Sunday, April-23-2006, 10:11 AM|
Everybody have fears, likes and dislikes. And I think I've been reasonable. I understand the things that people avoid and I don't try forcing people to do things that they dun like, and I don't try to impose a mentality on anyone (at least I think that I don't try). Why can't I be treated the same? Why can't people just understand that there are some things that I don't like and leave me alone with it. Why can't they see what I've done and do the same. Why are they disillusioned into thinking that things that aren't their way isn't the right way. Why can't they just leave me alone. I'm only human too.
Tuesday, April-18-2006, 8:34 AM
Just came back from Easter Camp yesterday and just woke up from a 12-hour sleep. It feels good to be back in reality, as I went out to check my mailbox and I saw ppl dressed in suits and getting ready to work, ppl dressed in tracks and jogging around the Carlton gardes, the smell of city life...the past 4 days feels like a dream. Indeed, maybe it's one of those post-camp syndromes, when you still want things the way they were. Running around and screaming into the walkie-talkie to get Bebek to shut up isn't what I enjoyed the most, but still, it was a memorable camp.
Lots of positive feedbacks, some good stuff, some bad events, but all in all, everybody enjoyed themselves and hopefully, they will come join ISM and get to know the love of God. Afterall, that's what Easter is all about.
Saturday, March-11-2006, 3:00 PM
This is it. My new Zero Custom:
Intel Pentium 4 Processor 630, LGA775 @ 3.00 GHz
ASUS P5LD2 Motherboard
Socket LGA775 / Dual Core CPU / Intel 945P+ICH7R Chipset
FSB 1066/800/533 Mhz
Dual Channel DDR2 667/533/400 Memory
1 x PCI-E x16 / 3 x PCI-E x1 / 3 x PCI
ICH7R with Intergrated SATA2, UltraDMA and RAID 0,1,5,10
Marvell PCIe 88E8053 Gigabit LAN Controller
8 x USB2.0 ports
Realtek ALC882 HD 8-Channel Audio / S/DPIF out Interface
Intel Hyper-Threading Technology / Hyper Path 3 / Fanless Design
ASUS AI Life Features (AI NET 2, Quiet, NOS)
1024MB PC4200 Kingston DDR2 RAM @ 533MHz
ASUS 256MB PCI-E Extreme ATI Radeon X800 with VIVO
Creative Sound Blaster Audigy DE (with IEEE 1394 interface)
Seagate Barracuda 80GB HDD @ 7200 rpm (Master)
Seagate Barracuda 80GB HDD @ 7200 rpm (Slave)
Panasonic 1.44MB 3.5" FDD
Lite-On LTR-48246S 48x 24x 48x CD-RW
Lite-On SHW-1635S 16x DL DVD-RW
Samsung SyncMaster 740n 17" LCD Monitor
Logitech Z-560 4.1 Speakers with THX Certifcation
Logitech QuickCam Pro 4000
Microsoft Multimedia Keyboard
Microsoft IntelliMouse Optical
Microsoft Windows XP Professional Service Pack 2 (Original Copy!)
Microsoft Office XP 2003 Professional
3 x Cooler Master PTC-A24 Round IDE Cables
1 x Cooler Master TLF-R82 (Blue) Neon LED Fan
1 x Cooler Master SAF-B82 Case Fan
1 x Cold Cathode Fluorescent Lamp (Blue)
Thermaltake 430W ATX Power Supply
Probably beat any low-budget computer at the moment. Haven't had any complaints yet. And I just sold my sucky Epson C40 to some idiot. Haha. My next target is the HP Deskjet 1280, Seagate 300GB SATA HDD, and Netgear WG834R. So many things, so little money.
Just wanna congratulate Julie for her graduation 2 days ago. Had the priviledge of attending the ceremony as well. Very proud of you girl.
Yesterday's soccer was so good. I didn't score though I provided assists to YX and Vic. I was on form yesterday. Could get past almost everybody and I even kept the ball in with a Roulette and almost evaded my marker with a little flick with half my vision impaired (coz this Cass guy hit the ball at my eye and some idiot passed the ball to me while I was still reeling and rubbing the tears off it). But it was a nice game. Would have played longer if the MU Futsol Team haven't been such an ass.
Tuesday, February-14-2005, 12:37 PM
I bought a Chronoforce yesterday for RM300. It's Swiss made, although I've never heard of it. There's always that mixed feeling of regret and regret after you get something pricey though.
Had the best soccer yesterday. Not many people showed up. 7-on-7, just the right number for the size of the field and I got so much of the ball too. I dunno if it's me, but it felt unusually hot yesterday. I sweat more than I usually do and I feel short of breath at times.
Couldn't sleep at all last night either coz I had this gastric problem. Din feel hungry (or eat) for the whole day and woke up in the middle of the night with a stomachache. Maybe it's the heat...:(
Sunday, February-12-2006, 11:44 AM
Boro run riot as they condemn Chelsea to their heaviest defeat since Mourinho took over, and rightly deserved. Cech as best keeper? No chance, considering he couldn't save a penalty let alone save a shot deceived by a Mendieta fake. And Yakubu evaded both Terry and Carvalho to allow himself a shot on goal. Terry's not such a good defender afterall. Highbury still remains Arsenal's fortress as Gilberto grabbed a last gasp equaliser to prevent Bolton from beating them at home since 1977. And WTH teams like Bolton play with such negative tactics - taking forever to take a goal kick, diving at every opportunity, taking 2 minutes to make a change and injurying a 21-year-old spaniard with a 2-footed tackle (which really should have been a red). They packed the penalty box with 10 men, trying to stifle out Arsenal's late barrage and regardless of how some may think it's lucky, I think they deserved it how even a makeshift and young side could draw with a superior and more experienced team (on paper). When Ljungberg and Flamini have to play as full-backs, you can tell it's not a good day for Arsenal.
Somewhere across the world, Real Madrid win again. 2-0 against Atl. Bilbao, goals from Robinho and Raul Bravo. Madrid's playing pretty sexy football these days. And they're gonna play Arsenal in 9 days time in the Champs League. Won't miss that game for the world.
Haven't been playing football myself lately coz the usual field is now a venue for a tournament that will last until 19 Feb and there's really no other place to play but I'm still carrying a bruised shin so I guess I can use some rest. I did get to injure someone back when I was playing with Desmond's brother's friends. He really should have worn boots. But he played rough on me the last few times so I think he just deserved that. I dun care if you're 18 or 19. Mess with the best, die like the rest. And this other kid wearing a MU jersey tackled me from behind too. Have pride when you play with that jersey on, man. You're lucky coz I won't say anything about you due to political reasons.
Moving to other sports, the power struggle in WWE has moved to Cena and Edge, and former champs like Triple H and Big Show are just mere contenders for the title. The superstars nowadays are just plain boring. Crap personality and no attitude. Carlitos is just gay. Chris Masters' probably gay too. Women don't wrestle like they do during Sable and Trish's time. Maria's just another bimbo. Lita only flashes (not that I'm complaining. She's hot btw. How come Stacy Kiebler never does that? Where is she now anyway?). And how come Mick Foley get to come back to Wrestlemania. Bring back The Rock or Stone Cold. And there's this new branch called TNA Impact where out of contract superstars like Jeff Jarret and the Dudley Boys are at now. 6-sided ring. Cool stuff.
President Bush met at the White House with Jordan's King Abdullah. Yeah, there was one awkward moment when President Bush asked King Abdullah, "How is Queen Latifah?" And since he's wiretapping ppl's home phones and listening to their calls, I think he should pay half of the phone-sex bill too. Bush also unveiled his new $2 trillion budget. I guess he has to settle with $2 trillion after being told that $2 bazillion is not a real number. And speaking of money, Arnold Schazzie's campaign is a few hundred thousand dollars in debt. So it looks like there will be "Terminator 4".
Jay Leno on the Danish cartoon controversy:
"I'm sure you know by now Muslim groups are outraged and are rioting over cartoons that are appearing in European newspapers that they say are offensive. Now they have attacked something very important to President Bush. The comics."
"They're boycotting Danish products in the Muslim world. Luckily, not too many mosques are made out of Legos."
"President Bush is taking this very, very seriously. He's now asking all cartoon characters not to travel to the Middle East."
Cartoon characters shouldn't come to Malaysia too, coz the government made Sarawak Tribune (local newspaper) cease business cos they published those comics. Where will I read my comics now? I really thought those were funny.
Thursday, February-2-2006, 8:10 PM
I never liked politics, but I can't help picking on some of them:
There's a huge controversy after the Bush administration demanded that Google turn over records of people who search for pornography. You know, there's a legal term for those people: Men. They wanna know whose being looking up porn. You know what that means? We're all going to jail. It's about time they're conducting a war on pornography. You thought we had no allies in Iraq, oh my God! ... Remember the good old days during Clinton, when the White House was a porn site?
NASA launched its first-ever mission to Pluto, did you see this? The rocket took off to Pluto. Bush seems very excited about that. I didn't even know Pluto had oil.... Apparently this is Bush's last chance to find those weapons of mass destruction.
At a press conference the other day NASA announced that 2005 was the hottest year on record. It is so hot, and global warming is so bad, if the presidential election were held today, Al Gore would...still lose. He announced that he is finishing up a new book about global warming and the environment. Yeah, the first chapter should talk about how you shouldn't chop down trees to make a book that no one will read.
Watched the Golden Globes on satellite a few nights ago. They were so long that Dick Cheney probably taped it and is using it to torture detainees. The big winners were Brokeback Mountain, Capote and Transamerica. All movies with gay themes. Bush was asked by someone in the audience if he'd seen Brokeback Mountain during a conference. He said he hadn't seen it, but he'd be happy to talk about ranching. Ranching still means gay sex, right? It was reported today that US military bases will not show Brokeback Mountain. However, during interrogations, US troops will continue to show Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo :S
And this old edition of LA Times says that Attorney General John Ashcroft (must've been pretty old) wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair?
Saturday, January-21-2006, 2:24 PM
My car broke down in the middle of the city traffic lights and I don't think you can get any more attention than that. Not really the kind of sought-after attention though. Kinda sucky way to end the week.
Sometimes people just want to hear certain things to feel reassured. Some people are word people, they like to hear how much they are appreciated and stuff. Often, you don't get a lot of it. Some people seem to be very stingy at it or very generous. Some gets reluctant when they know that's what you want. Like they ask you what you wanna hear when they already know (they probably just wanna hear you say it too), and when they do, they won't say it. Guys have needs too. Beyond the exterior which most would like to give a tough impression of, there's still a soft side inside that likes being pampered once in a while. Giving too much without receiving the same amount back exhausts you. You can't help but start feeling dry and frustrated.
Nothing beats having a sister getting crazy beside you and staying stupid stuff when you're typing these things. Things don't feel so bad anymore.
Tuesday, January-3-2006, 11:26 PM
Home isn't that bad with cheap food that comes in 2 mins and Friends. And I mean the Rachael Monica Friends, coz in reality, no matter what rumours say, those kinda friends dun really exist. That's why it's called a TV show. I asked my friend if he knew where the Dutch comes from and he says the Netherlands. Like ya ha....that's just that make believe place where Peter Pan lives. See....all lies.
What's with all this tennis TV now. Some crap Fed Cup and Hopeman Cup. Tennis is this game where you hit a ball and hopes that it goes in. Coz if it doesn't go in, it goes out. And you really want it to be on the inside. That's why they have this amazing new technology called the Hawkeye that supposedly is a camera that replays the last spot where the ball dropped to enable the umpire to determine whether it was an in or an out. So before, u kinda can hope cos the ball travels some 110 km/h and u really are hoping that the linesman calls it wrong. So it really should be called Wishman Cup cos you're really wishing that such a technology doesn't exist coz hope doesn't anymore in tennis. And hawkeye is such a bad name coz it has a surprisingly low field of vision. A birds eye can see the whole city.
This friend who just graduated is drafting up a resume and was asking me to read it and I asked why. He said a good resume could guarantee him a job and all I did was hiss at him coz I know that is so not true. I knew someone who got a job coz I knew that someone and I asked that someone if that someone could work and that someone said ok and I told the someone that someone could work and that someone called someone and someone got the job. No interview, no resumes. It's all political.
Saturday, December-24-2005, 3:26 PM
For all the hype that it brings, Melb's quite boring on Christmas eve. There's almost nobody in the city. Take away the snow and put in the flies, I'm dunno what Herald Sun meant by saying Melb's the most sought after place to celebrate Christmas. It's like people saying Becks' the best player in England. Haha...
While I was browsing at friendster pics, I couldn't help but notice one thing. I'm so cute. It's true. Well, actually, it's how guys usually have their pics alone or with some other object while girls usually display their pics with other ppl in it. Stange but true. And I'm talking about the me being cute part.
I appreciate art. People don't seem to be able to see me as such a person. I'm heaps artiste, man. I like slick, stylish shoes. I like cool, kick-ass-looking computers. I like neat, sexy suits. Everything about me is pure beauty. Just look at my face. Mirage always say I like to look at pretty women (which is soooo not true, but for this argument, I'll just agree with her - ahuh ahuh ahuh). I guess it's her way of praising my appreciation of pleasing aesthetics.
Wednesday, November-30-2005, 12:31 PM
Bored. Everybody's gone. YX's gone. I hate to admit it, but life's a little bit more boring without him, coz there's no one to go out and do guys' stuff with, no one to play soccer with, no one to talk crap about women with and no one to play WE with. Was contemplating of working for the church office, but never really got my butt moving about it. I don't wanna do it alone....
Well, I've bought a DVD burner, and now that I have it, I dunno what to do with it. There seems to be so many other things that I want, but I have to resist myself, coz I have to start selling things first before I get anything. I have a new policy now. If I were to get something in the future, I'm gonna get the best possible one, coz I usually buy the cheapest and most reasonable one and eventually, I'll want the better one and I bought it too, which leaves me with 2 of the same type of objects and I have to try to sell the mediocre one. And if you'll believe it, I have a DVD-ROM and a CD-ROM, 1 radio, 1 tower casing and 1 20GB HDD collecting dust in the closet. Ahum ahum.
Thursday, November-17-2005, 11:51 AM
Black people make wierd movies. They're not movies. They're places. Like Barber Shop and now, Queen Latifah's new Beauty Shop. They should pick better titles if they're gonna get me to watch them.
Went fishing last Sunday. Shouldn't have bought burley coz we had natural ones halfway through the trip. It's gotto be one of my best moments in Melbourne. The rocking of the waves (and the boat tilting to one side coz we're an odd number and there's a really heavy member with us), the carass of the sea breeze, lots of booze and ooze. Away from the city and free to talk about women. Julian caught Krishna and Karla (I don't know whether to spell it in English or Indian) with my rod. So technically, those fishes are mine. What kinda name is Krishna and Karla anyway? I caught Mary and Mary Mary and Mary Mary Mary. Before they were swimming in the sea, now they're swimming in our stomachs. Hahaha....
Tried to re-arrage my room to accomodate 2 tables that I bought from a friend who left. But it's too big and there's no way I can fit them. So in the end, my room's a mess and I had to return everything to its original position, and I have to end up selling those tables. But the arrangement now is less ppl-friendly. Might not attract guests anymore, but that's the idea.
It can be so annoying talking to your parents sometimes. They're gonna come again end of this year and they're like "just get a double decker bed and put it in the living room". What's wrong with the beds we have now? I can always sleep in the living room. Can't you just share for a bit. It's easy to just say buy a new one. What're we gonna do with it after they left? And it's not a long-term stay anyway. A better alternative would just be not come? Geez. I'm trying to be a good son and a host but they're not making it easy for me. Where am I gonna get the money to buy all the junk? I still need to buy my own stuff. And do I look like a tour guide? You're gonna be here for a month or so and you expect me to be able to take you everywhere in Australia? I don't know anywhere other than Melbourne. We can do things like fishing and hiking, but I doubt mum would wanna do it. Sien. If they're gonna make so much fuss about my graduation, I'll just take the 3rd option - not attend the ceremony and just collect my certificate from the graudations office. And save me the $55 I have to pay for some stupid academic gown. It's pink man.... Why does my faculty have to pick that colour. This is so annyoing.
Oh yea. Was at Fed Square to watch the 2nd leg of the WC qualifiers between Aus and Uru with 10,000 other ppl (that's what the papers say). When Aloisi scored the final penalty, the whole square practically erupted. People started going "OZ OZ OZ", car horns started horning, flares go off everywhere, people started hugging everyone else but YX and I got out of the place coz there's this gay guy who just touched him. HAHAHAHAHA....You attract the wierdest ppl man. So yea, it's big news. Soccer's gonna be big in Aussie for the next 6 months now that we've qualified. For some reason, it was kinda emotional match. I only feel this way when I'm watching Arsenal vs MU in FA Cup finals. I guess somewhere deep inside, I really wanted Aus to win.
Monday, November-7-2005, 7:24 PM
SP's sermon during CW is still lingering in my mind. That you are defined by the things you let go. It's easy to say yes to everything, but it's not easy to say no to many things. And it is things that we say no that determine who we are. The things that we are willing to let go determine what values to us more. There are things that we can keep for a year or two, but ultimately we'll have to let them go. What is it that's important to you? What is it that you are finding it hard to let go, even though you know you can't hold on to it forever? We lose things only because we value them. Things are not lost because they have no value to us. What is it that you've lost?
I've lost my confidence in the Predator. It's half a size too big, and I've not gotten totally used to it yet. The touch's disappointing, the feel's uneasy. Adidas is definitely not for me. I'll stick to Nike from now on. The game was good for a while, I provided 2 assists in the opening, but towards the end, I think I'm just starting to get lazy.
I guess it never feels nice to feel vulnerable. When you need to depend on others so much, or when people around you are making a big fuss about you. As unfortunate as it sounds, I'm actually quite envy, coz I was never given such attention. On the day when I thought ppl will start to pamper me or at least pay a little bit more attention, they all acted as if they dun care, or they're busy or pre-occupied with something else. They don't ask how I was, even if some did, they just laughed at what I said and act as if it's not big deal. Maybe it's just the way society has been conditioned to treat boys in pain. Or, quite simply, I'm just not important enough..... Oh well, not that I'm not used to that already. Life is so unfair sometimes.
I've submitted my DV assignment. After tomorrow, I can start doing things that I've been wanting to do for a while. Photo hunting, shopping for my own things :D, website, editing videos...bla bla. Kinda broke these days coz I bought an expensive gift a few days ago, which means I have to remember to look for a job too. And that means my time to do all the above would be seriously limited. Hmm.....it amazes me how I'm so reluctant to part with my money (even though I eventually did) when it comes to my own things, but I can be so generous with others... :S At least it makes people happy :)
At the moment, all you hear about is a friend's departure. I don't really know her that well, but she's gone. There's nothing I can do about it.
Saturday, November-5-2005, 10:50 AM
I'm kinda in the middle of a crisis here coz my 3d's so far behind I'll have to lock myself up in my room for the next few days coz it's due on Monday, and I have an exam on Tuesday and I'm not even halfway through any of them.
Went to Chute's 21st birthday 2 days ago. Just another futile attempt to fit in, coz she's got all her physio friends whom I don't know over and some high-school friends whom I've not met for so long and whom are all happily settled away from you. Of course, she had JC over and just the way he talks kinda pisses me off, coz obviously, he doesn't think what happened before with P was not all that serious, and I think that his gf will look more attractive if she doesn't have that jerk next to her. But in the end, I was on the sofa watching 20to01 while the rest were playing Uno and talking....with everyone else. Haha....oh well. Not that I've not expected this in the first place.
Sometimes I really wonder whether I'm really that hard to please. Maybe it's just being at the wrong place at the wrong time. And I hate having to feel this way, or make other people feel the same way. I just want people to be happy, but the way I am, it just seems so difficult. I want people to feel good about themselves, and the things they've done. But it always seems as if I'm the one taking those feelings of self-gratitude away. I hate being such an ass about it. Sigh. What can I do to make things right..........?
Wednesday, November-2-2005, 3:43 PM
I wonder sometimes why I'd get upset everytime we raise the issue. It's just fun to stay mad at someone, I guess. Haha. Yeah, but people have knacks of making other people feel insignificant. And so the grudge continues.
Yoga's back in Surabaya and he came online like the first time the whole of this year. Glad that I was able to talk to him. A lot has happened, and it feels good just sharing with him all the things that've happened. In a way, I still wish he was here... Things started to change after he left. But oh well. You just have to accept.
Tuesday, November-1-2005, 11:33 AM
That's it. I've tried to put it behind me and pretend that nothing happened. But ppl still keep doing it. Made me feel unappreciated and insignificant. Huh.....my patience is running thin. Yet, for obvious reasons, I don't want to be angry. But it's hard. It's hard to go against your own will sometimes. It must've been hard for Jesus too. But I guess this is what unconditional love is. Jesus must've been a very strong man. I wanna be strong too. If he can do it, I can probably do it too.
Supposedly yesterday's halloween and there're a bunch of kids wearing scary masks all around the city. Jessie Lee must be having halloween every day. Coz no mask can possibly be scarier than what Joel had on. And I wonder why he never takes it off.
Was getting increasingly frustrated, but sometimes, you just need to be reminded of how selfish you can get. And maybe it's a wonder too, what a role model can do for you. You don't have to talk to them, but just thinking about them and their lifestyle really changes your perspective on certain things. Though you may never read this, but I wanna thank you for being such an inspiring figure for me. And thanks to all who were patient enough to listen. I still think Joel is scary though.
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