DARKENING OF THE LIGHT

     

Chapter 3

Kevin stares at the setup on the dresser.  He picks up one of the pieces of the broken mirror and looks at it closely.  "Ryan." he whispers, then puts it back down.  He thinks back to that day almost six years prior, when Ryan was trapped in that house of mirrors and burned to death.  He looks on the floor and spots a plastic toy fire truck lying there -- he sits down on the floor and picks it up, remembering a time when he was a little boy . . . . .


Kevin and Ryan were in their room, playing with their toys.  Kevin is playing with a bright red fire engine, and Ryan comes over to him and snatches it away from him.  "Give me that!" Kevin shouts.  "It's MINE!"

"Not anymore!" Ryan insists.

"I was playing with that, you can't have it!" Kevin shouts, as their mother enters the room. 

"Ryan!" Melanie shouts.  "Come over here!  You need to stop being such a bad little boy!"  Melanie takes the truck away from Ryan, and hands it back to Kevin, and takes Ryan out of the room . . . .


"Doc." Lucy says, as Kevin looks up at her, still holding the fire truck.  "Aren't you coming to bed?"

"Lucy -- where did this come from?" Kevin asks.

"Well, I don't know, I -- well, we've gotten so many toys, anyone could have given it to us.  Why?"

"I used to have one just like it when I was a little boy.  I always said I wanted to be a fireman -- it was my favorite toy.  But Ryan always tried to take it away from me -- he wanted everything I had."  Kevin stands up, and puts the truck down.  "I -- I don't remember putting this up here, Lucy." 

"Doc, I saw you -- you were in here, and you said it was a surprise for the twins."

"Was this supposed to be a surprise too?" Kevin asks.  He points out the broken fun house on the circus setup, and the match lying with the shattered mirror pieces. 

"Oh my god, Doc, I --"

"What's happening to me, Lucy?  Why would I put this here, and not remember a thing about it?  And now this --"

"I -- I don't know, Doc, are you sure you don't remember, because I know I saw you --"

"I don't remember ANYTHING!" Kevin shouts.

"Shhhh.  Doc, you'll wake up the twins."  Kevin runs out of the room, flustered.  "Doc, what are you --" Lucy begins, following him.  Kevin goes into the kitchen and comes out carrying a large trash bag.  He goes back into the playroom and starts emptying the circus setup, piece by piece, into the bag.  When he's finished, he throws the bag down onto the floor, and
walks over to the window, staring outside.

"Am I losing my mind again, Lucy?" Kevin asks.  Lucy puts her arms around him.

"No." she insists.

"Then how do explain what's happening to me?  I'm doing things I don't remember doing, I'm hearing voices calling my name -- not exactly signs of sanity." Kevin says.

"Maybe you're just -- you've been really busy at work.  Maybe you need some time off.  I've got an idea -- how about you take a leave of absence?  You can stay home with the twins, and I'll go back to working at Jacks full-time for awhile --"

"You really want me left alone with the twins?"

"You would never hurt our babies, Doc -- come on, let's go to bed."

"I want to get rid of this -- I want it out of my house." Kevin says, picking up the bag.

"Okay -- well, when you're done with that, please come to bed." Lucy says.  She gives him a kiss on the cheek and leaves the room.  Kevin takes the trash bag outside, and as he's heading back into the house he hears a noise. 

"Who's there?" Kevin asks.  He turns and jumps back as something moves in the bushes -- and a cat jumps out, looking right at Kevin, clearly afraid.  Kevin's look of fear turns into a smile as he watches the cat.  "So -- you're the one who's been making all this noise?" he says.  He walks slowly toward the animal.  "Come here -- nobody's gonna hurt you." he says, picking up the cat carefully and taking it in the house.  He goes upstairs into his room. 

"Lucy," he says, as Lucy sits up in bed, "Look what I found outside." 
Lucy gets up out of bed.

"Oh, you poor thing -- Kevin he looks hungry."  Lucy says, taking the cat in her arms.

"He's a she -- and yeah, I think she is hungry, she was prowling around the trash cans looking for something to eat."

"Well, let's just get you something to eat -- I'm sure we can find something." Lucy says, as the cat purrs softly.  "I think she likes me, Doc."

"Um, Lucy -- we can't keep her.  I don't think Sigmund would appreciate it." Kevin says.

"Well, Siggy and I will just have to have a little discussion about it -- I'm gonna go see if I can find her something to eat, and a place for her to sleep tonight.  And I'll take her to a vet first thing in the morning -- Doc, she's probably here because she was meant to find us, we can't just abandon her." Lucy says.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow." Kevin says. 

"What do you think about the name Midnight -- I mean, that's when we found her, and she IS a black cat, so it's just perfect, don't you think?"  Lucy says, completely ignoring Kevin.  She goes downstairs with the cat, as Kevin stares out the window for a moment, then gets into bed.


November 12, 2000  -- late afternoon.  Chris enters his apartment. Eve and Jessie are sitting on the couch, watching a movie and laughing. Jessie looks up as he enters. ''Well, hi honey!'' she quips. ''How was your day?''

''Oh, great!'' Chris replies sarcastically. ''Just what I wanted to come home to.'' He looks at the TV screen. ''What is this?''

''Heathers.'' Eve replies. ''It's a really dark and twisted comedy. You'd like it.'' She and Jessie both laugh.

''I'm sure.'' Chris replies. He looks at what Jessie and Eve have been eating. ''What all this stuff?'' he asks.

''Veggie burgers.'' Eve replies. ''Jessie made them. You should try one Chris, they're pretty good.''

''And a lot better for you than red meat.'' Jessie adds. ''Plus, you didn't have to kill any animals for them.''

''Yeah, yeah -- spare me the PETA lecture.'' Chris says. Jessie gets up and goes to the kitchen with her plate.

''Hey Chris -- everyone at GH wants to know if you and Jessie will be attending the Christmas party together next month.'' Eve asks, grinning.

''Oh, great! You know, I've been encouraging you for some time to expand your social circle beyond the male gender, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind. Look at this -- veggie burgers, astrological charts -- next thing you know you two will be holding a seance and bringing back the ghost of Elvis.''


Jessie comes back into the room. ''Actually, we did that last night.'' Jessie quips. ''He was sorry he missed you -- he had a few helpful hints for you on how to 'get your groove back.''' Both Jessie and Eve begin laughing hysterically as Jessie sits back down.

''Uh-huh. Have your fun.'' Chris comments, clearly not amused.

''Oh, come on Ramsey. Where's your sense of humor?'' Jessie asks.

''I left it at work.'' Chris snaps. He finishes making a martini for himself, then sits down on the couch, grabs the remote and changes the channel to ESPN.

''Hey! We were watching that!'' Eve shouts.

''Hey! This is my TV set!'' Chris quips in return.

''You know, somebody needs to teach you some manners, Ramsey.'' Jessie comments.

''Sue me.'' Chris states, trying to ignore both of them.

Jessie gets up to leave. ''I need to get going anyway. I told some friends I'd go see their band play tonight. You sure you don't want to come?'' she asks Eve.

''No thanks. I've got the early shift tomorrow. But thanks for coming over and for dinner. I had a blast!'' Eve says.

''Anytime. Bye sweetie!'' Jessie says to Chris as she leaves.

''Thank GOD!'' Chris says after she leaves.

''Oh, come on Chris -- Jessie is a lot of fun.''

''Jessie is a thorn in my side!'' Chris says. ''Do you know how much I got ragged on the last 2 days because of her little comment to Dr. Quartermaine?''

''Well, you have to admit it's kind of improved your reputation around GH.'' Eve states. ''Everybody likes Jessie -- if she sees something in you, you can't be all bad!''

''Oh, spare me!'' Chris replies. ''I'd like to send Jessica Collins on a one-way space shuttle to whatever planet she came from.'' He finishes his martini and begins channel surfing, trying to ignore Eve.

''You know Ramsey -- I think you protest just a bit too much. You like her, don't you?'' Eve asks.

''Oh, please!'' Chris replies.

''Well, what about that kiss outside the OR a couple days ago.'' Chris looks up at her, clearly surprised that she knows about it. ''Jessie told me all about that.''

''Hey, *she* kissed *me*!'' he replies.

''And you kissed her right back, too! I think you like her.'' Eve teases.

''You're out of your mind.'' Chris states, throwing the remote on the coffee table and getting up. ''I think those veggie burgers cause a depletion of brain cells. I'm going to bed.''   Chris storms out of the room, and goes into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.  He sits down on the edge of the bed, think about Jessie kissing him the other day and smiles a bit
to himself.

November 20, 2000 -- Ellen is leaving the hospital, and she sees Kevin leaving as well.  "Kevin," says, and Kevin turns around.  "I was looking for you earlier -- Matt and I wanted to know if you'd like to go out to dinner tomorrow.  We haven't done that in awhile." Ellen says.

"Uh -- yeah, sure." Kevin says, acting a bit nervous.

"Are you okay?" Ellen asks.

"I'm fine." Kevin says.

"Okay then -- how about Matt and I just pick you up tomorrow around six?" Ellen asks.

"Fine." Kevin says.

"Alright -- maybe you should go home Kevin, you don't look too good." Ellen says, and she leaves.


November 21, 2000 -- early evening.  The doorbell rings at the Lighthouse, and Lucy goes to answer it.  Matt and Ellen are at the door.  Ellen looks at Lucy, who is dressed in spandex pants and a sweatshirt.  "You're not ready yet?" Ellen asks.

"Ellen, Matt -- what are you doing here?  I mean, not that it isn't good to see you, but --"

"What are you talking about?  Kevin said okay to our dinner invite -- he told you, didn't he?"  Ellen asks.

"No, he -- Kevin's not even home yet.  But come on in, I'm sure there's -- a reasonable explanation for this." Lucy says.

"Lucy -- Kevin seemed a bit -- I don't know, strange yesterday anyway -- look, I'm sorry for the mixup.  Maybe we can come back some other time." Ellen says.

"Of course not -- please, stay -- how about I just make us dinner, I haven't even started yet, and I'm sure I can come up with something." Lucy says.

"Are you sure?" Ellen asks.

"Positive." Lucy says.  Ellen looks over at Matt.

"It's fine with me -- but we really don't want to be a burden, I know you have your hands full." Matt says.

"Oh, you could never be a burden.  Just give me a few minutes, I'll be right out." Lucy says, and she goes into the kitchen.   A few minutes later, Lucy comes out into the living room, and just as she does the cat jumps out from behind a bookcase and into Matt's lap.

"Well -- who's this?" Matt asks.

"That's Midnight -- we found her outside, poor little thing, she was so cold and hungry -- so we decided to keep her -- well, I guess *I* decided to keep her, Kevin just agreed with me, but I didn't give him much of a choice.  Sigmund is still a little mad at me, but -- he'll just have to learn to live with it."   Just then the door opens, and Kevin enters the house. 

"Ellen, Matt -- what a surprise." Kevin says.

"Well, it shouldn't be, Doc, since you were the one who said we'd be having dinner with them tonight -- did you forget to tell me?" Lucy asks.

"What are you talking about?" Kevin asks.

"Yesterday -- I saw you leaving the hospital, remember?  I asked you if you and Lucy would like to have dinner with us tonight, and you said you did." Ellen says.

"I -- I did?" Kevin asks.

"Doc -- can I see you in the other room?" Lucy asks.  She and Kevin go into the kitchen.  "Now Doc, I know you're tired of hearing me say this, but -- I really wish you'd take some time off, I mean -- you're obviously under too much stress at work if you can't remember a simple conversation with Ellen yesterday, and --"

"Lucy, I didn't see Ellen yesterday." Kevin says.

"Of course you did, Doc -- why would she and Matt be here if you didn't?" Lucy asks.

"I don't know." Kevin says, sitting down at the table.  "Maybe you're right -- I'll put in a request for some time off tomorrow." Kevin says.

"Good." Lucy says, putting her arms around him and kissing him on the cheek.  "Now, I asked them to stay for dinner, so how about you go out there and keep them company while I get things ready?"  Kevin goes into the other room, still puzzled over what just happened.


December 1, 2000 -- Chris arrives at home and finds Eve and Jessie sitting in the living room.  Eve is clearly upset.  "What's going on?" Chris asks.  Eve looks up at him. 

"I had my purse stolen today.  Some guy just grabbed it from me in the parking garage." Eve says.  Chris sits down next to her.

"Are you okay?" Chris asks.

"I'm fine.  Jessie gave me a ride home, since I couldn't get into my car.  The police just left, they're looking into it." Eve says.

"I'm telling you Eve, you really need to learn some self-defense techniques.  I mean, who knows what would have happened if the guy had pulled a gun or a knife on you." Jessie says.

"Yeah, like either of you could do anything about it.  Please." Chris says.


"Hey, I've taken several classes in women's self-defense -- you'd be surprised what you can do to defend yourself." Jessie says.  Chris just laughs. 

"Gimme a break." Chris says.  "Eve, did you see the guy?"

"No, he came up from behind." Eve says.

"See, if you had known what to do, you could have wiped the floor with this creep." Jessie says.  "I'll see if I can find a class for you to take around here -- I'll go with you, I can always stand a refresher course." Jessie says.

"Okay, so you're saying if some goon as big as me came up behind Eve, she could just toss him on his rear and that would be the end of that?" Chris asks.  "You're delusional."

"Hey, I could learn to do it." Eve says, glaring at Chris.

"You want a demonstration?" Jessie asks.  Chris stands up.

"Sure -- this should be fun." Chris says.  "Give it your best shot."

"Okay -- but just remember, you volunteered for this." Jessie says.

"Yeah, and you can see the look of terror in my eyes.  What do you want me to do?" Chris asks.

"Okay -- I'm gonna walk across the room.  You come up behind me, and grab me from behind as tightly as you can." Jessie says.

"You're on." Chris says.  Jessie gets up and starts to walk toward the door.  Chris comes up behind her and grabs her.  "Okay, now what do I --" Chris begins, and before he can get another word out, Jessie grabs his arm and forcefully throws him to the ground.

"Wow -- I'm impressed!" Eve says.  "And anyone can learn to do this?"

"Sure -- it's pretty simple, you just have to know how to shift your weight correctly, and be able to think clearly in a tense situation -- that's the most important thing to remember." Jessie says, as Chris lies on the ground, groaning in pain.

"Is somebody gonna help me here?" Chris says in a strained voice.

"Oh my god -- Chris, did I hurt you?" Jessie asks, kneeling down next to him.  "Oh god, you're bleeding -- Eve, get your bag, I think he hit his head on the edge of the table.  Chris, I'm sorry."

"It's just a scrape --- I'm fine." Chris says, as Jessie helps him stand up and sits down with him on the couch. 

"Here, let me see." Eve says, cleaning up the small cut on his forehead.  "It's just a superficial cut -- he'll be fine."

"I'm really sorry -- let me do that." Jessie says, taking the bandages away from Eve and putting a bandage over the cut.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Chris says.  "Just don't tell anyone about this, okay?"

"I'm so sorry, Chris -- I didn't mean to throw you that hard.  I would never do anything to hurt you." Jessie says, kissing him softly on the cheek.

"Well, that's my cue -- I'm gonna go in the other room and make some phone calls to make sure this jerk who stole my purse doesn't run up a credit card debt for me." Eve says, "Thanks for the demonstration, Jess -- it was real eye opener." Eve teases.  Chris watches her leave the room, then sighs and turns to Jessie.

"Did you have to do that?" he asks.

"Do what?" Jessie says.

"Kiss me." Chris says.  "In front of Eve."

"I didn't see you stopping me." Jessie says.  "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." Chris says.  "Just a little bit of a bruised ego -- you were right, I was wrong.  And if you ever tell anyone I said those words to you, I'll deny it up and down." Jessie laughs.

"Can I get you anything?" Jessie asks.

"No, I told you, I'm fine." Chris says.

"How about this?" Jessie asks, kissing him tenderly on the lips.  Chris pushes her away.

"This isn't a good idea." Chris says.

"Why not?"

"Eve's in the other room, she could come out here and see us."

"Well -- then maybe we should -- go in your room." Jessie says.  Chris laughs.

"I don't think so." Chris says.  "Jessie -- it would never work between us.  And besides I -- I'm just not looking for anything right now, my job is too important at the moment.  I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Jessie says.  "Well, I should be going -- I'll see you later."

"Yeah -- see you later." Chris says quietly, and Jessie leaves.  Chris sees that Jessie has left her scarf on the couch.  He picks it up and holds it close and sighs . . . . . .



December 5, 2000 -- "Midnight -- sweetie, where are you?" Lucy says, calling through the house.

"Lucy -- what are you doing?" Kevin asks, coming downstairs.

"I can't find Midnight -- she was here about an hour ago, just before you got home -- and now she's gone."

"She's probably outside." Kevin says.  "It's getting late -- let's go to bed.  I'm going back to work tomorrow, I don't want to be late."

"Doc, are you sure you're ready to go back?" Lucy asks.

"Lucy -- I love the twins, I really do, but my goal in life isn't to stay home around the clock playing Mr. Mom -- I had a nice, long talk with Victor tonight, and he and I both agree that I'm ready to go back."

"Well, okay -- but Doc, if these strange things start happening again, you have to promise me that --"

"Lucy, you know I've been seeing Gail regularly -- I'm fine.  Now come on, let's go to bed."

"Okay, but -- I'll be right back, I just want to go outside and see if I can find Midnight.  She's never taken off like this since we found her." Lucy says.

"You know, I'm starting to get a little jealous here -- ever since I found that damn cat, between her, the twins, and Sigmund, you barely have time for me anymore." Kevin says.

"Oh, don't be silly -- I'll be right back." Lucy says.  She grabs a flashlight and goes outside, calling out for the missing cat.  "Midnight -- come here, kitty, kitty.  Where's my little angel?" Lucy says, looking around outside.  She walks up and down the driveway.  "Midnight?  Where are you?" she says.  She walks next to Kevin's car, and sees something lying on the
ground next to it.  She shines the flashlight downward, then lets out a loud scream when she sees the cat lying next to the car, dead.


Chapter 4


Kevin comes into the house, where Lucy is sitting on the couch in tears.  Kevin walks over and sits down next to her, a look of shock on his face.  "She was -- just a little baby." Lucy says, still crying.

"Lucy, I --"

"Doc -- please, it's not your fault.  I don't know how she got out, but -- well, it's pretty dark out there, and you probably pulled up and didn't even see her and --"

"Lucy, the cat didn't die from being run over.  She -- she was strangled to death." Kevin says.  Lucy looks up at him, shocked, as Kevin walks away from her. 

"Strangled?  Doc, how would something like that --"

"I don't know, Lucy!" Kevin shouts.  "You said you just saw her in the house not too long ago, right?"

"Yes, just before you got -- no, Doc, you can't be thinking that you --"

"Lucy -- it's not like we live in the suburbs.  Who else would be around here?"

"You would never hurt a sweet, innocent animal.  Kevin please -- you didn't do this." Lucy says.

"What if I did, Lucy?  How else can you explain what happened?"

"I -- I don't know, but --"

"Well, I do.  And I don't think I have another choice now." Kevin says.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean -- I have to go, Lucy.  I can't stay here." Kevin says.

"Doc, no -- no, you can't do that!  The twins, they'll --"

"That's exactly why I have to go.  Lucy, what if I am losing my mind again?  I'm not willing to take that chance and put my children or you at risk.  I'm taking an indefinite leave of absence from work this time, and I'm doing what I should have done months ago, when all of this started."  Kevin heads upstairs and starts to pack.  Lucy follows him.

"Where are you going?" Lucy asks.  Kevin turns around.

"I'm voluntarily checking myself into Concord Psychiatric Hospital." Kevin says.

"Doc!" Lucy shouts.  "Doc, please don't do this, I'm begging you!"

"Lucy -- the last time things like this started happening, I ignored them.  And I ended up almost killing one of our best friends.  I'm not willing to go through that a second time.  Please -- I'm doing this because I love you, and I love our children -- and I don't want anything to happen to you."  Lucy is in tears, watching him pack. 

"Do you -- want me to take you there?" she asks, realizing that there's no way she'll change Kevin's mind.

"It's late, and the kids are asleep -- I'll call a cab."  Kevin says.  He goes downstairs and calls a cab, and waits for it to arrive.  When the cab pulls up, Kevin heads toward the door.  Lucy gets up and follows him.

"Doc -- please don't do this." she begs.

"I don't have a choice, Lucy.  I love you too much to stay here and put you at risk."  He pulls Lucy into a kiss.  "I'll be back."

"I'll come and see you tomorrow -- I love you, Doc." Lucy says.

"I love you, too." Kevin says, and leaves.  Lucy leans up against the door and breaks down crying.


December 10, 2000. Chris is alone in his apartment, going over some notes.  The doorbell rings. It's Jessie.

''Hi, is Eve here? I just wanted to drop off some stuff I borrowed from her.''

''Yeah, well she's not home -- you can put it in her room.'' Chris snaps, and immediately goes back to his notes.

''Boy, you're in a lousy mood, Ramsey.'' she comments. ''What's your problem?''

''My problem is your friend was supposed to help me prepare for my final review in front of the GH board, and the minute her latest object of desire calls she's out the door faster than you can say 'rebound relationship.' Not that I'm surprised -- it's not the first time she'd put her pathetic excuse for a love life ahead of everything else, including her supposed friends.''

Jessie looks puzzled at how upset Chris is over this. ''Hey, were you two ever --''

Chris stops her. ''Please! Do I look like an idiot to you?'' he pauses, and becomes more serious. ''I'd have done just about anything for Eve, but I would have been nothing more than a consolation prize for her. I'm not that desperate. And whenever the going gets tough for me, Dr. Lambert does a disappearing act.''

''Well, I'm not doing anything tonight.'' Jessie states. ''I can help you if you want.''

''No thanks. I don't need my defense to be prepared by the Psychic Friends Network!'' Chris quips.

''You really think I'm a flake, don't you?'' Chris says nothing, and tries to ignore her. ''Would it surprise you to know that I graduated at the top of my class in nursing school? Or how about that I was offered the position of head OR nurse at one of the best hospitals in the country out in Los Angeles. The reason I moved to Port Charles was to be close to my family. After my
father died, I didn't have anyone else but Uncle Victor and Kevin -- my mom died when I was a teenager, and I didn't have any brothers or sisters. So when the job offer from GH came, I decided to come out here and get re-acquainted with the only relatives I had left. Now, do you want me to help you or not?'' she asks.

Chris sighs. ''Why not.'' He hands her a stack of papers. ''Take a good hard look at the life and times of Christopher Ramsey. It's all right here -- I'm sure you'll find after reading this that all the rumors are true.''

Jessie begins to read. After several minutes, she looks up. ''Chris, can I ask you something?''

''What?'' he asks.

''No offense, but -- why are you such a butthead?''

''Excuse me?'' Chris says.

''I mean, all these stupid things you did -- what was the point? You always got caught, it did more harm than good in the long run -- and yet you kept screwing up again and again. Now either you have the lowest self-esteem in the world, or you're just plain stupid! I've worked with you for a few months now -- and you're one of the best damn surgeons I've ever seen. You're probably one of the best doctors in general that I've worked with. So why do you insist on doing such stupid stuff?'' Jessie asks.

''Trust me, you're not the first person to ask me that question.'' Chris replies.

''So what's the deal? Why can't you just be a doctor and be done with it? Who are you trying to impress, anyway? Are you in this business to make money or to save lives?''

''Why can't it be both?'' Chris asks.

''There's no reason it can't be both.'' Jessie states. ''But saving lives should always come before making money. Don't you think so?''

''Are you going to help me here or are you going to lecture me all night?'' Chris asks, somewhat frustrated.

''I don't know -- you're probably in dire need of a good lecture.''

''Yeah, well save it! There's nothing you can possibly say to me that I haven't already thought. I've screwed up, big time, in more ways than I care to think about. And I've done everything I can and then some to make up for it. I've been on probationary status at GH for over a year now, and in a few weeks I could very well be unemployed if the board doesn't decide to
reinstate all of my hospital privileges. Any form of punishment that's come my way I most certainly deserve. And I'm more than sorry for all of my screw-ups. I don't know what else I can do to make up for it -- I've done everything humanly possible to my knowledge.'' Chris pauses, almost to the point of tears. ''I just want to be a doctor now, and put all this behind
me.'' He stops -- Jessie says nothing. ''What, no comments?'' he asks.

''I really don't have anything to add.'' she states. ''That's a pretty good defense if you ask me.''

''Yeah, well let's hope the board sees it that way.'' Chris states.

Jessie takes his hand and tries to comfort him. ''Chris, I know you're not a bad guy. And I don't want to see you lose your job. So whatever you need, I'm here to help.''

"And what's in it for you?'' Chris asks sarcastically.

''What, I can't just do this out of the goodness of my heart?'' Jessie asks, smiling.

''There's no such thing.'' Chris states. ''People always have a reason. Now what's yours?'' Chris asks suspiciously.

''How's this for a reason?'' Jessie kisses him softly on the lips, then pulls him into an embrace and starts to kiss him harder, with more passion. Chris strokes her hair and kisses her back -- Jessie starts to unbutton his shirt, but Chris stops her.

''You know, as tempting as this is -- I really need to get to work on this.'' Chris states, regaining his composure.

''Okay -- let's get busy on your defense preparation. But I expect to pick up where we left off at some point -- hopefully sooner rather than later.'' she states. She heads off to the kitchen to get something to drink.

''You better believe it.'' Chris says to himself, surprised at what just occurred, and even more surprised at his reaction.

Early the next morning, Chris pours himself a cup of coffee and turns and looks over at Jessie, who is lying on the couch, asleep.  Chris walks over to the couch and sits down on the edge of it.  He watches Jessie sleep for a moment, then starts to nudge her awake.  "Hey -- time to get up, sleepyhead." he says.  Jessie wakes up and looks up at him.

"Mmm.  When did I fall asleep?" she asks.

"About two o'clock -- I figured I'd just let you sleep here tonight.  Thanks again for helping me last night." Chris says, as Jessie sits up.  "Do you want some coffee?"

"No thanks, I never touch that stuff.  Do you mind if I use your shower?" she asks.

"Go ahead." Chris tells her. 

"Hey, I think we have the same shift today, so -- you can ride with me to work if you want." Jessie says.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Chris says.  "I mean -- people might get the -- wrong impression."

"Yeah.  We can't have that, can we?" Jessie says, obviously frustrated, and she starts to get up and head into the other room.

"Jess, I --" Chris begins.

"What?" Jessie asks.

"Nevermind." Chris says.  Jessie sighs and walks out of the room, as Chris watches her in frustration.



That same morning, Lucy enters Kevin's room at Concord.  He's standing by the window, looking outside.  "Doc?" she says quietly.

"Hi." he says, turning around.  Lucy walks up to him and hugs him tightly. 

"I'm sorry I didn't get here yesterday, but -- Dom's fever was a little high and I just didn't want to --"

"It's okay, I understand -- how is she now?" Kevin asks.

"She's better -- it was nothing serious, just an bit of a cold." Lucy says.  "How are things -- going here?"

"Good.  I'm -- I'm glad I came here, Lucy.  I think it was for the best, for both of us."

"When are you -- coming home?" Lucy asks.

"I don't know." Kevin says.

"I -- Kevin, this is the first Christmas for the twins, and I -- I just don't think I want to spend it like this, with you in here, and us all alone and --"

"I'll be home for Christmas, Lucy -- I promise, even if it's for a few days.  I've been working on something really special for you -- I can't wait for you to see it."

"I can't wait either, Doc." Lucy says.  She pulls him into a kiss.  "You know, I was really hoping that -- well, that you'd come here, and see that you were wrong, and that you didn't need to be here, because you're not crazy Doc -- there's gotta be some explanation for the things that have been happening, but -- Kevin, if you were going to that dark place again,
I'd know it.  And I just don't feel that you are."

"Lucy -- I know you don't, because you don't want to.  But I have to accept what's happening, and deal with it -- and so do you.  I refuse to put people I care about at risk again.  I have to do this."

"You're wrong, Doc -- I don't know how I'm going to get you to believe that, but this is all just a big mistake.  I'll prove it to you somehow."

"I wish it was, Lucy, I really do.  I -- I have a group session right now, I have to go.  Give the twins a hug and kiss for me, okay?"

"Okay." Lucy says.  Kevin kisses her on the cheek.

"We'll get through this." he whispers.  "I love you, Lucy." Kevin says, and he leaves.  Lucy walks around Kevin's room for a few minutes, glancing at the photo of herself, Kevin and the twins on his nightstand.

"Oh, Doc." she says, picking up the photo and holding it close, crying.


Dec. 12, 2000 . . . . . Chris is in the on-call room, sitting on the couch and going over some of his notes.  Jessie enters.  "Hey Ramsey -- got any plans tonight?"  she asks.

"What did you have in mind?"  Chris asks, somewhat curious.

"I just wanted to know if you'd like to go out tonight, that's all."  Jessie says.  Chris is intrigued, yet hesitant at the same time.

"And do what?" he asks.

"Well, how about I surprise you!"  Jessie replies.

Chris becomes a bit more hesitant.  "Surprise me?  I don't know about this -- look, if this is about what happened the other night at the apartment, I'm willing to just forget about it if you are."

"Now, why would I want to do that?"  Jessie asks, sitting down on the couch next to him.

"Because we have nothing in common, because you annoy me, because --"

Jessie kisses him to stop him from continuing.  "Still want to forget about it?"  she asks, grinning.  Chris pulls her into a long, hard kiss -- then pushes her away.

"Look, this is nuts.  No offense, but -- well, I don't like you.  No, that's not what I meant.  I mean, I like you, but not as anything more than a friend.  No, I mean -- okay, maybe I am just a little intrigued by you, but it's a totally physical thing.  Well, maybe not totally physical, but
---"

Jessie is quite amused by his rambling, but finally cuts him off.  "Ramsey, you know what your problem is?  You're never spontaneous enough.  Haven't you ever done anything just -- oh, I don't know -- wild and crazy and totally not like you?"  she asks.

"Oh yeah -- I'm a real wild and crazy sort of guy.  See, this is why we need to stop this before we get started.  My idea of a fun evening is either dinner at a five-star restaurant and a play, or else just staying at home eating pizza and watching football.  Your idea of fun is -- well, I
really don't know what it is.  But I'm sure I'd hate it." 

"Oh, I think there are some things we'd both have fun at."  Jessie suggests, smiling.  "And besides, you never know *what* you'll like until you try it.  Now, do you want to go out tonight or not?"  Jessie asks.

Chris pauses for a moment.  "What the hell,"  he finally says.  "What time do you want me to pick you up?"

"Hey -- who asked who out here?  I'll pick *you* up -- around 11 o'clock."

"11 o'clock?  What are we gonna do, go grave-robbing?"  Chris asks sarcastically.

"You'll see."  Jessie says, somewhat laughing.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to regret this?"  Chris asks.

"Oh, where's your sense of adventure, Ramsey?"  Jessie asks.  "See you tonight -- oh, and don't dress real conservatively or anything -- that won't go over too well where we're going." she hints, then leaves. 

"Yup, I'm gonna regret this big time."  Chris says to himself. 

Later that evening, the doorbell rings at Chris apartment.  Chris opens the door, and his jaw about drops to the floor when he sees Jessie.  She's wearing what appears to be a maid's outfit, and her hair and makeup are outlandish -- almost as if she were going to a costume party.   Chris is stunned -- he pulls her inside the apartment and quickly closes the door. 
"What the hell is this?"  he asks.  "Did people see you come up to my place dressed like this?"

"I always dress like this when I go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show."  Jessie smiles.  Now come on, we don't want to be late!"

"The Rocky Horror -- oh, you've *got* to be kidding me!  THAT'S what you wanted me to go tonight?  Forget it!  There's no way in hell you're dragging me to something like that!"

"Hey, you promised -- this is your big chance to loosen up!  Do something wild and crazy for a change!" 

"No way!"  Chris states.  "You couldn't pay me to do this -- I'm not  this desperate for a date yet, thank GOD!" 

"You said you'd give it a try -- being spontaneous, I mean."

"Yeah, well I lied.  I do that a lot -- ask anybody!"  Chris says.

"Chris, come on -- it'll be fun." 

"For who?  This is a joke, right?  You can't possibly be serious here, thinking that I would actually go along with you on this one.  You're nuts!" 


"Oh come on, Chris.  A promise is a promise." 

"What if someone sees me there?"

"Who will see you there that knows you?  Come on -- can you picture any of the folks we work with going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show?"

"NO -- but with my luck, you probably invited them all tonight!"

"Chris, just put your jacket on and let's go -- I don't want to be late."

"What part of ‘no way in hell' do you not understand, Jessie?"

"Hey, I stayed here with you for HOURS the other night helping you with your defense.  You asked what I wanted in exchange.  Well -- this is it."

"Can't I just buy you dinner or something?"

"Nope.  You owe me, Ramsey.  Now let's go."

Chris sighs, and reluctantly puts on his jacket.  "If you tell anyone about this, I swear I will strangle you!" 

"My lips are sealed!"  Jessie says, and they leave.


December14, 2000 -- Jessie goes to visit Kevin at Concord.  She knocks on his door and opens it a crack.  "Up for some company?" she asks.

"Sure!" Kevin says, walking up to Jessie and giving her a hug.

"Nice place you've got her." she says.

"Thanks." Kevin says. 

"I -- I've been meaning to come and see you, but -- Kevin, you don't belong here.  Lucy misses you, the twins miss you -- everyone at GH misses you." Jessie says. 

"And let me guess -- you've been sent to tell me to come home."

"No, I -- I decided to come and tell you that all on my own.  Kevin, come on -- I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for what's been happening to you."

"You mean other than the fact that I just might be losing my mind.  Come on, Jessie -- you know what our family history is like." Kevin says.

"Yeah, and I know that you already fought off your demons a long time ago, and you WON, Kevin."  Jessie pauses for a moment.  "You're not Ryan."

"I know." Kevin says.  "I just -- I need answers, Jessie.  Too many strange things have been going on lately -- and I can't explain any of them."

"Kevin, you've been here over a week.  And you haven't found any answers yet."

"Jessie -- I know you mean well.  But I have to do this my way.  You wouldn't understand."

"I guess not." Jessie says.  "I hope you come home soon -- we miss you, Kevin."

"I miss everyone too." Kevin says.  "Thanks for coming by."

"I'll come back soon.  You take care of yourself." Jessie says.  She gives him a hug and leaves.  Kevin gets up and uncovers a painting he's been working on -- it's a portrait of Lucy with the twins.  Kevin smiles as he continues painting.

"Lucy's gonna love this." he says to himself.


December 16, 2000 -- Eve sees Jessie in the oncall room.  She hangs up the phone, exasperated.  "Damn!" she says to herself.

"What's wrong?" Eve asks.

"I'm trying to find a place to stay for a few days while my house is being painted and carpeted and everything -- all the hotels around here are booked solid, and -- hey, any chance I can stay at your place?  You won't even know I'm there, I swear."  Eve laughs.

"Oh, no -- I know why you want to stay with me -- Jessie, give it up.  Chris is a lost cause, you're never gonna win him over."

"Never say never." Jessie says.  "Come on -- it's for three or four days, tops.  I'll even do all the cooking while I'm there."

"I really should ask Chris first." Eve says.

"How about I just surprise him -- I'll take full responsibility if he's mad, I swear."

"You're not planning to sneak into his bedroom in the middle of the night or anything, are you?" Eve asks, half-jokingly.

"Maybe." Jessie teases.

"Jess!"

"Of course not -- unless he wants me to." Jessie says, grinning.  "Look -- I'd ask Lucy, but Kevin's coming home in a couple of days, and I don't want to be underfoot over there."

"How's Kevin doing?" Eve asks.

"Fine.  Poor guy -- so many things have been happening to him lately, and he just doesn't know how to handle it."

"Well, Lucy could drive anyone crazy -- even Kevin." Eve says.

"Hey -- don't start.  I wish you and Lucy would stop this silly feud of yours, it's beyond stupid and pointless.  Now -- can I stay with you or not?"

"Fine." Eve says.  "But if Chris kicks me out because of this, I'm moving in with YOU!"

"It's a deal." Jessie says.  Eve goes into her locker and gets out a set of keys. 

"Here, this is a spare set I have -- I might have to work late tonight, so you can just let yourself in and make yourself at home.  If I see Chris, I'll let him know we're having a houseguest."

"Thanks Eve -- I really appreciate this."  Jessie says, and she leaves.

"And I really hope I don't end up regretting it." Eve says to herself.



Later that afternoon, Chris walks up to his apartment door and hears loud music playing from the other side.  Chris opens the door and sees Jessie sitting on the couch unpacking a suitcase while the stereo blares loudly . .
. .

Cause I've got my own way
I can find my own way
Cause I've got my own way . . .

"What the hell is going on in here?" Chris shouts over the blaring music.  Jessie turns the stereo down a bit.

"I was just unpacking some of my things -- sorry if I bothered you." Jessie says.

"Unpacking?" Chris asks, looking at everything scattered across the living room.

"Oh, Eve didn't tell you?  My house is being painted and stuff, so Eve said I could stay here for a few days.  Lucy offered, but -- she's got enough on her mind right now, I don't want to bother her.  You don't mind, do you?"

"It would have been nice to have been informed, given that it's MY apartment and all." Chris says.

"I thought you and Eve shared the place."

"We share the rent -- barely." Chris says.  "Eve is only living here because she doesn't have anyone else in town to mooch off of, and I'm too big of a sucker to kick her out."

"Sounds like you're just a good friend to me." Jessie says.  "You know I'd -- like to be your friend too." Jessie says, moving closer to Chris.

"You don't give up, do you?" Chris asks.  "For the last time -- this wouldn't work.  I could give you a typewritten list of all the reasons for that, but I just don't have the time.  So if you'll excuse me, I'll just --" Jessie stops him by pulling him into a kiss.  Chris hesitates for a moment, then kisses her back.

"You were saying?" Jessie asks.  Chris pulls Jessie into his arms, and aggressively starts to unbutton her blouse.  Jessie removes his shirt in the same fashion, and they fall onto the couch as the music continues to play softly in the background . . . .

Even on the darkest night
When empty promise means empty hand
And soldiers coming home like shadows turning red
When the lights of hope are fading quickly
Then look to me
I'll be your homing angel
I'll be in your head

Because you're lonely in your nightmare, let me in
And there's heat beneath your winter, let me in

Must be lucky weather
When you find the kind of wind that you need
Come on, show me all the light and shame
That made your name
I know you've got it in your head
I've seen that look before
You've built your refuge
Turns you captive all the same

Because you're lonely in your nightmare, let me in
And it's barren in your garden, let me in
Because there's heat beneath your winter, let me in . . . . . .

Suddenly the door bursts open, and Eve walks in.  "Oh my god, Chris, you will not believe what I just --" Eve stops and her jaw drops as Jessie and Chris sit up.  Chris reaches down for their shirts, which have been tossed on the floor.  "I -- I'm sorry, I didn't --"

"It's okay Eve -- this never should have happened anyway." Chris says.  He finishes buttoning his shirt and goes into his room, not even glancing back.  Jessie sits sadly on the couch and sighs.

"Why won't he let me in, Eve?" Jessie asks.  "Why does he keep pushing me away?"

"It didn't look like he was pushing you away when I walked in here." Eve says.  "Look -- Chris has a lot on his mind.  His review is in just a few weeks and he's scared to death."

"I know -- I helped him the other night.  We were up until about two a.m.  And then we went out two nights ago -- we had so much fun.  I just know he has feelings for me -- why won't he tell me?"

"Jess -- Chris isn't one to open up to people.  You need to give him time."

"Well, I'm gonna find out what his problem is." Jessie says.  She storms over to Chris door and knocks on it.  "Chris -- we need to talk." she says.  No answer.  "Dammit, Chris, let me in there!" Jessie shouts.  After a few more minutes, Chris finally opens the door.

"What?" Chris says.  Jessie barges into his room. 

"So -- you were just gonna storm into here, and totally blow me off, huh?" Jessie asks.  Chris doesn't say a word.  "What is it with you, Ramsey?  Are you so hell bent on making yourself miserable that you can't even allow yourself to feel something for me?"

"You don't understand --"

"No, I don't.  Because there's clearly something between us -- and you keep pushing me away.  And I want to know why." Jessie says.

"Jessie -- I don't know what kind of future I have.  You may be looking at a future grocery bag boy, depending on the outcome of my hearing.  I can't ask you to take that kind of risk." Chris says.

"Do you think I care?  How shallow do you think I am?"

"You're not -- shallow at all." Chris says.

"Okay then." Jessie says, putting her arms around him and kissing him on the cheek.  "I want you to look me straight in the eye Chris, and tell me you want me to leave, and I will."  Chris hesitates for a moment.

"I -- can't do that." he finally says.

"Good -- cause I wasn't planning on it.  Besides -- I'm your temporary roommate for a few days, and -- well, your couch isn't all that comfortable, so --" Jessie begins to unbutton his shirt, but Chris stops her.

"Jess -- let's wait, okay?" he says. 

"I think you've waited long enough." Jessie teases, ignoring his request.

"So then a few more weeks won't matter." Chris says, pushing her away.  "Just until after the hearing."  Jessie sighs.  "Hey -- I know you're not the type who goes for any of this ˜macho pride' nonsense -- but I just want to make sure that you're not gonna wind up with some loser.  You deserve better than that."

"Chris -- you're not a loser, and you never will be.  If this is the way you want it, though -- I'll be patient.  But I promise you -- after that hearing, we are going to celebrate." Jessie suggests.  "So -- you're okay with me crashing here for a few days?"

"Just as long as you don't make me eat veggie burgers." Chris teases.  Jessie laughs.

"I won't, I promise." she says, kissing him on the cheek.  "Thanks, Chris -- oh, and -- if you change your mind about the sleeping arrangements -- you know where to find me." she playfully suggests. 


December 25, 2000 -- Kevin, Lucy, Victor and Mary are at the Lighthouse.  "Monk -- you don't know how good it is to have you back home." Victor says.

"It's good to be home, Victor." Kevin says.

"You're staying here now, right?" Victor asks.

"That's the plan.  I think I've worked through everything -- I'm hoping anyway." Kevin says.

"Of course you have -- and we couldn't be happier." Lucy says, kissing Kevin on the cheek.

"Isn't Jessie coming over?" Mary asks.

"Yes, she -- she said she's bringing someone too.  I don't know who -- I think she wants to surprise us." Lucy says.  Just then, the doorbell rings at the Lighthouse.  Lucy goes to open it.  "Jessie!  Merry Christmas -- come on in." she says. 

"I brought someone with me -- I hope you don't mind." Jessie says, entering the house with Chris, holding his hand.

"Of course we don't -- mind." Lucy says, getting a surprised look on her face when Chris enters the house with her. 

"Merry Christmas, Lucy." Chris says, handing her a bottle of wine.

"Thank you." Lucy says.  "So -- are you two --"

"Yes." Jessie says.  "Chris and I are together."

"Excuse me?" Kevin says, entering the room, holding Daniel in his arms.  He sets Daniel down in the playpen next to Dominique.  "You're what?"

"I told you this was a bad idea, Jess." Chris says.

"No, it's not.  Kevin -- who I date really isn't any of your business." Jessie insists. 

"It is when you're dating someone with a questionable reputation." Kevin says.

"Said the ex-stalker, current mental patient himself psychiatrist." Chris chimes in.

"Chris -- please, you promised you wouldn't do this." Jessie says.

"Jessie, can I talk to you for a minute?  In private?" Kevin asks.  Jessie sighs and goes into the kitchen with Kevin.

"I know what you're going to say -- but Kevin, Chris and I are --"

"Jessie -- Chris is a user.  He's a con man.  And odds are he's probably just after your --"

"No, he's NOT!" Jessie shouts.  "He doesn't even know about that."

"How do you know?  I've seen him almost destroy people, Jessie -- and I don't want to see your name added to the list.  Look, given my current situation, I know I'm not in any place to judge you -- but please, be careful.  I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Chris wouldn't do that to me -- I know it in my heart."

"Jessie -- I know you.  Ever since you were a little girl, you've always wanted to see the good in people.  But sometimes there just isn't any -- that's a fact of life."

"Kevin, you don't know Chris.  He's not who you think he is.  Not to me."

"I'm not convinced.  Just be careful, okay?" Kevin says.

"I will." Jessie says, and they go back into the living room.  Jessie sits down next to Chris, who looks very uncomfortable. 

"Jessie -- maybe I should go." Chris says.  Jessie takes his hand.

"No way.  They'll just have to accept us -- and they will, sooner or later."

"Yeah, sure -- when hell freezes over." Chris says.  Lucy starts to make an announcement. 

"Excuse me everyone, but -- my Doc says that he has a really, really special surprise for me and -- he wants all of you to see it when I do, so -- where is it, Doc?"

"It's in my den -- I'll go get it, I'll be right back." Kevin says. 

"Oh, this should be good.  What'd he do, make her an ashtray while he was at Concord?" Chris whispers to Jessie.  Jessie slaps him in the arm.

"I told you to cut that out!" Jessie says.  Meanwhile, in his den, Kevin walks up to the portrait he has worked so hard on of Lucy and the twins.  He walks up to it and removes the cover, then gets a look of horror on his face when he looks at it.  The background of the portrait, which was once a solid white, has been changed to splatters of fiery red, looking as if Lucy and the twins are engulfed in flames in the photo.  Kevin sits down at his desk, staring at the portrait in shock.  Several minutes later, Lucy opens the door.

"Doc -- everyone one is waiting, is there --" Lucy stops as she turns and looks at the portrait, then gasps in horror . . . . . . .