their dinner this time. Digital cameras came in handy yet again, although at the time Goat and several others were simply searching for a leg to stand on. Concluding festivities included an unbalanced trek to the 24 hour Baskin Robbins, where it was discovered that vanilla yogurt brings the Otar-Police-Taunting-Gene out of remission. Oh, be on the lookout for the upcoming ROOF personalized tshirts!

4/14/02 Whoa baby, Last night was rockin' at Cliff's house. Plenty of alcohol, a camera, and half a pack of Djarums highlighted the evening. Beverages of the night included Cuervo (which I took down like a champ), Smirnoff (Vadim and Ivan were the main patrons), Absolut (Jeff!!), and 40s of Bud (that's you Jase).

So Alex ended up puking all over the fucking place, ha. So did Sergey, who took shots all night with me but couldn't hold it in. Jason, of course, passed out off of 2 40s which isn't surprising. Haha here's something funny....Ryan tried to stick his dick in Jason's mouth while he was passed out, and Jason woke up and tried to beat him up (but was too drunk to).

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